Oh, monablair, that sounds perfect. Don't give it another thought. It will all be just fine. Consider omitting the designation "cocktail party" on your invitation -- just write something like "Please join us for drinks and a light supper" or whatever you think is as close as you dare to calling it "dinner" without offending the groom's parents. If you know your menu, that might make it even easier -- "Cocktails and pasta bar," or "wine and cheese" or whatever. Even if you are just serving appetizers, I would make them substantial and plentiful enough to serve as supper for those who weren't at the dinner. If I were invited for "cocktails and hors d'oeuvre" at 7:30, I would make that my supper and not think it was scanty -- especially if there will be a big meal the next day at the wedding reception. I wish I were invited! I have no doubt that YOU are going to do this with great elegance and charm. Have fun!

I'm a MOG this year, too -- No, etiquette doesn't require you to serve alcohol. But -- and this depends upon your group; you know them, I don't -- some people may be disappointed. And although we and our crowd aren't big drinkers, I have to admit that alcohol does tend to make a party more festive and fun. Do they require you to have a full bar or nothing? See if you can negotiate. A limited drinks menu is much cheaper, both for the alcohol and for the number of servers needed. Our plans aren't finalized yet, but I am figuring on beer, wine, sangria, and perhaps a signature cocktail at the "rehearsal" dinner. (I put the quotes in because it's just a big, casual party for all the out of town guests the night before the wedding -- the rehearsal will have been the day before.) We will probably have 150 people (all our many relatives are out of towners).

LOL! Well, Melvalena, I hope you won't be disappointed. This was from the decorating forum, not the wedding forum, so with apologies to the others for the off-topic post, here is your answer. **** Origin of the term: When we bought our house, it had a big, beautiful living room right in the center of the house, a lovely little study in the front, an enormous family room in the back, and no dining room (the previous 2 owners didn't cook). We use a dining room a lot, often for big groups, and although we used our living room in our old house, we realized that we mostly used the small space in the middle. So we turned the living room into a dining room, and the little front study into a ... what to call it? It serves the function of a living room, but it's too small (about 11 x 12) to call it that, and I just couldn't get myself to say "parlor." My daughter (then 11) named it the "schmooze room," because, she said, "That's where the adults will go to schmooze after dinner." ("Schmooze" is Yiddish for "chat.") When, years ago, I asked the decorating forum for advice on decorating it, the term kind of caught on, and a few other posters now have schmooze rooms, too, and developed a sort of philosophy about it. It seems a lot of people (who are lucky enough to have the space for it) like having a lovely and/or goofy little retreat of a room that doesn't have to be so practical. The (tongue in cheek) guidelines are these: - No computer, TV, or most other electronic items (opinion is divided on radio/stereo, with some people saying it depends on the type of music). This is a room for conversation, reading, and long, schmoozy phone calls (IF you bring a cordless in from another room -- no phone plugged in there). - No leaving anything here. This room always looks nice, even if everyplace gets cluttered. - Try to make any snacks or beverages you bring in special, or at least in a decent dish. No bags of chips. - As this room isn't a heavy use room like a kitchen or bath, it's a good place to be a little impractical, idiosyncratic, and whimsical (like fringe near the ceiling) in your decorating. E.g., this is the place to choose fabrics because the color or texture thrills you, not because they will be durable or not show grease stains (see previous guideline), and bold colors that you adore but that you might be afraid you'd get sick of if they were in the kitchen. - Preferably located out of earshot of TV and children. Children welcome, but for non-messy, grown-up behavior only (no running, fighting, or art projects). Pet rules depend upon how well your pet obeys rules! Lots of people (especially Monablair) on the decorating forum helped, and I feel their presence whenever I am in there. Here are a few pictures of our schmooze room (the artwork is different now, and the colors aren't QUITE as vivid as they appear in the photos).

monablair, I know that you know how to word invitations, so I suspect that there is more to your question than that -- especially because we know a bit of the story behind this dinner! I think the question you need to answer first is whether you want to highlight or obscure that they are hosting. If the issue is that they aren't paying 100% or something, I think you can ignore that -- it's none of the invitees' business. (Whether the other people paying care is an entirely separate issue!) If you want to sort of obscure the fact that the groom's parents are hosting, the invitation could be something like this: Rehearsal dinner Date time place RSVP info [which might give a clue, if you include a name or an e-mail address] But if you want to show that they are hosting, you could either do it as lindac suggested, or, if you want it informal, something like this: Please join us for dinner [or "cocktails and dinner," or whatever] date time [or "immediately following the rehearsal," if appropriate] place - Mary and John Groomsparents RSVP