A gift certificate to a restaurant you know they love is a favorite for a reason. One of my favorites is something decorative and classic - my favorite is art glass, but almost anything could work. I have given starving students a gift certificate to the grocery store, which was much appreciated.

If they like plants, a flowering shrub like a camelia that can be kept in a sunny window might be nice. For something sexy, you might make a compilation CD filled with soulful music plus some bath salts and massage oils and a "learn to massage" book.

By the way, if you decide on something decorative - or almost anything else - do check out E-Bay.

Here is a link that might be useful: Kosta Boda art glass bowl

It is nice of you to want to give your friend a special gift for her engagement. I would go for something like a gift certificate since you think that she already has a planner or two. Tell them to share a romantic dinner on you.

How about some stationary and pens, or a gift certificate to a stationary store. She will be needing to write lots of thank-you notes and things.

Or, since she doesn't yet have her own house but will presumably be registering for stuff and setting one up, the book Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House is suprisingly interesting and valuable. It could be useful to her in helping her decide what she wants to regiater for as far as linens, dishes, etc., and how to care for them, and as a general housekeeping manual.

hmmm...interesting....i'm still wondering about just how many gifts you have to buy for weddings...sometimes it gets ridicilous. i mena engagement gift, shower gift, wedding gift...just buy one nice one and that should cover it all...

I like the restaurant gift certificate idea the most, but personally a gift certificate to their faovrite bridal shop is nice, so that she can have some money go towards the dress or the bra or something

I am always on the look out for 'creative' gifts to give for things like this! It really takes people off guard and strays from the ordinary! My new favorite gift idea for wedding type things is a pair of panties with a Veil attached to the back! Of course, every person is different when it comes to this stuff! You would know best! I received one as a gift at my shower and everyone went nuts about how neat it was! Now as I try to come up with ideas for wedding parties I need to attend- I find myself going back to this one- a veil thong, of all things! I've found a couple really nice ones on Ebay before, hope that helps!

People often suggest this snidely, but actually, now that she's beginning her own family life, you might consider getting her an etiquette book.

Here's why: My next-door neighbor just died, and I'm in the position of "occasional niece"--not THAT close, but they have NO ONE else. I didn't know what we should do--I wanted to help notify people; but do I write, call, what?

I looked in an etiquette book! And while I was there, I noticed that there was advice on a TON of family and social matters. Advice on how to prepare in advance for your OWN death, to help those remaining deal w/ all the details.

Info about dinner parties, confirmations, EVERYTHING.

Put that together w/ Home Comforts (a great book, and a great suggestion!), and you've got the beginning of a reference shelf--both books will be useful for her as she plans for the immediate future.

And then there's a family-medicine reference book--useful when she has kids (or even before, though somehow parenting requires more medical knowledge than being an adult). ;-)

Froggy, you should buy gifts because you WANT to. Believe it or not, some of us ARE moved to buy engagement gifts, shower gifts, AND wedding gifts. An etiquette book would tell you this.

Engagement gifts are very definitely optional. Shower gifts are mandatory IF you attend (but attendance is not required). A wedding gift is socially necessary if you know the people well enough to attend the wedding. As always, the amount is up to the giver.

There's a verse in the Bible: "The Lord loves a cheerful giver." Ditto for brides--if you can't be cheerful about giving the gift, don't give it (and stay home).

If you want "personal" for a "dearest friend," then listen VERY closely in the next week, and see what sorts of things are going on w/ her, in planning, etc. The gifts I've loved most are the little, inexpensive, not-fancy-at-all gifts that tell me someone was listening to me babble.

twinbride, I'm trying to imagine what that veil/pantie thingy looks like...lol. My daughter is going to a bachelorette party in a couple weeks and is trying to come up with something different to give her. Thanks!

Never mind - I found a few by doing a google search. Cute idea...lol!