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I would like to offer some advice, please

16 years ago

My husband is a photographer and he does a lot of weddings, so I usually tag along to help. I have seen so many weddings that were unnecessarily fraught with tension, problems and chaos because the bride and/or her family tried to do everything themselves without a wedding coordinator. I think the bride already has a job that day -being the bride. She should not also try to coordinate, solve problems, placate people, worry about deliveries, etc. etc. A good wedding coordinator has done this many times, she has experience and resources a bride does not have. She is not a bundle of nerves that day and it is so much better for vendors, etc to have one designated person they can go to, instead of asking all the family who is in charge and getting opposite and confusing orders. Also, the bride expresses her wishes directly to the wedding coodinator and she carries them out, no room for buttinskis to put in their oar. And if something does go wrong, well, you have a scapegoat who is not a family member you will feud with for the next five years.

I know some people trim this important job out to save money, but I think it is well worth the expense, from what I have seen in my own experience. What price can you put on your sanity and serenity on this day of days?

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Comments (9)

sweet_pea10
16 years ago
This message contains embedded links to other web sites. Perhaps the poster should read the forum rules.
gellchom
16 years ago
You know, sweet pea, I'm seeing them suddenly all over this site. I think maybe there are certain key words and phrases that automatically generate a "bing" search. Let me try typing in the ones that were in asolo's post and see what happens -- save money, weddings -- I'm not embedding anything.

And I agree with asolo's advice. The peace of mind for all the months in advance is worth it alone; no worrying that you forgot something or that something that seems like a good idea will not work, for some reason you can't anticipate. Also, coordinators often can get discounts for you and they know lots of good tricks for saving money -- so in the end, they can even save money.
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sweeby
16 years ago
Great advice Scarlett -- And So True!

As the bride, your options are either to run around frantic, let everything slide, or delegate to someone else. And who better to delegate to than a professional? As Gellchom so accurately points out -- someone who really knows the ropes, the tricks of the trade, and can even get you discounts.
oilpainter
16 years ago
If you are having a big blow out wedding or if you are doing this all alone, then by all means hire a wedding planner if you can afford it. However I don't believe they are at all necessary if having a small or medium sized wedding. If everything is planned well enough before hand then there should be no problems except minor ones that the Mother of the Bride and groom can handle. The bride shouldn't have to do anything.

The thing with many people is that they fly by the seat of their pants. When my son got married, his MIL to be and I handled everything. The first thing we did was make a list of things and assign them a month and week to be done. As things got added we put them in the right time slot. We both had a copy of the list and would confer at the start of the month and or week to see who was going to do what. The wedding went like clockwork with only 1 minor snag which was soon ironed out.

The whole key was organization. That's what a wedding planner brings, but you can save a bundle if you are orgaized enough to DIY
sweet_pea10
16 years ago
The problem with the moms doing it themselves is that they don't get to relax, take it all in, and enjoy their guests.
colleenoz
16 years ago
Sweet pea, I don't see any embedded text but I'm using a browser that blocks it. IVillage has recently added Intellitext to the site which automatically picks up key words and makes links. Very annoying.
oilpainter
16 years ago
colleenez: This is advertizing from GW to bring in money for the site. If you don't like it you can opt out. At the top of the forun. Click on the new advertizing and a form will come up where you can opt out
scarlett2001
Original Author
16 years ago
I am the OP (not Asolo) and I did not put those embedded links in.
jazadah
16 years ago
Delegate, delegate, delegate...our church (where my dd is getting married) has a wedding planner as part of the fees. She is only $200, and DEFINATELY worth it. I was so worried about "having to do everything and not be able to enjoy my dd's wedding". Now, I am putting all of it in her hands at a VERY reasonable cost.

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