Well...is this about the GIVER or is it about the couple getting married? I don't know all that many young people well enough to give them a truly memorable item that I *know* they would enjoy. To be honest, I think it's about both. The woman who gave me the knife didn't know me at all. She picked out something she loved and hoped that I'd love it too. Could've just as easily worked out that I threw the knife in the trash of course, but the gift meant something to me specifically because of the thought behind it. She took some time to think, what do I love that a new bride might also appreciate? And then she made a point to tell me the thought behind the gift. That's not to say that every gift needs to be that special. I'm just saying how nice it is when it can be that special and that it's up to the giver to make it that special if they want to. But if you don't feel the need to, that's ok too. As far as the use of the word "greedy", I think it's all about perception. We preceive that a newlywed couple NEEDS dishes and towels and blenders, etc. But they don't NEED a honeymoon in an exotic spot. In reality, of course, even the dishes, towels and blenders are "wants" more than "needs". So maybe if they have those things already, or for whatever reason, don't want them, they are asking for their real "want", the honeymoon. But ultimately, the giver must decide what s/he is comfortable giving. As an example, a few years back, the son of a good friend was getting married. On their registry were a lot of (what I perceived to be) useless items. Warming socks and mood music cds and very expensive decorative items. Now, normally, who cares! If that's what they want, fine. But this couple was low on funds. Neither had great jobs, and they were still sort of struggling. I just could not bring myself to buy them something that would not help them establish a home. That was totally my opinion of course, but I'm plopping down my dollars and I want them well spent. I ended up giving them cash because, in my perception, that's what that couple needed more than anything else. I don't know how they spent it, so it could have been on totally silly stuff. But at least the gift was something *I* was comfortable giving.

I know exactly what you mean! SO's X is always competing with SO. SO bought his DD a camera one year. An inexpensive one. She dropped it and broke it. The very next holiday, BM bought her a $200 camera. SO bought his DD a cell phone a few years ago. A year ago, BM bought her a cell phone and even got her a brand new plan on another carrier without even talking to SO about it (knowing that she was already on our plan and it had a contract). Supposedly the excuse was that BM got a new plan through this other carrier. Actually that's not true because we have since found out that she is still with the first carrier (because we are with them as well and it doesn't charge us when SO talks to her). SO bought his DD an iPod when they first came out. It was actually BM's idea. This past year, BM bought her an iPod Touch. It doesn't matter what we do. It's all about what benefits BM. If BM doesn't want to pay for something, then it benefits her to want us to do it. But if SO's DD loves the thing, BM will make sure that SHE is the one that gets it for her the next time.

I'm in the same camp as RoccocoGirl. I have sets of china. And I use them all. AND I'm probably going to acquire at least another set as we shop the resale and consignments shops on the SouthEastern US coast. I managed a china and glass store first out of college, and I acquired a lot of knowledge about and affinity for dinnerware. For durability, buy porcelain as opposed to stoneware. Several of the sets at W-S and C&B etc are porcelain, several are stoneware. Stoneware is fired at lower temps, therefore has to be heavier to have the same durability, and is way more susceptible to chipping. The white and grey bases also mark up with cutlery. Which is why the Mikasa French and Italian white sets all mark up pretty quickly, they're stoneware. I had a full set of that stuff for 12 that I picked up very cheap at an estate sale, because I needed some plain dinnerware about 12 years ago. Hated it. Hated the feel, the weight, the fact that it marked up so bad. Gave the whole set to my eldest stepdaughter. IMO the ultimate warm white plain dinnerware is Wedgewood White. It has a large rim, so portion control is easier, the base white is so opaque, and I love the feel of it. But it is pricey. I think I'm going to get it for our new house. I have quite a bit of serving pieces and bakeware in V&B botanica and Port Merion Botanic Garden that I want to mix with a plain white set. I also have sets of salad plates that I like to mix in. When shopping for white dinnerware pay attention to the weight of it - you have to lift it in and out of the DW and the cabinets everyday. And the base color - the differences between whites are myriad. And most of all the surface area. There is such a trend, especially in the W-S and C&B type stores, to oversize. Remember that you need to put food on that plate, and you're likely to put more food on a bigger plate so that it looks in proportion. Lastly, the biggest regret I have is not purchasing the Coalport Countryware white when it was available. Evidently they discontinued it in the last few years. ;( If anyone comes across some for sale or has it and wants to dump it, let me know! Here is a link that might be useful:

I was married 34 years ago. Back then, people used registries mostly for things that came in patterns -- dishes, flatware, crystal, sheets, towels. People might put on a very few other things -- a serving piece, for example -- and often there was a notation like "Kitchen is blue, bathroom is yellow. Likes glass and silver." No small gadget-y items. I know the common practice now is to put all kinds of things on, not just appliances and luggage and other non-pattern stuff, but little items like whisks and dishtowels. I literally had to sit down on the floor in the department store the first time I saw a six-page list full of stuff like this, I was laughing so hard -- it looked like a greedy shopping list to me, not a registry -- but now I'm used to it. Honestly, I like the old way better. It makes the couple seem less focused on gifts and getting only exactly what they would choose; he guests are less pressured to buy the couple only things they chose themselves; the couple gets more things that the guests chose themselves, which have a personal meaning and also may be things that the couple never thought of (and can usually be exchanged or passed on if they don't like them); and the couple's home won't be entirely fitted out from only 2-3 stores (the same 2-3 stores as all their friends' homes, to boot). Many people argue that as guests are trying to choose something that will please the couple, they should stick to the gifts the couple selected for themselves. But I don't think that everything that the couple might love is available at those few stores; if you register at, say, Macy's, Target, and BBB, that doesn't mean you won't be thrilled with a gift from Cartier. Also, if you are registering patterns, the more other stuff you register, the less likely your patterns are to fill in. You can usually exchange the other stuff to complete them, though. So I can't think of anything I put on our registry that I regret -- it was only patterns: dishes, stemware, flatware. What else would I put on it now if I had it to do over (in 2016)? Maybe a few more place settings of china and silver, although honestly 12 has been enough most of the time. A really good knife. A fine tablecloth and napkins. A good mixer or food processor.