Black and White?

17 years ago

In another post(MOG/MOB wearing sari)someone said black, white dresses shouldnt be worn.I know you shouldnt wear anything white or bridal looking,but I thought black was acceptable for a guest these days.Its too late for me now, but for future reference as SMOG, I wore a long black crepe skirt with a fitted white linen jacket.DH was wearing a tux.There was no communication from B, G or family on what they expected me to wear.Did I make a mistake?

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (7)

silversword
17 years ago
I think a straight black outfit with no other colors whatsoever would be harsh. Also black during a morning or early afternoon wedding. But if paired with another color, or for an afternoon/evening wedding I think black is very acceptable.

My wedding was black and white, and I told guests to feel free to wear black.

My main rule is "don't upstage the bride". That goes for sexy/revealing/bold colors/patterns as well as looking so depressed or angry (severe black) that other guests could misinterpret the clothing choice as being against the wedding.

As long as you had a smile on your face and weren't wearing a wedding dress (I actually have gone to a wedding where the MOG wore her own wedding dress!!!!! Oh the horror!!!) I'd say you were appropriate!
duckie
17 years ago
The post you refer to included info that the ceremony would include Hindu Indian and Fillipino cultural traditions. It wouldn't suprise me at all if the 'no black' rule was in reference to those. Black worn at a traditional American style wedding would not necessarily be inappropriate.
Related Discussions
Bedrooms Using Red & White (or Black & White) Toile
Q
Comments (2)
Something like this one that I kept in my inspirational folder.
...See More
Black or White Grout for Black Glass Tile Wall?
Q
Comments (9)
With my black tile I did Mapei in Charcoal. You could still see the pattern. or, what if you did a very neutral gray? these are all black tiles w/a gray grout light gray what's there now would look like a white grout. do you like the distinct contrast? white black Mapei grout, try Gray or Silver. Custom grout, try Oyster gray, Driftwood, Winter gray
...See More
black windows. black vs white trim?
Q
Comments (15)
Here is my mock-up with two over one. I did one with the existing trim in red for clarity. It is almost non-existent. I see now you are going to add to the trim. The top of the bottom windows will have to be replaced too, because they are not wide enough. I agree with you that the trim should be white. The black seems heavy handed. Second picture with two black trim on the top left and two with white on the right. Lower level shows one of each. The trim I used was not wide. One other issue is what is the center window going to look like in black? Can you do a trim there?
...See More
Should i go all white or black and white or match brown floors
Q
Comments (6)
I would vote against brown. You have beautiful floors. If the railing is painted brown to me it reads (covered up beaten up old wood) and your place is much prettier than that.
...See More
silversword
17 years ago
True Duckie. In those cultures it's best to wear bright, happy colors to a wedding.
dotz_gw
Original Author
17 years ago
My sister married a MidEastern man, and every female relative wore black..Someone at the wedding told them it was inappropriate to wear black to a wedding. Grooms sister asked me in the restroom, did they do something wrong? I was feeling SO bad for them..I told her that it was old fashioned advice, they were fine. I know they were all uncomfortable for the rest of the evening...Wish I could of found out what guest told them that..I would have given them whatfor!!!There was certainly no malice in what they wore, just their custom, I m guessing
sweet_pea10
17 years ago
The "tradition" of not wearing black refers to the MOB and MOG, not to guests. Apparently, in years past for a mother to wear black to her child's wedding was a sign of disapproval of the marriage. Today, most moms still avoid wearing black, and never white or off-white, but guests routinely wear black, particularly black cocktail dresses.

The person who embarrassed guests of another culture should be ashamed.
gellchom
17 years ago
I think the "rule" refers to guests, too, but it's not a hard and fast (I was tempted to say "black and white") rule, and the OP's outfit sounds PERFECT to me (at the wedding I went to last week, the mothers and stepmother all wore black cocktail dresses; many of the guests, including me, wore black, too). Anyway, a black skirt with a white top isn't "wearing black." The "rule" really isn't about any color; it's about dressing appropriately for the time and nature of the event.

You don't wear white because you don't want it to look like you are trying to look like a bride yourself. But a white suit with a colored blouse or something is fine -- as long as it doesn't look like something a bride would wear. Even less an issue if you are not anywhere near the bride's age (think of the difference between the bride's sister wearing a white outfit and her grandma doing so).

With black, the idea is to avoid looking like you are predicting doom. But there are plenty of black outfits that look anything but funereal! I go to a lot of weddings, and black is definitely the most common color worn by women, especially at night (probably because it is hard to find party dresses that AREN'T black). I would avoid it for a daytime wedding, unless it is clearly not something you would wear to a funeral, but it's fine at night.

Other than that, I'd avoid any dress that is too flashy or sexy if the wedding is to be held in a house of worship or will be a religious ceremony. If you wear an outfit with bare shoulders or a plunging neckline, bring a scarf or jacket to cover up for the ceremony -- it's inappropriate to flash a lot of skin in a sanctuary.
sheilajoyce_gw
17 years ago
I think that rule is passe. I wore a black and white evening dress as MOB. My friend wore a black and silver dress as MOG. I think the important thing is not to wear white and not to compete with the bride, as if I would or COULD.