First of all, thanks again for your guidance and encouragement. The event is over and yes, there were a few moments of tension. Although they did not involve us directly. I have to confess now to something that I didn't admit to earlier in an effort to avoid looking like a complete doormat. Early on I had offered to help with a dessert buffet to serve at the church, so they would have something for those guests they weren't inviting. As it turned out, I purchased, and made everything that was served (with the help of two friends and our children). All of the items were chosen by the bride ahead of time. We decorated the tables with greenery and candles, and made a beautiful and tasty presentation including choc. dipped strawberries, etc. We had fun working together on it which made it worth it. Since I hadn't originally intended on doing it all, I decided to forgo a "traditional" wedding gift. While we were in the middle of baking and dipping etc., I received a phone call asking how they should word something on the program inviting those who were not invited to the "reception" to enjoy the treats at the church. I told them that there was going to be plenty of food for everyone. Then I was told that they wanted to limit it to those who were not going to the reception so they could talk to others faster and keep to their time schedule. I replied that there was no way to word it that would not draw more attention to the fact that some people were not invited to the reception, and told them again that we had already worked very hard to make enough food for everyone. They finally agreed and dropped it. My 8 year old went up to the bride during the "church reception" and told her that he should be invited to the dinner because he was "part of it", she told him to talk to his mother. I questioned him and confirmed that she never said anything like yes, but just wanted me to handle it. So I told him that technically he should be included, but explained that it was going to be very boring and that he was going to have more fun at his friend's house. He seemed to accept that. One guest, a high-school friend of both the bride and groom, asked the bride how to get to the restaurant. She apparently told him that the seating at the restaurant was limited and that they had not been able to invite him to that part. I guess he decided to make a point of how rude he thought they were, because he showed up at the reception anyway. They had the owner of the restaurant ask him to leave. He replied that he was only planning on staying until the bride and groom got there so he could wish them well. So then the bride's mother came up and insisted that he leave, telling him that he already offered his congratulations at the church. (Incidentally, the bride never wanted him invited to the wedding for some reason, but gave in when he called asking if his invitation was lost.) He remained in the parking lot until the couple arrived, and said something like, "Well, apparently I'm not invited to celebrate with you, but I just wanted to wish you well before I leave." The bride's mother said something to me about not wanting to be rude, but that they shouldn't have to deal with something like this on their wedding day. Personally, I feel they created the mess, and she should have let them suffer the fallout. One niece,(the flower-girl) who at fourteen towers over several bridemaids, including another niece who is only thirteen, was somehow the only member of the wedding party (attending the recep.) not included in the limo ride to the reception. She was understandably crushed. They said something about the ring-bearer not going so.... Incredible! Anyway, it took forever to serve everyone. We literally sat at the table for 2 1/2 hours before they brought our table's entre'. The portions were so small that my husband ended up taking our boys to Burger King after to get something else to eat. Our only relatives from out-of-town had assigned seating in the corner opposite from us. And I mean...they were locked in...the only way for them to get out was to ask four other people to get up first. So I only got to visit with them for a few minutes after dinner was served, and while the cake was cut. They were seated next to the parents of the bride and friends of the brides parents that they didn't know. The best thing I can say is It's Over!; the couple is very good-looking; my ds was extremely cute as the ring-bearer and even added some comic relief the bride was hoping for; it was fun working with friends the day before; and It's Over!!!

You write, “I have not asked her anything. We discussed aspects of things of this nature years ago and for the most part she agreed at the time. Maybe she still does? Maybe she changed? Maybe she never really meant it? I don't know. But I have said nothing to her about this since she brought up being a bridesmaid months ago.” i am confused. This is so important to you, but when she told you about being a bridesmaid, you said nothing. Months passed and you said nothing. The wedding is tomorrow, and you’ve still said nothing. Nor have you confirmed what you hoped she feels about this. What‘s the plan here? Just let her think everything’s fine, and then she comes home from the wedding to find you gone for good, with no warning? This sounds like a pretty sneaky test. It’s one thing to ask that she make sacrifices for your feelings. It’s quite another to require that she read your mind as well. You talk about a “clear” line -- how clear can it be to her if you haven’t said a word? It is baffling that in all these months you never told her how you felt, how important this is to you, that you really don’t want her to be in this wedding. Even if you tell her now, with just hours to go before the wedding, you are putting her in an impossible spot. You never just asked for what you want and need. You never gave her a chance to succeed. That’s what loving spouses do. Which terrible outcome are you hoping for? That she will read your mind (or listen to an eleventh-hour ultimatum — because that’s exactly what it would be) and back out of the wedding, which will make everyone she knows think forever that you are a world-class controlling jerk? Or that you will have an excuse to walk out? Those are the only two outcomes you have set up. I strongly encourage you to consider a third: accept that your wife is going to be in the wedding and attend graciously without complaint as her escort. If you don’t think you could pull that off, then plead illness and stay home — a very rude thing to do, but much better than spoiling someone's wedding. Next time, you can talk it over first, and maybe get a pleasant surprise. It wouldn‘t mean your feelings and opinions are wrong at all. It’s just being a loving and caring grownup spouse, and playing fair.

You’ll want to know all these things: There are only two things people remember about weddings - Whether the food was good or bad, and Whether they had a good time, or not. Ditto on round or oval tables. Being casual is one thing, and too many brides think it’s great to let everyone choose their own seats, but thoughtful assigned seating makes sure that aunt Emma sits next to her favorite cousins whom she hasn’t seen in years. It keeps those old school friends together so they don’t end up with no one to talk to. You get the idea. As the evening goes on, people move around and change seats to visit others. And yes, special head tables. Doesn’t have to look like “the last supper” but it can include spouses or dates. Often overlooked... find a spot close to the food and drinks to set up a few tall cocktail tables. There’s nothing worse than having both hands full and trying to nibble food while you’re standing chatting with people. Also consider creating a couple lounge areas. Small areas people can talk. The weddings I’ve had the least fun at were large, noisy one-room events with bad food and no drinks. Many of your friends and families haven’t seen each other in a long time and love to catch up. If it’s too noisy to chat it’s maddening. Fun things... have fun and novel things to do and see. Have a slide show of the bride and groom, but set it up in a corner like a movie with popcorn. Get conversation starters from www.talking tables.com to put on the cocktail tables. Another corner with a nice backdrop and silly photo props for photos. We even surprised our daughter with a penny press with a die that was custom for her wedding. It wasn’t a budget-buster. Finally - and most importantly, assign trusted men - yes, men the job of watching the gift and cards table and have them pack it all up right before food comes out in a secure location. Not in car trunks. Have the venue provide you with a locked room or closet for them. This is especially crucial for anyone else who might have a wedding in a more public space like a hotel. Speaking of men, they are sitting on the sidelines writing checks, but not having much to do or say. I found that I could include my husband by giving him a few specific tasks, especially the week of. Running errands, etc. I never mentioned ceilings... because no one cares. Ever. Congrats and good luck.

Hello, I can understand your ordeal. Decorating can be hard. When it comes to decorating, the room itself speaks to you how to decorate it because of the elements it provides. That helps, makes bringing things together easier. I am going with the idea of keeping the room lighter and brighter. Lets start with the wood elements. They are three different shades, the Mantel, the floor and the window frame. The mantel is the darkest shade which makes the room look little dark. The floor and the window frame shade of color is almost close. 1. So the first thing to do and this option will be cheaper than flooring, change the mantel color, Either get it stained light to match the flooring color or paint it white so that it blends with the built-in. 2. Place a light sofa, mid- century modern kind, in front of the Fireplace. Matching loveseat will go by the wall, next to the built-in on the left by the radiator I‘m presuming, cant see in the picture very well. 3. Leave the window free. All the brightness and airiness is coming from the window, don‘t cover it with a huge chunk of furniture just maybe a mid- century modern small single seater. The love seat and the chair should be tilted to bring them together to sofa. 4. The coffee table, a rectangle one will do because of the room disposition, glass or acrylic, they dont show and visually dont take much space, makes the room look light. Other add-on furniture will be couple of light end tables with routine decor. 5. On top of mantle, if you want to decorate put a vertical, not horizontal, picture, painting or mirror, whatever looking-at makes you feel happy. One tall plant, a fig tree, rubber plant on the left corner by the window. 6. If you want to use a rug, dont choose a solid color rug, makes the room look boring, Choose a bold patterned rug. They have a lot red and blue with geometrc patterns or artwork patterns red white and black. Stay away from brown and the beiges. Make it bold and the furniture that goes with it will be lighter shade white, off- white, cream, not beige. Its of course my personal opinion, dont like beige. You are decorating the room choose whatever makes you feel happy.. 7. in the end, I would suggest, dont choose to put a lot of furniture, unnecessarily takes up lot of space. More free space in the room makes it feel more welcoming. 8. ENJOY DECRATING.. In the end when all of this will come together it will make you feel ver happy. The experience will be very rewarding. Thats the beauty of decorating. It makes you feel good at the end of the game.