I have not seen my 14yr old son since September 2015. This is because my now ex-husband, had me arrested for allegations of assault to injury on both him and our son. I believe that this happened because approximately 3 weeks prior to my arrest I had given my husband an ultimatum that if things hadn't changed in our marriage by the time we returned from a family holiday in the October that we would be over. We had at that time been married for 13yrs and our son was 12yrs old. Our marriage had been awful for almost the entirety of it but I tolerated things as I thought it was best for our son. My husband was a sociopath and narcissist. He was emotional abusive to me, offered no support in parenting our son, was catty and sarcastic to my older son from a previous marriage. He hacked my mobile, email and social media and basically had me left with no confidence or self-esteem. He contributed very little financially towards the running of the family home and I paid for 7 yearly holidays abroad and he contributed nothing other than some spending money. He very much was manipulative of our son, particularly against me. He allowed our son, latterly, to speak to me disrespectfully and threaten me with hitting me etc. He did nothing to intervene. To cut a very long story short, the case went to court (despite there being no medical evidence to back up his claims) and my lawyer said that my ex-husband "hood-winked" the Sheriff into believing his fabricated evidence. My son's evidence was very distressing to hear as he became extremely distressed whilst giving evidence (behind a scree) and was in tears saying he couldn't remember things. Unfortunately the Sheriff took his upset as evidence that he was having to relive the abuse. I was found guilty and following background reports and character references the Sheriff when I was in court for sentencing stated that "having read the numerous character references and background report he had a better insight into the situation and that it was clear I was a loving mother". I was given a 12month supervision order in February 2017. From the date of my arrest until the date I was sentenced I was on bail with a condition attached whereby I was not allowed to contact my son and only allowed to see him if he requested it. My husband, who is an IT officer, disconnected all of my side of the family to whom my son was exceptionally close, effectively cutting off everyone from my son's life. A few weeks ago my older son and I spotted that my son's name appeared on social media (having previously been blocked) and so my older son has finally managed to make contact and subsequently had conversations and video chats with him. I have too managed to see his details and I have sent him a private message just letting him know that I have thought about him every day and will always be there for him should we ever want or need me. I also told him I hoped he was ok and that I missed and loved him always. As yet I have not had a reply but I will hope and pray that eventually he will. My divorce came through last week so I am pleased about that but my heart breaks for not having seen my son in all this time. We, incidentally had a very close relationship right up until the day of my arrest. My husband clearly wanted to destroy me because I had finally stood up to him and stated that I wasn't tolerating his treatment of me any longer. Being able to read on this forum of others having gone through similar is very, very helpful.

Just because her mom is demanding it, doesn't mean your DH has to listen. After all, that's why he has sole custody. Kathline makes a good point that BM may be trying to validate her role as mommy. We go through this with my SD's mom. She was taking her daughter out of school early because it was her 'right' as a mom, even though the teacher and DH finally said something about it. She went on a rant that everyone was keeping her from her baby! Since then, she's gone through SD's homework folder (which she hadn't done before) and fills out any form that says 'parent signature' on it. If I were you, I would not engage in her rant or do as she demands. If you run to take her to the doctor every time BM says so (even just to document), then BM will continue to demand it. If SD is feeling better, then I'd write back and say "she seems to be fine now or getting better. If she gets worse, I'll notify you right away and take her for treatment." Does BM pay for any of the medical costs? My SD's mom is supposed to pay half but we've never gotten a penny. She hasn't demanded we take her to the doctor but in your case, I might have told her that if she was so worried about the health of her child, she wouldn't let the lack of insurance information stop her. I know I wouldn't as a mom. But telling her that is only going to make her more defensive of her role as a mom, then you are essentially calling her a bad mom and that will probably get a bad reaction. theotherside, if OP didn't say that everyone in the house has had the flu, I'd be more inclined to agree with you. If the symptoms don't go away or get worse in two days, I would definitely find out why, of course we were sick for three days and it was just the stomach flu. So, part of assessing whether it requires a trip to the doctor would include what everyone has eaten or what the source of the problem is. I'd look at the big picture first. (and anytime there is blood, it's a no brainer...)

BM told the courts we (meaning I) don't allow her to talk to her children ... so after that we granted free access to a phone to call mom don't care what time it is ... she pays for their cell phones ... she bought one for SD for christmas. So here we have a cycle of phones ringing if mom wants to talk to her children ... house phone, 3 kids cell phones, and hubby's cell phone ... she calls them in a circle until someone answers one time.... I was sick as a dog and the last thing on my mind was taking a phone with me into the bathroom .... she called the house, hubby's cell, and 2 kids phones consecutively for almost a half hour hubby was outside with the 2 of the kids doing stuff in the yard.. i yelled for them to answer the phone mom's calling ... no one heard a phone ringing ... finally it stopped .... 15 minutes later the ringing started again ... at this point i picked up the phone and said unless ss14 is on fire stop calling here! She said he's not on fire but I want to talk to my babies!!!! I hung up the phone. The police showed up, had to explain to the officer that I was spewing liquid out of every orafice of my body and that hubby and the children were not in the home to answer her calls ... showed him how many times she had called EACH phone. She called again while he was here this time the house phone. He answered the phone and told her everything was fine and the children were fine did she need anything else ... she needed to talk to her children he told her your children are outside playing they will call you when they come in. SS14 broke his cell phone on purpose .... 2 months ago .... he doesn't want another one ... what 14 yr old wouldn't want a cell phone he has had it since he was 11 mind you ..... he can't stand how his mom bugs him all the time calling him constantly so he told her he doesn't want a new phone ... i gave him an old one of mine which he really likes he refuses to bring it to mom's to have it turned on .... this way she can't bug him .... So LH until SS gets tired of the phone calls you just have to deal.... he needs to tell her i'll call you and your hubby needs to set her straight ... no clue how my hubby never could .... I totally agree it interupts his time with the kids and undermines anything you are doing with them and its a distraction ... but see your hubby is not the one getting the phone calls .... When SD was seeing a counselor who told me she can't really talk to her mom that much on the phone .... told her ok I will leave a message on your phone everytime she calls mom and another when she gets off the phone .... did it for a week .... the counselor told mom there has to be a better way to deal with this than being on the phone constantly. So thinking your hubby needs a call everytime mom's calls just to interupt his day .... When the house phone rings now ... unless one of the kids answers it it goes to voicemail.... I do not even look at hubby's phone to see who is calling.... kids phone are on vibrate while here and if they are talking to mom they have to go in their rooms. SD isn't allowed to bring her cell phone to school ... so mom drops it off here when SD is here so SD can have it if she needs it. she's 11. I see it as a control issue ... mom gets to control the kids and dad's relationship even when they are here.

I was a crisis counselor for sexual assault in the past and did children's advocacy in law school. I applied for CASA training through my last employer and a program where they said they were wanting to facilitate community involvement, but when it came time for training, they wouldn't let me take the hours away from work to do it. ??? I always thought I would get back to that after the boys were grown, but I stayed busy volunteering in the schools while they were home. My dad passed at the end of my youngest's senior year in high school and I handled the estate, so I am just now starting to think about whether that is still something I want to do. I recently read that they have an advocate for every child in our county but still want volunteers for future additions, so the need would probably not be high demand. DH is about to go half-time at work and ease into retirement. We talked about possibly doing Habitat when that day came, but we haven't discussed it recently. I like to do wall finishing and painting. Not sure if I would be good at much else, but would be willing to try. I volunteer with an arts support group and will probably get involved in their children's outreach program and possibly ushering at events. Right now I have eased into the scholarship committee which only meets about half the year. I have one director who would like to try to get a fine arts and performing center in our area and has suggested that if I get bored. I know someone who might be able to help corral the right people and she's leaving another position at the end of the year. That would be a major undertaking, but I would love to see it happen. That will at least be a conversation or two to test the waters. As far as working with the elderly, I would second the comment above. You are not likely to be stuck doing things you are not comfortable with and there are many levels of elder care -- from independent senior living to assisted living and memory care. You could pick one of the more independent settings. So many of them just love having someone to talk to.