Carpenter having few brews at my house...

15 years ago

I need to vent, what would you guys do? The carpenter/handyman has almost finished up except for one or two small things. He just called me to tell me that he was going to be leaving in a little while but that he had a friend (lady) that has decorated some houses in my neighborhood stop by and have a beer with him! He said that my husband told him he could have one and he thought we wouldn't mind. I'm sorry but I mind. I wouldn't if my personal belongings weren't all around! Am I being weird?! My husband said "Awww, it will be alright."

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Comments (11)

neesie
15 years ago
I think your hubby should have asked YOU before he okayed the idea. At this point it is between you and your hubby. I wasn't clear on who was supplying the beer either.
dprisock1027
Original Author
15 years ago
We have it on draft so the guy invited his friend over. My hubby told him he could have a beer when he finished the job - NOT to have friends over or supply friends with our beer. I try to put myself in the other persons shoes and I wouldn't feel comfortable sitting in someone elses house while they are not there, drinking their beer, playing with their dogs - totally uninvited. But that is just me.
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lowspark
15 years ago
Not much you can do about it now since hubby OK'd it, but I'd just make it clear to hubby that you're not comfortable with this kind of thing for future reference, even if he thinks it's ok.

Personally, I wouldn't want anyone socializing in my house when I wasn't there. It's a bit too intrusive.
ehs20815
15 years ago
I think it's such a violation of personal space, and perhaps your DH misunderstood the situation. Let's assume this was all based on the contractor wanting to show off his work--and his fancy pants clients who have their own beer deal!--so I might say something to him like, "I'm glad you thought to show off our house to your professional colleague. When I first heard about (situation) from DH, I thought, 'Yikes, is he having a kegger at our house?!'" Then I would offer to take some nice photos of the finished project and give them to him, along with a rec. letter. That should let him know beer bashes while you're away are not cool, but that you support the idea of showing off his work--just via 2D instead of in person.
sandsonik
15 years ago
I wouldn't feel too cool about this either, but I guess the good news is that he TOLD you about this, so it's not like he was sneaking around, and that your husband gave him permission to have the beer though there may have been a miscommunication about having a friend over!

I don't think there's a whole lot you can do now except to hope that if he ever thinks about doing it again, he will again ask permission and you can tell him you're not comfortable with it. Or come right out and tell him the same thing.
dprisock1027
Original Author
15 years ago
You guys are so great to listen to me rant. I appreciate your thoughts. It's finally the weekend and I'm going to try to forget about it.
User
15 years ago
I think it's wildly inappropriate. :(
gshop
15 years ago
Go have a beer & discuss it with DH. But best of all savor your new kitchen that is almost finished! Good Luck!
kateskouros
15 years ago
if your husband told him he could have a beer than i wouldn't have a problem but that doesn't mean he can invite guests! it's been my experience that if you give people an inch they'll take a mile. we renovated our last house top to bottom. i remember we were heading out on a vacation when our painting crew was due in. we'd used them before so sort of "knew" them. i always left drinks in the fridge for them and they were trustworthy. but when we got back we were shocked to learn that one of the crew decided to SLEEP OVER because he was working late! whattttttt? now i have rules. the crews are there to work. it's not my responsibility to feed them. i am not responsible for their comfort or happiness. i am respectful and friendly but NEVER will i extend myself again. they get paid and that's enough.
sue36
15 years ago
I think that by inviting the guy to have a beer a situation was created where the guy thought you were closer (personally) than you are, making him think what he was doing was ok. The fact that he told you about it seems to support this. You may think, "how could someone be so dense", but not everyone is clued in to the same degree. Mixing business with pleasure can create awkward situations like this.

I wouldn't mention it to him, just don't tell him to help himself (when you aren't home) again.
polie
15 years ago
Sue36 is on the mark, I agree. Have a conversation with your DH and don't be too harsh on the contractor for what's happened in the past. Like Sue36 says, don't have DH tell the guy to help himself when you aren't home again.