I'm glad things are going well for you Doodle --

And I hate to rain on your parade, but Hubby needs to tell his Ex soon, because if he doesn't, the little girls will and she will have her dramatic meltdown in front of them, which wouldn't be good.

And as odd as it sounds for a 'nice' news flash to backfire, a 'nasty' one isn't right either. Can he just leave her a very neutral and factual message - email or voicemail - so he can escape without being either kind or cruel?

I'm in 100% with you Sweeby. I'd rather get it over with but he just won't do it. He keeps saying let her hear from someone else.

The girls are going to BLURT it out when she comes over here one day and she is going to flip her lid. I'll send the stinking message if he doesn't want to. It's sad that it even has to be an issue.

One fun way of counting down to something is to make a colored chain and pull off one link every day. Colored construction paper works really well - just cut into strips and staple one into a circle, then link the others one by one to it. Kids love it (and adults too)! Hopefully they won't bicker about who gets to pull off the link this day... =-)

To announce our news, BF just took a pic of SD wearing "I'm the Big Sister" t-shirt and sent it to everyone he sends pics of SD too. BM is on that email list.

She didn't say a word, but then again, she is "finding herself" and isn't involved with SD anyway.

Giggle, that's a cute idea!

I completely agree - mom needs to be told by DH sooner rather than later so that should she have visitation with the girls soon she will have had time to calm down and adjust to the idea. It might be wise to tell him that his theory of letting her find out from someone else may be good for him, but it will be potentially VERY bad for his girls. He is the adult - he needs to act it. If he is then still willing to take that risk, shame on him.

Perhaps he can just make a call to her about visitation times and then just slip in something like, "the girls already know, so I figured I would tell you doodleboo is pregnant"
Then end the conversation!

I too have a suspicion that the girls will be excited and share the news with bm, only to be made to feel awful when their bm melts down. And then they may feel guilty sharing in your excitement for quite a while!

LOL - we told BM we were engaged when she was lamenting to FDH that she bought a pair of jeans that she has to wear every day from now until age 40 because she spent too much on them and he said "You probably spent more on your jeans than Ceph did on her wedding dress" "Wedding dress? What for? You guys are getting married?"

Giggle NorCal both had really cute ideas. Thanks :)

I think he should tell her as well but he just will not do it. He is convinced that by him telling her it would make her feel intitled or something.? I don't know. I think he's worried she is going to try and stress me out and make the pregnancy hell so he's just putting it off as long as possible.

This woman is certifiable ladies. I have had friends say to me do NOT be left alone around her after she finds out....she may shove you down stairs. It is a very real concern of my close friends and family. Part of the reason why he is considering the restraining order.

My big fear isn't for her benefit, I could care less about her feelings, which I should be ashamed to admit. It's the GIRLS who are going to be hurt if they see their mom show her tail over the baby and I deffinatly do not want THAT. J says they are going to see it regardless because once she hears the news be it from him or someone else she is going to make a fool of herself.

She has also proven that she is not above getting the girls trapped in the middle. She WILL tell them the baby makes her sad. She has told them I make her sad because she still loves daddy and has countless times tried to make them pick a favorite which is a horrible thing to do to four year old babies. (Keep in mind it was her who left for another man but now somehow I've turned into TOW.)

I'm a little bummed that my happy time will somewhat be shadowed with worry that seniora psychopath will do something to hurt the girls. My defenses are always going to be up. I'm already worried about how the girls will handle a new baby w/o her feeding them poison and trying to make them think the baby is bad or somehow the reason they are no longer together.

I wonder if she already knows???? We live in a small town and everyone here knows us since we are in local bands.....

Ohh, Doodleboo, then just let DH deal with it. I don't know your situation, but is there anyway to tell her while you and J have the Girls for a couple days so she can absorb the news?

Anyway, don't let it get to you sweets. If you are in a small town, I wouldn't be surprised if she already knows.

In my experience, all little girls like babies. It was so much fun taking SD along picking out the nursery room themes and clothes. My mom even crowned her queen of ceremonies for the baby shower. She was only 3 but we bonded a lot over incoming DD. I don't know how old the girls are in your life, but I bet you can still make it a lot of fun and exciting.

Giggle

the girls are both four...identical twins. They are both really excited. They walk up to complete strangers in the resteraunts, stores, exc. and blurt out that " Doodle has a baby in her belly." :)

We have custody of the girls right now. She can't get them till the court date is set and visitation is re-written. That could take a good while so I may not have to see a whole lot of her anyway. heres a hoping.

If you're in a small town with overlapping circles of aquaintance, it shouldn't be too hard to assure she hears about the baby. Do you have a trusted friend who would be willing to let the news "slip out"? While I'll admit, that isn't the stand-up thing to do, if Hubby won't do it, then somebody else has to, and it certainly shouldn't be you, OR the little girls.

But let PsychoMom get over her initial rage out of the girls' earshot. And actually, if she does blow a fuse, and it's witnessed by one of your friends, that friend might be very helpful in getting a restraining order against her if that proves necessary.