what kids learn that we dont even realize they are learning

15 years ago

I didnt want to get off topic in the "Second Marriages and The Kids money" thread so I decided to start another one. In that thread is what brought up what kids learn from watching their parents and it reminded me of a story with my Ssons.

Probably about a month or so ago now I went to get the tires changed on my car. My oldest ss wanted to ride with me so I said sure. On the way to the tire place my ss asked me where we were going. I told him we were going to get the tires changed on the car. He told me (and I still can not believe he said this but) "Well, it's a good thing you brought me so that you have a man to help you with that" Now mind you this is my ten year old ss. After I got done choking I told him ... "Yeah, I am glad that you wanted to come with me and all but I do not need a man to do anything for me. I am perfectly capable of doing it by myself" His response was his usualy "Well that's true" Which is his standard response for just about everything. When I got home I told DH what he said... I was like how in the world did he get an idea like that in his head. DH said "I dont know probably because his mother calls crying everytime she has a flat tire or well anything and wants someone to come to her rescue and do it for her." I still couldnt believe it... I told DH this is unacceptable... So, I made the boys the next weekend come outside with me while I fixed the brakes on my car. I can not be raising "men" that think women can't take care of themselves.

Anyways, it made me think of what kids pick up on and you dont even realize they are picking up on it and learning from it. And, you never quite know what lesson they are getting when you arent paying attention.

Comments (17)

imamommy
15 years ago
lol, that reminds me of when my SD came back after her 1st or 2nd visit at BM's with BM's new BF and told us "My mom sure got a good man. He knows how to cook." She thought it was the greatest thing that he cooked breakfast because BM doesn't cook at all. We hope that isn't her only prerequisite for a 'good man'. (but it's a start I guess)
mom2emall
15 years ago
My middle sd has also "learned" some pretty funny stuff! After visiting her bm last summer she decided she wanted to have 6 kids. When I asked her what kind of house she is going to buy to live in with 6 kids she replied that they would all live with me and dh. I said you can't raise a family while you live at home with your parents. Her reply "well my mom and her bf live at my grandparents house with all their kids and they only have 2 bedrooms there."
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kkny
15 years ago
Fortunately my DD is not "learning" from Dads SO. She has plans and goals for college and grad school and doesnt intend to marry some "old geezer" -- so she can sit at pool all day. And before you jump on me, she considers anyone me or Xs age an "old Geezer"
gigglemonster
15 years ago
Good for you, Mom of 4!

One of the teachers at DD's preschool used to tell the kids that they couldn't play with a toy b/c it was a boys toy or a girls toy. DD would come home and ask constantly is this for a girl or boy? I finally dug it out of her what the teacher was doing and had to have a meeting with the director about it.
mom2emall
15 years ago
Gigglemonster's post reminded me of a funny story. Last year me and ss were at some garage sales. He saw a kitchen set with food and asked me if he could get it. Since he has been garage sailing with me all day I decided to get it.

So, I bought it for him and we brought it home. As he played with it he so reminded me of dh. He was using the pretend burners and placing the pretend burgers on them and seasoning them and flipping them as my dh does on the grill! It was so cute! When dh asked him if he liked his kitchen set ss said "ya, now I can cook just like you do daddy"!

So I guess the fact that my dh cooks (in the kitchen and on the grill) has rubbed off on my ss so he knows that guys can cook too!
oh_my
15 years ago
When we were young, my brother had a paper at school where he had to draw a line from the chore to either the mom or the dad, and he couldn't understand why the teacher marked him wrong for drawing the line from the lawn mower to the mom because my mom had always mowed the lawn. It's funny how the gender roles have change in the last 20-25 years. They would never give a paper like that to kids in school now.
justnotmartha
15 years ago
What I'm finding is even more eye opening is what they learn about us that we don't even realize. For instance, if I say to my SD "Dance tryouts are June 1st," she will go to a calendar to see if she is with her mom over that weekend because "Mom won't want to drive me to that so I'll need to arrange a ride." OR "SD, do you have any homework you need checked?" "Yes, but it's math so I'll ask Dad." :-)
finedreams
15 years ago
I like a story when DD was in elemntary school and was asked to draw a picture of her family for some kind of exhibition in school.

When i went there everyone's picture had mom, dad, siblings that's it. If parents were divorced sometimes just mom.

DD's pic had a long line of people holding hands: she in the middle, I am on one side, her dad on the other(we were already divorced), both sets of grandparents, my btother, SIL, cousin, my aunt with her family, greatgrandmother, one grandmother's cat, two cats of other grandparents etc etc. She did not have siblings yet.

it was so cute and funny. every time she was required to bring family pics, she would drag pics of every single relative including those who passed away.

I guess her concept of a family is always extended family.
kkny
15 years ago
My DD even included "uncle Bob" - he is no relation but a good friend of dads.
ashley1979
15 years ago
Here's a good one for you all:

My FSD's BM took a job offer in New Mexico. (FSD is 13 y/o.) Well, as previously mentioned, BF basically gave up all rights to have any say-so as to where his DD lives when he signed divorce papers he didn't even read and gave BM Sole Managing Conservatorship. So, before FSD moved, BF was talking with her and it came up that he should probably have new custody papers drawn up to make sure BM flies FSD home once a month (as BM said she would do). BM has a tendancy to say whatever she has to to make a situation non-confrontational at the time and then do whatever she wants anyway (by not answering calls or e-mails until it's too late or something of that sort). So, anyway, FSD screams out "No! I don't want t be like (my DS name)!"

First of all, I've only been to court 3 times with my DS's BD. The first was for the divorce hearing, the second for enforcement (both within 6 months of eachother and like almost 6 years ago) and teh third because the AG of Texas wanted to adjust CS. None of which has ever involved BF or FSD and hasn't changed any custody or visitation.

Secondly, how would she know any of this if we hadn't even told my DS? Obviously BF has told her.

I was so angry with BF that he would discuss any of this with a minor child who has absolutely nothing to do with the situation. So what did she tell her BM? Even worse, what did she tell my DS? That's what I was worried about. BD and I decided that, since none of the court appearances changed anything, we didn't need to talk to our son about them. What if FSD told him some skewed version of what she heard? He would've been upset.

Thankfully, she didn't talk to DS about it. But BD and I talked to him so that, just in case she did, he would hear the truth first.
doodleboo
15 years ago
On the subject of drawings...funny story.

One of my girls drew a picture of me and one of her father.
The picture of her father was not unlike a Mr. potato head with arms legs and hair. She did have eyes, a mouth a nose and even a belly button and his mole on his cheek...hahahaha. The mouth was also wide open which I found to be a riot. She knows her father:) It was still very mister potato-ish in general shape.

My photo was different though. I had the eyes, nose, mouth, belly button and even ear rings. My torso was seperated from my bottom half and was shaped more like a real human rather than a Mrs. Potato head. I also noticed, that between my legs there was something that WASNT on the daddy picture. When I asked N----- what it was she replied nonchalantly "It's your Uni" which is their name for their....you guessed it.

I thought this was a hoot. They still don't know what daddy looks like but I guess they must of assumed with us all being girls I look like them. It was even cuter when she posted them on the fridge. She made it so we were holding hands, daddys potato head picture and my XXX rated one...hahaha.
theotherside
15 years ago
On occasion my son has complained when I asked him to help with something that I was asking him instead of one of his sisters simply because he was male and that I was being sexist. To me it made sense to ask someone who was over six feet tall and had a lot of upper body strength rather than someone almost foot shorter and 100 pounds lighter to move a bookcase, but he didn't always see it that way when he was younger.
pseudo_mom
15 years ago
And he couldn't open the stuck window??????
ceph
15 years ago
LOL *snort*
theotherside
15 years ago
pseudo_mom,

Not when he was TWELVE! Now that he is an adult, he is taller than his father, but I didn't really want to wait for four years or more to open the window.
imamommy
15 years ago
OMG, not the window AGAIN!!!
justnotmartha
15 years ago
((Breaking the window)))

what kids learn that we dont even realize they are learning

Comments (17)

imamommy

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