You are all so dear to me...if only I could work with you! I don't think I ever posted this part. Three weeks ago, I was trapped in my office for office hours and thought I was starting to hear voices. Yeesh. Then I heard them talking about this program that I've objected to. And it sounds like my nemesis, Dr. Donuts. So I was going out for a smoke and it got louder. And I realized I could hear my review committee through the air conditioning vent! I heard Dr. Donuts bad mouthing me for nearly two solid hours. I'm quite sure this is why I got voted down in the department. But of course, it's a sealed meeting, I'm not supposed to know about it so I can't defend myself. Ok, now that you have the background here's today... I went to Dr. Boss' office to request the documents. Of course he says, "Sit down" and "Do you mind if I close the door". Typical of his administrative personality. He claims that he cannot provide such documents because basically, it's not in his job description, he can't possibly locate them. Then he goes on to attack me for: 1. My students didn't attend Dr. Donuts lunch. This is part of Dr. Donuts hating me. I excused myself, retrieved the emails and said, "OH really, Donuts said that? It's right here in the email that students did attend." Hm. No reply. So he changed tactics to... 2. Well you're not on campus, Dr. L was inviting you to events that happened on Saturdays! Oh? Hm. She never did. 2. "But I hear things and I don't want to upset you but I hear you canceled classes". Oh? Date and time please? Well there was one day when you were sick and you called at 9am. That's a good reason for missing work but you must understand, we had students in the department... You get the idea. Sure you can be sick but do it at a time that's easier for the department. Of course it's a valid reason to miss work but I'm going to punish you for it anyway. This is typical of his style. I just couldn't take it any more so I just calmly said, "Excuse me Dr. T, I came here to pick up the documents that you cannot provide. I really need to eat lunch and be ready for my noon class" and I left! Basically, he gave me three more pieces of ammunition! I can include Dr. Donuts nonsense that I wasn't supposed to know happened! I emailed Dr. L right away and she confirmed that she never invited me to any Saturday events. Then two other faculty memebers plus our recruiter were able to give me the documents I needed that show he didn't invite me to the major service event in question! Dr. T is responsible for inviting me to that service event and is saying I didn't attend when he is the one who didn't invite me. BOTH YEARS! :) Did y'all send sunflowers or something? Boss man stepped in it in a big way today.

Let me begin by saying I would never defend this company if I hadn't experienced the same thing with positive results... NOW - We could start a club!! I ordered during their spring sale - one of the first days of the 2009 sale. I had never ordered from them before. I received an email on a Friday, stating that my order had shipped. It was HOT HOT HOT then... I was so mad, I went to the UPS website and calculated shipping time if Bluestone Perennials had waited until Monday to ship. I think I did receive a tracking number, or maybe I called and was told that it did ship...My memory fades...Waiting until Monday would've had them arrive on Thursday, vs Wednesday, and plants would not have sat in a UPS warehouse or truck over the weekend. My plants arrived, on Wednesday, and some looked like lettuce does when you store it in a plastic bag and it goes bad - mushy green stuff. I called, still all mad, and a lady was super nice. She said they would replace all dead plants. I cut the mushy stuff away and planted - in the HEAT!! Stupid me. I have to say, it's been months and I am still irritated about the shipping timing, but the plants ALL look great!! Perhaps their experience shows that the quantity of plants that truly die, after crazy shipping practices, are minimal. Someday I'll get over the shipping, which I think is ridiculous but maybe necessary with the numbers of orders they receive, and I definitely will order from them again. If I order again during less then plant friendly weather, and of course I will since that's when they are on sale, maybe I will opt for expedited shipping; maybe not. Customer service is great there. Unhealthy plants would never have survived what mine order was subjected to - the shipping and then immediate planting in 90 degree heat. STOP WORRYING:)) I fretted for no reason...

Audrey, I'm so glad you feel better for the moment, but it is only for the moment....and then every other moment you pick yourself back up. You already know there will be many more. Head them off right now because it's best to be proactive rather than reactive and chasing one problem after another, or you end up on a constant rollercoaster. Where do you think that will leave you? No good for yourself, your children, or your husband. You have told yourself a hundred times, "I can do this!" but honestly you cannot. You are not superwoman, and there's nothing worse than the let down of feeling like a failure. On top of that, hubby doesn't need you complaining all the time. He knows just like you that it isn't his fault, so what do you expect him to be able to do about it? He doesn't need the added pressure any more than you do. And just to scare you, you might as well select right now the gutter you choose to drive your marriage into. The way to head things off is everything you think of to make life easier for both of you. That means getting over any embarrassment and calling someone to help out. Do it now. What is the point in waiting? For the house to get dirtier? For the laundry to pile up higher? For a few other things to break and not get fixed? You need a wife and there is NOOOO shame in that game. Please do it now. You'll be so better able to free your mind and really organize things the way you want them. You'll be able to think straight and feel better much more often. Yes, you'll still miss hubby, but think of the time you can spend with him when he is able to be home, rather than issuing chores for him to do and once again he's not able to get around to them. Just imagine being able to spend time together without you worrying about the floors needing a mop. You knew this would be difficult, but who said there are no areas in your life you can make easier. Decide what you're willing/able to spend each week. But don't go looking for someone at their price. Look for someone to come in at your price. If that is $100, then find someone willing to come in twice a week for $50 a day. That might be 4 or 5 hours a day, which $10 an hour sounds fair to me. If you can only manage 60 or 80 dollars, for example, have someone once a week to stay the day. There are service centers around here that come for an initial $25. They charge for labor and parts, but the 25 bucks is included if you tell them to go ahead and do the job. Find service centers in your area. Most things don't cost very much to repair. You will have to do it. The emotional ups and downs are not worth your well being or your marriage. Let us know how things turn out.

DH has had talks with her but on the day to day stuff... most of it he doesn't see, but when he's right there... I don't think he is paying attention at all, kinda like with the bread. He's oblivious to when she is being rude & later when I mention it to him, he'll agree that she shouldn't do this or that but he didn't really notice. Very rarely, he'll say it's not that big a deal. DH & I had a long, drawn out conversation/almost argument last week because a few weeks ago... before Thanksgiving time, I noticed my netbook that I keep in my car for work had a damaged screen. It looked as if something smashed it & the screen had a splotch on it. It wasn't cracked, just a portion of the screen was discolored. Well, sometimes SD rides in the front seat next to where I keep it (between the seats, under the console) I couldn't imagine how else it was damaged, except SD stepped on it, sat on it or pressed really hard on it... but she would have to take it out of the console because it's not where she could accidentally touch it. I was angry but I figured if she did it on purpose, telling her I was angry would only satisfy her so I gave it to my DD & bought a new one. In December I put a DVD system in the backseat. There are two screens on the headrests for each side. Last weekend, I was cleaning my car & right in the center of the screen that is on the side where SD sits is a huge thumb/palm? print. It looks like someone pressed into the middle of the screen. Nobody rides in the car except me, SD & DGS2 in his car seat. He can't reach either of the screens. Also, the last time I detailed my car, there was ink scribbled on the leather door panel where SD sits. Again, I said nothing because it is obvious to me that SD is doing stuff on purpose to my car & whenever I have confronted her, she denies doing anything. She gets this I'm so innocent look & how dare I accuse her of anything. Crap! I'd rather her tell me she hates me & is glad she did it but no matter what, she denies it, then tells everyone how awful I am for accusing her of something she didn't do. I have no proof it's her but common sense & I don't want her to see me get upset because I feel like that's what she wants. So, finally this last time I went to DH & told him I don't want her in my car anymore... he wanted me to have a talk with her but like I said, how do you talk to someone that says she didn't do it, doesn't have a clue how it happened, etc. So, he got upset with me & started trying to make excuses for her. Finally he admitted he doesn't know what to do about her but he works in another town & rides the bus to my office so she has to ride home with me. So, I know DH needs to address the problem & yes, he is a mild mannered good guy that just wants to do the right thing & live in peace. He wants to go to work, pay the bills, come home to his family & enjoy the evening. I don't think he thinks about, nor is he worried about what she will be like when she's a teen, maybe because he's a guy & has no clue about girls/daughters... or he hopes things will just fall into place. I don't think he realizes how serious her problems are or he just has no clue about how to fix them. As the on site female, I tried to give my input but as we can see, that has been rejected & backfired. At the moment, I'm looking forward to summer when she'll be with her mom & only here for weekends. I plan to be gone and/or busy with DGS or work. I feel guilty for feeling that way but I can't stand how it is. Just this morning, I get up & go to the baby's room which is next to hers. She was in the livingroom & heard me coming, ran back to her room. I get the baby up & bring him to my room so I can finish getting ready while he watches his favorite show. DH goes into the kitchen, SD comes out & is talking to him. I get done getting ready & come down the hall, her bedroom door closes because she hurried back to her room. Last night, I was cooking dinner & playing Wii with DH. SD is watching us. I leave the room to check on dinner & she starts talking to him. I come back & she doesn't talk. I leave again, same thing. It's just very annoying!