Lets not forget that vacations are also much more liberal there too. My husband is from Europe and when he came here to live, he was shocked to see that we only get an average of 2 weeks vacation. In Russia, the minimum was 4 weeks and in Sweden they get 5! I would say do what's right for you and your family first. If DH can (and wants) to go on his own during his business trip, great but if not, then that is a huge amount of money to spend for one night and a lot for your in-laws to expect from you and your husband. After all, MIL wasn't willing to pay for it once she saw how much it cost, why should she expect you to? It's not reasonable. I have to add that last January, my mother also turned 80 and also wanted all the family together for her special day. She's in California so a lot closer but we're in Michigan and I have a sister in Texas. Rather than put any of us on the spot, she paid for all of us (7 total) to fly to California to celebrate her day. On her 75th birthday, we missed a surprise party the sisters in California gave her. Once I said we couldn't afford it, she was very understanding, more so than my sisters were. :c) So I've sort of been in those shoes and can totally understand the duress you're feeling; I hope it ends well and they finally understand your side of things. If not, ask them if they'd be willing to split the bill with you so you can afford to go. When I said that to one of my sisters, she backed off fairly quick. :c)

oh gosh, I sure have been there! I got married in France in 1999. Attendees: Myself, my husband, my sister, her husband. (even her three kids, whom I adore, were not included). Yes, there was hurt. No one acted as expected (people who I thought would be supportive were hurt and upset, people who I thought would be uspet shrugged.) But we were "older", 30 and 38 when we got married, and I did what I wanted. My only advice, act firm, and state ad nauseum these are your wishes, ask people to please respect them, no negotiation, and know that people will be hurtful nonetheless but still love you anyway. It just brings out the best and worst in all of us, brides included. I also had a party a month after I got back, and guess what!! I got to wear the dress TWICE!! That was awesome. :) Some people did state that they would boycott the party since they weren't included in the wedding (family, can you believe it??) but everyone came anyway. The party had a cake, but no ceremony, or cake cutting, or nothing wedding-y except my dress, LOL. I printed out our vows and our custom written ceremony and put them in frames on the dinner tables, and had our wedding pictures on display for all guests to see them. I had dinner and dancing and actually enjoyed it a lot more than if it were my wedding day. It's 7 years later, and I have to warn you, the hurt people still barb me about it. Also, everyone thinks our anniversary is the party date, which is funny. BUT, I had an incredible dream wedding, on a hotel balcony overlooking a sparkling mediterranean sea on a tuesday afternoon. Very spiritual and intimate, and it was PERFECT. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I love telling the story of my wedding, it was so romantic and special. I do remember the anxiety and the surprise at how complicated even the simplest wedding can be. Bon courage, remember whose wedding it is, and keep us posted!

Is this your first trip to Paris and or London? If you have three weeks, I would certainly plan to do more than Paris, especially if I had not been to Europe before and was not a frequent traveller ... you can do a lot comfortably in three weeks. Let me start off by saying though, I really would not go to Paris in April. My first trip as a "grown up" was April in Paris, and I just assumed it was a good time ago (isn't there a famous song?). The song is probably just because the guy needed two syllables. April in Paris is usually cold and rainy. I have been there a dozen times on business and 4 times for pleasure, and I much prefer June or September. I totally understand the spring break timing. I am confronted with that every year too ... it seems you either go skiiing, go to the beach, or you have to go somewhere off season. Drives me crazy. But I truly believe April is suboptimal, and I had to say that upfront. One of the best things about Paris is just strolling about, and it is much nicer if it is green and pleasant. If this is a once in a lifetime trip, I'd do it in June. One of my favorite places in the world is the Bagatelle, a small tulip garden in the Bois du Bologne. In April it will be barren. So will Giverny, a great day trip to Monet's home. Okay so I have said my piece on that and will desist! The Georges V on the right bank is steps from the Arc de Triomphe and Champs Elyssees. Over the years it had been flagged as a few different brands, but it is currently a Four Seasons. I tended to stay there on business, and while it is excellent, it is not my first choice for leisure. I don't really like the Champs Elysee ... it has large, modern stores on that section .. and I would much rather be based on the left bank for leisure. My fave is La Lutetia, but I just looked it up and it is closed for renovations. I also like the Hotel Montalambert and Relais Christine, both left bank. Do note that both cities are very pricey as I am sure you know. Moreover, unlike American brands, rooms are typically very very small and often cannot accommodate a third person. Lastly, try to be very specific about the actual room and get photos. Many hotels are in older buildings and the rooms are anything but cookie cutter. One person can have a fabulous charming room and the other a dump. But in my mind it feels much more Parisian to stay in an old building! So keep that in mind when looking into alternates. As far as an itinerary, I would try to take the full three weeks so as to maximize the bang for your buck on flying over there. BTW I just read about a new all business class airline into Paris that, for business class, is quite reasonable. If you don't want to spring for a flat bed seat, fly during the day, land at night, and get right on the local schedule. Avoid caffeine, drink lots of water, get sun and exercise and you won't have any jet lag. I would consider flying into London (frankly between Gatwick and LHR there are so many flights and carriers that you can usually get the best deals). I would consider excursions to Stonehenge and Bath. Then I'd take the Chunnel to Paris. No one needs to tell you what to see in Paris! Outside of Paris I'd consider train trips to Versailles of course, and maybe to Chartres to see the famous cathedral and have dinner. If you are going a full three weeks, I might throw in Belgium and do an open jaw, flying into one city and out of a different one. I like the Hop on Hop off buses, tacky though they are, because they give you a quick lay of the the land. I usually research the "36 hours in" or "three perfect days in" articles in advance, to get ideas about what Id like to do. These are from the NY Times and periodicals so more timely than guidebooks.

The nothern Ca coast is perfect for a road trip, with many sights along the way. To make it easy on yourself, fly into the small Santa Barbara airport(if possible), and rent a car from there. Santa Barbara itself is a lovely, wonderful, bustling little village with plenty of shops, great food, the pier, and of course the magnificent beach! Oh, and USB is right on the ocean. You'll only be about an hour(a gorgeoous drive!)from San Simeon where Hearst Castle is located, but you would need to book your tours online beforehand~we dId two, one after the other, but don't recall which. I swear the views from the estate are a look into heaven! You will also be close to San Luis Obispo, a great little village with a ban of fast food chains. There's a tree~lined street you can't miss, which is reminiscent of a scene out of Gone With the Wind with the mighty Oaks and also the college with it's gorgeous grounds. I can't remember how far you will be from Solvang, but it's a short drive and well worth seeing this bit of Sweden-in-America! Monticeido and Summerland, are other small villages worthy of a bit of time, and close to each other. As an aside, i'm also somewhat of a 'food snob' and was happy to learn the majority of the small restaurants along the way have their own organic gardens and if not, the produce is bought locally from organic farmers/farmers markets. It's definitely a trip i'm planning to do again, and will take in Monterey and Carmel, possibly as far as San Fran/Sausilito. As for San Diego, I lived there for 27 years before moving to Austin, and it can get crazy on the freeways. Parking places at the beach are rare, restaurants can be a 2 hour wait, and if there's a baseball game, traffic can be at a standstill in every direction. The Del Mar Fair is in late June ending on July 4th, but two weeks later horse racing season starts~all this creates more traffic, etc in SD. Just a heads up, as it can become frustrating(and overwhelming!)and may be more than you bargained for. Just something to keep in mind if you plan a visit. Looking forward to your decision. You've been given some great ideas!