These are some of the things I like to do when we have the family down. Cover the outdoor tables with quilts, or unfinished quilt tops. (If you don't sew, unfinished quilt tops can be picked up inexpensively; use them for a tablecloth in the summer at your party, and later, you can have them finished as quilts/comforters to give at Christmas.) I use wildflowers or whatever is blooming in the yard for informal arrangements in mason jars, and galvanized washtubs with ice to hold drinks, also fruits like apples for snacks, or watermelon. Bushel baskets are also good to have on hand; put pots of blooimg flowers in them for decor, or set one on the table to corral packages of buns. As far as entertainment, I've found that if the kids are amused, the adults will have a wonderful time as well, even if they don't get out and engage in the planned activities. Goat races sound like fun! Have plenty of helpers; someone can hold them at the starting gate and someone to make sure they get caught at the finish line. have some neutral area set aside for the races; you don't want any of the contestents bolting and taking out the buffet. VBG We raise dairy goats and sheep, and for the most part, either one in the yard is a huge No No. I've found it takes about 60 seconds for a goat or sheep get away from someone, rush over and strip all the flowers off some prized shrub (ACK!!), not to mention that some ornamental plants might be poisonious. I have a bowl of apple, orange, and banana peels handy for people to feed them over the fence as a treat, which people thinkis interesting. If we have any bottle babies, they can come in the yard briefly to amuse small children, but once they've eaten, been duly petted and admired, and maybe had their picture made with the guests, they go back out where they can stay out of trouble. If you raise chickens, I've found that children are fascinated by collecting eggs. Have extra egg cartons on hand so they can take "their" eggs home, and, if you expect very many kids, you might want to have extra eggs that you can sneak out to the hen house so everyone can "find" at least a half dozen. You might find that some of the older guests will want to tag along, just because it reminds them of when they were young and had to collect eggs as part of their daily chores. (have extra eggs for them too) You could have egg relay races; divide everyone into teams and give each one a spoon. Each team gets one raw egg they are supposed to hand carry in the spoon to destination X, then turn around and take back to the team, successfully hand off to the next person. Have extra eggs available for this too, as it would be a shame for one team to have to drop out if they break an egg. ;^) We have a pond, so one or two of the adults usually volunteers to take the kids fishing. Perfect for creating those Happy Family Memories, even if they don't catch anything. If you don't have fish, give them clean plastic peanut butter jars and let them look for frogs and tadpoles. (to be released back into the pond) and if you don't have a pond at all, send them out to hunt grasshoppers. (to be disposed of at the chicken house) Even a plain old nature walk is a neat idea; make your "trail" wander in and out of as many different kinds of terrain as you have; woods, field, around the pond, through the goat pen, explore the barn. The point is, it's all a different world from what most people know. Homemade ice cream to go with the birthday cake. The anticipation is the best part, especially if it's a hand cranked and all the kids can take a turn at "cooking". Oh, and don't forget to set aside an area for photos with the most picturesque, unobstructed view on your place. Remember, most people can get a photo of themselves standing next to a house or garage at home; you have wide open spaces for a background. Set a bench with a couple of baskets of flowers around that. Make sure there isn't distracting with telephone poles, overhead wires, or branches close enough to look like they're growing out of someone's head in thepicture. If you have a really nice barn, set people up far enough in front that you can see the barn in the background off to one side, without giving them the "mug shot" look of being posed against a blank wall. If possible, keep it not too far from where the pony or goats will be, as some people might one or both in the picture. Throughout the day, get each family group together to pose for a picture. (Also a nice gift later) Hope these give you some ideas, good luck with the party. :^)

Thanks for your comments, everyone. I have been going non-stop since I posted this, with 2 soccer games, a baby shower and a kid's birthday party on Saturday, and my son's First Communion and ensuing party on Sunday. Thankfully, my in-laws made the ham and a fantastic lasagna, along with eggplant fritters for the party yesterday. I made a ceaser salad with homemade ceaser dressing, Sol's honey rolls, shrimp cocktail, pineapple upside down cake and Amish Friendship bread. My mom made insalata caprese and a blackberry cobbler. And I purchased frozen Torta Stella from Costco as an additional appetizer. We had 17 adults and 4 kids. Everything turned out so tasty. Nothing quite like a homemade lasagna from an Italian mother-in-law. And when I get her recipe for those eggplant fritters, I'll be sure to share. They were inhaled! Nancy

Rail fence pattern leaves only a small strip to write on. If you want messages and best wishes, you might want to consider larger plain squares offset with colored squares and sashing. For fastest results, you can always send each a square of plain fabric and a Pigma pen and have them just write on it and send it back. If you do this, iron freezer paper to the back to stabilize it for the writing part, to be removed by you before the sewing. They also make fabric with a stabilizer on the back that you can run through a computer printer. You can scan the messages and reduce or enlarge each to fit on a fabric square and trim it to size, such as 8 x 8". The hardest part will be to get all the messages back from friends by your deadline. Set the deadline early to give yourself lots of time. Check your LQS for photo fabric. If they don't have it, go to a website such as this and order it. Here is a link that might be useful: photo fabric sheets

A lot of his behavior reminds me of my step daughter. The ignoring my presence, contanstanly on the phone with BM. Inappropriate for her age cuddling with BM. No younger kids to torment at home, but she would torment her older brother (untill he started smacking her - which he was punished for) Then she would choose kids at school she could boss around. Bullying behavior. She also was pretty flagrant at manipulating her father. He was clueless, unless I pointed out her plans. Same thing with BM. No rules at her house, free reign, but also too busy with current boyfriend to give attention to her. We always punished her, both of us, although mine had to be backed up by DH, before she'd be subject to it. She wouldn't respond to any punishment. Take away everything she loves in her room. She only sit on her bed with this scowl on her face. No crying. No apology. Nothing. I thought something was seriously wrong. She finally came around at about 10 & 1/2. Something happened where she was getting in trouble and involved her friend. The friend ended up getting slightly hurt. The friend was crying wanted to go home, so I packer SD & friend in my car to drive her home. The friend was really worried that her parents would punish her as well. I talk to her parents explained the circumstances, and drove SD back. That was the very first time SD cried in anticipation of punishment from her father that would be waiting for her. She still make irresponsible, stupid mistakes, but is more understanding as to why it's wrong and punishment is to make her remember to never do it again. But in our case BM has only seen her daughter maybe 4 -5 weekends a year for the last 5 years. Just because she makes no real effort to see her more than that. Although makes up a million excuses for why to SD. Which was another issue in that SD thought it all right to lie. He mother does it, why not her. She felt closer to her mother by sharing the need to lie about everything. She still when cornered will tell a lie first, even though its an obvious lie. She still is unclear that lying ontop of an existing infraction, is way worse. You DH needs to establish his role in you household heiarchy. His role is to obey his father AND you. His role is to support his half-siblings. His role is to not be a bully. The more he acts up, the more stingent his life is at your house. Don't bring up BM or his life there with him. That is not under your control and he's old enough to know what house he's at. Good luck.