Need Wife/Ex-Wife Advice
My ex left me about 10 years ago for someone else. I eventually met someone and remarried. The relationship between the two women is not good. Consequently, there isn't much communication between them. My wife sometimes decides she wants to be equally involved in communication with my ex, but from my standpoint, it is so unhealthy and volatile that it isn't good for the kids.
I'd love advice on this. My daughter asked if she can take an old piece of sporting equipment that is her stepsisters, to use in her sport once, a sport that her Mom signed her up for. Before I could say "sure", my wife told my daughter to let her Mom know that she could borrow, but it needs to be her Mom that calls to request it, since it is her that would have had to pay for this piece of equipment. Myself and my ex each handle some of the non-extraordinary sports expenses.
The problem I'm having, is that my ex found it silly that she would have to call to ask for something that exists in this house where my daughter lives 50% of the time, when the kids regularly take things back and forth between houses. My wife is highly annoyed that my ex would not make this call or email, and told my kids she is disappointed. I always try and rise above anythink that the ex does that annoys me, and just do what is right for the kids, so in this case, I'd just let my daughter take something from here (that I contribute $$ towards anyway), and not put her in the middle as a messenger. The issue my wife has is that we pay my ex lots of $$ so she feels like she should be forced to buy this item that would be used only once.
Sorry if this is confusing, but I just need an unbiased opinion as to whether it is reasonable to ask for a phone call from my ex to officially request borrowing something, or should it have been a simple thing where we simply make it right for my daughter. That is always my approach, because I feel it isn't worth making an issue out of. I am feeling lately like my wife and I need to attend counselling to discuss these sorts of things, because the dynamic involving my ex is quite prominent in our household, and my wife doesn't like that I suck it up alot for the sake of the kids and pick my battles carefully - she tends to want to fight back when these things come up.
I know this probably seems like a minor issue, but it is one of many similar and they are getting to me - I just want to focus on what we can control in our home and be happy.