Sorry I missed this last night ajsmama. Our daughter called and told me about the young Airman that lost his legs because of an accident during surgery that cut his aorta. Gosh, it just makes me litterally sick thinking about it. I had to get offline and be with my hubby.

Anyway, things are looking great! If I'm not to late saying this, have you thought about making a hollow newel post with one by fours (or in real life...3/4 by 3.5s)oak lumber?

That's a neat chair. I've never seen one like it. What about trying a stain pen on the filler before you decide to paint? Or if going darker maybe a Sharpie in brown.

Again, sorry I'm so late getting to this. I don't watch the news because I take it all to heart. I'm sitting here crying right now thinking about that young man, his family and the medical staff involved. My heart breaks for them all.

~Becky

Oh, I didn't hear about that. I'm a few days behind with the WSJ, and I rarely watch TV. My sister got to my house with her DD about 11:30 last night. TV news is too sensational and depressing anyway.

So sad that there was an accident during surgery that cut off blood supply. Too many soldiers are dying and being maimed as it is, but to have it happen while being treated for something else...

We thought about making a newel post but it would be less $ to order one - I just ordered two (one for each side) Amish-made red oak $66 each, though DD likes the cedar. My mom said it adds that "rustic touch" LOL.

I was wondering where you were b/c you're usually on late (or late for me), I was up waiting for DH to get home from airport with sis and DN. I hate to sound callous, but you have to let some things go. I'll look online and see if there is a charity for this young man, but there are so many and you can't let your heart break for them all, and you can't let it break your bank either. Just this AM I got a call from a reservation in SD looking for donations for hungry native Americans, but we already are Partners in Hope for St. Jude (*That* breaks my heart every year listening to the telethon on the radio), and donate to Race for the Cure and MD and there are just so many, how do you draw the line?

Gosh, I never would have though a solid one would be less than making your own. I guess it pays to check everything out before you do someting. That's how we work here too.

I'm in therapy for post tramatic stress disorder and depression. Doing quite well in the depression and getting things done, but this really hit me. The PTSD started after our son came home from a year in Iraq. All hubby and I did was watch the news. Once our son was home little things and big things (such as the loss of life in Iraq) started me hyper ventilating. It didn't make sense. I was able to give our son into the Lord's care each morning and night and was "fine". Friends and coworkers couldn't believe how calm I was. Heck they were more nervous about Alex than I was. But when he came home safe I guess I felt guilty for having our son when others didn't. I've been fighting this ever since. I've always been this way about watching the news. If they'd only mix it with the many good things that happen I might be able to take it. My therapist told me it's normal to feel sad about the loss of those I knew and loved when something reminds me of them even years later. Even if it feels as bad as it did when I lost them. I'll have to remember to talk to her about this situation and how I feel.

St Jude is an awesome charity. They have one of, if not thee, lowest administrative costs in all charities. I think it's like eighty some percent that goes to the children and their care. For many charities it's the other way around. We are careful who we give to and do so anonymously.

Yes the cedar does give a rustic look, but I don't think taht's what you were going for. Am I correct? Your darling daughter is so cute it would hard not to follow her lead. Mabye you can make her something from it when you get the new posts.

Becky - now I know why it hit you so hard. I'm so happy that your Alex (my ds is Alex too) came home safely. How is *he* doing (PTSD?)?

We've given to St Jude for years, the stories always got to me, but since we had kids (and I lost our 1st DD - trisomy 18, not cancer) the ones without happy endings *really* get to me. I cry rivers each year during the telethon and hug DD all the time (Ds is too old for such mushy stuff). Breast cancer also runs in my family (both my mom's and my dad's) so we give to that.

AJ#2 (DD) has an entire swing set made out of the cedar. But for a while this AM I was thinking I could follow her recommendation and just put a corbel up to support the end of that rail (not a brass bracket, but a big oak carved corbel) LOL. But on the *other* side of the stairs I need to hide a gap b/t the tread and the wall so a matching newel and some caulk are required. I will see how it looks after the newels are up, I don't want to really close off the DR by putting a balustrade but we may have to - in fact, a balustrade on both sides wouldn't be a bad idea (my dad really has trouble with stairs - he hasn't been upstairs here since we built, just gave him a tour while under construction) but that would *really* close things in.

ajsmama, so now I know what the "A" stands for in ajsmama.
I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your first daughter at age 18. I just can't imagine. Our first daughter was still born and that took some time to realize she was a special gift. Our own little guardian angel.

I understand now why your daughter loves cedar. It reminds her of all the fun she has!

I like your idea of a corble on the one side. It will help keep it more open. Ours is wall all the way down on one side (backs to kitchen) and open on the other which is open to the main entry and Gentlemen's Parlor.

Our Alex is virtually unchanged by his experience. Just last Saturday his unit (though he's no longer in the Reserves) had a big get together to celebrate five years home. I can't believe it's been that long, but it has.

When he first came home he pretty much socialized only with his unit. He slowly worked his way back to his best friends from high school and youth group at church as did the other men, though many stayed in touch. There was such a bond between the men in his unit, I believe they all needed each other for a time to adjust back to being in a world where the sound of blasts wasn't the norm.

About the only thing I really remember Alex having a hard time with was getting back to a normal sleep pattern and driving offensively. He drove an armored HumVee transporting prisoners from city to city and in a convoy from south Iraq to nothern Iraq and they were trained to not allow any other vehicle to cause them to go off the track of the military vehicle ahead of them because of land mines. As for sleep he was on duty for twelve hours and off for twelve hours. He rarely got to sleep right away since he'd been running on adrenalin while on duty and it was difficult to wind down.

I have to admit he's an amazing young man. Not perfect, but someone we're very pleased to call our son. He's a wonderful Daddy to his 19 month old son. Has a very secure job for one of the University hospitals in Omaha.

Hope is my angel too (if you ever see my photobucket login name). I miscarried her, she didn't die at age 18. She had trisomy 18 - chromosomal defect like Downs but if not mc/stillborn, babies don't live past a year.

So do Alex and his family live near you? I never realized you were a grandma. I hope to live long enough to see my grandkids since I am 35 yrs older than DS and 40 yrs older than DD. I hope you're young enough to enjoy keeping up with a toddler! I'll probably be too old to keep up even if my kids have kids when they're young. I already have trouble getting up off the floor if I lie down to play a board game - my lower back kills me after propping myself up on my elbows with my back bent for 30 minutes. I can still carry 50 lb bags of mortar and build stone walls, but I don't know how much longer I'll be able to pick DD up.

Oh, I'm sorry, I missunderstood. I hadn't heard of trisomy 18 before. I thought maybe her name was Trisomy and you just missed capitalizing it and wanted me to know it wasn't cancer since you give to St. Judes cancer patients. Just call it a Senior Moment. Though I'm not quite a senior yet.

I'm 53 and there was awhile where when our grandson did me in. I only have him once or twice a week. It alternates. I have high blood pressure and have never completely gotten back to my old self after my appendix ruptured in May of 2006. I'm slowling getting there though.

It's rough getting older isn't it? I'm working on eating better, but still have those things that I should eat as much of that I do.

Alex is living with us for now. Owen is here half time. He and his wife are separated. She lost her mom six months into the marriage of cancer. At the time she was three months along with Owen. Her mom said some things to her on her death bed that really messed our DIL up. Sad to say. We love her, but she's just not thinking on her won right now. They separated many times with her begging Alex back each time. This time he said he could do it to the boys again. She has an 8 year old son from a previous marriage.

I'd never heard of it before either, don't feel bad, and I did want you to know it wasn't cancer b/c of the St Jude reference. But anybody losing a child (esp. when he/she is *still* a child) just gets to me. I want DD to have her kids young (but not too young!) - if I had known that my mom had taken fertility drugs back in early 70's when she was 35 to have my brother, I would have started a family earlier, so I will be sure to tell my DD about the problems with egg quality as well as breast cancer in the family (I know, she has a lot to thank me for LOL).

Wow, a ruptured appy - you could have died! Were you really sick (infection) afterwards? Did you have high BP before? I have to watch what I eat better - I was getting chest pain beginning of year, went to dr they did EKG and Xrays, blood tests, couldn't find anything. I drink WAY too much coffee (doesn't help with the hot flashes either).

I'm sorry to hear about your DIL. Maybe she can get her head together soon (it's only been a couple of years since her mom died) and they can be a family together again. At least you get to see your grandson quite often. My DB (the one my mom had in 1972) is divorced, they live in another state, it's not like my parents got to see his kids often but now that they live with their mom and their dad has a tiny apartment, he has weekends only and half the holidays, my parents almost never get to see them. So they appreciate us being 10 miles away now, take DD all the time.

This week my other DB (a year younger than me), his DW, and my Dsister (adopted, the baby of the family) are here with their DDs (BIL will come out briefly next week, he is busy at work). My parents would love to have all their grandkids together at the same time, but since I'm the only one who lives in this state, it's hard to get us all together. My DD had a great time playing with both her younger cousins today. Even though my sister's DD lives in CA (and we don't talk as often as we used to), she and my DD are almost like sisters (2 years apart but almost the same size, vocabulary, and interests - DN is very precocious). The two of them are staying with us, DB and his family with my parents. DN fell asleep 7:30 our time, but just woke up (jet lag, 3 hr time difference thing, she must have felt it was a long nap) so sis just went up to bed with her.

Yeah, it's tough getting old(er). I'm worried people will think I'm DD's grandma b/c I'm getting more gray hair - have a "Bride of Frankenstein" streak starting like my mom and her mom (who died when she was 50). Though my cousin (the carpenter) says that I don't look my age b/c I've never been one to tan so don't wrinkle - only good thing about oily skin. He was here getting his tools this AM, ended up staying an hour visiting with my sister and then running back home to get his DD to play with our girls, he hung my blinds while they played, somehow we got talking about skin cancer and tanning and aging.

Wow, got really OT from decorating, didn't we? Think they'll move this thread? Here's a pic of the blinds just to get back on topic ;-) Still think I need a top treatment to tie the windows together?

{{gwi:1771263}}

Good night, sweet dreams.

ajsmama, I am so sorry about your miscarriage but it was for the best since the loss would have been more intense raising a child that may have not lived past a year. I am glad you have AJ#2. I have always wanted a daughter. I always love reading your posts and find you a very nice person. I finally did go with the Brazilian Cherry floors. Thanks for all your help. Now at least I know why your name is ajsmama since you are her mother.

Hi lynne2006! Thanks for the nice words. Alex is an AJ too (worked for a while not having to relabel handmedowns LOL).

You will love the BC floors. I haven't posted to your recent threads b/c I don't know anything about glue or BR-111. But be sure to post pics when you're done - I can't wait to see them.