Well sounds to me you are taking the wrong approach...this child needs help. If you can't handle it - leave it alone. He is still young and somewhere there is a problem. If you freak out, and it kinda sounds like you do, it will just get worse. If you want this marriage, you have to try and fix this boy. He is young, you just have to keep trying. My SS, at 14, would come over on weekends and you could hear him "satisfying" himself. I hit the roof...and his Dad took care of it. Now when a 6 yo (if this is true) is doing this...well I have never heard of boy this young acting out this way...you just can't freak out.

Cant freak out??? This behavior is extremely disturbing! I would totally freak out. Obviously something HAS been done to this child that was sexually inappropriate and that's why he's acting out this way. maybe it just hasnt come out in counseling yet. This boy needs serious help right away before he ends up in juvinile hall or worse. What if he seriously hurts another child? If he HAD gotten his way with that 3 year old boy,this would be a whole different story.It would be more about putting him away in a mental facility.
Please,I urge you to make his father get this boy more help.Dont either of you ignore this.

I would also think twice before seriously considering to marry this man.

It is absolutely true ... I couldn't make up something like this!

On occassion when the mom has taken him, she has the boy sleep with her boyfriends kids and her other kid. So that's 2 boys, and one girl ... 4 kids total in one bedroom. The 10 year old girl has an older sister that has been molested.

The mom has also allowed the boy to be babysat by a woman who's oldest son has been tetered for sex with a minor.

We found this all out in counseling.

Yet, the mom thinks we are all over-reacting! Give me a break! How can you not?

I'm scared to death to let this kid alone with any kid! Since nothing has come out yet, my anger grows towards this kid thinking he's just a little pervert and not a victim.

Please set your anger and disgust aside and look at this little boy-he is a victim. He needs help, stop and think about what has happened to him to make him behave this way. Have you or his dad called Child Protective Services? His mother should be turned into them. Please, if you want to walk away from this situation, (this is a really tough one)tell SOMEONE that can help this poor boy. I understand that you may not want to be the one to help him, but knowing what you know about what is (possibly, most likely) going on, please don't just walk away without doing all you can to get help for him. Can you go to his Grandparents, Aunt, Uncle, school counselor? Is he still in counseling? I do understand that his behavior is upsetting and making you crazy, but if it makes you, as an adult, feel like drowning, think of how he, as a child must feel. Please don't give up on him. Keep us posted.

I should clarify....yes I would probably freak out as well...it just threw me back the way you said it! I definitely agree with the others....get that child out of his mom's care. I feel like with intense therapy he can be helped - since such a young age.

I agree with jenkins that CPS should be called, if they haven't already. The mother is an enabler of his behavior and if she continues to believe nothing is wrong, the boy will never get the help he needs. I'd get a good attorney and petition the court for supervised visits between the mother & boy and NOT stop fighting for them until the court appoints supervised visits in a neutral place by a neutral party.

I would like to know though, why you are still considering marrying this man if you feel nothing but anger and disgust towards the child. Clearly, this situation will make anyone normal human being wince and feel what you have because it's abnormal and morally incorrect. But do you really think that marrying his dad will make those feelings go away? The boy isn't going to go away either just because you marry his dad. If you really have been reading posts on this board, then you probably know by now that most people who enter marriages on not the best of terms, such as yours, do not get any better. Most often, they get worse. And you already have a biological mother in denial who refuses to believe that her child has the potential of causing serious harm to another human being then exposes him to more situations that will encourage improper behavior. Are you really willing to deal with this day in and day out?

Also, you never mentioned if you and his father would want children of your own when or if you marry. Could you honestly expose your child to this boy knowing that he may try to cause harm to that baby?

they had stopped counseling for about 2 months, then he said something that bothered me and we went back .. i went with them for the first time. i told the counseler that i was very mad that nothing came of this and to just drop it. Apparently that made the counseler take action and child protective services has been called (just this week). They are doing an investigation of the mom right now.

I also am going to start counseling to see if i can rid myself of my bad feelings towards the kid. I would not marry him if I feel like this, that is why I know I need to see a shrink. So I'm hoping this will help me somehow because I do love this man dearly.

Also, yes I do want my own child. I have thought about every senario of horrible things that could happen between the kids if I had my own. I wouldn't ever want this boy to be alone with my child. I also hope that since he is already 7 that he is so much older than when I would have a baby that nothing would happen.

And the kid is in counseling so I hope that would help put an end to his behavior.

I would urge you,that even if this boy gets help and seems fine years later,to NEVER leave him alone with your own child.

My cousin was molested by an uncle.At 14 he became my baby-sitter,and then molested me and my sister. After something like this happens,you are never the same.It destroys a child's innocence,and can effect them for LIFE.
I,in turn,am so paranoid about this happening to my own daughter,that I have NEVER,in 9 years left her with ANY sitter.I have had to put my entire life on hold to be a stay at home mom,but I would rather do that then ever know that the same thing happend to her because of me.
It happens ALL the time,people just dont talk about it.You HAVE to be the one to protect your child.
I feel sorry for this little boy because is mom didnt protect him from this.

I'm glad to hear he has ressumed counseling.It's the only way to help him work on the issues and learn that it is wrong what happend.I'd push the dad to keep the son away from the mother...since she seems to think it is not a real problem,and it could be HER fault it happend in the first place.

Good for you! I'm glad CPS is involved now. I just hope they intervene for the child's sake. I hope the boy's psychologist sticks with him and is able to provide him with treatment.

I also hope through counseling you find the answers you are searching for and some peace of mind as well. You surely deserve to have both!