Ya Ya, I just saw this. Even though I begged Spike to start this forum, I just haven't had the time to visit it as often as before. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your best friend. I do know that sometimes grief has a way of getting worse as time goes on. Many people think that it always gets better, but that is not always the case. Many times, it gets worse, and then better. I think at first, it is our body's defense mechanism which protects us and allows the grief and sense of loss to creep in gradually. I think we eventually get to a peak and then gradually "accept" (I don't like that word) or "surrender" as I call it, and then feel better as time goes by. I hope that you will find peace and always remember that you will see your loved ones again. Think of them as being on a long, wonderful vacation and you will meet them later on. That's what I try to do with my loss of Christin and my mom. I miss all of you at the Kitchen Table. Maybe I'll try to start visiting more often. Love, Lu Here is a link that might be useful: Christin Cosby Memorial Website

I wonder if your house had my plumber -- or at least a cousin. Hope things have calmed down for you, but I understand the feeling of one thing after another and fearing what's next. Had I known ten years ago what I know now, I would have pulled all the sheetrock in my house and run new plumbing. But that still wouldn't have found or fixed the section of main drain line that was under the slab -- neither end of it secured to anything. Just lying there. Leaking. Filling in with dirt. Waiting to back up sewage into our bathtub and shower. Just managed to stop it before it ran onto the floor and into our carpeted closet. Was apparently left that way by the original plumber and took nearly 19 years to create a blockage that couldn't be cleared by more conventional methods and led us to ripping out cabinets and jack hammering the slab to find it. This summer, several years later, I walked into our bedroom and heard water running in the bathroom. But DH was sleeping in the bed. I turned on the light and saw sewage coming from the ceiling. Fortunately, it fell mostly into my tub. My brother was in town, so the next morning, we started ripping out sheetrock and discovered that the plumber had run the water heater overflow into the main drain line by installing a T junction just past the toilet -- where any paper or solids could catch and create clogs -- then backing up into the water heater pan. The toilet had clogged and my DB and SIL had plunged it. The pressure caused the muck to come out through the junctions in the pipe and through my ceiling. We also found a leak at the upstairs tub drain while we had the ceiling open. When we did our kitchen, we knew we had a leak in the wall behind my pantry and had turned off the water at the sink above until we ripped things out to fix it. While we had that wall and the ceiling open, we found 3 or 4 more "minor" leaks waiting to create major problems. I am not considering the expense of installing tankless water heaters so I don't have a tank to flood. Won't eliminate all the issues, but I still like the idea. My water heaters are 10 years old, so the time is coming to replace anyway. Might as well invest in staying here. The sales disclosures will require us to list all these things and I'm afraid no one would ever buy the house.

I guess I should have explained better. The neighborhood has gone seriously downhill since the housing collapse. I had equity once but now owe twice what its worth. Anyway we are the stepchildren of the city, crime is going up and the residents don't take an interest, for the most part. The whole thing has turned into a nightmare really but to make a long story short I can expect no help from the city, been there and done that. The neighbor's yard is huge and this sedge has had years to get well entrenched - if that doesn't get me then the crabgrass will. I used to hoe like crazy this stuff out but then the crabgrass moved into the bare ground, its amazing how that stuff can move a foot or so a night in expanding. Anyway on account of the financial thing I have very little funds to work with and so sodding is out of the question. My neighbors are very unpleasant people so no I don't talk to them. I wish I could move my house and my garden somewhere else, its a simple house but I've done tons of work in landscaping and added a nice big covered patio. If I move I'll never be able to afford another place - it will be to an apartment with a postage stamp deck and I live for summer and my garden. You know if it wasn't for the mud thing I'd almost so OKAY I give up - I don't care what grows here as long as its ground cover so I can quit with the mud tracking in the house. Its really, I guess, a no-win situation. I could get rid of my dogs that would solve the mud problem but I was brought up in a different age/mentality I guess where the person who was screwing up was the one who had to change, now I find myself constantly lowering my standards - and why should I have to lose my dogs, not fair to them for sure. I have puzzled over this and all it does is depress me. The way it is my garden is where I spend most of my time and as long as I don't have to go out into the neighborhood I love it there with my birds and squirrels and flowers and stuff, but the outside keeps working its way in. My children, lke I said, are frustrated with me because grass is not high on their list. It's like they take good care of their cars so how would they like it if their car was always muddy even though they just cleaned it - that might get thru to them better. But the city and my kids and the neighbors have come to an agreement - I'm the problem. Because I want a nice garden. I'm getting depressed thinking of it. As for the tilling, I really didn't mean tilling, I think it just said work it into the ground so that what's down there but not emerged gets exposed to the chemicals. i will try to found more information or find someone in the business who knows, it all gets confused in my mind. I did put down annual grass in the spring and it took over fast but died about July and then I was back to the bare ground. The problem in the fall is that I have lots of trees and about the time its time to do the seeding the leaves start falling and smother any new growth or make it so I can't water. I can't rake the leaves away because the grass seed would go with it. I have spent a fortune on water and seed and I have the ugliest yard to show for it. Maybe I will just put the sedge down I think it said a month before you put down seed and see what happens and if it doesn't work then I either need to adapt / or move. I did try out front putting down some ground cover which survived but it would be very expensive and take years. I dunno. I dunno but thanks for your suggestions I will read again later when I'm not so discouraged. All I want for Christmas is to know I will have my lawn back in spring.

If you can change both fan and dining light, then I would have them complement. No recessed lights in the living room? If you must have the fan, then something that hugs the ceiling with a flush mount light too but have primary lighting with an arched lamp and other lamps. Something with silver metal for dining light would complement the kitchen stainless steel/chrome. The type of lighting depends on your style. Same for window fabrics and coloring. You have a neutral background everywhere- what are your favorite colors? Is there a rug in LR with color?