My dad did the door thing to my sister... priceless!!!!

and not a word was said.

I don't want my kids going to a school where they are scared of the teacher. That was one of the catalysts for homeschooling her.

theotherside, I wasn't scared of the teacher or anyone else. My parents taught me to behave. I was more scared of what my parents would do (would they spank me? would I get that look of disappointment? Would I upset them?) if I did something wrong. I will never know if my parents would spank me, I was a quiet kid that did what I was told. I taught my kids to behave and I would have no problem with a teacher hanging a paddle on the wall to give them something to think about. It's usually the kids that aren't well behaved or cause trouble that really have the fear. They know they are going to misbehave and get in trouble so they worry about the consequences. It's like I tell my sons now that they are becoming men, if you take care of business and do what you are supposed to do, you won't have to worry about things like the police. If you are always doing something that you can get in trouble over, you will always be looking over your shoulder for the cops. When you pass one on the street, you will worry they are going to stop you. But you should have nothing to worry about if you don't do anything for them to stop you for. I think it's the same concept, if your kids are well behaved, why would they be scared of a teacher?

My daughter was very quiet and well-behaved in school, but the fact that the teacher was allowed to even consider hitting children, and even worse assaulting children with a paddle, was scary for her. Of course you can be scared of the potential for violence, even if it is unlikely to be directed at you personally.

I was quiet and well behaved in school. I got hit with the ruler twice, though, both by the same teacher.

THe first time...the first day of school. Miss James ( forty year old spinster with no children teacher) hit me twenty times because I failed to follow instructions on the colour sheet she gave me. I coloured the little girls skin black instead of white, as per the instructions.

THe second time, I got the leather strap...for running in puddles at recess.

Neither of these did a darn thing to change my behaviour, which really was not bad in any way. BUT, it did make me hate that teacher.

I would never condone a teacher under any circumstances hitting a child. If that teacher doesnt have a better way of controlling than violence, what the heck is she or he doing in a classroom?

I dont agree with parents hitting either, but thats their business.

I never ask people in my real world if they spank their children. The reason is because I have absolutely no respect for anyone who spanks over the age of five or six. I know some people disagree with me, and its not my place to tell others how to run their families, so I prefer not to know about it. However, if I were the world ruler, I would certainly make the practice unacceptable.

Hitting someone who is old enough to reason only teaches that the strongest person wins, and the the only reason to obey is fear. Again, thats not why I want my children to obey. Obedience bought by fear is not a lasting lesson.

Kathline, I would only ask if your parents were contacted or gave permission for your teacher to hit you? Having an abusive teacher is unacceptable. I would never give a teacher or school free will to abuse a child, but that is not the same as hanging a paddle on the wall and letting the children believe it could be used. Using it for minor infractions is abusive and defeats the purpose. I would guess that your teacher wanted to make an example of you or was just plain mean & abusive (or both).

"Again, thats not why I want my children to obey. Obedience bought by fear is not a lasting lesson."

That is so true.

I will punish my son when he deserves it period. I do believe in spanking up to a certain age. After that its not effective. Taking things they like becomes more the punishment.
I willnot punish my SK. Its not my place. I will verbal tell them how i feel and then their Dad takes over from that point.
I did have an issue with Sd last weekend. She taught my son how to slap in the face while laughing about it. Well , he went and slapped my SS, his brother and it hurt. Then SD complained about what my son did. I point blank turned around in this specific case and said in front of her father , my DH and both SK that i will not spank or punish my son in that instance for the meer fact that she learnt him that behaviour when her father told her to stop . Caught her teachign him a second time in the car. I told her, you were laughing before about it, Is it funny now? She was shocked. The look on her face was in shock and then i said. No , you taught my son how to hit, now deal with the consequences. I will not punish him when he hits you.
I did punish him after word when he hit me in the face, he got it back and my husband did the same. Since then my son hasnt' hit. But what a lesson to learn!
Needless to say, she got huffy puffy and got her mom to pick her up the same night. She used other excuses to leave but i think she was caught in the act and learned her lessson the hard way.
I really hope for her sake that she does iron herself outcause from teh looks of it she will be alone, with no friends.
EIther way, we tried to teach them respect. I spoke with my SS after that and told him this is why its not funny to teach others to hit. Your sister was wrong in what she did and unfortunately you had to suffer for it. I said i was sorry for what my son did to him but it wasn't his fault. He's too young to know any better and i dont feel it was right to punish him.
My SD gets a rise when other kids are punished ( she smirks when her brother is punished as well) That is another reason why i didn't give her the satisfaction of that. My SS said he understood too well and that is when he admitted that his sister was nasty person and he was glad she left early to go home. ( Biomom and sis tried to convince him to leave but he refused, even after 3 phone calls)
Anyways... i believe in punishment to kids. They need boundaries and with boundaries learn respect for themselves and others. Even if at that point they dont understand and call us parents mean:)

LOl Ima, I am in my late forties. I went to school back in the dark ages, when hitting was quite common. They didnt need your parents permission back then. I am glad that is not the case now.

Yeah, most of my contemporaries still talk about the nuns hitting them with rulers for everything from throwing spitballs to poor handwriting. I am very grateful that neither I nor my kids had to experience that.

you know it is kind of funny... I can remember in middle school (which really wasnt that long ago) kids getting into trouble and having to go to the principals office... and they had the choice swats or calling mom and dad... Most of my friends (usually the boys ) would choose the swats rather than calling mom or dad... that way they wouldnt get into trouble at home. I never really got into trouble at school so I really couldnt imagine a perfect stranger really "swatting me" But, whatever to each their own :-)

I was in a store the other day and thought of this post. A boy, who looked to be about 7 or 8, was screaming and whining in the store. His mom was very loud about telling him to "shut his fuc*ing mouth" and yelling other obscene things at him. I was then in the restroom of the store and they walked in. As I was in the stall I heard them go into the handicapped stall and she was hitting him hard enough for me to hear. AS I was leaving the bathroom, and she was in the stall, I was a little upset by her actions. Though it was not my child, or business, I opened my mouth since she was still in the stall smacking him. I just said that perhaps beating a child was not the best approach, it may just make the child harder to handle. And I mentioned that some may consider what she was doing abuse. Then I walked out.

Wonder if she thought anything about what I said? OR if she just brushed it off as a nosey stranger who knew nothing. My heart did go out to that child.

You have control. I would have crawled under the stall door and stuck her head in the toilet. But then, I have been called impulsive a time or two, and I have a 7 year old boy. I can tell you sitting here that isn't the best move, but in the moment I would have reacted strongly. And I would have called CSD.

That poor boy.

And that right there is the difference between disciplining your child and just beating them. And who in the world would curse at a child like that. I can remember being at one of those all day outdoor concerts and there was this couple with a kid and the pops was drinking pretty much all day and had a stack of empty plastic cups that used to have beer all around him. Well,towards the end of the night apparently the kid had done something that he didnt like and he had the kid almost picked up in the air by his arm and was just repeatedly smacking the child. I couldnt stand it I jumped up and shouted hey what do you think your doing...as I started to walk over there. My boyfriend at the time thought I was going to get hurt interferring in someone else's business so he physically blocked me from walking over there... My bf and I ended up in a fight because of it... But, I just couldnt sit there and ignore someone doing that to a kid.

What is the difference, exactly, slapping your child and beating him? Where do you draw the line? Does it make any difference that it was in public (or semi-public, anyway)?

the difference is the repeated hitting and the abusive language on top of that... it makes no difference if it is in public or not. I have popped my dd's butt in public more than once when she was younger and we were having a tough time with her temper tantrums and climbing shelfs.

The difference between slapping and beating a child is the hardness of the hit and how many times you hit them. If you hit them once or twice that is discipline in my eyes (though I have rarely used that form of discipline). If you hit them over and over again for a few minutes I consider it abusive.

I think that many parents get so frustrated they resort to physically disciplining their children. At that point they are so angry they tend to go overboard. The lady in the bathroom was WAY OVERBOARD! Between her language in the store, and her long spank and hit session with her child I felt that poor child is being "overdisciplined". I have a feeling that if the mom was bold enough to do that in public she may be doing much worse at home!

There is nothing wrong with a swat on the butt for; danger situations (running in the street, hot stove, etc) or non-compliance (ie. I've put you in time out three times, you get up again I'll paint your back porch red).

I think most of us growing up had a certain healthy fear of our parents (which kids today seem to totally lack), we remember things like:

"I'll give you something to cry about"
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out"
"I can make another one just like you"
"Wait till your father gets home, you won't sit for a week"

A while back, I saw a woman at the Market pushing her cart out to her car and right behind her was a 5-7 year old boy throwing a gigantic tantrum complete with KICKING his mother repeatedly in the butt (he had to jump to do it, it was actually kind of hilarious) as she walked to the car. She was doing her best just to ignore him. I would have spanked him on the spot.

There is a difference with a swat on the butt and all out beating your children. Don't spank out of frustration, discipline is to teach a lesson other than 'Don't piss Mommy off'.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but all it takes is 'the look' from me and my kids usually fall in line. Funny thing is, I can only name a handful of times any of the kids has gotten 'the treatment'. I think its more of the fear that its a possibility than an actual consequence that works.

I have never heard anyone say anything like,

"I brought you into this world, I can take you out"
"I can make another one just like you"

I just read these to my son, and he said that if he heard threats like that, he would call the police.

Those are very disturbing statements.

Thank you theotherside for the excellent example of how children today have learned that all they have to do is pick up the phone and call the police or CPS.

I can just imagine your son's phone call...

Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
TOS's son: my mom just told me she can make another one like me? She just said she brought me into the world and can take me out.
Operator: Good, maybe you'll do what she wants you to or behave.
TOS's son: Oh, well do you have the number for CPS?

I mean, I doubt they will come with lights & siren for that call. It might give the dispatcher a good laugh.

Sieryn, I agree that a healthy dose of fear is good. I don't recall being spanked much. i remember a couple of spankings, which I knew I deserved. Back in the old days, 'the look' was enough. and I've heard every one of those 'threats'. Bill Cosby even had some of them in a routine he did years ago on parenting.

Today, many parents either ignore bad behavior (like the boy kicking his mom's butt) or they are too verbal. They spend way too much time yelling or verbalizing threats that they don't follow through with. You can't tell a child you are going to punish them and then not do it. I've seen parents say one thing and a short time later, give the child something to make them stop crying.

Lol are you serious? All the parents I knew growing up used to used these semi idol threats...maybe its a geographical thing.

Thanks Ima, I was beginning to feel like I entered a twilight zone o.o

Speaking of calling the police - A friend of mine has a 12 year old daughter who was being just a total brat (slamming doors, sassing etc) I witnessed the following:
--Daughter throwing a fit about not being able to do X
Mom: Keep it up, you're not too big to spank
Daughter: You spank me I'm going to call CPS
Mom: Go right ahead, and when they take you away because I'm so terrible you can go stay in a foster home and guess what? Your ipod, your clothes, your computer all that stays here, have fun staying in a group home cause I can bet you won't have your own room and your own bathroom either.
--Daughter quits arguing and returns to her room.

Perhaps it is a geographical thing, though neither of my parents came from the part of the country where I live, and they would never have said anything like that.

Perhaps I did not make clear what my son said. He said that if he heard someone threatening their child like that, HE, as an adult, would call the police. I am absolutely certain that the police in my town WOULD respond, and quite possibly arrest the person who made those threats.

I find those statements horrifying.

gosh TOS, you are so amusing...

I find those statements to be abusive and I would question the parenting skills of anyone who would demean and denigrate their own child in that fashion.

Well then I guess I, along with all my friends growing up, had horrible parents, our childhoods were SO awful that I don't know how we ended up as successful as we are now. Must be all that trauma channeled into a desire to achieve and succeed...
/sigh
In some cultures we wouldn't even be having this discussion over something so ridiculous as warning syntax. A dear friend of mine (who was raised in Egypt) well she had a habit of eating junk in the states, she'd go home for college break and her father would smack her with a stick if she was 'too fat' because gluttony is a sin. That is something you can question the parenting style on.

I've done it! I've actually fallen out of my chair laughing at TOS and KKNY this time. I guess it's a good thing no one knows me so that when I tell my kids I'm going to put them back under the rock I found them under they can't call CSD.

Really - the only time this could be anything but ridiculously funny if is the children had been given reason to believe their parents would do them harm.

My kids also ask if the parent store takes returns. I always tell them no, but they could be having a 2 for one special if they want more.

Wonder if I can turn THEM into CSD.

"I'm going to put them back under the rock I found them under"

LOL I like that one!

I see a huge difference between the statements,"I'm going to put you back to the parent store," and "I brought you into this world, I can take you out." Assuming the children are old enough to actually know where they came from, the first is obviously a joke. They know there is no such thing as a parent store. The second statement sounds like a specific threat to me, and to my son, and quite likely to many children as well.

It is similar in some ways to the difference between advertising foot-long hot dogs and mile-long hot dogs. If you advertise foot-long hot dogs, they had better be 12 inches, because people have a reasonable expectation that they will be. No one expects a "mile-long" hot dog to be 5280 feet.

The second statement, about making another just like the first, is so devaluing that I can't even imagine a parent saying that.

Many years ago, my child's daycare was in a different part of the office building in which I worked. There was a fire, fortunately in the part in which I worked, and of course the whole building was evacuated. As I was descending the many flights of stairs, I mentioned to my co-worker that I was worried about my child, and grateful that the fire was on my end of the building. He actually asked why I would be so worried when I could always have another child. I was horrified. Do you agree that that statement was insensitive?

I think most of us growing up had a certain healthy fear of our parents (which kids today seem to totally lack), WE remember things like:
"I'll give you something to cry about"
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out"
"I can make another one just like you"
"Wait till your father gets home, you won't sit for a week"

Huuuh??? Who are these "WE" who remeber something like that? i certainly do not remember anything of the sort. Nobody in the normal state of mind say anything like that to their children, in fact to any children. I feel very sorry that anyone of you on this board expereinced this type of verbal and emotional abuse from their own parents. Deeply disturbing. Healthy fear? What is healthy about it?

as about calling the police in re to verbal threats. We had a case in the neigbourhood when one neighbour said "I gonna kill you" to the other one after a prolonged argument about parking or bicycle or something like that. The other person called the police. Police did come and arrested the guy and I don't know if he ended up in jail (probably not because it was not real threat, just said in anger) but he was arrested for threats: real or unreal and was taken away in front of the neighbours.

So if somebody threatens a child with murder (I'll take out etc), then why would police react any different? is it OK to threaten children? I don't know if I would call the police, but I would most certainly inform CPS. I would not want to assume that parents are just joking or installing "healthy fear" in their children. ha.

Where I live verbal threats are taken seriously. Children are being suspended and arrested every day for threats at school. The lesson is as a parent, dont make threats that you arent willing to go through with -- as in no homework, no TV, not good grades, no car. Dont set an example of threatening violence.

I was telling my DH about this thread last night at dinner. He was able to finish each of those lines, except "I can make another one just like you" (which, if you are frustrated with this one, why would you want another one 'just' like him?) and we both remember 'wait til your father gets home'. We heard them. We didn't take them seriously, as nothing ever happened when dad got home. Mom never killed any of us. We never took those lines seriously but they sure told us that mom had enough. We knew we'd crossed the line and it never occurred to me to pick up the phone and call the police.

My mom 'cursed' us by saying 'when you grow up, I hope you have four kids just like YOU'. Of course, I wasn't that lucky. They are kinda like me, but it changed my opinion on how much is genetics. My middle son that never met his dad til this year, talks like him, walks like him, uses phrases he used to use, has his personality, dresses like him, etc. It's really weird.

If those things were said today, they might be taken seriously, although coming from a parent, unless the child is abused or believes their parent would kill them, they should know the parent is just saying "ENOUGH". The kid saying 'I'm gonna kill you' following an altercation or argument should be taken seriously with all the school shootings and violence we see nowadays. Those things didn't happen when we were kids and I don't remember kids telling them they were gonna kill them. They might say they're going to beat them up after school. There is 'healthy' fear. It's the fear of getting in trouble so you do the right thing. That's gone to the wayside and now you have kids that are good, responsible and respectful and you have kids that don't give a damn and victimize the good, responsible ones. When one of those 'thugs' that have no fear because they knew that they couldn't be punished so they got away with anything and everything, when one of those kids victimizes you or your child, then what? Some kids learn from a time out. Some don't and if the fear of getting in trouble keeps them in line, so what?

I have another "threat" parents have said to add to the list. When I was in high school a friend of mine had gotton into trouble when we were at her house and I recall her dad saying "If you ever do that again I will smack you so hard your clothes will be back in style when you wake up!"

At that age we knew he was not going to hit her, he was just frustrated and trying to show her how upset he was. But I always found that statement humerous!

But I agree with the poster that said these "threats" only seem like threats when a child is used to getting hit. If a child is not used to getting hit these sayings come across as jokes and warnings.

I have often joked with my children about spanking them. They know I am joking because I don't spank.

I guess how something is taken depends on the home it is used in. In an abusive home I could joke with a child about spanking and they may cry instead of joke back and laugh as my kids do.

The most fearsome threat issued by my parents? "If you don't do XYZ (or if you do ABC), we are sending you to the all-girls parochial school!"

Nothing more terrifying than having to spend your days in plaid skirts and vests, white blouses, and black & white saddle shoes!

EEKS... I tell all of the children step and bio... I can't wait for you to have kids ... I am going to sit in your house and the first time you tell your child to clean his room or take care of their body ... I am going to say don't your dad/mom's just being mean to you they never cleaned their rooms or took a shower ... and I am going to make them brownies and goodies every night and at bedtime I am going to come over and have them eat with me .... when you are telling them to go to bed I am going to tell them your mom/dad never wanted to go to bed why should you!!!!

IMA I said that "once" to my SC and hubby gave me the "look" later on he said "don't ever say that again my mom said that to me and look at my kids" ... "imagine how my grandkids will be my poor kids will be out of their minds"!!!!!

TOS, I think you misunderstood the joke. I, as the parent, was the one being "returned" to the store. I would respond that I could be returned, but they would give her two more parents to replace the one she "returned." I agree that your co-workers comment was completely out of line and heartless. There is a large difference between my banter with my kids and that statement.

I think when most of us were young and hearing these *threats* was a completely different time. Kids didn't threaten CSD. There wasn't so many eagle eyes on the way you raised your kids. Spanking - or a belt - was an acceptable practice. Things have changed a lot since then, so statements my mom would make to joke with us - "Look, wooden spoons are on sale! I better get 10 so I have lots to paddle your butt with!" that would make a store clerk laugh then would likely make a clerk call CSD now. This is brought about by all the sick, sadistic people who harm their kids on a daily basis and I can't say that I blame society for taking these statements as threats when 20 years ago they would have been laughing. I just think it's terribly sad that we have reached this point.

i am not that old, but I am in my early 40s and neither belts nor spanking nor verbal abuse nor threats were a common thing or a norm. They really weren't.

I knew there were kids who were beaten, threatened, verbally and emotionally abused or constantly grounded but most of the times those were really trashy families, drug or alcohol abusers or simply very unstable and ignorant people. Nobody with some kind of class would talk to kids in this manner. "i am going to smack you so when you wake up etc"...maybe it is a joke, but ain't funny, none of my friends had parents like that. I trully do not know any, it was never a norm. It wasn't as easy to get parents to stop abusive behavior, children had less rights. But it was never a norm. I don't know in what circles it was a normal thing.

I am over 50, and corporal punishment, or threats thereof, were not the norm in my neighborhood or school either.

and we grew up in different parts of the world and yet it wasn't a norm. And my mother is in her 60s and was never punished, and my dad is 70 and never was beaten up or otherwise punished. he was grounded when he fell in the ice hole and almost drowned.
So i don't think it is those "old days" or generation thing or even geographical thing (we are from different parts of the world), so it is something else I guess..

I honestly can't believe this emotional abuse... this is all so laughable to me. When we were younger my dad used to say you better be on your best behavior or your a** is grass and I'm the lawnmower. Us kids joke about it now... it certainly wasnt emotionally scarring. Really!!! I think we are being just a bit too sensitive. And, I have certainly heard many people say I brought you into this world and I can take you out. And my parents used to tell my brothers all the time that they hope they have kids just like them... and we continuously joke with my cousin who is trying to have a kid ... that he is going to end up with twins that are exactly like him (he was admittedly a problem child when he was growing up)

And about calling the cps ... my brother threatened to call the cops on my dad one time and he told him good... then you will be their problem infact I'll dial... My brother didnt know what to do. He just looked at him in disbelief.

... BTW I just finished reading the last few posts and I have to say that my parents were are and always will be the CLASSIEST most honest kindest hardest working people I have ever known and I find it offensive that anyone would say otherwise... and I would question anyone's own class that would judge people without knowing them and based upon one statement.

Or perhaps fine, tos and kkny had the most liberal parents of the 'old days'....

That was a horrible thing he said TOS, and is a completely diffrent context than this IMO.

"There is 'healthy' fear. It's the fear of getting in trouble so you do the right thing."

Amen, Ima.

There is a difference between child abuse and discipline. I'm actually really offended you would imply my parents were abusive. Alot of these sayings are either joking frustration venting or a warning that you've crossed the 'line' and to straighten up. It depended on Mom/Dad's tone.

"Nobody in the normal state of mind say anything like that to their children, in fact to any children. I feel very sorry that anyone of you on this board expereinced this type of verbal and emotional abuse from their own parents."
and
"I knew there were kids who were beaten, threatened, verbally and emotionally abused or constantly grounded but most of the times those were really trashy families, drug or alcohol abusers or simply very unstable and ignorant people."

Thats a very crude thing to say. My father has a doctorate and was a high ranking federal official for 20+ years. My mother also worked for the federal government, also highly educated. Never once did I 'feel' abused or threatened or endangered. Did I believe they would actually harm me to that extent? Never. I would say I grew up in a very loving environment, but I also knew if I broke the rules without a doubt I would be punished and I would not like it. I swear some of you ladies really are too anal retentive.

I have never heard anyone say, "I brought you into this world and I can take you out," nor "I can make another one just like you." I know my father was hit with a "switch" that he had to go find himself - I remembering envisioning a rather sizable branch of a tree, though I suspect that it was not as large as that. I got the impression that he resented his mother both for humiliating and for hitting him. I know he resented his father for telling him that although he should never start a fight, he had better win if someone else attacked him, or he would be punished again when he got home. I am quite certain he did feel abused, even if it was common back then (before World War I, which is probably well before anyone else's parents were around).

I'm sorry but some of the statements have make me laugh cause i've heard many of them. In my culture we have many others that i think are lost inthe translation but you get the point that your in deeeeep doooodooo.:)
Here are some
I'll squeeze you until oil is oozing out of you.
I'll beat with a stick that roots will grow out of you.
You'll eat stick
And the main threats my paretns did was 'you'll get a pandoufla off the head' which is a slipper. and let me tell you, getting whipped by one of those hurt! Even when i dogded it my mother still manage to get me! Damn thing would curve or something! Andof course the pan off the head worked as well:)
We all have forms or had forms of punishments. The point is kids do need it but parents do take it sometime way too far. That woman in the stall was losing it and someone needed to step in.
I remember, and i Will NEVER forget this. I was about 9 years old. My brother is 5 years older than me. He was caught skipping school one afternoon and the boy he hung out with in highschool had a criminal record. Car theft etc..etc..list a mile long. Well. My fahter worked looooong hours 16-18 hours sometimes a day. The principal phoned and told my father my brother skipped out. Well, my father came home early that day. At 3pm he was home.I knew something was wrong. My brother came home and that is wehn it started.
F:So how was school
Bro:It was good.
F:Yah, what did you do inthe afternoon
Bro:What do you mean, i was in school
F: OH yah, thats why the principal called me.? You weren't there, You were out with that punk!
Then the beating started! My mother stood back and both my twin and i just stood there watching my brother being hit with my father leather belt. And when that broke, he was slapping him with his hand. My father was a miner and a baker. he had a wicked back hand! At one point my mother took my father off of my brother.
Dont get wrong. My father was in tears while beating my brother. He loved all of us and didn't want my brother to be hanging around with the wrong crowd. He got the beats that night but saw my father didn't want to but had to cause it was the last straw.
My brother never saw his friend again, didn't hang around him at school and never missed class again. Did he hate my fahter.No. He loved him even more after that day. Cause he saw his father crying like a baby cause he cared.
Kids need discipline but for good reasons. Not for stupidity like whining. Good reason. Like going near a fire, starting a fire, being disrespectful to an elder. Skipping school, hanging around the wrong crowd. doing drugs, Smoking.
the child whining in the store didn't deserve a beating like my brother got. And my father NEver used foul language. Never.
That woman was losing her temper. the lost it and couldnt' control herself. And her swearing? A mother swearing at her own child disgusts me.

No one deserves a beating like your brother got. Of course he should have been punished, but beating your child is never ok.

we have to agree to disagree. i consider all these joking threats abusive and i consider corporal punishment abusive. it is OK if others see it differently.

i find this kind of beating for skipping school rather excessive. your brother had to be grounded of course but this kind of beating, I don't think so. my brother skipped school more than once, in fact he forged signatures pretending he has a note from mom allowing him to stay home. and he used to hang out with the wrong crowd. he of course got in trouble and got some kind of grounding for it (wasn't allowed to go somewhere or do something, don't recall). My brother is a very succesful professional, intelligent hard working family man and a father and he never ever got in any trouble.

So it is possible to grow up OK, more than OK, without beatings for skipping school.

did you dad ever apologize for it? I was slapped on the face once (I shared it before-for staying up late with the boy and not telling my parents) and my dad apologized. and actually that fact that he said I am sorry for what i did and his explanation why he was so upset taught me to not do it again, it taught me to be considered of my parents.

Once again I understand that we cannot change what our parents did or didn't do, I just completely disagree that beating or verbally abusing children of any age is ever OK. It is never ever OK. and I strongly believe that loving, forgiving and communicating with children will teach them more than beating or verbal abuse. Yes, rules and expectations, but never abuse. I will always believe that 100%. Nothing will change my mind.

let's disagree.

Not sure if it is a cultural thing, but my grandma would make her children lick each other's back if they were caught fighting with each other. I found it so disgusting that it made me think twice before fighting with my siblings, even though my mom never said she'd do that to us. She just told us how her mom handled it and it was enough to make us think.

I was sent the below joke a few weeks ago. This post reminded me of it and I thought I'd share!! As I read some of them, I could actually hear my mother's voice! LOL!!!

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If youre going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you donÂt straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, thatÂs why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, youÂre not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case youÂre in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and IÂll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"YouÂll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, IÂve told you a million times. DonÂt exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who donÂt have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you donÂt stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on, donÂt you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, donÂt come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you donÂt eat your vegetables, youÂll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"YouÂre just like your father."

23 My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, youÂll understand."

25. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
"One day youÂll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

OH the emotional abuse !!!

My mother taught me how to DISENGAGE!
Go to your room!

My mother taught me how to speak A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
cussing up a storm ... excuse my french.