I am 65, my DH 71, 2nd marriage, have been married 22 years. Our arrangements were made quite a few years ago. We each have 3 children, all grown and self-supporting. Our will leaves EVERYTHING to the one surviving, then equally to the children when we're both gone, except that 2 houses from my inheritance will be divided by my 3. He had no inheritance. I had money when we married, he didn't but his salary was more than mine so it evens out. Could the surviving spouse decide to give/leave everything only to their children ~ absolutely but we trust each other not to do that. I love my skids and I feel pretty confident that he loves his. None of the children expect anything until we're both gone, nor do they feel entitled. As for the X's, his ran off and left him and the children, taking everything she could get her hands on when they were teens so he certainly doesn't provide for her in any capacity although she is homeless now and has to live with the children. My X is very well off but I didn't want to live with him and didn't want him taking care of me. I did expect a modest amount of child support that I had to fight for. I was married to him for 20 years but didn't ask for and don't want any of his retirement benefits.

Getting dangerously close to the big 60!!!! As the pension argument goes on, My DH got to keep his pension as an asset in his divorce, Ex not entitled to any of it..Now I m signed on as beneficiary as his wife...In my state you can collect Social Security on your ex spouse benefits,(if the marriage lasted at least ten years) as long as you dont remarry..It wont affect second wifes benefits, she can collect also....DH believes since his Ex got paid for house, his kids will inherit that..I own a house that I have given him life estate in(meaning my heir, cannot make him leave or sell)Upon his death(if I have predeceased him)My son can sell the house....Sks and I split an insurance policy 50% to me , 25% each to them....All other assets go to the surviving spouse...We made a will, and we thought this was about as fair as we could do...And I would urge anyone , any age to make a will as quickly as possible, even if they think they are too young, my DH was a healthy guy(as far as we knew) and 3 months after we made the will, had a severe heart attack and almost died... One year later he had a pacemaker put in (this past Christmas Eve,) sigh, hope it works and he s with me many more years...But I think when you are discussing this with your attorney, they will advise you what to do to be fair, and talk it out with DH before you get there, but do protect yourselves. You never know what will happen, you want all this in writing......

I am in 50 and my DH will be 60 this spring and retire. He has three adult children and I have none.

As for our house, we are tenants in common. When we got together, I had my own money, so I paid half of the cost of building our new house. I pay 50% of the property tax and the house insurance.

My DH pays for our living. I contribute to the cost of our outings, gift for his family & friends, and pay all my spending (car, gas & insurance, clothing and so forth).

We wrote our wills a couple of years ago, as we believed that will was not for when we get older and (maybe) get sick, but for unexpected death at any age, especially when you have some asset and complicated family situation. Will definitely reduces irrelevant aggravation and emotional conflict among love ones.

I am from a split family and we, siblings, had a heck of an emotional roller coaster when my parents passed away in 2 consecutive years, as neither of my parents had prepared their will. When my mother was in a hospice dying from cancer, my three older siblings decided to get adopted by my mother so that they could be eligible for inheritance from her. It was a very painful procedure to go through (literally, my mother had to sign on pages and pages of forms in her bed....). My younger brother and I were very upset. However, as every children were involved in the family business and the assets were somewhat related, it was unavoidable to go through this hell to keep peace in our family future.

My DH willed 1/2 of our house and his entire asset to his three children. I can stay in the house up to 10 years after his death and the children will pay 1/2 of the tax, insurance and maintenance costs. I will be entitled to his pension and will keep getting paid after his death until I die.

I willed 1/2 of our house to his three children and grandchildren to share equally. My DH can stay in the house as long as he can and the children will pay ½ of the house related cost. Any cash or cash convertible will go to my younger brother's children. I will change my will whenever I feel it necessary, though.

Also, I wrote a "living will", but I appointed my best friend (very wealthy) as a power of attorney. She is the executor of my will, too. (My DH knows about it.) It may sound very different as if I do not love my DH and trust him. However, when you are in this kind of situation, you have to protect yourself. I firmly believe that his children go first when something happens on me like death, veggie or Alzheimer. Blood is thicker than water.