Ken, I think that you are totally misunderstanding my point of view. First of all, I never got the impression that Cube's dad owned his house fee and clear. She said that he said, Âbut the house and car insurance snuck up on meÂ. I took that to mean house payment, although, it could have meant homeowner's insurance, or real estate taxes. I don't know. But I assumed that he did not own the house free and clear. Also, I could care less about the inheritance. I don't care if I inheret a dime from my relatives, and I guess that I make the presumption that others don't care either. My concern is what is best for Cube and her dad. Sure, she could continue to supplement his income, and write IOUs, but that really is not what's best, because Cube is planning for a layoff, and the money simply will not be there for her to give to her dad. You can't give what you don't have. The RM is a possible alternative, but I don't think it's best for Cube's dad, mainly because, as you said, he may have another 20 years of living to do. That RM is gonna come due eventually. Or, he will tap it out, and then, how will he pay for his living expenses? As stated above, my opinion was not based on the fact that the RM would prevent Cube from obtaining an inheritance. My point was, the best way for Cube to help her dad out of this situation, which she feels a moral obligation to do, is to help him to not spend more than he earns. I'm sorry that you feel that that would be "treating him like a child." But, I disagree. My grandfather does not feel like he is treated like a child. My mother does not insist that he hand his money over for safe keeping. He willingly gives it to her and asks her to hold it (because he is well aware that he is not good with money,) so that if his cars breaks down and cannot be fixed, he can purchase a new one. And, I'm not talking about huge sums. Currently, my Mom is holding $3000 for my grandpa, and that is his entire net worth. In the case of my family, this is not an inheritance issue, it's a looking out for one another issue. No one has $3000 to give to grandpa, but my mom can help him be prepared in case an emergency pops up and he needs money. Perhaps the term "allowance" makes you think of a child. But many adults put themselves on an allowance. It's just the amount of money that they have to spend each week (or month) after they have met all other financial obligations. Call it something else if you like. And, I never called anyone "money stupid." I don't like the term "stupid." But, I would not equate someone who is not good with money with someone who has different money priorites either. Someone who has different money priorities is not necessarily someone who cannot meet all of their financial obligations. Do you see the distinction? I think Anita's last paragraph is a very good suggestion, IF it's even possible for Cube's dad to downsize.

mls99, I think you'll find in the US it means a beautiful, custom, Smallbone-type "scullery" period (or period-inspired) kitchen, the kind that one would likely only find in the most lavishly "done up" high-end homes and London flats! That said, a look at B&Q online these days (I snooped around just for fun) suggests that the American-type fitted kitchen now dominates in Britain too so perhaps as houses are being redone over the years the kitchens are more functional. I remember when we left we actually had a wonderful Hotpoint fridge/freezer of a size and shape that would actually suit in my small home here - it was smaller than the average AMerican sarcophogus but well designed and held loads. I loved that the bottom freezer was nearly the size of the fridge and fitted with several internal drawers (great for organizigin! That said, although it was a single unit it looked like a pair of stacked separates as was still often found in homes. Interestingly, from my reading it seems like "high end" London is now going for the minimalist look again - in fact I remember reading in the Guradian Gaurdian Guardian (sorry, British in-joke) a while back that somebody took a GORGEOUS traditional intact Pimlico 4 story house and spent a FORTUNE gutting it, and replacing all the early 19th century charm (including the fireplaces, moldings, floors - everything) with Scandinavian modern/urban loft style. Personally I consider that sacrilege, but I guess times change..... It's not QUITE as bad as the millionnaire who had a period house in Bath and somehow got planning permission to gut it and replace the glorious Regency with Andy Warhol modern.....

Your "new" room sounds wonderful and practical. How marvelous to have so many built-ins you can afford to pull some out! :-) The Barnes is just wonderful. I haven't lived in that area for a long time, but it was a fave when we did. I surprised DH with a visit when we were first dating. It was for his birthday. He was relatively new to the area did not know the Barnes even existed. That was back in the days when they only let 50 people in on one day of the week. You had to make reservations well in advance, and still, they made you wait in line. It was a glorious experience. At the time, nothing was catalogued in color and nothing was ever allowed to travel. I have not followed the politics or progress of the institution since we left in 1999. I would love to hear an update when you get back. Oh, and about the Ikea fixture....that one seems to always be sold out at my local (2 hrs away!) Ikeas. Do you know you can check stock online?

Hi live_,,,,,,I have a builder who does all the drafting and he works with an engineer so I am all set on that end of it. He has build many houses in my area, is well connected with providers as well. He also has built a barn for us on our property so I have experience working with him. I used to work for a company who I often submitted plans for clients and I am pretty familiar with the process. My daughter who is getting the loan is also pre-approved. the site is ready to go and I just need to get my design finished up.