I decided NYE not to confront SD anymore even if her actions effect me directly. I had basically disengaged from her for months unless it effected me directly...and I was still getting no where but angry ...

My moment: SD13 and SD16 got into a blow out so he broke her tv as payback for her breaking his 3 months ago ... he was angry for something that happened at moms and she did not get in trouble for so he waited til they got here to get back at her ... anyway ... NYE I am heading out to go to work I go into the cellar the spare tv is directly in front of the stairs I yell up who puts a tv in front of the stairs ... I can hear footsteps running across the house ... I come back up stairs and tell hubby the tv is in front of the stairs he says yeah she told me her and her friend are going to move it ... I said before or after I went downstairs did she tell you ?? so the footsteps I heard were her running to daddy to tell before I could. :)

So he called her out on her confession ... she said she didn't hear me at all either way I said it doesn't matter anymore .... for the last 3 weeks she has tried and tried to get me to acknowledge her actions believe me its been killing me but I just walk away or completely ignore bite my tongue squeeze my hands pick up my phone call someone anything to distract myself... and its working (for me anyway) :)

You know like when she was stepping on the cat! eyeballing me as she was getting her 2nd, 3rd, walking in front of me with her 4th, and 5th glass of soda so I would notice. Opening her door just a crack to stare at me while I am watching tv, she is now doing anything to get my attention doing the dishes, vacuuming, folding laundry, taking care of the animals, she will make coffee in the morning, wiping the bathroom sink.... daddy is acknowledging all behaviors good and bad!

And my SS16 I feel bad for this one but it only took 2 years .... at dinner the other night he tells me he is getting all A's on his progress report which is half way to report cards ... I said I don't care he said of course you do you are all about grades and school ... I said nope don't care anymore haven't for a couple years ... well he says I am just going to pretend you care, no you can't do that I don't care things I care about are you getting out of my hair at 10pm and cleaning up after yourself everything else I gave up on a long time ago.

He says you care so stop saying you don't ... I said no I don't care I cared for a long time and all you and your siblings ever said was "what do you care" "you're not my mother stop telling me what to do" "why do you care if I do my homework" ... I also stopped telling you to take care of your body remember a month ago you asked me to take you to the dentist ... "you are the only one who ever took us" he says ... you're right I was, not anymore ask one of your parents see if they take you. So it only took two years but I am glad you are starting to care about your grades and your health.

SS14 well he joined the track team at school which is great mom goes to every track meet which again is great. But he lost his uniform shirt no clue where it is ... mom's or here or who knows where......so he comes home he says do you know my coach I said no why because coach says the same stuff you do apparently gave him a speech on how its responsibility to keep track of his things not his parents and that if he didn't find it he would have to pay for a new one. (when he was whining about not being able to find it I said its your shirt you are responsible for it not me or your parents and that he'll be lucky if the don't make him pay for a new one so he should really try looking for it not waiting for it to jump onto him while he is sleeping)

It only took 7 years :)