use of child support

16 years ago

Ima mentioned the misuse of cs,and I think that is a big deal. Here is a guy paying over a thousand a month for his dd, but the money is not going to her. Instead the mom is off partying and the grandma is left to support the child, without receiving any of the child support! I think that is wrong!

Now I do see cases where the ncp and their spouse complain about how cs is being used and they are ridiculous. My ex tried telling me once that the $90 a week he gave me should cover all extras for our child and that I should be putting most of that money in the bank for our childs college! I had to point out to him that child care was more than that per week and our child needed food, clothes, and a home. My ex finally opened his eyes and realized how his money was being spent. Don't get me wrong, there were times when I had extra money and put some away for our child, but most of the time I was forced to use the money on living expenses.

There are also other cases where the child support is extremely high and the money is being used for the cp to maintain a ritzy lifestyle and they are not using the money to buy the child the things they need. I have seen kids walk around with raggedy shoes and clothes while the cp is walking around in expensive clothes, and the kids are young so you know it is not the style the child picked out.

I think that cs should be used to help support the child! Alimony is used to support the ex, cs should not be.

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Comments (4)

hecallsmemom
16 years ago
Agreed. CS should not be used to support mom, it's money that NCP pays for the upbringing and support of their child.
ceph
16 years ago
This reminds me of my housemate...
He has an eight-month-old son from a fling (he was irresponsible and believed her when she said she was on the pill).

He's paying $350 a month for CS, is splitting any large or incidental expenses 50/50, and is saving money for the baby's future. He wants to have the baby three nights a week after he's a year old, but right now she refuses him unsupervised access to his son, for even half an hour, on the premise that "since he's breastfeeding, he needs to be with her all the time in case he gets hungry"... I think that's a load of BS - she expressed milk and bottle fed her 3yo daughter because the daughter got a tooth at 3mo, but that's another story.

She insists that the baby costs her $1300 per month just to feed and clothe, so he should be paying $650 + half of incidentals. Now, she's still on mat-leave, so there's no daycare costs. The baby is breastfed, gets hand-me-down clothes from his cousin, and wears NoName diapers. He takes an allergy medicine that costs $30 per month, which my friend splits. When Mom goes back to work, he will split daycare costs too.
This baby is well cared for with no need unmet.. but there is NO WAY that he costs $1300 each month! We've polled various friends and family with babies on the cost of breastfeeding, clothing and diapering an 8mo. Their estimates range between $125 and $300 per month + incidental expenses like medication or a broken stroller.

Since he's been paying CS, and she's been complaining about being sooooo broke, she has bought a new living room set, year-long passes for the local Civic Centre for her, her 3yo daughter and the baby, a new set of fancy cookware and knives, and been driving to her dad's place about an hour away almost every weekend, and wants to buy a bigger place so that she still has a spare room once the baby moves into his own bedroom.
It's not that I think her standard of living should go down, or her daughter should be denied things because of the baby, but my housemate is not a piggybank to fund her migration into the style she wishes to become accustomed to!
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imamommy
16 years ago
I have a question related to child support and would like some opinions on it.

When I was 20, I briefly dated a guy I worked with. We stopped seeing each other & then I found out I was pregnant. He refused to talk to me about it and had no contact with me. A few months into the pregnancy, my former BF from HS said he wanted to take care of me, get married & be a family. When the baby was born, we put his name on the birth certificate. I know that was wrong but we justified it at the time because we planned on getting married and the bio dad wanted nothing to do with it. (I later found out the bio dad broke up with me because I wouldn't convert to his religion & it was supposedly important to him.) About two months after the baby was born, the BF from HS left me (because the responsibility was too much for him) and when he left, I was pregnant again. (yes, I had very poor judgment and made bad decisions) He never visited or paid support. (he was ordered to pay for both kids, $72 a month each)

When my son was 2, I filed an action to establish his bio dad as his legal dad but because it had been adjudicated in a support case that the other guy was his dad, I could not proceed against the bio dad. Over the years, I have made attempts to get the bio dad to see his son, but he refused.

When my son was 15, he was having problems, including a tumor we found in his jaw and needed surgery. Again, I contacted his bio dad and he first said he would agree to a DNA test, but backed out saying the legal dad was established. So, I again filed a court action to establish him as the father. The law in CA changed so I could file to dismiss against the wrong guy & I did. It took me a year to find him & take DNA but we got it done and on my son's 18th birthday, the order was vacated, including any past support he might owe for my son (he still owes for our daughter). The following day, I went to court in the other case against the bio dad and he tried to get the court to deny my petition for a DNA test because my son was 18. The court ordered the test (because the case was filed when my son was 15) and if he was proved to be the dad, he would have to pay back to the date it was filed.

So, DNA proved he is the dad. Here's the question that the court is deciding as we speak... He has to pay for the last three years but he filed a motion to dismiss the first case and I filed a motion to consolidate both cases. Should he have to pay back to the date of the first case, when my son was 2? at that time (before CA had "guideline" support, I requested he pay $250 a month so that is the most he would have to pay for each month if it does go back)
helpwiththis
16 years ago
Child support? I have never seen that....what is it?
hahahaha

use of child support

Comments (4)

hecallsmemom

ceph

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