Hi Mad_gallica, Yes, we thought about trying to coax the pyracantha over a bit farther because it really is large and beautiful (there are two of them on this wide brick end wall). But the utility boxes my mom wants to hide are quite far from it so it wasn't clear how effective that would be. She really liked the idea of having her "own" plant (it would be right around the corner from her entryway so sort of "hers"). She currently has a Queen Elizabeth rose bush which is nearing the end of its useful life (it is QUITE old) and which is requiring ever increasing amounts of labor (spraying, deadheading, etc.) to keep it looking like anything. Hence the desire for something evergreen (so the boxes will be hidden year-round) and low maintenance. I had read some posts about Skyrocket suffering from snow weight (ice would presumably be worse) so that's something to consider... thanks for raising that point! So... I need something vertical, evergreen, TOUGH (can take ice buildup), and narrow in diameter so it won't block the sidewalk ... hmmmm. Something trellised against the brick seems the most logical, but what, if she doesn't want to compete with the pyracantha?

Clare, I missed seeing this earlier. I'm so sorry. Even though you weren't close physically, you had a connection. Emotions are not something we can always predict. Grief can hit unexpectedly. It did so with me when a friend passed away that I wasn't super close to, as in best friends, but we sang in choir together as altos, and I admired her greatly. Her death from cancer hit me much harder than I ever expected. It's natural. It's unfortunate you can't express it openly. I'm sure you miss being there with your DH, too. Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you. Sally

You are not an idiot and any feeling you have, you are entitled to have. However, if the feelings are destructive and there is no solution, then you shouldn't hang on to them any longer than you have to. I know it's hard but try to remember that you can't change your mother's husband or what happened. You can only change how you deal with it and by letting it eat you up, you are giving him a level of power over your emotions and life that he doesn't deserve. Focus instead on your mother's life and your interaction with her. I'm sure she knew you loved her and was proud of you. Although it's not easy to face, it's not uncommon for spouses of very ill people to develop other relationships, especially if the illness lasted for years. I'm not making excuses for him and his actions since your mother's death are tacky. But you can hope that while she was alive he treated her well and made sure she was cared for properly. You say he was a louse and she didn't see it but you also said you are just now finding out some of the details of his affair. Maybe he wasn't a louse to your mother. Her things don't matter and his actions don't matter. All that matters are your memories of your mother. Remember what she taught you and how she made you feel. Know that she would want you to be happy and to have a great relationship with your husband. She would want you to feel peace. You'll always miss her, but I don't think any mother would want her daughter to feel such turmoil 2 years after her passing. You are a good daughter for caring so much. If you can't let it go, then try to figure out how you think it should be resolved. What could he give you of your mothers that would make you feel more closure? What could he say or do? If you can figure it out, then it's worth a try to tell him and explain your issues. If there's nothing he could do to change it then you have to figure out what you need to do to move on.

Sorry for the delay in replying but I was at work. LOL Here's some suggestions I had posted before. My whole family packs lunch about 4X a week and often itÂs our main meal of the day. We tend to like vegetable salads without greens and with some meat, poultry or seafood with them. Her are some things we make for lunches (usually with some type of fruit or dessert with them): -Margarita scallop salad (grilled scallops w/a corn salad) -Grilled portabella and eggplant salad w/sesame ginger dressing -Hummus w/pita triangles and a Greek salad (and sometimes a grilled stuffed kibbee with it) -Ham and cheese on mini-bagels with chicken rice soup -Tomato and mozzarella salad with a couple of slices of French bread and some salami -Tomato stuffed with chicken salad, crackers -Baked chicken breast, baby carrots and sugar snap peas with dip -Caponata and some slices of smoked provolone -A fruit and cheese platter with rolled up slices of ham and turkey and assorted crackers -Shrimp and asparagus salad with mustard-dill dressing, bread soldiers -Cream cheese, blue cheese, horseradish and dried beef spread with garlic melba rounds, pepper cabbage -Cold salmon with a container of yogurt, cucumber and mint sauce and green beans cooked with tomatoes and onions -What we call Italian tuna salad (tuna, little cubes of tomato and onion, mixed with basil, olive oil and balsamic vinegar), thin slices of French bread -Stuffed onions or eggplant or zucchini (good use for leftover meat) and marinated mushrooms -Shrimp and corn salad with mini corn muffins -An avocado stuffed with crabmeat salad with breadsticks -Barley salad topped with sliced London broil steak -Gingered carrot soup with cucumber and onion sandwiches These are summer lunches. In winter, the menu leans more towards soups and stews. I try to either make up a few things on the weekend, and when weÂre grilling, we can throw some portabella or eggplant slices on there for a salad or incorporate lunch for the next day into dinner. For example, if IÂm making pasta with red crabmeat sauce, IÂll get enough crabmeat to make a salad for the next day while dinner is cooking.