You might want to try vegan cookbooks as they don't eat any animal products, such as dairy or eggs. I have bought several vegan cookbooks due to my son's food allergies and have found many wonderful recipes. I have checked out dairy-free cookbooks from the library and found most of their recipes to be bland and unexciting, whereas the vegan cookbooks call for a lot of herbs, spices and fresh produce. One of my favs is The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen for main dish recipes. I got a great chocolate pudding cake recipe from the How It All Vegan cookbook. (Cocoa is non-dairy.)
Have you tried some of the alternative milks? I use rice and soy in cooking, though I don't much care to drink either one of them straight. I had 15 people over for supper the other night and got brave and served a dip made with soy cream cheese and soy sour cream, plus fruit pizza made with soy cream cheese. Both got rave reviews, even though the guests knew that it was a non-dairy subsitute. They all said they they knew it was non-dairy (as they know I don't cook with dairy) but that they would never have guessed otherwise as they didn't notice any difference.
I do have a vegan dessert cookbook, though, that has recipes for non-dairy 'cheesecakes' which does gross me out! Don't know that I would go that far - though I have made an egg- and dairy-free pumpkin pie that was good.
If you go to Amazon and type in 'dairy-free cookbook' you will see that there are a number of cookbooks available on the subject. I have cooked dairy-free (and egg and nut free) for over a year now - use a lot of basic cookbooks and just know what can and can't be subsituted easily. But there are dairy-free margarines, dairy-free chocolate chips, etc on the market - it just takes some time grocery shopping to see what is available. ~ Suzie

"200 best lactose-free recipes" is the cookbook i like to use... some of the recipes are substitute ones like you mentioned but some get quite creative.. i bought it at chapters

Suzie's right - you can find lots of dairy-free recipes in every cookbook. There's also many great books that address food allergies, which include dairy-free recipes, such as:

1. "The Complete Food Allergy Cookbook" by Marilyn Gioannini

2. "The Allergy Self-help Cookbook" by Marjorie Hurt Jones, R.N.

3. "Not Milk... NUT MILKS!" by Candia Lea Cole

Have you checked your local library for cookbooks? That's a good place to start.

There are also very good substitutes you should apprise yourself of. Having a lactose intolerant son and granddaughter, I've been there, done that.....and lived through it. A quick look in my recipe collection will find lots of dairy-free recipes I've found, or developed, over the years from lots of sources.

We've used several brands of whey-based milk substitute products for over 25 years, which is a low-lactose product that works like milk. It was suggested by my son's doctor, and we've used it ever since because it's much cheaper than regular milk.

Another thing to point out about lactose intolerance, most people can consume some foods containing lactose in small quantities. Their bodies still can convert small amounts - how much and how often is an individual thing.

The general rule - the more fat there is in a dairy product, the less lactose there is. So you'll find most people can consume cookies, cake, or other baked good made with butter, because it's very low in lactose, as are other high fat products, like cream cheese, etc. These are things I discovered on my own doing a lot of research on the subject of lactose intolerance.

Cultured dairy products (kefir, yogurt, quark, etc.) are also very low in lactose (especially if you make them at home and control the fermentation process). Neither my son or granddaughter have a problem using my homemade kefir. Kefir fermentation converts most of the lactose in ordinary milk into far more easily digested components. The remaining lactose content is so low that most otherwise lactose-intolerant people find that, through kefir, they can enjoy milk again. I use kefir as a substitute for buttermilk, cream cheese, and sour cream.

-Grainlady

Here is a link that might be useful: Lactose Percentages of Foods