Today finally my ex did give me a little money to help out with the wedding dress that I bought for my daughter....can't believe what they charge for something that is worn ONE time. To her credit, she has been hounding her mom constantly to give me money, even though I just mentioned it one time a couple months ago, that I hope it's not all on my tab.

haven't taken the check to the bank yet, so I'll hold off on getting too giddy

It seems my dedication to the single life has sent my relationship with my "lady friend" down the tubes....the bad part is that I don't have any regrets because I have been honest from day one....she just wants more and I can't give it to her or anyone at this time.

She helped push me over the edge earlier this week....since I didn't answer the phone during the football game (which Jo will attest that I won't) she left a sarcastic message saying that maybe we shouldn't talk until after the weekend, since I will be so busy getting ready to leave town and she will probably be busy herself. I figure, Ok. Since that message, my phone rings every night after I go to bed with only the word "goodnight" on the answering service.

Hey there Guy - Not sure if you read some of my other recent posts on the same subject. I was just told I wanted more than he was willing to give right now. I could really start a rant on that one, but since this is family TV...

Sorry about your trip being cancelled. It's better that you are home safe at least.

Peal Harbor Day...; hmmm. A lot of people don't really knw the significane. I'm too young (hee, hee) to remember, but my Dad was AF, and I've worked with a lot of former military, so I've been told, for sure.

Also, see my post on Coffeshop RE your camera!!

I did reply in the Coffeeshop....you will love that camera...just read the manual...it's got auto settings, but the tweaks make it awesome...I'm waiting for a full moon to take night shots.

Thanks - you gotta post the pics!!

You have to post pics of your kitchen and (ahem) yourself too. :)

back to rant....I don't dislike a relationship, but when it's made clear that I'm shy of marriage and if I don't call for a couple of days I get sarcastic phone calls... that's not the way to win me over and make me think I really want to get married again....wrong gameplan "coach".

Oh, Michael - I feel ya my Friend - tell her to do what she has to do, just as you will. You don't need a whiny-arsed be-atch in your life. Kiss her, as only you know how to do, and send her and her little boat on down the river - there will be a yacht along, looking for a mooring, any time now!

Sound's plain and clear to me!!

But ya know, we always think we can change things - the nuturers that we are. If we are nice enough we can convince anyone to do anything. It's not the chase like the guys enjoy, but more like the mothering we think "you" like. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, his laundry, his eyes, etc. Usually it works. But, we don't think we are doing that when we do it. It's mostly just trying to do the right thing and then everything will fall into place. Nowadays though, especially as we've gotten older, we've have been scalded by a bad relationship and have cold feet, even for Mr/Ms Right. Sad...

Thanks for the backup Jo....I have my phone turned off tonight just because I don't even want to hear it ring tonight...I just want a nice quiet weekend...if there is a family emergency, I have ICQ for numerous family members to get ahold of me.

I understand the mothering and doting thing, gng....She has come and stayed for a month and did everything....Got upset when I did things for myself and didn't want her help. It's just a warning sign to an old man that's seen almost everything..Holding out until I've seen it all.

That's not mothering; that's controlling!! Not to say she's not a lovely person, but that sounds like my grandmother - and she ironed sheets to boot!!

I would feel controlled if I allowed it to happen....I'm not a teenager that has to rebel, I just don't want to put up with the games of always being accountable of why I didn't call...I remarked the other night that it's like I have to do a nightly chore or she will be ticked....she called and said don't worry about your chores anymore, but yet my phone rings at 11 every night after I go to bed.

You're not calling for a reason - secure and satisfied in yourself, which is good, or you really don't have that flame for her, or both. Either way, if you don't want it, you don't want it. But, it is nice to have someone to keep company with sometimes. It still sounds like anal-mania to me though.

I consider myself very secure and satisfied....on the other hand, she has admitted and shown that she is insecure..it's tough, I to care for her, I just don't care for the guilt trips that comes along with caring for her. It's like if I don't propose marriage, then I don't really love her....I guess I don't really love her

Back online - started writing and my computer died - AGAIN!

Anyway, as had started to say, you don't have to love her. It's just nice to have company. Sometimes the more mature relationships are just that - whatever you want it to be. You just appreciate and enjoy each other. HOWEVER, if she still doesn't know you aren't going anywhere, hmmmm....

She may do all of that naturing - cleaning, etc., as a way of justifying herself. She just may not have the self confidence to realize that the nurturing isn't what she is. That's a tough one - you want to hang in there and prove that's not the case, and help her to realize her worth. But also, why would someone want to have to walk on eggshells all the time; making sure she felt secure. Best wishes on that one!!

I did have two more messages on my cell after last night....one word "goodnight"....I don't go back to work until Tuesday so I'll relax this weekend and deal with talking to her later. Eggshells is a good analogy of how it feels at times. Just have to see what happens.

Michael, you MUST have 'the talk' with her. I think I see the problem - you aren't communicating with her and she is confused. Women aren't really as deep as men like to blame them for being. TALK TO HER!

You male-type people like to be-atch about we female-type people not 'telling us what you want', but that's like the pot calling the kettle black - guys don't tell US what you want. Some of your wants are no-brainers, but the soul-type stuff we just can't get to come in on our crystal ball!

Michael, I know you well, and you are one of the smartest men I have ever dealt with - you KNOW what you need to do, so DO IT! Keep us posted on how it goes - we love LOVE storeis!!!

K-J, you are so right-on with this one, whether talking about Michael or not. It is so hard trying to figure out what's really going on in a man's mind. They don't want to talk ore reveal themselves, but as women, we understand so much more than what we've been given credit for. A lot of times, like you say, it's a no-brainer for us. I guess in their minds it's too complex - like going shopping. They just can't do it. I'm glad I'm woman - it's too hard being a man.

hang in there Michael. It's pretty obvious you care about her. She cares about you too. Maybe it will all even out. It doesn't have to be love as I said before. But just having that other half sometimes sure is nice when you need it. Things that make you go, hmmmm...

gng