skip to main content

The Single Life

Keys to Self-esteem

22 years ago

After breaking up with someone we love, we tend to blame ourselves. Since meeting and spending hours with my new friend, I am assured it was not entirely my fault. I felt compelled to pass some of my comfort on to others who might need to regain some Self-esteem. I am listing, below, some steps that you may find of value:

Dare to take a risk again - just remember to take SAFE risks.

Stop the negative Self-image. Building Self-esteem is a process, not developed overnight.

Stop trying to fool your real SELF - you can't do it.

Stop putting yourself down.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Get involved in activities you love.

Be true to YOURSELF.

Accept praise and say "thank you" - believe you deserve it.

Say "I am a valuable and lovable person and I deserve the best in my life" - say it 20 times a day to yourself.

Associate with supportive and positive people.

Make a list of your past successes.

List your positive qualities and read them often.

Start giving more of yourself to those around you.

Respect yourself first.

Most importantly, when you are alone, appreciate the person you are with - YOURSELF.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (6)

Daisyduckworth
22 years ago
The following words of wisdom were part of a 'personals' ad from a man in his 50s - it really impressed me, and has helped in a multitude of situations, including a relationship break-up.

"I don't care if you have a Past, as long as you don't live in it."
puddlejumper
22 years ago
Finding Happiness:

H - Optimize your HEALTH potential.
A - Adjust your ATTITUDE to a more positive frame.
P - PERSONAL FRIENDS need to be chosen wisely.
P - PERSONAL CHOICES need to be directed toward your goals.
Y - YOU ARE UNIQUE. Honor your own special potential.
Related Discussions
Honda HRR216SDA Self Drive Wheel problem
Q
Comments (9)
A anti-seize grease would be best, these are typically a grease with lead graphite so if you do use it keep if off of you. More important is to use some kind of grease and go back and clean and re-grease every year. key direction should be self evident once the slot in the shaft is clean. Round is down. When spring and key are in place you should be able to press the key flush with the shaft. This allows the sloped side of the pinion notch's to ramp down the key letting the pinion lock when turned one direction and spin when turned the other direction. This way when drive is not engaged the wheel will free sping while being pushed forward. It also allows a differential action of allowing the outside wheel travel further then inside wheel when make a turn.
...See More
can you recommend a key start mower
Q
Comments (6)
I can't recommend a mower because I've not had a self propelled one in a long time, and I've never had a key start walk behind. I can however give my observations on front wheel drive mowers. I had one for many years and hated it from pretty early on. I kept it because I paid a lot for it and knew that it wouldn't bring much as a used mower and wanted to at least feel I'd gotten my money's worth out of it before I got rid of it. We had a nice smooth, flat lawn when I bought it and it was fine. However, when we bought our next home shortly after, the yard was much rougher and had lots of exposed oak tree roots. It was a constant fight to keep the front wheel drive mower going straight. Evey little bump would throw it off course. It got to where I wouldn't even engage the drive and just used it as a push mower.
...See More
Range hoods & car keys ...
Q
Comments (15)
We are finishing our remodel and I cooked my first thing on the new induction cooktop on an island. I telescoped up that GE downdraft and it sucked away all the steam from the popcorn popping on the front burner. It may even have had some smoke, since some kernels were burned, but I never smelled any smoke. (and I am the one who walked into the family room and asked what was on fire when DH was eating a salad with sesame seed/lime salad dressing on it, which had a smokey flavor.) BTW, DH is refusing to use the cooktop until the porcelain tile and grout can be sealed mid-September. If you are a cook who does a lot of grilling inside, or has "blackened" recipes you can't wait to try - then the downdraft would not suffice. But your basic saute'/ stir fry / boil kind of cook will find the downdraft fine. Our GE ProfileÂ 36" Telescopic Downdraft System Model JVB98SHSS was only about $700. It turns out that the motor can be mounted in the basement (an extra part is needed that you can order from GE), so it is quiet too. Think about how you cook before you dismiss the downdrafts out of hand. It may be that the TKO folks here on the forum are super-duper cooks who need all the functions of a hood. But do You? Only you can decide. Here is a link that might be useful: It is working for me!
...See More
Alycia keys and make up free
Q
Comments (37)
There's been a #nomakeupchallenge going around on social media, and I took part fresh from the shower with my fuzzy pink robe on and my hair wrapped in a towel. I did it mostly to encourage some of the younger women who follow me on IG to embrace their face. Enhance it cosmetically if they choose, but I long for girls and young women to have a sense of security about their looks that I didn't have growing up, and sometimes still struggle with truth be known. In my 20s, a closeted male "friend" told me that I looked "gross" without makeup. I understand with retrospect that he had a lot of issues of his own that I couldn't possibly understand, and really once he finally came out and began living authentically, he became a much kinder, gentler human being. That said, his words crushed me at the time and remained with me for many years. It's absurd what we sometimes internalize, isn't it? After I shared my makeup-free face, a couple of women commented that I had a nice complexion. I have never, ever thought that about myself, but today I was so bolstered by their words that I opted to skip my usual foundation routine. So far, nobody has recoiled in horror (or called me "gross). I'm really going to work at replacing my internal dialogue with positive, uplifting words. At 54 years of age, I realize I don't have a vast number of years left to waste hating my own skin.
...See More
cheerful1_gw
19 years ago
I like these. I've had a self-esteem problem for a long time, which has negatively affected different parts of my life.
kayjones
Original Author
19 years ago
If you need to talk, just email me. I can feel your pain.
cheerful1_gw
18 years ago
My husband seems to think my problem has its roots with my family. I'm in partial agreement with that, although I can't pin a specific incident down. I've had a problem for as long as I can remember, but my husband at times makes me feel worse (which I think has roots with his mother). I can't seem to snap out of it. I'm in menopause, which doesn't help either. I've been evaluating my life lately, and have been coming up short. So many things I would have done over again.
kayjones
Original Author
18 years ago
I have had self esteem issues of some sort since I was a small kid - and I know WHY, but I can't blame it on anyone - my dad was an alcoholic and my mother was bi-polar - so it is a genetic issue. I can only try to overcome it and recognize when it rears it's ugly head.

Related Stories

HOUZZ TOURS Houzz Tour: A Self-Sufficient Farmhouse With a Sheep-Pasture Roof

By Karen Egly-Thompson

LEED Platinum certification and a soil-covered top make this pastoral Virginia home green in more ways than one

Bachelorette Pad: Design Ideas for the Self-Made Lady

By Kerrie Kelly Design Lab

Reflect Your Personal Style With Color, Texture, and Welcoming Details

ECLECTIC HOMES Houzz Tour: A Dilapidated Cottage Makes Way for Self-Expression

Clever design and imagination divide and conquer a suburban site for a homeowner with a bold vision and an even bolder art collection

STANDARD MEASUREMENTS Key Measurements for a Wine Cellar, Part 1

By Steven Corley Randel, Architect

Find out the best ways to store your stash and how much space you need for wine refrigerators, racks and other storage

REMODELING GUIDES Key Measurements for a Dream Bedroom

By Steven Corley Randel, Architect

Learn the dimensions that will help your bed, nightstands and other furnishings fit neatly and comfortably in the space

GARAGES Key Measurements for the Perfect Garage

By Steven Corley Randel, Architect

Get the dimensions that will let you fit one or more cars in your garage, plus storage and other needs

MOST POPULAR 12 Key Decorating Tips to Make Any Room Better

By Judith Taylor Designs

Get a great result even without an experienced touch by following these basic design guidelines

WINE CELLARS Key Measurements for a Wine Cellar, Part 2

By Steven Corley Randel, Architect

Wine connoisseurs: A wine cellar can add a spectacular feature to your home

REMODELING GUIDES Key Measurements: Recreation Rooms Rule

By Steven Corley Randel, Architect

Planning to fix up the basement or build an addition for game tables? Learn what will fit and what you might want to include

TILE 3 Key Steps for Grouting That Looks Its Best

By By Any Design Ltd.

Get your grout right to keep your tile beautiful and for an installation that will last

Sponsored

Mary Shipley Interiors

34 Reviews

Columbus OH Premier Interior Designer 10x Best of Houzz