Too much of a chance for a popularity contest. A member should obtain as much information in total as possible and then make their own decision based on that information. Why do posters have to approve of a suggestion? Just because someone disagrees with the suggestion, or the suggestion is one of several possibilities how is it automatically "thumbs down". There is already a declining number of problem solving contributors in case anyone hasn't noticed so why do anything that might drive more away. DA

:) Our house isnt near your previous house of almost 4k sq ft (ours is 2,250) but when the foundation was first poured and cured. I remember walking on the slab like this doesn't look like all of our rooms on the 1st floor are going to put let alone the 3 car garage. Once framing went up the house even appeared smaller to me so thats why I had to laugh with your post because I remember at that point pulling out the tape measurer to make sure the dimensions were correct. Let me tell you that if you feel its small now, you will start to think its even smaller once the drywall goes up because you wont have the depth perception of being able to look between all of the rooms...lol In the end the specs of the rooms were on but for some reason during the build they just appeared to be smaller than they really were!

Here's what I'm thinking. Sort of along Mommabear's thought. I think you need more info from the teacher, and should press her on specific points. It's possible the teacher is overreacting, it's possible the teacher's expectations of your daughter are too high because of her intelligence; it's possible your daughter is fidgeting more because school is getting harder or easier or she doesn't like the teacher or something; it's possible the teacher is not a very good disciplinarian; it's possible the teacher just always feels she has to complain about something. ANYTHING is possible, frankly. I think you need more info. Ask some specific questions, and insist on some specific answers. Is your daughter having more problems in these areas than the other kids are? Is her behavior inappropriate to her age? Why is this something that is brought to YOUR attention? Can't the teacher handle it? What specifically has the teacher done to help your daughter w/ these behavior problems, and have they worked or not worked? What does the teacher do when your daughter fidgets? How does your daughter react? How disruptive IS this behavior to the other kids in the class? Do other teachers see this behavior? How do they respond? Does it work? Then, with your daughter, I think your approach should not be to punish her, but rather to strategize with her and coach her. She's not willfully misbehaving, really, and besides, I think this sort of thing (small issues, classroom discipline) are best punished by the school, and that parents shouldn't be issuing punishment for them. From you she needs techniques, conversation, discussion, practice. She's old enough that if she thinks a little and is in a nonjudgmental situation (and knows she's not going to get punished), she could explain why she fidgets, why she talks, what's going on in the classroom (maybe she's smart enough that she's done already and she'd bored). Then you can help her understand why that's a problem, and help her think of things she can do to cut down on the fidgeting. Ask her the same sorts of questions you asked the teacher; her perceptions may give you valuable information. You may also need to say to the teacher, "I want you to TAKE the authority over this. I'll back you up as you deal with this." My daughter cries a lot, easily. I told the teacher, feel free to tell her "that's enough, you have to be quiet now" in a very brusque manner. "Be dismissive," I said. "Don't feel you have to be all sympathetic. Insist with some emphasis that now she must get ahold of herself. Be stern, even. She'll get over it. I'll never come back and say you were too mean to my weeping child. If that doesn't work, then of course feel free to change it, but you can enforce discipline in this area and I'll back you up." Maybe the teacher needs that from you. Because frankly they shouldn't be calling you the FIRST DAY of school because she doesn't settle down. If they can't handle a rambunctious 2nd grade on the first day, they do have a bit of a problem. By day 3, perhaps there's an indication of a pattern. Jeez, was she swinging from the fluorescent lights? I also think you would be within your rights to say to them, "please don't call me every time this comes up. What the heck do you think I am going to do that very moment? Write me a note, keep me appraised of her general progress at the end of each day, or every so often, and get off my back about each little incident. When she's willfully disobedient, when she hits someone, when she damages school property, THEN you can call me." I agree that the pattern is important, and that's part of the info you need to insist upon from the teacher--what's going on when she's talking out of turn or being too rowdy? Is she done w/ her work already and bored? Is she just at the beginning of an assignment and trying to put it off? Has she been sitting a long time and gets rowdy when she's allowed to get up and get in line? All of these things could be happening, each would have a different cause and each would have a different solution. The teacher MUST provide you with this information. If she's not willing to provide you with the background you need to act, then she has no business calling you with her complaints. No fair dumping the problem on you w/o info as well--that IS lazy. Also, talk to her first-grade teacher in person. These sorts of behavior patterns, if they're truly disruptive behavior, have their roots and indicators, and that teacher will have seen them if they existed. And since she coped w/ your daughter just fine, she may have suggestions for tactics that will work. The first-grade teacher may also have some insight into the second-grade teacher, which might help. Ditto, talk to the third-grade teacher WITHOUT the second-grade teacher around. Also, feel free to go to the school's guidance counselor and even eventually the principal--not to complain, but to ask for guidance and input, and essentially for the same question you asked us: Is this phoning-me-every-other-day warranted? What do you want of me? What are you expecting me to do because you call? I understand why they wouldn't let you come and see in secret, and I'd stop obsessing about it. Sometimes your presence in the classroom wears off (if you're really quiet), and your daughter will act as she usually does, so don't rule out a day of observation if they'll allow it.

OK More experiences of 2/3 loft over lower floor. Just tossing these experiences out there. We had new carpet put in the whole house and when the guy was repairing the floors upstairs all the hammering brought down scads dust and grit from all the years seeping into the cracks. There was tongue and groove two by 6's or 8's for flooring. The lower floor did feel a bit closed in by the ceiling above. I believe the ceiling was a bit short of the norm. There were no side walls as ML suggested to give better ceiling height in loft. There was no way to hang pictures on the loft walls except the one end wall. They slanted too much. Since we did not have to worry about heating with the hot spring water available I have no idea on the added energy costs. A person could always hang a heavy draw curtain across the loft opening when not in use to control heat loss from below. Would have to be custom made but us sewers could figure out how to do it. I am terrified of heights but planes do not bother me other then now all the bother to board. I have pretty much given up flying. Not to mention the 90 mile drive each way to and from airport. The only place to fly to for me would be to see my Mom and it is also a 90 mile drive to airport and back on her end. I might as well drive the whole way. LOL I went through exactly what you are going through Sandy. I had some more limitations because once we chose the manufactured home that would fit our lot I had to work within that floor plan and only had the options of adding stretches and moving windows and the closet thing I explained before. then the master bath switching it up from glamor bath to half glamor bath. I really would have liked a larger laundry room. but this one works fine. I just fold laundry wherever it lands and I do use the line to dry the clothes most of the time so they come off the line and end up in master bedroom on bed to fold. We had another model house chosen at first in fact there were two other models and one I liked better but the added 20K put the bite in things. And there were issues with it in the living room arrangement. There just seems to be give and take. I think you have already written down all the things you want. I just do not think you can ever make it all perfect. What is pretty funny is the house we built took us one evening, a couple of hours, to draw up the plans. Was totally simple. We later decided if we had moved the master bedroom door over to the other end of the room it would have been so much better and still could have been done with out too much trouble. But we never bothered to do it. We were so happy in that house. Was a small house too. We built exactly what we drew up. That house would not work for me now. I am really happy with this house plan. We both are. It is a very comfortable house to live in for us. I do not remember what your SQ FT was going to be. Was it 1200? If so that was a little too small for me as we had it in the last house. Just the lay out here and the added 100 SQ FT helped to make this house work. AND at the last 1200 SQ FT house I had an added out side pantry of 8 by 6 and then my shed space of 10 by 16 and that would add up to more than we have here and it did not work. So it is not always the size that matters. I think it is the lay out. There used to be manufactured home sites on line with scads of floor plans. I looked at them for weeks taking things I liked and things I did not like. One place we chose we had to make so many changes to it it turned out we were better off not getting it at all. Add in we had a special roof snow load we had to adjust for. There were restrictions on how open we could go. I do not think you have that there. Here it is required 85 pound roof load. We have 120 on the house and 100 on the shop just so we do not have to shovel the roofs. You might want to back off just for a few days on this thought process. Like trying to balance the check book that is off 15 cents and you can not find it. Step away from it and when you come back a day or three later you see the mistake right away. Just a thought. You have my sympathy this is so stressful. Chris