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Is it time to end this relationship???

14 years ago

Ok...I have posted on other forums on gardenweb before about my relationship situation.

I'm 32, divorced with an estranged 10 year old daughter. I have been in a relationship with someone for 3 years now. We lived together for 2 years and we were engaged to be married and now we are living apart and see each other a couple of times a month. He became a full-time stepdad last year to his twins who are 7 years old. I could not handle the change that taking on the twins created between him and I so I moved into an apartment by myself.

My problem is...I don't know if I should just let go of what is left of our relationship or try to build it back up. I know that I will never be comfortable with being a full-time step-mom to his children. I went into the relationship not knowing that their mother was going to give them up the way she has. Also...the other issues revolve around money. My ex-fiance lied about money on a couple of occassions and had a porn problem that he also lied about. We are 3 years into this relationship and by now I saw us married, buying a home and maybe even having a child together. As I said I live alone now and he lives with his kids. We speak on the phone everyday and he comes over every other weekend to stay with me. He claims that he still loves me and wants to still get married one day. Part of me wants to believe that our relationship can turn around and get better but then part of me doesn't know if I want to risk trying for the fear of being hurt and wasting my time. I have already put 3 years into this-don't want to put more if it isn't worth it. He isn't all times he is caring and concerned but when it comes to why I can't be a step-mom to his kids etc he gets upset and pulls away. I have reasons that I can't handle his kids...1# I have major problems with mine. She has cut me out of her life because I divorced her dad. The pain and hurt that it has caused me has taken a toll on me for the past 4 years now. I can't play mommy to someone else's children. My heart won't let me do it because I miss my own child so much. Plus his children are hard to handle-boy and girl twins-7 yrs old. I am not trying to be selfish about it that is why I moved out to live on my own because he needs to not feel like he is always picking between me and them. They come first and he needs to be with them. He keeps hanging on though hoping that things will get better and I don't know if I will be truly happy if I were to marry him.

I don't know what to do anymore!!

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