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I was just curious as to how it's done in other areas. Here it's typical for the maid of honor to take care of it or the Mom. I just typed a big long thing but I'll attempt to shorten. BIL is getting married this summer. Future SIL I'll call *Maggie* has three bridesmaids (me being one of them) and the maid of honor. MOH is her (only) friend, of course I'm the future SIL and the other two are actually the wives of BIL's friends. None of us know each other well. They had a gathering shortly after we were all asked so we could meet. We've been emailing details back and forth about the bridal shower. I (we - DH too) can only be around Maggie in small doses. She has a I'm better than you attitude, etc. and sucks so far up MIL's rump when she's around it makes me want to gag. We've paid for all the normal stuff but this shower is costing lots of money. I guess the MOH shouldn't have to pay for it herself. My best friend and Mom paid for mine. My MOH (sister) was living across the country at the time. IMO, Maggie's Mom wants to be so involved (another long story)how about she participate somehow in this shower. MOH wants to do a "special bridesmaid gift". So now I get to pay for a bridal shower gift, special gift, wedding $$$ gift. Oh, don't forget the bachelorette party! MOH suggested we pack it up and head to the beach. Um, no thank you. I would feel different if we were all great friends. If I'm going to pay to go on vacation I'll go with DH. Money doesn't grow on trees in my backyard. Games? Oh can't wait. Maggie picked them out too. Nothing like a good surprise. In the end we'll all keep our mouths shut, smile, and it will turn out fine. :)

I'm w/ Sweet Pea10. esp. about the church showers held for the bride by church members. If you think the ladies at your church might expect to participate in a shower regardless of whether they're invited (if you went to my church, some of them would), then figure out who the unofficial "social chairman" is and ask her what she thinks. The ideal would be if she says, "yes, we should have a shower," and then she hosts it, and you offer as much logistical help as you can. And I'm curious--is your sister not having the ceremony at the church? Or is it the RECEPTION that will be in your home? Because....if the wedding is in the church, I think the church members are sort of automatically invited to the ceremony, even if they aren't invited to the reception. Your sister could even send an invite to the congregation (or post it on the bulletin board) for the ceremony itself. In my church, when we've thrown "church ladies" showers for someone, we sometimes invite the bride's & groom's immediate female relatives, if they live in town. And some other friends, perhaps. And Emily Post says, about whom to invite to the shower: "When a wedding is very small--restricted to family only, and p erhaps with no reception--thecouple may be given a shower to which friends are invited who would have been included at al arger wedding. The shower, in this case, almost takes the place of the reception, and the shower gifts are given instead of (rather than in addition to) wedding gifts."

My 10 year old SS is also standoffish and shy and keeps to himself. He does this to everyone and has since he was 4 years old. That is his personality and that is your SS personality. As well my ss does have low self esteem issues and he does blow up at times as well. But he blows up at his mother and father. WHne he does run to his room screaming and crying its usually me who has to calm him down. I dont think you did anything wrong and asking your husband. It concerns you but i wouldn't let it bother you so much. THis is your SS personality. What i would do though is watch him closely for outbursts and be prepared. Its obvious he has anger issues towards his own mother. Not you or his father. Is he seeing a councilor after his outburst with his mother? Are you planning ot have children? As for him being more quiet...how about asking him for help in wedding plans. I got my Skids involved with suits, picking colors, picking flowers..chekcing on the internet for me. It turned out to be alot of fun and they felt their opinion counted. And it did cause they were part of my wedding and i wanted to know they'ld be happy with styles and colors they were going to wear. The thank you cards afterwards had all of us. My husband , me , his kids in a photo which i sent to 120 guests. And my SD speech at the wedding made the entire hall be in tears. So you know...there are days i'm angry at her but there will always be ups and downs in any relationship. This will happen with your SS and since you know he's the quiet shy type i wouldn't push him. I didn't push my ss and still dont. You cannto force any relationship and yes the ship has sailed but if he's told your husband to be that he likes you....then dont push anything more. Your husband should just reassure him that he's part of a new family now.