Boy Joules, that really sucks. I should count my blessings that none of my friends are in that situation. I have been on the other side of the fence. (twice actually)I was the significant other during an affair. It really hurt when I finally found out. When I was married, or otherwise in a relationship, I would never have actually gone out looking to cheat. Yes, I have flirted around, but they all knew it was just me being silly. I will admit, I have cheated once, 15 years ago and,although this does not absolve me of the wrongness of it, it was after I had found out that my wife had cheated on me twice, in our own home and bed, while I was working 2 jobs, trying to keep up with all of the bills. I have never done it after that, and have no intention of ever doing it again. I firmly believe that if they cheat once, they will do it again. (okay, call me a Hypocrite) I know, that is why I left my wife after the 5th or 6th time she cheated on me.
To put it bluntly these are not friends worth having if they can't accept a "duh!!, what are you thinking?"
On a side note, maybe these gals just need to meet a powertoolgeek, who is single, to be able to move on and leave the married guys alone with their wives. ;p

Mike

Nothing makes a man more attractive then already having a woman on his arm.

How'z it goin', joules?

I'm with Mike as far as what to say:

they aren't getting it on their own, & you're not telling them any different.

sounds like it may be time for "duh, what are you thinking?"

We women are incredibly ready, even eager, to believe anything wonderful our beloved tells us.
Even if it don't make no sense.
Even if we wouldn't believe it from anybody else in the universe.

Who knows why? Maybe some perverse little joke nature plays on us (Mother Nature really *does* have a twisted sense of humor), maybe to make us stay close to some big male no matter what, so that our offspring have his protection.
Who knows?

But I do know that your friends aren't the only girls/women who've gotten into this kind of mire & had someone make fools of them.

Best luck, &, whatever happens, I hope you find words to reach them & strength to help them.

sylvia

Having been on the receiving end of interest from married men whose wives don't want to have marital relations (gee, if their wives don't want to why should I?) or "don't understand them" I have to say I don't want someone else's cheating man! I'm not talking separated or estranged but gutless wonders who won't change anything in their lives either to fix their marriages or leave them but want to hang onto status quo (and the warm spot in their wives' beds) and still get some on the side. No thanks. I have a certain feminist loyalty going on as well. I wouldn't want it done to me.

My words to one who suggested it: "No. I will get hurt. Your daughter will be forever damaged. Your wife will get hurt. You will feel huge guilt. Once you abuse trust, it can rarely be repaired, your marriage will be ruined. It's against your religion. And I don't want a cheating man." Subtext: Stop thinking with your nether region. Also said: "If you packed and walked out tomorrow and ended your marriage, it will still be two years at least before you will have processed the emotional upheaval, had a fling or two and be ready for me."

Further more: It's just wrong.