skip to main content

The Single Life

Online Matchmaking

18 years ago

Just wondering. Has anyone here tried the match-making places online such as e-Harmony? I know several people who have tried it with mixed results.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (18)

kayjones
18 years ago
I joined plentyoffish.com, a free site. I have corresponded with some very nice guys on there. I'm not ready to get in to the dating scene again, but the men on there seem honest and nice. I've never 'paid' for a date!
gabrielesgarden
18 years ago
i met my current BF of 13 months on singlesnet.com.

It's a free site also to some degree. You can make a profile and post a pic, and you can make contact with paying members and they can make contact with you if you are not a paying member, but two non-paying members can not make contact.

I talked to a few people on email, never as far as on the phone except with someone it turned out I knew from 20 years ago. Other than that, the only person i talked to on the phone and met is my BF.

I took the time to take the e-harmony test only to find out it was over $200....no way way I gonna pay that, or afford it for that matter.

I dont like the whole dating scene, and I really hope this one works out. It would be nice if he was the last! :-)
Related Discussions
Differentiating between hybrids and GMOs
Q
Comments (16)
I know where you're coming from Macky. I too noticed a lot of confusion on the part of otherwise thoughtful people when it comes to understanding hybrids vs. GMOs. It seems obvious to those of us who plant gardens and save seeds, but to those less versed in agricultural arts and science, it's not obvious at all. I attempted to address this confusion in one part of my book Garden Imperative. I have a whole chapter devoted to the GMO debate, the opening paragraphs of which are copied below. I hope this is useful: "As if the worries over chemical toxins and pathogenic microbes aren't enough, consumers are faced with a new concern about the safety of the food we eat. That concern is genetic modification, and it has been garnering a lot of headlines in recent years. The background explainer on the whole GM conversation as it relates to fruits and vegetables is this: Gardeners, farmers, and plant breeders have been subtly toying with the genetics of food crops for thousands of years, by selecting specimens with desirable traits and using those to produce seed for the next generation. Mutations are fairly common in nature, common enough at least that every once in a while a plant spontaneously updates its genetic blueprint with a trait that we humans find appealing. Ever since the Agricultural Revolution roughly 10,000 years ago, when human beings finally started to settle down in large numbers, leaving their nomadic traditions behind them and for the first time raising their own food, human selection of plants has resulted in a vast and deep food-crop gene pool with tremendous variety. For hundreds of generations, the process went something like this: A farmer or gardener, having saved seeds from year to year or perhaps having bought or bartered them, plants his fields in the spring. Occasionally, natural mutations occur, and this farmer may discover that something he planted did not grow quite as he expected. In fact, it may have grown better than he expected. Perhaps it was a certain squash that resisted the onslaught of mildew when all the other squashes failed. Perhaps it was a single tomato plant which produced better tasting fruits than the others. Maybe it was an onion that lasted in storage until March, when all the other onions had rotted by January. Whatever the case, this farmer decides to save seeds from this particular specimen and replant them the following year. Thus a new variety is born. These genetically unique strains of plants are commonly referred to these days as "heirlooms" or "open pollinated" varieties. The only Genetic Engineer here is God; the only forces at work are those of the natural world. Man's only role has been to recognize the gift and preserve it by saving seeds for the next generation. Mutations don't happen every day though, at least not obvious ones with market value. Growers couldn't depend on regular mutations to deliver them all the characteristics they desired in their fruits, vegetables, and herbs, so they had to get more creative. Hybridization is the process of crossing the genes of one parent with those of another in the hopes of getting the best attributes of both. This is typically done simply by playing match-maker to two different plant parents, transferring pollen grains from one flower to another and then letting nature take its course through the plant's own methods of sexual reproduction. Hybridization is sometimes confused with genetic modification, but they are two very different processes. There's nothing any more objectionable about hybridization in plants than there is in humans, which is to say it's not objectionable at all unless you object to your parents' genes crossing to hybridize you. Hybridization allowed growers to combine disease resistance with improved flavor, larger size with better shelf-life, consistent time to harvest with better performance in droughts, interesting colors with interesting shapes. Seeds from hybrid plants often don't produce plants with the same traits as their parents, but that inconvenience was overcome by simply making more hybrid seed. Human selection of plants with desirable mutations and the subsequent practice of hybridization have, over the millennia given us the vast array of selection we now have among fruits and vegetables. Yet human ingenuity in tinkering with nature didn't stop there, and the new frontier in plant breeding is now genetic modification. When scientists discovered that they could take a portion of the genetic code from one organism and transfer it into a completely different one, and that the host organism would subsequently take on some of the traits of the parent, new commercial applications including exciting new possibilities in agriculture began to take shape. Recombinant genetics quickly caught the attention of big business too. Companies recognized potentially enormous profits, not just in the abstract science of tinkering with genes, but in the applied science of creating new organisms that had commercial value. No longer was agriculture limited to the gene pool shared by any one particular species. With recombinant DNA technology, the gene pool got a whole lot larger. Genes could be spliced and diced into food crops to confer pest and disease resistance, extend shelf life, improve flavor and nutrition, and make crops immune to the effect of chemical herbicides. Science and industry together touted GM foods as the answer to world hunger, a miracle that would make crops easy to grow even in impoverished nations, while at the same time reducing dependence on toxic pesticides. While some began to question the safety of these new products, corporations charged forward, pouring huge amounts of money into their continued development." Here is a link that might be useful: Garden Imperative
...See More
Reflections on online dating...
Q
Comments (10)
Having been experimenting with the online dating connection enough to have a few reflections of my own, I decided to Google the phrase, "reflections on online dating". Whala! Found your post and was heartily amused. I'm afraid my dabbling does not offer a harvest of such outrageous (and funny) anecdotes. However, I can certainly relate and find your post an inspiration to use my pen to at least document the crazy world of dating in the new millennium. Thanks a bunch for the chuckles! Hope a few of your dates have been more than fodder for the humor-mill [wink].
...See More
Bad experience with HomeAnnex.com
Q
Comments (5)
eeek. I bought my Shaw's sink from Home Annex last December. At the time, the Shaw's were on back order and you couldn't get them anywhere. The sales rep promised to put our name on the "top of the list" and I was skeptical. But we actually got the sink earlier than promised. (Also ordered a Franke air switch unit from them with no problem.) Sorry to hear about your troubles. I feel like I might have dodged a bullet.
...See More
Roses That Need To Be Grown More Often
Q
Comments (47)
I wrote a long reply to thank everyone over a week ago- twice!- and it evidently disappeared into cyberspace because it never arrived here. I could comment on other posts but not this one. Also, the little "back" arrow that returns me to the top of the page disappeared from my screen for a couple of weeks. It's enough to give me a complex! The arrow is now back and functional so I'll try again. Thank you for your kind wishes for Katie, our foster Sheltie. She was feeling much better after several days. Katie has a tendency to eat things that aren't food. I try to be vigilant but Katie is quick and stealthy. About all the wonderful pictures and suggestions- many thanks for these. You've enabled me- and many others, I hope- for years to come. I had to look up a few of these on HMF. I hope that they will be commercially available in the future for everyone who can find some space. I've had Charles Walker Mignonette from my last order from Vintage before it closed. It's a super little polyantha, my first rose to bloom this spring, super healthy, hardy, darling pompon white flowers blushed pink in cool weather, generous bloomer and tough. Mine survived having the bird feeder fall on it twice and, while it's shorter and wider, it's none the worse for wear. I hope more people will find a little room for this one. It doesn't take much. I've had Lady Ann Kidwell, Souvenir de St. Anne's, Gruss an Teplitz, Madame Berard and Bouquet Parfait on my wish list. I'm sharpening my pencil to add Schmidt's Smooth Yellow, Mme Laurette Messimy in whatever form, Pompon de Bourgogne, and if we ever buy the neighbor's and demolish the outbuildings, Ghislane de Feligonde and r. mulliganni boulenger. Also Old Gray Cemetery Noisette. Nobody mentioned this one but they should. BTW Grandmother's Hat is in Annie's Annuals and Perennials catalogue. It says that GH is their most popular rose! I have no idea how many they sell, but it sounds like at least a few people were convinced to give it a try.
...See More
sayhellonow
Original Author
18 years ago
Both of you have said the same thing I think: I hate dating, per se! It's fun up to about college age, but then it really gets tiresome, IMHO anyway.
kayjones
18 years ago
Deb, I LOVE to get dressed up and go out dancing with a man-friend, but I'm just not ready yet. My husband died April 17th, 2007 - it's just too soon, emotionally, for me. When the time is right, it will happen - just not right now.
newgardenelf
18 years ago
DH and I met on yahoo--emailed for a few weeks, talked on the phone for several more, met, dated for two years and have been married for five years this October!

You most definately have to be careful and will meet some duds but overall everyone I met was nice just not the right fit until DH!

Good luck!
sayhellonow
Original Author
18 years ago
kayjones: I'm sorry to hear about your husband. It has only been a year, and when you lose someone like that it does take a very long time to even think about someone new in your life. Been there too. And you're exactly right in saying you will know when the time is right.
kayjones
18 years ago
Deborah, thanks for your kind words. It has been a very emotionally tough year for me and my stepson (Gary's son). Joseph is graduating this Saturday evening, and everyone is so sad that Gary couldn't be here to experience it with him.
jeaninwa
18 years ago
This sounds like one in a million, but I met my BF on Craigslist. Yes, in the personals. And yes, there are ALOT of scuzzies on there, so you have to be very very careful. We'll have been together a year come Memorial Day weekend. I'm moving in next month. So, I'm here to tell you it does work.
kayjones
18 years ago
Jean, my question would be: why aren't you his wife, with all the spousal benefits, if it's working so well. I don't meant to be offensive, but I have to wonder.
gabrielesgarden
18 years ago
Why rush into marriage? And at this age and level of life experience (for me anyway, I dont know how old or young Jean is) I personally think only 1 year of being together is too soon to live together. But that's just me. The first year of a relationship is always the best. Dont they say you really dont know somwone until you've lived with them?
kayjones
18 years ago
Gabriel, IMHO, if you are living with someone, and something happens to that someone, the person is screwed! The person who just lives with someone is left without anything.

It is very inexpensive and easy to get a will and power of attorney, for health and financial reasons, and marriage just cements that commitment.

The family can challenge a will, but when you are married, and your name is on everything, they can't do anything but cry!
terrig_2007
18 years ago
I was lurking and saw this post and had to comment. I am married to a wonderful man. We met on cupid.com. We both were paid members. We emailed for a week or two, then talked on the phone for a week or two, then had our first date, and the rest, as they say, is history! We've been married for about 1.5 years. I have friends who met their mates on online dating sites too. It can work, but you have to be careful. There are a lot of oddballs out there. I know because I dated a few before I met DH!
jeaninwa
18 years ago
Why aren't I his wife? Dang, I've been there, done that.
I'm not with him for the bennies.
I'm 51 and so is he.
A year is too soon? I could give examples of couples I know who married after knowing each other only a few months and are still together 30 years later, and I could give examples of others that knew each other for ages and then got married and found out they couldn't stand living together. So, that's not really a valid argument for me. We love each other, and if it doesn't work out in the long long run, then so be it.

our cat's get along well too.....lol
sayhellonow
Original Author
18 years ago
I don't think time alone has anything to do with whether or not a relationship works. I've known people who got married three weeks after first meeting, and have celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary. I also know of people who've been together for years, then get married, then divorced. I think it depends on the individuals and their levels of commitment to the relationship.

After about age 50 or so, I think people become afraid of lawyers and divorces and deaths because of what they have accumulated. In my case, I want my children to inherit my home and savings when I die. My BF is the same way. We have discussed marriage and living together, but have not come up with a plan we think might work. I am almost ready to move out to the country and just live only with myself for the remainder of my life. I don't know... the company would be great, but I wonder if I'm just a big chicken.
jeaninwa
18 years ago
Kayjones, from reading other threads, I see you have personal experience in both situations. Congratulations. I bow before your expertness. You learned something. Good for you.
kayjones
18 years ago
Jean, I was married for 12 years, then divorced. I was divorced 25 years, then married again and lost him to cancer last year. I met a terrific man here on Gardenweb, and we had a whirlwind/wonderful LD relationship, which I will always cherish. Yes, I have experienced ups and downs in my relationships, but wouldn't trade the learning experiences for anything. I am a stronger woman for having been with these guys.
walksalone
18 years ago
Incrementally, Kay, you were involved in a live-in relationship for 16 years, in those 25 "divorced" years?
kayjones
18 years ago
Walks, where did you get that erroneous information re: my live-in years?

Related Stories

DECORATING GUIDES 12 Ways to Style Your Interior Photos Like a Pro

By Becky Harris

For great home photos, declutter, prop well, and tell a little story

FURNITURE 10 Reasons to Love Big, Comfy Sectionals

By Laura Gaskill

With their soft lines, visual heft and casual versatility, modular sofas are a great choice for many rooms

Sponsored

NME Builders LLC

2 Reviews

Remodeling Company in New Albany, Ohio