Lurker here, but I feel for you! Our kitchen is an addition, so luckily our existing kitchen won't be touched until the new one's done. But we had the foundation poured last March and we're still not done.

We are "GCing" this ourselves to save money, so we've hired out and scheduled all the subs. So our inexperience (we're not professional GCs) has made this a slow process.

We had the drywall done in late February and then not much was done for weeks. You know what "got the ball rolling" again? Two things: our cabinets arrived at the warehouse in early April and the KD said they needed to be delivered by the end of May. Then DH asked me what I wanted for my 40th birthday in May. I said, "All I want is for my kitchen to be done and to have our friends/neighbors over for a happy hour." Well that got us into gear!

In the last few weeks we've been in high gear - paint colors picked and painting finished, appliances delivered and patiently waiting in the garage, base cabinets in, granite templating next Monday, window/door trim Tuesday, fireplace stone/hearth being done end of next week... you get the picture. I don't think it'll be 100% done by the 30th, but close enough to have our friends over.

To add to the stress, I dropped a diamond stud earring down the bathroom sink and when DH took the pipe off under the sink to get it out, the entire pipe came off at the wall. So in addition to trying to finish a kitchen, he's decided that's a sign to remodel the original late-50's hideous bathroom. The ONLY bathroom on the first floor, the bathroom guests use when we have a party! God give us strength!

So anyway, pick a date this summer for a party and work towards that - worked for us!

Kim

All I can do is commiserate with you. We built a modular in June 07, moved in Labor Day thinking everything but master bath (and all the unstained woodwork) was done. Since then we've torn up and replaced the DR floor (defective material from HD), replaced 60 sf of tile (and more is coming loose), had the ceilings retaped, skimmed and repainted, some of the walls had to have sections of drywall cut out and replaced to float over studs that were high or low and cracking the seam where they were nailed. That was all in early 08. It seems like we haven't done anything (except get baseboard up in all the upstairs except the hall - I'm waiting to finish off the stringers and have to decide how to transition to baseboard) for almost a year. My aunt and uncle came over at Valentine's Day and he commented on how long it was taking - frankly, I don't even notice the lack of trim around my kitchen doors (windows I notice b/c of insulation sticking out), we've lived with it so long.

It seems like whenever I want to finish something (like replace the door casings that were cut too short in the kitchen, or get the FR baseboard nailed up), there is something else that needs to be fixed first (like the tile, or skimming out the walls so the baseboard lies flat since they built up the inside and outside corners when they mudded).

DH and I have gotten into some really big fights about finsihing/fixing things - he says "hire somebody" and I yell back about people not returning my calls, coming to size up the job and then never getting back with an estimate, or just not trusting people to do a good job (like flooring guys). The one carpenter I trust is my cousin and he's got a day job, so I have to wait on his schedule, all I can do is try to prep the walls (skim, sand, paint) before he puts the baseboard I've already stained up, pull out the insulation and put in low-expanding foam before he puts the window trim up (and then when he does go to join it up for tight corners, he finds the wood is twisted or bowed, or cut too short, and he has to cut new pieces and I have to stain them so there's a delay).

I can't even tile a backsplash to hide the gap at my wall, since the builder didn't make the overhang consistent all the way around the "L" so we have to replace the counter (17 linear feet) before we tile - I don't want to spend $1000 on tile just to have it damaged trying to replace the counter later. So we'll just wait til the countertop and sink are trashed and then replace it all at once (incl. the island countertop I got to match, cost me $1500 last year for 9ft of laminate b/c of the shape).

I'd love to hear how to get things moving again, instead of just chipping away at things, if anyone has any suggestions.

I feel for you. We are total DIY. My husband has done the electrical, plumbing, framing, and now he and our his best friend who is a GC will build the cabinets on Sunday. We wouldn't have been able to do it all without his best friend but he can only work on Sundays so talk about s..l..o..w. He is also doing it all for free so I can't even make a peep! OH and throw a 2 year old and a 6 year old in the mix. My kids have stepped on nails, the backyard is so full of cement, stucco, weeds, and nails my daughter can't get to her playhouse she can only cry and look at it through the window. It's a nightmare! I know it's worth it and I am so grateful to everyone who has helped us but I'm so sick of remodeling. We had just finished adding on a bedroom to our house and this was not planned. We wanted granite countertops and when we demo'd the old tile we found wood rot and had to tear down a wall so my husband and his buddy decided might as well make the kitchen bigger. :) YIKES! I really am grateful but I miss my husband on the weekend and I am going crazy being a stay at home mom and then my husband works on the kitchen all day Sat and Sun. and I get no help. I'm so done.

So, I don't think I'm helping you by complaining but I feel better having vented a little. :) All I can say is it will end and it is hard and frustrating. Concentrate on how much money your saving and how great to be able to say my hubby did this and I painted that and we did it together. Try and get through it and remember it will end! Don't let the stress ruin it and try and find something fun to concentrate on like new countertops or the harware you love, or the lighting and just stay focused and try to enjoy it.

I forgot to add go to your yoga place and enjoy it. Your a mom and you deserve it. Your kitchen is for everyone that yoga is just for you. Also it helped me looking at pictures and seeing how far we have come. Maybe stroll through the demo pics and remember how awful that was. :) Good luck!

Haha, well compared to that mine is moving at warp speed. Of course we started 2 months before our wedding and invited family over for brunch the day after. Talk about motivation!

For me, It would have been a huge Mistake to move back into the kitchen until I reached 90% completion. That would subliminally "send the message" that somehow I was "done", and I'd live that way indefinitely. I used my mini 'wet-bar counter kitchen' until 2 days before the "Party Date" I had set to invite people over.

I made a digital spreadsheet type schedule with all activities listed in order, weekly goals, items to shop for and purchase, decisions to be made, work to be finished etc. and literally held myself to it like I was on a contract. I focused on One item at a time that way, making everything less stressful on the brain, and adjusted only when necessary but basically held to it and gave a day off occasionally and some "extra" time" too.

Part fun, part work, but in the end All the benefits of DIY. I just needed to find the incentives: 1)Staying OUT until I was nearly done and 2) the List

laxsupermom and ajsmama-I thought I was the only one who, even though I don't have kids, cried and yelled like one anyway.

We are DIYer's, everything but the granite. We have been at it since Feburary 1, 09. I have personally vowed to never, ever do a kitchen again. This is the second kitchen DH (at times that does not mean Dear Husband) have done. The first time we were not married and it was his house. I did not have a lot of input. Amazing the things a wedding ring does as far as input. We did our kitchen in increments. First the desk area changed to the pantry/microwave/beverage center. Next, the pantry area changed to the refrigerator area. Next the range wall. Next the sink wall, only had to wash dishes in the powder room for 1 week. Lastly the island. I would say we are 85% done.

It has not been easy, especially on our marriage. At times I wonder if I will ever have any joy from this kitchen, since I can look at things and remember the arguement we had over stupid stuff. Sometimes just to avoid an arguement, I just kept quiet, then resented the fact that I kept quiet.
Anyway, I was feeling bad because it seemed like every DIYer here on GW never had disagreements, loved every suggestion made by their partner and kissed before they went to sleep.

I am glad to see I am not the only DIYer that gets upset over stuff.

laxsupermom-thanks for giving me the outlet to let some of that toxic stuff out.

My DH is actually keeping us on track. He's SO ready to be done with the whole renovation thing, and I promised him that if we moved the kitchen schedule up we could actually enjoy our summer, so he's all about working all weekend every weekend until the thing is done. Meanwhile, now that I can cook in the kitchen again, I have lost all motivation to do anything except oil my soapstone counters. The real hang-up will be cleaning the house one last time...I'm definitely going to have to schedule a party to get myself in gear!

Avid DIY. I should probably note that I'm the DIYer, I'm the DH and I'm the cook. So the remodel is definitely for me :) I'm also horrible about my time estimates, hence my log on as "overlyoptimistic". When I remodeled our first bathroom, I told DW it would take a month and I finished it 3 years later. What is worse is that I started the demolition a week before my son's birthday and his party was at our house. So DW knew that my estimates for our 4 room remodel were somewhat "off". It took us over a year to decide to remodel...

Prior to us starting, my closest friend and his wife went through a house remodel. Fair to say that they remodeled their house while demolishing their relationship. They ended up moving because the house became such a sore spot. But now that they have moved, the relationship hasn't healed and I worry about them all the time.

After watching that, DW and I decided to talk to a therapist/counselor prior to the remodel. That was her idea and it was probably the best money spent so far. That gave us some "tools" on how to work through the remodel as a couple. The therapist wasn't cheap, but it was cheaper than a GC and cheaper than a divorce lawyer.

One thing I have learned is that I get a lot of praise for working on the house. People see it taking shape (as do I) and I get the credit for that. DW, who watches our young children while I work, gets no credit. In reality, DW has the harder job. Not that I/she doesn't love hanging out with the kids, but it is easier with a partner.

We're both ready to be done and still have a long way to go. But we seem to be talking about the progress. I hate to make recommendations based on my circumstances, but perhaps talking to a therapist would give you a safe place to talk.

As you probably know already, we completely DIY'd our whole house, so I have your problem over 2700 sq ft! ;-) We've been in 15 months and months at a time go by without one little bit happening and it is frustrating. DH teaches, so I have some hope for the summer, but it goes by so fast and the projects we always think we'll accomplish could fill 3 summers...and he still has to work and take a class besides. All we can do, I guess, is tell you that you're not in this alone, and try to discuss it and work out a schedule when you're not yelling hysterically...It seems to work better. ;-)

PS Mother's Day was also my anniversary, and I didn't get a gift for either...or the progress on my garden, which is what I really wanted, so I've been a bit grouchy and sad this week myself....Enjoy your yoga GC!

We're right there with you! DIY-ing an entire 3500 sq ft house. We lived with my parents for all of 2008 while we were working on it and vowed not to move in until everything was done because we knew progress would come to a halt once we were in. In December, we decided to move in anyways with about 85% complete. We'll let's just say that essentially nothing more has has been completed since we moved in! Now a whole month will go by in a blink and we are so burn out, add in the empty bank account and no wonder we haven't done a thing in 2 months! Some days I just look around and see how many unfinished projects are left and it just makes me tired. I do love our house though and would do it all over again... Someday we'll get finished.

Holy cow, I didn't expect to come back to so many responses. I think part of the reason nothing has happened in the last couple of months is that I spend my whole day running to and from my kids' events. Thanks for all the commiseration, everyone. When I was hysterically shouting about the half-done room, I was really exaggerating. It's really more like 80% done. Obviously I apologized to my DH after pulling up my big girl pants and getting a firmer grip on things.

kimberlee - It never ends does it? One of the base pullout cabs came a hair out of square and Kraftmaid sent a new one to replace it. We decided that it would work out great in the laundry room for pretreater, vinegar, starch, etc. So a laundry room makeover is planned already even though the kitchen has yet to be finished.

ajsmama, I've been following your renovation(s) and I totally feel for you. You should definitely be documenting all the ways your builder messed up just in case you decide to go to court.

janjan, I'm glad you could vent. I'm definitely taking advantage of the yoga g.c. I think I knew I was being ridiculous even as I was flipping out, but I just couldn't stop myself. I suppose finding my center was definitely needed.

enginerd, We host a monthly card game for 30-40 people and entertain often outside of that. If having people over was a motivation to finish, we'd have finished a month after we started. But I think you're right that I need to pick a date to work towards. Maybe I can invite my sister up from NoVa. That might provide the proper motivation.

nalcar, your DIY is one of the superduper ones that I go back to often. I'm a spreadsheets kind of gal (you should see my camping packing list,) but DH, though he's a computer guy, is not. I can create a schedule for things that are solely mine(floors for example,) but tasks that are his (trim carpentry for one) or ours (electrical install, etc) can't be put on a firm schedule. Staying out was never an option. You have no idea how much I loathed doing dishes in the laundry tub.

kitchencommander, you are definitely not the only one who fights over the positively trivial. Although to be honest, it's mostly me blowing my top over something silly because I've been silently resentful while he looks on bewildered wondering why I'm suddenly acting crazy.

rmiriam, oiling soapstone is fun isn't it? I really can't keep my hands off mine.

overlyoptimistic I love how you praise your wife. I can see what a gem she has in you. DH is so laid back, we really don't fight per se. It's more me blowing off steam. If we ever do start actually fighting, I'd certainly consider therapy.

rhome410 Big Hug from upstate NY. My frustrations are really quite small in the scheme of things. What's funny is that I know yelling never provides the results you're looking for. This is why I don't yell at my kids. They honestly listen better when I drop my voice a bit. It's the old proverb : He strains to hear a whisper that can not hear a shout. For some reason I can't ever remember that when I'm frustrated with my DH. And I definitely appreciate the yoga and will use it and hopefully get a better handle on things. Happy anniversary, BTW.

janiek, the empty bank acct factors in a bit here too. We totaled my van hitting a deer 2 wks ago so we'll be spending quite a bit sometime in the next few weeks in order to replace it. We don't believe in car payments. I had finally been ready to place my backsplash tile order when it happened. The accent tiles that I fell in love with are $58 per 2"x10" tile. Darn expensive taste.

My DH and I have been working on our house for a couple of months now and it's really starting to wear on him. He's the kind of guy who doesn't plan on things going sideways so when the carpenter who was going to help us install our floors, crown and baseboard had to push us back two weeks it really got to him. Patience is not his strong suit. Now the guy is in a real bind because if he takes a week off to work with my DH and do our project he could lose a job that would last three years. And in this economy who can afford to do that??? My DH works/lives away from home for a week at a time and he's tearing his hair out wanting this to all be over. Me, I grew up on a farm so I know that you have to take things as they come and roll with the punches - crops don't come up on the day you say they should, mares don't foal at two in the bright, sunshiney afternoon, they foal at three AM in the middle of a rain storm. You just be thankful that you get what you get and deal with the rest. I expect things to go sideways and take longer than originally planned.

I live in the house full time so I deal with the mess and chaos a lot more than he does so I get annoyed when he whines about the house not being done. At the rate this is stressing him out I don't even want to do the kitchen anymore, I can live with butt ugly laminate and cathedral arch orange oak cabinets easier than a whiny, cranky husband. Sorry, just had to vent. I love my DH and wouldn't trade him for the world (but maybe for a soapstone counter and marble baking centre....) but when things don't go according to his schedule he does not handle it well.

What's getting me through all of it is seeing each little job get done. We've lost a little momentum but as long as I keep plugging away at my jobs I know progress is being made. Oh and keeping things as neat as possible helps too. If I treat the house like a disaster zone I feel I'm more apt to overlook the little details like having a plywood floor and no doors on the bathrooms.

Add me to the list of people stuck in DIY purgatory. We started December 22nd, 2007 with what we thought would be a quick 1 month face lift. Well, here we are May 15 2009 and it's *still* not done. I went for just over a year without a stove. Hubby finally installed that part but we still have no doors, drawer boxes with no fronts, an unfinished floor, refrigerator stuck in a corner of the dining room and lots of other things that still need to happen. I see it. Every day.

And that is just the first room of many that needs to be redone.

There's not much I can do to speed it along, either, as all of our energy is being taken up by caring for Hubby's mom, who is currently dealing with stage 4 metastasized cancer that has compromised her bones.

We're doing a DIY top-to-bottom remodel on a house that started out 3800 square feet and is now 4300. We started out estimating it to be a one-year project, then as we decided to expand the scope (e.g., add a bathroom and a laundry room upstairs) it became a two-year project, with our goal to begin on the 7 acres outside this Spring. Well, it's now Spring, and we're working on the outside, but we still have 3 rooms undone and a two-page punchlist on the ones we have almost done.

We don't yell at each other, and we work very well together, but as our lives have gotten busier our work has slowed. We were new in town when we started, so had every evening and weekend to work on the house. Now we have friends and obligations, and we're both working more hours, so the progress is slower.

The hardest few months was when we had 3 projects going simultaneously: Mr. Weedy was tearing down/putting up walls for the new bathrom, I was wainscoting and hardwood flooring the dining room, and we had a contractor building us the shell for a sunroom/breakfast nook addition (we finished the inside). So much of our house was torn up that furniture was doubled up in rooms and we ate on a table in our foyer for a couple months. That period of time was the toughest, because it was hard to find a clean place to relax (thank goodness we did the master suite first).

What has helped us keep our sanity:
1. With the exception above, we work one room at a time, though sometimes two if, for example, all Mr. Weedy's work in a room is done, I'm doing my part, and he starts the next project. We make ourselves finish 100% through the punchlist before moving on. It helps a lot mentally to have some completely finished projects.
2. We give tours of our remodel to anyone who stops by, and it's very gratifying have them ooh and ahh over the changes. That's motivating and reminds us of how far we've come.
3. When we've got guests coming, that has served to spur us into action to finish up a room. It has sometimes led to painting at 5am because the carpet's coming today, and we're exhausted, but it gets it done.
4. Blitz something. I'm taking Memorial Day week off to plow through the final 2 pages of punch list so I can work on designing our deck, which is our big summer project.

Good luck with everything.

Here is a link that might be useful: Weedy Acres Remodel

So far the only way that I've been able to focus and FINISH a house is to put it up on the market. Not going to happen anytime soon with this house, as the last move was painful with two young kids, dead of winter, catching every single cold virus known to humankind.

I should really make my to do list (and then invite my father up for a visit - the only person around here, including me, who will take my list and plow thru it in order!!!) Though my father will often ask, which item is the priorty, and I'll say, Shotgun approach - everything at the same time please!

"So far the only way that I've been able to focus and FINISH a house is to put it up on the market."

Oh, I know that scenario all too well! Lots of 'Why didn't we do this sooner?'s. Making things pretty to be good enough for someone else. I hope that's not the case this time!

I think I've got you all beat. It took 16 1/2 years to get our daylight basement finished. About 12 years ago we had the sheetrock, lights and ceiling tile (my husband did a tray ceiling to get maximum height around the HVAC ducts!). I then bought my husband a really nice table saw for our anniversary because our back wall had 2x6 studs and we had to build out the window trim. He said he couldn't put the nice saw in an unfinished space so we stopped everything to finish his workshop. I bought all the doors and trim wood about 10 years ago and he finally finished that and put in a full bath 2 years ago. It took me about 6 mos to paint everything and install the carpet tiles while he turned one room into a home theater.

I do planning, sheetrock, paint and wallpaper and I'm gopher/helper for him. I can't do my stuff until he finishes his and as soon as he gets close to finishing any project he finds something else that he "has to work on". We've got about 10 projects that are 95% done. It drives me insane! I must be certifiable to even consider doing the kitchen but no one ever does anything to his standards. I keep telling myself that we'll have time now that the kids are out of the house. Ha!

Laxsupermom,

I thought because we were doing a "Mini" renovation
that this would be done in a few weeks. No one told me
those beautiful elegant kitchens were born not made.
The Devil is in the Details is truth to any DIYer.

Never in a million years did I expect to be eating
cereal next to a miter saw. Find sawdust in my glass of
wine or loose my temper over an early delivery
of appliances. I had a dinner party of 20 guests and an
oven range sitting in my living room. The spotlights
really showed it to perfection.

I am a handy girl and can use a drill or saw but who knew
my arm would be worn out from sanding.

My kids have heard me swear like a sailor, loose it over
a crooked wall and battle my DH like crazy prison inmate
as though it were life and death. Dare I admit my insanity
by telling you the battle was over paint color.
Yes, I am that crazy DIY lady.

But there have been funny times too. They come in between
the hard work. My teen age son who is not a drug user
but rather spacey walks into the room after I had just
installed the painted cabs and turns to my husband and
says.

"I thought you said you were going to repaint the cabinets
before putting them back up. "

My DH had to hold me back from wringing his scrany teen
boy neck. It is now the family joke.

My teen daughters had a gaggle of girls over the house and
they invaded my unfinished kitchen. Leaving horrific
messes in every corner. I quickly began wiping up the
thick olive oil off the counter. Perhaps I did this with a
slight bit of annoyance. Noticing the rings of water under
their soda cans and cavalier way of treating my new kitchen
as their "Sorority" house.
I heard my daughter's snotty little friend stage whisper.

"Oh my mom flipped out over our new kitchen too."

Truly thank you for this topic. I just got home from one
lax game on to another later and needed to read the
kindred posts. IF you are taking up an official vote.
I ask that you choose me as the official President of the
crazy DIYer kitchens of GW club.

Truly trying to have a sense of humor between my
screaming fits has helped me get through this unfinished
kitchen.

~boxerpups

Yay for all of you for sharing this stuff.... I have been in tears more than I care to admit in the last couple weeks.... and feeling way too guilty about it (as I feel fortunate to have a new house and getting a new kitchen) to complain to my friends about it. So it is GREAT to hear I am not alone. Thank you.

When we bought this house, and eventually had plans drawn up to remodel the whole thing over time, I thought dh was joking when he referred to the plans as the "Ten Year Plan".
At the end of the summer, it will have been six years since we moved in...

I had to laugh the other day when I heard my almost 4 year old playing. She was "driving" the couch, her little sister, and their dolls. I asked her where they were going, and she said they were "driving to the cabinet for vacation".

I sure hope she likes our new kitchen cabinets, since renting a cabin for a week this summer is pretty unlikely to happen after paying for those new cabinets! Not to mention the countertops that we still haven't decided on...

The thing that put me over the edge recently was where to keep the kitchen stepstool. No, we did NOT plan a spot for it-I found gardenweb a little too late for that, and it just doesn't quite fit in any of the cupboards. Dh was so pleased when he found a "perfect" place to store it.

On top of the fridge.

ARgggghhhh. He didn't quite get why I didn't agree with his brilliant solution. Literally a case of having two different viewpoints, I guess.