My grandma taught my Mom who repeated it to me, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!" and... "If you look hard enough, you can find some good in every one." My Grandma (her pet name for me was "Obbie"...for some reason, I didn't pronouce "Grandma" and "Awe-bee" was the name she answered to when I was a small child. Even her neighbors & lots of friends called her "Obbie" throughout the years of my growing up. She was a "hired girl" on farms when she was a teenager...she was married and divorced at a young age...she was widowed after another marriage to my grandpa of 26 yrs...she worked in a bakery, she operated a cafe, she ironed clothes in her home for other families...she was always a HARD worker!...she passed that on to her 3 daughters & family. Here are some of my precious memories of my Grandma, Obbie that I wrote back in 1984 for a genealogy book my Mom created: In the back yard, Obbie had lots of flower gardens. I once found the cactus garden with my bare feet when I jumped a fence playing (where I shouldn't have been)! There were also lots of sour grapes, good ripe strawbeeries and lots of green apples. We were never without homegrown food at Obbie's. And, oh, that homemade jar of strawberry jam. Of course, inside the house, there were always homemade chocolate chip cookies. And on Sundays, the smell of Obbie frying chicken (that my 'grandpa butchered). Anyone was welcome to show up for Sunday dinner! Obbie taught me a few of the things every woman was supposed to know before growing up. The ol' treadle sewing machine put out lots of doll clothes and pin cushions. Crocheting chain stitches (by the miles). Obbie crocheted each grandchild an afghan for graduation. Never being bored at Obbie's, there were always old catalogs for cutting out paper dolls and clothes. (Ok, Gjers, I could go on & on...but I just want you to know that I was very blessed...I was a "crouper" as a child and finally outgrew it at 12 yrs. old...but my Obbie would always come running when I got sick...with "warm 7-up" and hugs. Anyway, I will end this post with a poem I wrote for this genealogy book (she died when my first grandchild was 4 mos. old): "My grandma, Obbie, always had time for her grandchildren. She was never too busy to forget us. I am the lucky one even to have had Obbie for my grandma... If I can be as strong, as you were strong, If I can give, as you have given, If I can be kind, as you always were kind, If I am loved, as you are loved, If I am cherised, as you are cherished, If I am mourned, as you are mourned, Then I can say..my life is truly blessed. Obbie passed on her love for gardening & flowers to me...as my grandpa did also...and my Dad. Here is a pic that I am so fortunate to have of my Grandma holding me in her backyard...I lived in the same household the first 2 yrs. of my life...and her LOVE shaped my life. Ahhh, pretty sentimental stuff...but I enjoyed all of your sharing and wanted to share a bit of this special lady! Thanks, Jeanne S.

She's young. She's 24. And I think that you're all right in a way. I appreciate the feedback - you've given me some words of comfort and good advice for my mother. I wish that there were some way to peacibly broach the subject with my sister, but from the minor probes I've done it wouldn't be too welcome. I'll just have to "hope for the best". I just spoke with my mother about it again and she says that my sister is probably just been feeling the stress of doing everything on her own. When she lived with my mother she had someone to help change diapers and everything, now she has to do them all herself. But I will definately share with her that she needs to learn how to let "Mom be Mom". I guess it's hard to switch from mom role to grandma role - I mean your child is your child no matter how old they are. My sister really is a good mom. She does try to do what's right. I am thinking that because she is a single parent that it doesn't SEEM like she has someone "on her side". And the baby is one of the happiest people I know. She kind-of reminds me of the Dali Llama - full of wisdom and laughter. LOL! I'll have to find the proud Auntie forum and post pictures. Thanks again!

Cuba was once a Spanish colony, so the name for grandmother is abuela. If she is petite, you could have her called abuelita, little grandmother. We lived in Germany a long time, so our grandsons call us Oma and Opa. Gives all the alternatives to the other grandparents.

I, too, am concerned about the dog situation. Perhaps I'm reading things that aren't there, but you said the dog was released from a pen--that sounds like it wasn't truly a 'house pet' kind of animal. Animals who spend a lot of time in pens often aren't as well socialized as those who spend all their time with the family and are much more likely to act aggressively. I'm sorry, but in a case like that, allowing the dog to run free around a 3-year-old when no one was apparently keeping an eye on the situation was a really, REALLY dangerous thing to do--the result was predictable. You also said that they sued your ins. to cover their medical bills and seemed to have a problem with with that--that's what you have insurance for. Why should the parents have footed the bill for damage your dog and your husband's carelessness caused? Your message seems to indicate that the little girl was pretty seriously hurt ('she's healed nicely' and the fact that their suit was apparently successful seem to indicate her wounds were fairly substantial). Actually, a dog bite is one of the easiest ways to get your home-owners cancelled--the companies consider that responsible pet owners have a duty to keep their pets under control, that bites are preventable. You seem to be blaming them for the cancellation--I don't know many young families today who can afford major medical bills, they probably did the only thing they could. You could, of course, prevented the claim, by offering to pay the bills yourself, right? Please consider how you would have felt years ago, if you thought someone caused harm and hurt to one of your children--you sound like you care about your children and would like to care about your gk--I imagine you'd have been pretty upset if someone else hurt one of them. Can you put yourself in the parents shoes and imagine how they might feel? I feel very badly that you're not getting to see your granddaughter as much as you'd like, but I do agree with the above poster. Some counselling would certainly be in order--for all the family--so that you can work out the many issues that your family faces. Good thoughts to you, your husband and the rest of your family. I truly hope you find the help you need to work this all out.