I think there are a lot of adults who still think P.M. stands for 'past morning.' LOL

The set up: 1) Couple weeks ago I let my 4th grader go to a school skate night without me for the first time -dropped him off and picked him up. Chaperoned by the teachers and only open to his school grades 3-6. 2) He has a girl (S) in his class this year and last year that he talks about A LOT.

So I picked him up from skating. He asked me what a 'couple skate' was. Said they did that at the rink but no one did anything different cuz no one knew what it meant. So I explained, then told him that was his chance to skate with S. "NO WAY" he says. I asked if she was there, yes. "What's the matter, doesn't she skate well?" "Does she has sweaty hands?" Just teasing him a little. Then the 6 y/o pipes up from the back...

"NO! Girls just stink. That's why you can't skate with them!"

My oldest DS just loves his 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. O'Neil. She's young, pretty, perky, and very kind. She is so patient with the kids and NEVER raises her voice.

A few weeks ago at Sunday School his class studied the Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have others do unto you).

Later that week, he said "Mommy, Mrs. O'Neil is the only person I know that always does unto others as she wants them to do unto her." It was so hard not to laugh because it was so cute!

OH! I can't believe this didn't come to mind first! Since we (Ohio natives, Floridians for 6 yrs) just moved to "the south" last year, and I'm an English teacher by education, friends and family have teased me about my kids picking up a southern accent.

On DS's birthday, just last month, he said to me after dinner, as natural as can be, "Are we FIXIN' to have some cake?"

My family would have paid money to see that moment and the look on my face! It was like he said a bad word. In fact, I told his teacher he learned "the F word" from her! FIXIN'! I know, everyone around here says it. Maybe you have to know me to see the humor in that. Now that he knows it bothers me, he says it all the time!

Great thread!

We are driving down a very hilly, curving country road. Hubby is probably driving a little faster than he should be. At the bottom of a particularly steep hill our 8 yr shouts from the back seat, "slow down, Dad! You're scaring my stomache!"

Kay.

I thought this was kind of funny...although i will never let on to her)I was getting in my car the other day with a cup of coffee in my hand when I spilled it and jumped up and yelled "sh.. on my seat" and my two year old is sitting in her car seat says"mom did you say sh.. on my seat" well you can just picture the look on my face!lolYou really have to watch what you say around them.lol

I have 2 from the same kid, now 6.

When he was 4 I wanted him to learn to swim. I told him that when he learned to swim he could swim for the rest of his life. He looks at me and says "Mom I don't want to swim for the rest of my life. I have other things I want to do."

Same child at 6 says he doesn't want to get married. He wants to stay with Mom forever. So I tell him that he can live here as long as he likes, but when he's a grownup he will have to do his own laundry. He looks at me with a quizzical look and he says "But you do Dad's laundry."

Ha.

Mommabear

Mommabear, those are classic! LOVE the dad's laundry line! I scared my kids I laughed so hard. He sounds like my 6 y/o, has an answer for everything and sometimes, when I really don't want it, he pays WAY too much attention to my exact words, then uses them against me!

He sounds very tuned in to language.

The child is a riot. I could probably write a book about the funny things he says. He is very tuned in to language. Much more so than my other 2 kids.

Mommabear

Well, my 10 year daughter's good friends don't celebrate Christmas, they celebrate "Harmonica" and she recently introduced me to a teacher's aide at her school as "Ms. Vanilla Wafer" (Ms. Villanueva). I thought she would have outgrown this by now, but I guess not!!

Friday my 5 year old came home with a hand made red ribbon pinned to his shirt. I asked him what the ribbon was for. He said to me in all seriousness..."Mom, it's for don't do scrubs."
SCRUBS?
Turns out with the help of my older son who attends the same school I figured out he meant "Don't do DRUGS!" The red ribbon is the symbol for the recogintion I suppose! I laughed so hard!!

This brings back funny funny times...

We have an area hospital called: PALOS COMMUNITY HOSPITAL.
Everyone just calls it PALOS. Our other major hospital is called CHRIST COMMUNITY HOSPITAL--called CHRIST by everyone here in this area.
So, my young son says to me, Mom was I born at Christ? Most of the kids in my class were. I said: No honey-you were born at PALOS....with a strange look on his face, he said: " Oh sure, like anyone is gonna believe I was born in a shoe store"....I never laughed so hard in my life!!!! Yes he was thinking PAYLESS .... not PALOS.

Once on the T.V. news it was said, 9 miners were missing when a hole they dug colapsed. My very young son turned to me and said: I don't think kids could dig a hole that deep! It took me a second to realize he mixed up miners for minors.....I tried to hold in the gut renching belly laugh so not to hurt his feelings, afterall we are not a mining town, so he made the conection as he knew best.
I still repete these stories--as I have a lot of them.
Radd

Three years ago our then 9-year old stepgrandson came to live with us. He has Asperger's autism and didn't communicate much. He had a great love for fresh sweet corn, so one Saturday while DH was at work, I surprised him with it for lunch.

He said, "So, Grandpa doesn't like corn, huh?" I replied, "No, he hates it" DGS responded, with a look of nearly horror on his face, "Where did you find that guy anyway, in the WOODS?" (He came from the open prairies of South Dakota and we live in a forested area)

This is great, I have a few...
When my son was 4 we were laying in our bed (he was between us) and the ceiling fan is right above the bed... he was watching go around then asked.. Dad if I was running is circles as fast as the fan was moving would it look like the fan was not on. Needless to say I just about filled my underwear. We knew he was smart but that was a wow... He will be 15 next month and he is a great kid, I love him more everyday.
My daughter who is 7 asked me the other day (I was working in the garage). Are you going to be working on something every single minute your awake. I told her yes... probably. I am building a cabin with my kids as well (5 year project). So I am always working on something...
Oh, yeh, another one from my now 14 year old. When he was 2 he stuck a small knife in the outlet... he screamed LOUD and with the burned tip I figured it out. I explained why he can't stick anything into the outlet. When he was 4 he did it again, but this time he went to his room and was crying.... I asked him what was wrong he said "Daddy I shook again". ( he had another butter knife in his hand).... He hasn't done it since......
Thanks Dave

Several years ago my son (three at the time) was spending the night with his grandmother. That morning his grandmother was prepared to fix him a big breakfast and asked him what he wanted. He replied, "A #2, please."
Guess we do fast food too often.

A few weeks ago we were at my DS house and he was playing around with my DGS who is 5 yo. My son did something to irritate the GS so GS turned to me and said "Now would be a good time for you to get on to him."

As a retired kindergarten teacher, I have quite a few but these three stand out as my all time favorites. Maybe because they took place in my first years of teaching.

The first is about the pledge. You know the part " and to the Republic for which it stands..." Well, the kindergarten kids relate to what they know and substituted "and to the Publix (a local grocery chain) for which it stands..." Certainly got my attention and reminded me that it is important to explain what the pledge is all about!

2. Next came during a conference that I had with a parent. We were going over areas that the child needed help in and one was identifying shapes. Using the proper term " an ellipse" instead of oval as I had been taught in college, the Mother laughed and said, "We have been working on all the basic shapes but I wasn't sure what shape "Annie's lips" (what her daughter was calling it) were supposed to be."

3. The third came from a child during my first year of teaching. PJ was having a difficult time learning his letters. But we kept going over them and it seemed like he would learn a few new ones but would forget some that he had known previously. Typical for a young child. Well, we were nearing the end of the year and I was getting anxious abut his being able to go on to first grade. (This was in 1977 and knowing the alphabet was about all they needed to master. How times have changed!)
Anyway, I was using flash cards with him one day and he kept getting each letter right. By the time I had gone through the deck of cards, he had only missed a couple. I was so proud of him, I asked him what he had done to learn them since the last time. He looked at me with a grin and said, "You told me I had to remember them. You never told me that before, so I would forget them when we were done!"

After that I made sure I always told my kids why we were learning a skill or concept. PJ would now be 34 years old. I am sure he remembers his letters but probably not me!

My friends and her son and I were playing games. Once, we were playing a game of ball. The child was being naughty and refusing to take his chance. So we both playfully caught him and put the balls (two) down his shirt and laughed.

Guessed, what he said "I have become a lady, I have become a lady". It took sometime for us to understand, for you see the balls got stuck in the chest and somehow positioned themselves in such a way, that they looked like breasts!

No wonder, it became a big joke of the day. What imagination and innocence, children have!

We live in Missouri, and a Kindergarten teacher at my daughters school had cancer over the summer and went to MD Anderson hospital in Houston for treatment. On the first day of school she told her students that she would be coughing alot, but she wasn't sick, and that she had been really, really sick but a man in Texas had saved her life. Then my daughter sincerly asked "Was it Walker Texas Ranger?" I think she watches to much TV with her dad:)

I worked for a major airline when my children were little. Each year I had to take a full day training course and test for re-certification. I was leaving in the morning and my daughter asked where I was going. I said, "Mommy has to go to training." My daughter looked at me and excitedly asked, "Are you going to ride the choo-choo mommy?"

We were at church. My son (age four or five) exclaimed, "Oh dam*! I left my sweater in Sunday school.

My daughter started half day kindergarten in a catholic school this fall. In August after she had been in school about 3 days she asked me, "mom, who are you rooting for?" I was wondering if she was talking about the Olympics or the election and ask, "What do you mean?" And she replied, "Are you rooting for God or for Jesus because I am rooting for both!"