Horrible situation! I truly think the first thing you need to do is talk to an attorney who specializes in construction law and construction loan financing. You need someone who knows the law of your jurisdiciton AND can fully understand the implications of the agreement you and your brother signed between you as well as all the paperwork you signed with the bank listing your brother as GC. Take copies of every single document you've signed with respect to the build with you when you go to see the lawyer...including anything related to your original land purchase. Also take copies of every lien release and bill you've received as well as every check you've written to pay people. Your lawyer may not need to see all of it but it'll be better(and cheaper) to have everything with you rather than having to send it to him later. Explain to the lawyer that, at this point, you don't want him to DO anything (no lawsuit, no letter writing, etc.) You just need guidance on the implications of firing your brother as GC and you want to know what you can/should do to protect yourself from further harm as you carry out that process. The lawyer should be willing to assist you on an "hourly basis." Be prepared for sticker shock re his hourly billing rate! But, if you get the answers you need while you are WITH the lawyer you can control how much time he bills you for. Do NOT agree to him doing "research" and "getting back to you" unless the amount of time he will bill you for that research is strictly capped. (The last thing you want is an unexpected attorney bill!) Among other things, before you fire your brother, your lawyer will probably tell you that you need to make sure that you have lien releases from him AND from all subs that he has had do any work on your property...otherwise he and/or his subs can file liens against your home making it impossible for you to get a mortgage when you're done building it without first paying off those liens. The lawyer should be able to provide you with a standard lien release form that is used in your jurisdiction. And he can explain exactly how the documents need to be filled out and what to do with them once they are filled. You'll probably also have to talk to your banker and get his approval for you to take over as GC... assuming you are even allowed to to that in your state. In some states anyone can GC their own home. In others, you have to have a builder's license to build/remodel a residence. In states that require a license, some just require you to pay a fee and show that you don't have any felony convictions. In others, you have to actually undergo a certain amount of training first. And, even if your state will allow you to be the GC, many banks don't like having owner-builders as clients. So, you may have no choice but to hire someone else to act as GC. If so, see if some company like "Owner-Builder Network" or "Help You Build" or "You Build It" operates in operates in your state. They will often step in as putative GC although they do charge a fee for the service. Assuming your state will allow you to GC your own build, your lawyer can give you guidance on how best to deal with your banker to get him/her on board with you taking over. Firing a builder can be tricky. I know. I've been there and, although I AM a lawyer, I don't practice construction law and I made a couple of expensive mistakes that I'm still dealing with more than 2 years down the road. Furthermore, firing your brother will be even trickier because even if, at this point, you're ready to write him off your Xmas list and out of your will completely, I'm sure you do want to preserve your relationships with other family members. A fight between you and your bother WILL affect those relationships b/c family members can't help but take sides. After you've talked to a lawyer and know all the legal ramifications, the next step would probably be to talk to your brother and let him know that this deal is not working for you the way you thought it would. I'd try taking the tack that I'm afraid it is going to do harm to our sibling relationship and that perserving that seems far more important than continuing to try to do business together. It may or may not work. Good luck and keep us posted on how things turn out.

I think the house will look great with all shingle siding, high quality 6 over 1 or 4 over 1 windows like in the drawing, the garage doors on the side, and substantial, well-proportioned decorative trusses under the gables. I think (except for the siding choices) the photos where these elements are missing look much worse than the elevation drawing. If you are looking for simple and timeless I think the roof lines might be a little busy and the decorative trusses might be a bit much, but in 2008 they look good to me. re: those dream picures I like them too. Unofortunately I don't think you will achieve that effect if brick siding strains the budget. A poster called allison0704 (?) built a gorgeous home that reminds me of you photos. She achieved that effect, but her $/sf had to have been very high. I suggest you look at shingle-style homes. They are more authentic becasue they are an American style, they are timeless (as much as anything can be), and you can choose various levels of finishes and degree of interior decoration without sacrificing the overall effect. For example, moderate price maple cabs with a bit of a shine from a big box store would look OK in a simple shingle style house with painted trim. They would look really cheap and out of place in a grand manor. If stained woodwork is a dealbreaker for you this might not be a great option. Have you seen that Stern dream home from Southern Living that MIghty Anvil has posted in the past? Check that out.

The invoice from GC after lot clearing showed a 20% discount. New bill GC is asking for is for this 20% and cost of septic permit that was obtained. It is a proper amount if this had been a one time thing that would have been priced at Cost plus GC markup. terms of the verbal agreement between HO and GC has not been clear from the beginning so HO had one idea and GC must have had a different idea. In the end, GC claimed his discount was only in effect since he thought he would be the GC for a home building project and since he is not going to be the GC for the home build, its only fair he get paid the 20% markup he would have placed on that one job if it were to be his only job for the HO. In other words, GC priced lot clear as a seperate job with a discount from the rest of the build project since all was thinking that there would be a build project later on this lot for GC. Lot clear was paid in cash in full before actual build was to take place so build would be priced as only the build with no lot clear. Since no build project for this GC now, he feels like he should be paid the 20% markup he would have charged. It amounts to around 2k. Bad business on GC part. Shame on HO for not insisting on a contract with everything in writing so they would all be on the same page. HO feels its fair to pay regardless of lien since all were hoping to conduct a build project with the GC anyway. Its simply HO learned some things about GC that they did not like before any contract was made and felt the need to look elsewhere for a GC for the project.

Hi Kmttsmom, Thank you for being kind. I'm really not trying to get a reaction or hurt anyone and I think I've stated it over and over, but it bears repeating. :) I'm hurt too, and confused at how my estrangement got to the point it did. Years and years of misunderstanding, letting things go when they really should have been talked out then, not feeling like I could say anything because it would be taken the wrong way. So I'm just trying to understand it from a mother's point of view. And it seems like a lot of mothers are defensive (that's ok, they have a right to be, but then they take it as I'm attacking) and words like "spoiled brat" come into the picture. I'm not, nor was I ever, a spoiled brat. I was raised one of the least spoiled people you would ever meet. No electricity, no television, catchment water, no neighbors. No Christmas tree, very few presents for my birthday. My mother never bought me a car, paid for insurance, college, rent, bills, etc. I had to give away my toys to more needy kids time and again. We recycled everything. I moved out at 14 to live with my dad because of her emotional abuse, and I lived pretty much on my own because he had to work 150 miles away and would be gone for days at a time. I walked to school a few miles away and walked home, did my homework, made myself dinner, and went to bed. And I forgave her in high school. I was able to put it all behind me and move forward. And I included her in my daughter's birth. And when she needed a place to live, I let her move in with me. And then I realized she was an energy vampire. She literally sucked me dry, blamed me for everything, took my friends and started to turn my daughter against me. And she walked all over me. Time and again. So, my defenses go up too, when mothers just say that kids just need to respect their parents, and "get over it". It's a very emotionally charged situation. I didn't come on here for support, I came on here to learn what others think. So I think part of the conflict is our approach to what we expect from this board. I'm shocked at being told to go away, that my opinion is not wanted or needed or valued because I don't agree and I'm asking questions. It seems it's either one way or the highway. And when I apply this to what women here are saying about their damaged relationships the correlation seems too blatant to ignore. I don't think anyone here is a "Bad Mother". The fact that people are even talking about it indicates that they are truly trying to be good people. I'm sure everyone on here has their good and bad moments, and it can be hard to judge emotion when it's in writing, without any facial gestures or other non-verbal clues. I guess this isn't the place for me to be asking my questions because it is seen as an attack, and I felt just terrible the past few days, because I feel bad that people are taking my words that way, and now I feel attacked too. Thank you again, for your very clear, from the heart post. I do wish you the best in your situation. No one should have to feel like this. ~Silver