Hi judy jay, Can you spell "F-R-E-E-D-O-M"? In the western world (some parts of it, at least) we talk a lot about "freedom" ... by which we usually mean the "political" and the "social" kind. Funny, isn't it, that we hear only a very little about the "economic" and "financial" aspects of our highly-vaunted freedom! I hope that you and hubby have built assets, whether pension-based assets or of another kind, that enable you to enjoy that freedom as you look forward to retirement. One major cautionary note however ... don't forget the ravages that inflation inflicts on your investment system, having an effect on your potential income stream. Also, inscribe it in letters as firmly in your mind as those engraved on a gravestone ... that that inflation component *increases* every year. At least, it has, every year, since the great Depression of what many call the "Dirty Thirties". Those effects are cumulative, and have an increasing effect as the years go by ... and many of us live for 30 (or more) retired years, these days. Some years ago a highly paid professional in the city where I lived asked me whether he could retire early ... and was *substantially* disappointed when I told him that not only could he not retire early (as he had both an institutional and a private practice, and wanted to cease the private portion, as well) ... but that it would keep him busy to retire appropriately at the regular retirement age! Possibly he, a psychiatrist, thought me slightly crazy ... but when I explained to him that he wasn't giving adequate consideration to inflation, he began to look at the retirement picture from a whole new light. (Think how mind-expanding it can be to help a psychiatrist look at life in a different light?) Perhaps you've read my thread posted here recently about the difference between a pay cheque and a pension cheque ... that you must be physically, mentally and emotionally able to go to the workplace and fulfill your obligations when there ... or you don't qualify for the pay-cheque. Plus hope that your position stays intact here ... not shifted overseas ... or integrated with another when your employer is bought out (with you either "downsized" [read "outsized"] or loaded with additional work) ... or dies when your employer goes broke, etc. Such changes have a major effect on paycheques, as well! When you receive a pension cheque, apart from the potential insolvency of your carrier, all that you need do to continue to qualify is ... ... stay topside the grass! That is, more or less a guaranteed income - until you draw your last breath! If it's adjusted for inflation - what could be better than that? Which means that, if you so choose, you can invest some of your other assets in ways that help to offset those inflationary pressures. If it isn't so adjusted - such offset becomes even more important. Think of your investable assets as in about half a dozen, 5-year blocks ... several of them to last for 10 - 20 years (if you eat them earlier, you might live to regret having made that choice). My ex-, who'd been head of food service in a substantial hospital for 20 years, took early retirement at age about 55 when there was talk of closing hers or another nearby. She, who'd fed millions over those years, contracted colon cancer ... and died, at age 66 - ironically, it was her gut that did her in! Our kids noted with appreciation that, had their Mom retired at the usual time, it would have been the year before ... and I offered that she'd have been sick for most of that year! That is - she'd had 10 years to enjoy retirement ... and she'd had a ball, throughout ... including, as a U.S. person, visiting relatives and newly-developed friends as she, living near here, travelled in her RV from FL to TX in winter. You've received a number of good suggestions here for things to do during those retirement years! Don't approach it with some trepidation, please. Look upon it as starting out on a great new adventure. Visit your bathroom ... look in the mirror ... smile ... tell yourself that you're about to open a wonderful new door in life. Bring hubby in there with you ... look in the mirror together ... smile ... wink ... tell yourselves that you're about to start a new adventure together! There's a great, fine, wonderful world out there! Go out and explore it! Start planning now ... beginning with sitting down with hubby and talking about the things that you'd like to consider. And that'll be an ongoing discussion, as different ideas come and are considered by both, then discussed further later. Some things you'll want to do with him, some of them each of you will choose to do alone. Finally ... can you spell, "E-N-J-O-Y"??? Go for it!!! ole joyful

i don't think I would switch him from the team. I think that would give the wrong message to him and the other boys would find fault with him. Thoughts about this -- First, if you didn't try to fix the problem and just removed him from the team, I agree that would send the wrong message. That you run away from a problem and don't address it. However, if you attempt to address it and it does not get resolved, then you leave the team. IMO, this sends the message that you tried to fix the problem but you cannot control others, and you will not let your son be abused in this manner. I am not sure how this can be the wrong message. If you worked for a company where you boss was abusive, and the company wouldn't change it, would you stay? Or would you find a new job? About going to the coach instead of the board -- I would bet that this coach has heard this before. If this is how he coaches, I doubt it just suddenly appeared this season. There were probably parents in the past that said something to him. In my experience, they do not think they are doing anything wrong. In fact, they think they are toughening up the kids and teaching them how to win. You talking to him (or writing letter) will do nothing to change his behavior, IMO. I could be wrong, of course. Everyone is different. But, in my experience, they think they know better and you're just babying your son. Believe me I've heard it all from the coach, the coach's wife and other parents. On the other hand, I had parents tell us they were impressed with what we did. I think the only thing that will change his behavior is the threat of losing his team by his bosses (the board). I don't know if your board will do that. It won't change what the coach thinks is the right way to coach, but it might make him temper his words to avoid losing the team. Having our son leave the team he'd play with for 3 years was hard. He was playing with all his friends in town. But, we knew we couldn't leave him in that situation. And he had finally had enough of the abuse and without prompting from us, he said he wouldn't play for him anymore. My son is now 13, so we've been gone from that team for 3 full seasons. Best thing we ever did. He's played for some really wonderful coaches. And some bad coaches too. But, he's learned that not everyone is like that. And he's met some great kids from outside town. I'm not trying to minimize how hard it was. I was sick over it for a long time. It made me so angry that we were forced to leave a team where his friends played because the coach was a jerk, and the town wouldn't do anything about it. It still makes me angry! But, in the end it was a good thing. My son learned baseball from other coaches and organizations we've played for and is a better player for it. It has also taught him to deal with situations of being the new kid on the team. For some kids, this is easy. My son is not outgoing and that is not an easy thing for him. But, on every team he has made friends and I think he's learned that even though he's uncomfortable in that situation, he can handle it. Another good life lesson. I apologize for my long rants on this. I am so passionate about this. Youth sports is a strange place. We've had some awful coaches and some wonderful coaches. And the parents! Don't get me started on the parents. Some are as bad or worse than the bad coaches. But, I've also made some wonderful life-long friends through my son playing. My DH and I and another family (that also left town at the same time), are always saying we should create a reality TV show - "Travel Ball". You would not believe the things we've heard, mostly from parents, on the sidelines of games.

Gift certificates are the way to go. As for from the whole team or just Chloe? Well, have her ask her team mates if they want to go in on gifts for the coaches and let them help if they can. Try not to make it a set amount to participate get what you can afford with what you can collect and what you can add to the pot. Times are hard and some kids might not have much to spare but a team effort means take what each can offer for the best possible result. I don't recall how many coaches so if Gift certificates are to much on a tight budget then try to arrange a cookout to honor the coaches with every one bringing something to eat or drink and a short speech about a special time during the season or how much it meant to each player to have the opportunity to play and learn with the team and coaches. Yes even a nice thank you letter/card would be appropriate. LIL

Jen, sometimes things change when you least expect them, and thank goodness for a retirement plan! DH and I started getting things pulled together a bit later than most couples, he was 62, and *talked* about retiring at 70, and I was 61~that was 14 years ago. DH was forced into retirement at 69, when it was discovered he had bile duct cancer, with a very poor survival rate. He passed away 7 months after the diagnosis. Being an auditor/accountant he was quite a planner and had a pension plan already in place, and had started taking SS when he got the diagnosis. I had started taking mine at 62, when the business I was working at went bellyup. We also put together a porfolio since he had many stock options with his company, as well as stocks gifted by his grandmother. We added bonds and a few other options, as well as a 401K, which is now part of an IRA. When he passed away he had several life insurance policies, and I decided to purchase 3 annuities which are 'adding up quickly' as I only started taking RMD's last year. Considering your relatively young age, an annuity might work for you. In all honesty, my 'lifestyle', which I don't consider high end, the SS/pension is quite enough, and the RMD's go into a separate savings account. I never understood DH when he talked about 'saving for retirement', but thank goodness he was a *thinking* man! I get way too many emails with re:to retirement/savings, and thought this might be of interest to you. You're a very smart young woman for thinking of what could be *your* future. Best of luck, Jen! http://www.frugalrules.com/betterment-review-investing-option/