Anyway, the ability to withdraw, repay and re-apply has been taken away. Once you actually apply, you are more or less locked into your benefits. Jannie, it has not been taken away entirely. I learned from the video that there is still a 12 month window where you can "change your mind". I verified that from the SS.gov site which states: ..... " Recent change in the withdrawal rules.Effective December 8, 2010, you can only withdraw your application for retirement benefits within 12 months of your first month of entitlement and you are limited to one withdrawal per lifetime." Wildchild, I am glad you (& others) found the video so helpful. Not everyone will take the time to view it, to their possible detriment. I also looked @ the AARP website (as Franklin recommended) & they have an excellent current article with really good examples. I haven't looked to see what they might have in the way of archived articles. Chisue, I so agree with you that the argument for a *voluntary* SS-like system kind of flies in the face of how little $ soooo many people save towards retirement. I do understand that it is nearly impossible for some given their low wages. But as an example, one gal I worked with participated in the company's voluntary retirement savings plan... to the tune of $5 per month. No kidding!!!! She had no kids & was an educated woman... but obviously clueless as to how ineffective that amount was. She actually "threw money away" since the company would have matched her contributions to a much greater amount!

Retirement appears less and less likely for many people. Wages have barely improved in decades and the cost of living is going up, tempting some people to retire overseas. It could be done, but there are a ton of plans one has to make first. One can always retire abroad for much less. It's good to think that Social Security still pays benefits to overseas retired persons, though taxes on that income in a new home country may apply as well as to the United States.

Hi there Redlady, it sounds like you're doing a great job with your SS. Congratulations to you. Any child benefits from having the attention of loving adults so spending time with you and your parents is a good opportunity for him. In order to help him look forward to visits with your parents, you and your SS together can plan some ideas for the time that he's with your parents (perhaps an outing, or a playdate with a school friend). You may even want to make a visit to the video store or a book store so he can pick up a couple of things that he likes and will look forward to. As for the cell phone, I think that your solution is a good one. It's important to teach children to avoid constant interruption from a ringing cellphone. My stepkids don't bring their cellphones to our house and, when they do by accident, we put them away during their time with us. However, we do encourage them to make an evening call to their mother a couple of times a week to keep in touch.

I also think that if the kids have been living with you for 2 years without BM trying to get them back, that should have some merrit on getting placement back to you. From what I have read through the years, it is very difficult to change a custody arrangement once the child has lived somewhere for 2 years or more. Although, since you agreed to the change, it might be more difficult. I agree with the statement to get the child into counseling. Although, it might be more difficult since the BM is obviously keeping the children from you. Even if the physical placement doesn't change you definitely need to get a lawyer and get a very specific visitation schedule set for you. I can't even imagine going from the children living with me to not even being able to see them!