Audiences at births?

16 years ago

I often watch A Baby Story on TLC. It seems so many choose to have a audience when giving birth. What is your opinion on this? The one I saw recently, the parents wanted their 2-3 yr old son to be present at the birth. The mother was very vocal during her contractions, and the little kid was obviously upset about Mommy hurting, but the mom, between and during the pains, kept saying, It's OK, this is just Mommy's way to get the baby out. The poor little kid looked traumatized. In my opinion, giving birth is such a personal thing, and considering what part of the female anatomy that is involved, I sure wouldn't want anyone except my husband and maybe my Mother present. Maybe (probably) I'm way out of the loop on this. Dottie

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Comments (26)

Jasdip
16 years ago
Heck no!! **I** wouldn't even want to be there! LOL
matti5
16 years ago
Dotmom, you and I watch alot of the same shows!

I often watch A Baby Story and feel the same as you do. If I was a young child it would scare the heck out of me to see my mother screaming in pain. I think I would have handled it better after the age of 10 or so when I had a better understanding what was going on.

The only people I wanted in the room with me while I was giving birth were my husband and my mom. Obviously many people (and cultures) are very open to it, so to each his/her own!
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I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business. Dick Van Dyke One day in '61, I was looking in the Santa Monica phone book for a number, and there it was: Stan Laurel, Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica. I went over there and spent the afternoon with them. And pumped him with questions. I must have driven him crazy. I spent a lot of happy hours at Stan's house on Sundays just talking about comedy. Dick Van Dyke No, I did night clubs right here in Los Angeles. My partner, Phil Erickson, put me in the business, a guy from my home town, a dear friend who we just lost a couple of months ago. Dick Van Dyke I'm really in retirement. My career is over. I'm just playing now and having a great time. I like to keep busy, and I'm doing what's fun for me. Dick Van Dyke Pandering to the scandal hungry public is a total lack of responsible journalism. Dick Van Dyke I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit. Dick Van Dyke When I was a kid, I had ambitions for being a television announcer, which was before television took off, you know, in the late '40s. And just through necessity, going out looking for work, I was starting to sing, and dance, and act, and I never expected to do that, nor to have any success at it at least. Dick Van Dyke I have a lot of friends who say that one of the freedoms of being older is you don't care what other people think, which I don't think is right. You care what other people think, but if you're comfortable in your own skin, that doesn't bother you. Dick Van Dyke I was a 'Laurel and Hardy' nut. I got to know Laurel at the end of his life, and it was a great thrill for me. He left me his bow tie and derby and told me that if they ever made a movie about him, he'd want me to play him. Dick Van Dyke L I went from my mother to my wife. And to this day, I can't bear to be alone. Dick Van Dyke I'm always announcing my retirement. I'm still not retired. Dick Van Dyke Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him. Dick Van Dyke So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was working after school and weekends. I did the news; I did everything. I did - played records. Dick Van Dyke I've always wanted to learn kick boxing. Dick Van Dyke Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody. Dick Van Dyke I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old nightclub partner passed away, Phil Erickson down in Atlanta. He - I owe him everything. He put me in the business and taught me about everything I know. Dick Van Dyke No, no, it was the relationships. That was that group. People believed that Rob and Laura were really married in real life. You know, a lot of people believed that. Dick Van Dyke Oh, I had an idea for a pilot of my own at the time, and then Carl sent me about eight scripts and simply I threw my idea out the window because the writing was just so good. Dick Van Dyke We had all week to rehearse. An audience would come in at the end of the week and we'd our little show. Most of the ad- libbing happened during the week on the show. Dick Van Dyke I can't work with my brother without laughing. Dick Van Dyke I asked Fred Astaire once when he was about my age if he still danced, and he said 'Yes, but it hurts now.' That's exactly it. I can still dance, too, but it hurts now! Dick Van Dyke Somebody asked what I wanted on my gravestone. I'm just going to put: 'Glad I Could Help.' Dick Van Dyke I think, the 'Van Dyke Show' and 'Mary Poppins' are two of the best periods of my life. I had so much fun, I didn't want it to end. Dick Van Dyke Put me on solid ground and I'll start tapping! At my age they say to keep moving. Dick Van Dyke When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young. Dick Van Dyke I love musicals, but I find it's just so deadening. You know, 30 takes, you do a little piece here and a little piece there. There's hours and hours of waiting. And to me, that's as far away from real performance as you can get. Dick Van Dyke The years have been just full of surprises for me, and a lot of fun. Dick Van Dyke But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to the script. Dick Van Dyke I don't think we've got much of a chance to tell you the truth. But our main problem is our audience skews a little older than most shows, and I don't think our people can stay up that late. I certainly can't. Dick Van Dyke Probably one of the happiest moments, outside the birth of all of my kids, was the first time we won an Emmy, that the show won an Emmy. That was a big night. Dick Van Dyke So I think we're kind of an alternate choice for people who have had it with sex and violence. Dick Van Dyke I have four kids, seven grandkids, and four great-grandkids. Maybe I can become a great-great-grandfather if I hang on! Dick Van Dyke They did ask me to do 'Dancing With The Stars;' I said I can do one show, but on that show you have to come up with a new number every week, and I told them that I think I'm a little past that stage. Dick Van Dyke I sing and dance. That's my job. Dick Van Dyke All of us involved say 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' was the best five years of our lives. We were like otters at play. Dick Van Dyke There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey. Dick Van Dyke Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It is awfully rough, but he does make me laugh. Dick Van Dyke It's more in my nature to be optimistic, I think. I'm one of those people who gets up on the right side of the bed in the morning. Dick Van Dyke I have a beautiful, young wife who sings and dances, so there's a lot of duetting going on at my house. Dick Van Dyke Once you're dead, your worries are over. Dick Van Dyke Working with my son was like falling off a log. I had so much fun doing it. Dick Van Dyke The thing I'm most proud of is my family, the way they've turned out. Dick Van Dyke I'm kind of proud of being a love child. Dick Van Dyke My wife didn't like Hollywood or its stars, but she made an exception when, in 1972, we were invited to dinner - cooked by Frank Sinatra. Dick Van Dyke When I was a kid, I had ambitions for being a television announcer, which was before television took off, you know, in the late '40s. 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ronf_gw
16 years ago
The last three of my five kids were born at home with a mid-wife. Mary was a very private person and this was so much better for her than the hospital scene. At the last one, our then 12 year old daughter watched. Other than that it was just Mom, the mid-wife and me.

This does remind me of a supposedly true story recorded in an old country doctors autobiography. This takes place in the late 1800's in rural Wisconsin. A farm wife was in labor in Winter during a blizzard. The doctor gets out to the home and finds it's a breech birth. He realizes it's going to be a difficult labor and suggests to the farmer that the other two kids (a boy about 5 and a girl age 3) go to a neighbors for the evening. The farmer replies that the neighbors are too far away. Next, the Dr. suggests the kids go to another rooom. "It's just a one room cabin." With that the doctor turns his attention to the Mom. Hours later the baby is finally born but isn't breathing. The Dr. holds him up and slaps his bottom a couple times and with that the little guy sputters and starts to cry. The 5 year old boy says, "Slap him again Doc, he had no business crawling up in there in the first place."

Ron
marilyn_c
16 years ago
I wouldn't mind my husband being there, but not a child, other relatives or friends. Maybe my mother, but she was quite elderly when I had my daughter, and I ended up with a c section, so just my husband would have been allowed in anyway.
dotmom
Original Author
16 years ago
I was there with my daughter in law, when she had our second grand daughter, my son was in the service. Believe me, I would rather go through the labor and have the baby than stand by helplessly watching someone go through that, so I have some idea of what it is like for the Dads. I wasn't in the delivery room when our daughter gave birth to their first child, but I was right outside the door. I'll never forget when our son in law brought Shannon out and put her in my arms. She was less than 10 minutes old.
Matti, yeah, I'm kind of addicted to some of these reality shows. Go figure. In some of these Baby stories, I can't believe how many people they have in the delivery room. Dottie
socks
16 years ago
LOL!! Jasdip! Me either, but I survived twice.
trinitytx
16 years ago
lol at Ron......

Trin
User
16 years ago
I don't understand the smaller kids being there.

My oldest son was 23 months when I started having contractions my second son. It was around 2:30 am and I tried not to show pain,but the poor little guy knew something was up. My fil came over to watch him. That was the only time he wouldn't cooperate for Papaw. DS stayed awake until he was brought to the hospital 10-12 hours later. He was exhausted at that point. He came in and ate my hospital meal and then fell asleep with a balloon tied to the pacifier in his mouth.

My ob only allowed two people besides dad in the room. My mil and step-mother were there at the first birth.
Marilyn Sue
16 years ago
I never had anyone in the room other than doctors and nurses when I gave birth four different times.

Sue
sue_va
16 years ago
I sometimes watch A Baby Story too. Very different from when I had my babies.

First one in 1947. Contractions started at 2:30 a.m. We get to the hospital and my DH wasn't even allowed on the Delivery floor. In fact he wasn't even allowed to go up with me on the elevator! He was told to go home and get some sleep. I didn't see him until the next day when he and my DM came. I had not seen the baby or even known I had had the baby. They used Ether at that time. I did remember some of the pain.

Second one in 1951. Much the same, but not with Ether; don't remember what it was. DH came soon after the birth and I had been shown the baby, but didn't remember seeing him.

Little kids? Absolutely not. I see no reason for having anyone other than the mother-to-be, the DH, and the doctors there. And videoing it? No,no.

Sue
lilliepad
16 years ago
I love to watch those shows too.
Personally,I think 3 years old is too young to watch mom giving birth.They are too young to really comprehend what is going on and likely won't remember much about it anyway.What's the point? Wait until they are old enough to at least know where babies come from,then let them decide if they want to watch or not.
I was out for my first two.That was back when they knocked you out and when you woke up you had a baby.The other two were natural and pretty fast but I prefer the being knocked out method.LOL My DH wasn't allowed in the delivery room for any of the births.Just wasn't done back then.DH says he wishes he could have been there.I think all fathers should experience the birth of at least one of their children! LOL I don't think there should be an audience and I sure wouldn't want "everyone" in the family looking on.Just my husband.
I was there when my 10 year old DGS was born and it was the most amazing experience I have ever had.
Jodi_SoCal
16 years ago
In the last 20 years I've been asked to attend three births.

The first two were home births and the entire family (siblings and in-laws on both sides) waited in another room until the very last minute when everyone came in to witness the actual birth. The midwife, her assistant, the husband and I were the only two there the entire time and at the "business end" of the deal. I videotaped the entire event. Afterward, the oldest of the siblings cut the umbilical cord.

This was a very mother earth kind of family with home schooling, home births (four girls), home garden and composting and a deep spiritual sense. Visiting their home is like spending a few hours at the little house on the prairie. Kind of a rarity in this part of CA and I'm proud to call them dear friends.

The other birth was at the hospital and I was invited because the expectant mom Crystal and her parents have been neighbors for 24 years. Crystal is both a friend and like a daughter to me. It was her mom, her dad (a doctor), the father of the baby and me as witness. The baby's father, her mom and I took it all in stride, her dad nearly passed out. LOL

All three births were beautiful experiences, no one was traumatized (well, except for dr. dad :-)

Jodi-
linda_in_iowa
16 years ago
I watch those programs and I am surprised that some of the mothers scream. In this day and age with epidurals and child birth classes, I didn't know that anyone screamed. I wouldn't want a TV camera in the delivery room. I don't think young children should be in the delivery room.
sjerin
16 years ago
I'm remembering a book I read, "My Family and Other Animals" written by Gerald Durrell about his family's time on the island of Corfu in Greece. He describes happening upon a family in a small village where the newly-married daughter is giving birth, and the whole thing is a village affair with as many people (men and women!) in the house that will fit. It's hilarious--actually the whole book is hilarious. He was one heck of a writer and I've read all his books I can find.
wildchild
16 years ago
My DH was at the birth of both of my children. I can't imagine a father not being at the birth of his children unless he was serving our country and away or struck by a serious illness.

My DD had just turned 2 at the time and it was a hospital birth so we left her with a neighbor. In retrospect I would have let her be with us but at the time I would have had to have a home birth. Family birthing rooms weren't available yet back then. I had a long rough natural birth with DD. DS was a much easier labor and birth so I coulda/shoulda had a home birth. At least DD avoided having to see me have a fight (basically cursed him out) with the doctor. He wasn't my normal doc and was upset about my natural birth without monitoring or allowing IVs to be inserted (just in case).

I went home later that day but several nurses popped in to congratulate me with standing up to the control freak doc. LOL

Personally I think birth is a special time for the parents and perhaps the other children only. Immediately after the mother should bonding with her child, not showing it off to people like a new puppy. It's an intimate family thing. Shouldn't be made into a party.
sandy_in_ia
16 years ago
When our oldest DD, Caryn gave birth 7.5 years ago to Zachary we had a ROOM full! Zachary was being adopted, and the parents were in the room also. We had a large (thankfully!!!) room as mommy, daddy, Caryn and myself were in the room staying the whole 48 hours....oh, and Zachary.

For the delivery, it was Caryn, myself, Caryn's dad, mommy, daddy, a baby nurse, the midwife and a student nurse, and shortly before the birth our DD Kalie came. Mommy & daddy cut the cord together. It was a very emotional/happy time. (we have a wonderful relationship with Zachary's parents and see Zack often)

I don't agree with having small children in the room, you don't know how you are going to react when you are going through delivery, and I think it could really scare/scar them. BUT...to each their own.
leel
16 years ago
Whenpeople say "it wasn't done then" re having DH w/ them in the delivery room, I say it depends. My husband was with me 53 years ago. My OB/Boss did natural childbirth & had no qualms about husbands being with their wives. I almost missed my own delivery, I was so busy watching my husband!
cynic
16 years ago
Look at it this way Dotmom... she probably had the football team there at conception so why not at the birth?

Personally, I'll pass on being in the audience. And on watching the show. Sounds like something Orca Windbag would have on her show, which I'll also avoid. Then the audience can be on Dr. Fail, another I'll avoid along with his "wisdom" like "You can tie a donkey to the swingset but you caint make biscuits without carburetors".

There's plenty of other shows like Deadliest Catch, Family Guy, 24, Criminal Minds, America's Test Kitchen, Celtic Thunder and the like to watch and I'll skip the other stuff! I guess I see another reason to not have cable or satellite!
jannie
16 years ago
No way should young children attend a birth, seeing Mommy in pain, seeing blood, seeing Mommy nakled like that, it's too frightening for a child!
dotmom
Original Author
16 years ago
Oh, Dear, Cynic...you truly are funny.I agree with you about your opinion on Oprah & Phil and his 'wisdom'. A baby story, I guess would appeal to women more than men. I feel the birth of a baby is a wondrous thing, but not a spectator sport. Which means, it probably shouldn't be a TV show. So, then why do I watch? I don't know. LOL Dottie
folkvictorian
16 years ago
When I was pregnant, everyone shared their stories of labor and birth, like they will. My answer to the question of who we'd be having at the birth was this: only people who were present at the conception of the baby (plus the medical team), thank you very much!
irishdancersgram
16 years ago
I had 5 and I was lucky, I made it there myself! The only time a doctor was there was for the 1st and it wasn't even my doctor, just a doctor on call..The last one was almost at the entrance of the hospital and I said, if there were any more, I'm staying home....

But, seriously, I wouldn't want an audience, I also think it would scare a young one.....
Terri_PacNW
16 years ago
MY oldest was at the birth of our next one. He was 5...His presence actually kept me calmer as not to freak him out, so I stayed as calm as I could..

He "peeked" at his brother's head while still in the canal..because the nurse said..look at all that hair on his head...

The only comment he made was later on the way home with Dad..
"where did mom get that big hole?"..lol

He was asked by a friend when he was in 1st grade..if he was okay with being there..(she was trying to decide to have her older son along at her next one's birth) He said it was no big deal.
And by the time he was about 10 he claimed no recollection of the exact event or even asking that question.

If I had not had my last one in the middle of the night...and so quickly..the other boys would have attended as well.
joyfulguy
16 years ago
Bruce was born in a hospital operated by the Southern Presbyterian missionaries in ChunJoo, Republic of Korea.

I was in an adjacent room, and was updated on what was going on, but not invited into the birthing room.

Sue's canal was narrow, and after a number of hours of labour, they recommended a C-section ... it seems that, had we been in an area where such was not available, she'd likely have died.

When Kathryn was born, in a small hospital Huntsville, Ontario (where they've spent millions recently in preparation for the one/two day G-7 summit meeting - and a billion or so just for security in downtown Toronto for a one/two day meeting of the G-20, right after) I wasn't present, either.

When I took Bruce, just past 3 and not allowed into the obstetrical area, to the window of his mother's room so that he could see her, he just about clawed the screen off of the window to get to her.

ole joyful
susanjf_gw
16 years ago
was there for my one dd for 2 of her 3 kids...i wouldn't presume to have been anyplace other than the waiting room for dils...in fact, our latest dgs was 2 days old when we finally saw him...the hospitals were very "picky" last feb during the flu potential...
jel48
16 years ago
I didn't want anyone but my husband there. Not even my mom. And I don't think it's the place for children to be. But, I was in the delivery room with my step-granddaughter when she delivered my great granddaughter, and it was a wonderful experience. I was invited in to take pictures (although told to avoid vagina shots :-) and I was so happy to have been asked to participate in this experience.

Audiences at births?

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