Well I thought I would give you all a staus up date on my situation: I have wrote letters, cards, emails, telling her exactly what was suggested on here. Thursday night I get this email: David, Well, I've had right close to 4 weeks to think about everything that has happened to us and to our family. You are correct in what you said about how I felt about the whole situation. I feel like I had all this trust for you (finally) and then the bridge just collapsed beneath me. I understand that at the time your intentions were good and that you meant well by doing what you did.....but, at the same time I don't understand how you could have so little trust in me that you wouldn't tell me what was going on. Am I that horrible of a person that we couldn't talk and try to work this out together? Dave, how many times does it take getting your heart broken before you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder..."why am I doing this?" Every time something has happened to us I would just step back and tell myself "Ok Paula, this is the last time something like this will happen".....only to look further across that bridge to see that it has collapsed again. I know that you are making a lot of changes now.....that is awesome-I'm really proud of you. But, the fact of the matter is-will all those changes erase the hurt, distrust, and anger that I have? Will they make me forget everything? The answer is probably not. I want you to know that this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life......this is not easy at all. David we have had two beautiful girls together-for that I will be forever grateful to you. I will always love you for the dad that you have and will continue to be to our girls. But, I don't think that I can be the wife that you deserve given the events that have taken place. I already have a hard time trusting people and I feel like if we continued our relationship I would constantly be looking over my shoulder...wondering what is going to come next. Always second guessing and "checking up" on things to make sure everything is kosher. That is no way to live. I feel like the best thing for me to do is to pick up and start over...get my priorities right-make things stable for our girls. I love that you are doing things to change yourself and you are getting help from Ashford (counsler)-it takes alot of courage to sit in an office and put your trust in a complete stranger and to ask them for help. I'm glad you are doing it-for yourself and your girls. I hope that we can still be a support system for each other-I do care an awful lot about you Dave. I also hope that we can continue to be civil to each other and be friendly toward one another (the girls will have a better time adjusting if they are able to see us get along). If there is anything I can do to support you in your changes-I am here for you. I don't hate you at all and I do forgive the situation-I just can't continue with this relationship. I know that what I'm saying in something you don't want to hear and I know that I have probably broken your heart....for that I am sorry. I don't like to hurt anyone-especially you.........I hope that we can still be good friends. love, Paula Then on Saturday she told me that she contacted an attorney and is drafting up a seperation agreement. Yes I am heart broken, and never wanted any of this to happen. I am completly beside myself and am lost without her in my life. I had the girls this weekend, and when I went to take them back, they were both crying that they wanted to stay with me and not go back to there grandma's...where they are staying. I know that they are just as confused as I am and to answer any questions involving the kids...the answer is no. I avoid it at all cost. My question now is this, since she has given up, or in my eyes she has, what are my next steps in this process? I have to thank each and everyone of you for offering your advice and I wish the circumstances were better, but they are not. I do love my wife, and miss her everyday that I am awake. I wanted a chance to make things right, but she has shut the door on our relationship.

As I spent 3 months pulling off paneling, patching the nail holes from same and swearing at the previous owners who would do such a thing, I am probably not the one to respond to your question. The worst damage was from cutting the window trim to accommodate the paneling. But if you are determined to put paneling up, it can be nailed to the studs just like putting paneling over drywall. Please don't remove the plaster, subsequent owners of your house will thank you for not doing further damage. Drill the holes for the nails with a small bit to prevent the plaster from cracking. Diane

So wait, is your drawing both (1) existing walls/doors/windows AND (2) proposed locations of fixtures (sink, stove etc.)? I ask because the gas range appears to be sitting right in the doorway to the dining room. If that's the case, could you explain where everything currently is? In other words, what's the "before" picture? Assuming what your diagram shows is where fixtures and cabinets WILL be in the future, I think with a little tweaking it would be great. Here's what I would suggest: - Like you said, blow out the part of the kitchen/dining room wall that doesn't have cabinets on it (essentially, the bottom half of the wall). - Put a wall behind the stove and the cabinets on either side of the stove. Since your space doesn't have room for an overhang, seating or clearance (i.e. space between the range and people in the dining room), you really would gain nothing from having that be a peninsula that's open to both the kitchen and the DR. But if you let that be a wall, then you gain space in the kitchen for some important stuff: (1) a good vent hood (if you're building a new wall it's very easy/cheap to put in the ductwork for the vent); and (2) wall cabinets on either side of the vent hood, for more storage in the kitchen. Yay! - Instead of a 24" cab to the left of the stove, make it a 12" cab so the stove can move down. As drawn, there's not enough space between the stove and sink. 12" more and you've got an great work space that you'll use all the time--just make sure you don't put any appliances on that counter (coffee maker, toaster), just use it for prep space, and you'll be very happy with it. You could even consider making the cabinet to the left of the stove be 9". I wouldn't go smaller than that because you need some clearance between the range (in particular, the handles on your pans) and the doorway. - I see you want a 24"x18" farmhouse sink. Want to save a LOT of money? Get an Ikea Domsjo farmhouse sink (link below). It's 24" wide, exactly as you want, but it has two HUGE advantages over anything else you're going to find: (1) it's REALLY inexpensive, and (2) it's 27" deep, in other words, you DO NOT have to put any countertop behind it--it goes all the way back to the wall. That makes your counters cheaper and easier to make. Here's a link where you can buy the Domsjo -- the other link shows you how it's installed, so you can see why it makes the countertop simpler: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S49847479/ Here is a link that might be useful:

Thanks to all of you. Everyone has been so helpful. Red I went today and got a sample of dry sage. Very moody color. Its reading blue gray so far. Not thinking it's the one but wont rule it out til tomarrow. Most of the house was painted BM match to Laura Ashley gold 2. Including the master. I said I wanted to move in before I picked the colors to get a feel for everything and we could just paint over the gold 2. I know...not too smart. I just had the kitchen and breakfast painted last week in Ralph Lauren lincolnshire olive matched to BM paint. Love that color. Alittle too gray for master though. Jant Since the room is light now I don't feel the warmth in the room. I really need some coziness in there. but I dont want it to feel like a cave either. I am in agreement with totallyconfused and irish on the pastels of the past. Went there myself and have no intentions on going back. monablair I love seeing your pics. They make me want olive branch more than ever. It shows me that it goes with all my elements. Cherry furniture, white trim and burgandy. I have'nt tried rosemary sprig or flowering herbs. I think I figured out my problem with the baby turtle. The decorators white trim and stark white ceiling. Which might be ok in good natural light. If my trim was wood I think I'd like it more. Or atleast a warm white trim. Maybe even no trim at all. All the white makes it more muddy (or something) than it probably is. Where as the olive branch and white compliment eachother. Am I in a late night paint fumed delusion or does that make sense to anyone? Thanks again everyone. You all may have saved a marriage. lol