Perhaps it's safe to try again...and a note about my father

12 years ago

I first joined Gardenweb a long, long time ago. I think it was around 1997 or 98. Might have been even earlier.

Anyway, after some unpleasant comments a few months ago, I took a sabbatical from this site. I thought I'd give the site another try. :)

Peace, peace, peace. And more peace. I come in peace.

After so many years here, I'd like to try again before abandoning a place I've visited for 13 or 14 years. In that vein, I also wanted to let folks know that my 91-year-old father passed on last week.

Y'all may remember the stories I told about me trying to get his driver's license away from him, and then disabling his three Cadillacs, and on and on. Oh, what a mess that was! He was driving into ditches and walls and other cars, but refused to give up his driving rights!

Perhaps you'll recall his favorite Caddy: The red 1966 convertible, which he bought in his mid 80s because "The women just love that car and can't wait to take a ride in it." (True story.)

Or you may remember the story I told (Grand Theft Rascal), about how he stole an electric scooter from the Kroger and then drove it back to his assisted living facility, parked it in a handicapped spot and then went inside and asked an old lady out for a date.

On May 28th, his many physical problems turned into a cascade of troubles, and he became a hospice patient. He was alert and conversant until the last three days. We had a lot of talks about what was coming next. His fears were assuaged when his parents came to him and visited with him, about 48 hours before he passed.

I was right there with him those last few days. In the last hour before he passed on, I was sitting outside of his room at the assisted living facility and was trying to rest. It'd been a long few days.

I heard a voice (not of this world) urging me to arise and come quickly, because he was passing on. I did as instructed and entered the room just as he took his final breath.

He passed in peace, on June 10th.

It was a heckuva experience, and I'm glad I was with him these last few years.

And while people express condolences for his passing, the fact is, this was a blessing. His quality of life had deteriorated quite a lot, and he was no longer mobile, and his mind - the thing he prized the most - was no longer working the way a mind should work.

He had a long life, and a good ending.

Rosemary Fuller Thornton

The photo below is from 1972. WHen I think of my father, this is how I remember him.

Here is a link that might be useful: My favorite dad story

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Comments (31)

Marcia Thornley
12 years ago
Wonderful memories Rosemary! He was quite a character and sounds like a great guy. Glad to see you posting here!
dotmom
12 years ago
I's so sorry for the loss of your special Dad. It sounds like he went peacefully and I'm sure he was, in his way,aware you were there with him when he went to his 'next stop". Thanks for the funny stories about him, It sounds like he was one heck of a guy.
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Georgysmom
12 years ago
I hope you find it safe to post some more. I loved the stories about your Dad...particularly your favorite story. Many, many fond memories. That is his legacy.
patti43
12 years ago
Rosemary, I just love the stories of your father, even though some of them probably weren't funny at the time. He sounds like quite the character.

Come back and tell us more. Also more about your house--did you sell it yet? We'll try to keep the boogie men away! :-)
User
12 years ago
So sorry for your loss. I know how you feel I lost mine about 6 years ago.
(((((((Rosemary))))))))))
wanda_va
12 years ago
It's wonderful that you are able to view his passing as a blessing. Sometimes love means saying goodbye to those we love the most, for their sake. And then counting our blessings for having had them in our lives and in our hearts for so many years.

I loved your favorite father story! My cousin and her DH moved to Cape Charles, VA, a few years ago, and operate a pizza place there--so I enjoyed that article also. In fact, I loved your website.

I'm so glad to see you back here! Even though I have seen you elsewhere, this is my main home.
kim_okla
12 years ago
Rosemary, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's comforting to know he's happy and free again.
heather_on
12 years ago
What wonderful memories you have of your Dad. He was a colourful character and I'm sure you treasure all of your experiences both good and bad. May he rest in piece driving behind the wheel of his favourite car in heaven.

I'm glad to see you again.
lydia1959
12 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss Rosemary. Your father sounds like a wonderful man who lived his life to the fullest. I'm glad he got the visit from his parents to help quell his fears and that you got the 'push' to go in and see him in his final moments.

You are selling your house?? The beautiful pink one? (Patti43's post above)
socks
12 years ago
I missed you and did not undestand why you left. Do stick around, your participation makes KT a better place. (I took a break once too, so I understand.)

Deepest condolences on the loss of your dear father. It's good you were by his side 'til the end.
des_arc_ya_ya
12 years ago
I'm glad that you have so many memories of your dad. May he rest in peace and may your memories bring you some comfort. I lost my dad a little over ten years ago and it still does not seem possible.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads who still walk the earth with us and to all the ones who've gone on before us.

((Rosemary))
Jasdip
12 years ago
I was thinking about you (and Teddy) just yesterday Rosemary!
I'm so glad you're back; at least tentatively.

I remember well the stories of your Dad. As Patti said, they probably weren't humourous at the time, but it sure now, as you told it.

Please stay, there's a chair specifically with your name on it.

Now come and share your stories of Teddy, your Dad (my sincere sympathies, Rosemary) and your houses.
sweet_betsy No AL Z7
12 years ago
It is good to see you again even though I am only mostly a lurker. I so enjoy the pictures and stories you post about craftsman houses.

So sorry for your loss and glad it ended well.
chisue
12 years ago
Welcome BACK! We've missed you and missed you.

Sorry for your loss, but happy you had your live wire Dad for so long. Why you would ask him to spell a word that was absolutely no part of his character is beyond me! (Maybe that's why you wanted it 'in reverse'.)
katlan
12 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm so glad you had these last years with your Dad and could be with him at the end. I was with my mother when she died, and although I thought it was going to kill me at the time, I wouldn't have it any other way. God bless and rest his weary soul.
liljunkr
12 years ago
My condolences for your loss. What a blessing you have all those wonderful memories to bring joy into your heart at this time. It is hard to be at the bedside of a loved one passing but it brings to you a contentment and knowledge of their peace moving into the next realm. I am glad you have that knowledge and and contentment. May peace, love and a joyous heart be yours.

LIL
kacram
12 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss, I posted on facebook.
The most recent story lugubrious was great! lol
welcome back
ruthieg__tx
12 years ago
You said.........And while people express condolences for his passing, the fact is, this was a blessing. His quality of life had deteriorated quite a lot, and he was no longer mobile, and his mind - the thing he prized the most - was no longer working the way a mind should work.

He had a long life, and a good ending.

That is truly an expression of love and the way I felt when my Mother passed. She lived way beyond her time and when she passed, I was happy knowing that she had a long and good life.

Remember your Dad with a smile on your face because that is what he would have wanted. Condolences.
redcurls
12 years ago
So good to see you at the Kitchen Table again. I enjoy EVERYTHING you write....your family, home projects, Sears homes, Tedddy....whatever. It just has such a nice reading quality to it. Thanks for letting us get to know a little about your Dad. Nice Father's Day tribute!
petaloid
12 years ago
Thanks for sharing about your father's passing. My best wishes go out to you.
liz
12 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss Rosemary and I think it's wonderful you got his love for words/storytelling...you've told them in such a way that you gave us some good laughs...I do want to know though...did he got a date when he stole the scooter??
williamsburgjane
12 years ago
Rosemary, so sorry for your loss. But you have so many great memories of your father. Hope you write your memories of him down and pass on to your family. Glad to see you are posting again. Jane
sleeperblues
12 years ago
Welcome back! And I understand what you mean about his passing being ok. It sounds like he was ready. Your story about his last breath gave me chills, I am glad you were there for it. It is a huge regret for me that I ran out to do an errand, and when I returned my Dad had died, so I am so glad you won't have that regret.
Kathsgrdn
12 years ago
I'm sorry about your dad, but glad you decided to come back here. You were missed. I work with alot of elderly patients and it's so sad to see them have to give up things they love to do, their homes, their independence, etc...
Jamie_LA
12 years ago
I do remember the scooter story. I SOOO loved that one. I'm sorry to hear of his passing. My thoughts and prayers headed your way.
Marilyn Sue McClintock
12 years ago
I am sorry to hear about your Father passing Rosemary. I understand about it being a blessing as I lost my Mother this month, she would have been 98 in July. Good to see you back posting.

Sue
jannie
12 years ago
Loved your stories about your Dad. I am sorry for your loss of him. Sorry you stayed away so long. PLease don't be a stranger.
sue_va
12 years ago
Rose, it is great to see you back here. I'm glad you have such good memories of your dad; I have many of my dad and so I know what that means. Losing them is hard, but we can be glad in that they had long, interesting lives. I like this verse "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." The season had come for your dad and he was prepared and ready.

Have you decided where you will be moving to when the house sells?

Sue
glenda_al
12 years ago
Your memories will go on forever!
susanjf_gw
12 years ago
thank you for sharing the stories and the celebration of a long and much loved father...and welcome back...
cynic
12 years ago
Glad to hear you're taking comfort in his suffering ending but I know that it's still traumatic to you and hurts. I've been in that situation enough times where it was a relief to see someone's pain end but we still feel a loss.

Enjoy the memories and remember them often. There is a lot of comfort in them. My best to you, your family and friends during a stressful time.

Perhaps it's safe to try again...and a note about my father

Comments (31)

Marcia Thornley

dotmom

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