In order to get a license at sixteen in my state a teen has to take an approved drivers training course. The schools used to offer it as part of the class curriculum but when my kids were teens we had to pay out of pocket.

After passing the written test for her learner's permit DD didn't want to start the class without knowing the basic rudiments so I took her to an empty parking lot. I had her drive around in an oval to get the feel, then I had her practice maneuvering in and out of the spaces. This helped to to work on depth perception, use her mirrors etc.

After about 45 minute of this I told her to take us home.She was completely shocked and said she wasn't ready. I told her we had to get home somehow and she was driving. So she did. It was about 9/10s of a mile. From then on she had the confidence to on and she did become a good driver.

I can't offer any advise on this; since I don't have children.

My first boyfriend taught me to drive. I thoroughly enjoyed every lesson! LOL He was a sweetheart, and a real gentleman. He didn't even raise an eyebrow when I backed up his beloved Charger into a small tree. It only made a tiny dent in the bumper.

Because I expect he will take driver's training, I think the best you can do for him is teach him to look out for other drivers. Use your own experiences, especially if you ever had an accident. Use that or those to help him learn how to avoid accidents. Also, teach him the unwritten rules of the road, the ones that are common courtesy that he won't learn in training. And, teach him pedestrians always have the right of way. Actually, I wish you'd teach my daughter that.

Unfortunately, I did not do that. My daughter took driver's ed when she was in high school, and her father taught her. I assumed those were enough, so all I did was teach her to drive a manual shift. She grew up with me driving a stick, and she was always the one to operate the gear shift ever since she was 9 or 10. She was familiar with that, so I taught her to coordinate the clutch and the gear shift while being behind the wheel. She was an ace at that, of course, so I thought she was good to go. I was wrong. She's had a few accidents, and every one of them was completely avoidable. None were her fault, but she did not know how to avoid them either. That's what I should have taught her. She's 31 now and a terrible driver. The accidents that didn't happen are excessive. I am very seldom in the car with her but each time I am, I cannot believe the incredibly stupid things she does. I am not a backseat driver, not even paying much attention when I ride with someone. Each time I am in the car with her, I literally save us from a really awful accident. Last Monday was about to be a head-on one. About 10 minutes later, she came close to hitting a pedestrian, and then blamed him for it. I dread to think what she does when I am not in the car.

The only suggestion I have is to NOT try to teach him yourself, or your DH either.

If your school doesn't over Drivers ED, you probably have someone local who teaches it. I don't think family members should teach their children to drive. It is too hard to be objective, for both of you.

Driving is too important to not have it taught
properly.

I also think 16 is the lowest age teens should be licensed.

Sue

We went through this a couple of years ago with oldest DS. We quickly realized I was no good at teaching him how to drive. DH ended up being the better instructor. He's had his license almost a year and it's still hard for me to be with him when he drives. Now DS#2, who turns 16 in November, is asking when he can get his permit. I feel more gray hairs coming on! Then we still have another child, DD (almost 13) that we will have to teach.

Right along with worrying about them driving is knowing friends are driving them places. I worry how they drive, too.

Nope, it's not easy!

Sheryl

I taught both my teens to drive. The first was the hardest. The first day I let her make a few turns in a parking lot. Then we tried a straight street, then turns, finally local streets for errands. She passed her road test the first time and was on her way. She's been driving two years, had one accident on an icy road this past winter. I couldn't blame her. The roads were so bad that day the cops had to close the road she was on. She has since bought her own car with her own money. Today she's 19 and a good driver. My younger daughter was easier to teach. Same technique but she picked it up faster.

How about encouraging a patient, easy-going, knowledgeable neighbour to take on the task?

Bonus for her/him: you get a "Driver's Handbook" ...

... read it yourself ...

... then give it to the neighbour ...

... who gets to upgrade his/her own driving ...

... who knows ... maybe your gift might enable him/her to improve his/her driving to the extent that s/he avoided an accident?

Then, after her/his study of the Handbook for a month ...

... your kid gets the Handbook for a week ...

... then the neighbour for a week ...

... and they spell off, week by week, for a while.

(And you and spouse get a sneaky peek at the Handbook on occasion while it's resident at your house for the youth to learn it).

Then, s/he begins teaching your youth the joy and mystery of driving.

ole joyful

P.S. Hey!! Wait a minute!!

Who's learning (re-learning) to drive here??

You??

Neighbour??

Kid??

As one who just went through a month and a half or so of restricted licence (requiring a licensed driver to sit beside me for me to drive anywhere) ...

... may I assure you - we all could use an upgrade, from time to time.

Most likely you can borrow a copy from your local library.

Between you, youth and neighbour, you should be able to keep it at your houses for six months or so.

If not so available ... buy one yourself.

When you've all finished with it ... donate it to the library.

And go back to borrow it, once a year.

o j

P.P.S. Know who'll be hardest to recruit to this useful adventure?

Your hubby.

Whatcha bet?

o j

olejoyful, I don't know about Canada, but the drivers handbook in my state has changed a lot in the years since I learned to drive. That was a long, long time ago, and everything has changed, But the basics of safe driving will never change. I remember my handbook had a set of rules to follow when you get behind the wheel. One was, "never drive barefoot" another was "never eat while driving" and "before putting the key in the ignition, adjust mirrors".

Steph, and all parents of soon to be drivers, I hope that you can convey to these teens that the car is not just another room in the house but is a deadly weapon. In the hands of a distracted driver it can mame and kill.
If the parent uses a cell phone while driving, don't expect your inexperienced teen driver not to. If you wolf down fries and a burger, your teen will see no problem with doing the same. And do enforce as best you can only 1 other person in the car with them for at least the first 6 months of driving. That is a tough one, but it was a rule with our 2 girls because I knew how silly and therefore distracted a group of teens can get.

It has been almost 30 years since I had that fear of my novice teen drivers on the road. Today's teens have even more distractions. I send my best wishes to you all for a safe driving teen.

No cell phones! Take the cell phone away please. Put an old one in the glove box that will dial 911 for emergencies.

Practice Practice Practice!

Teach defensive driving. It doesn't matter if it is the other guys fault! An accident is an accident - make the young driver know even if he or she has the right away - look out for that other driver.

In Iowa - you can be 14 for a learners permit. At 14.5 you can get a school permit if you have passed Drivers Ed and driven the required hours. You can drive ALONE to school. DD has been driving to school since August - I am just now getting used to seeing her putt out the driveway on her own - she is 15.

The general thought of having a cell phone for them is crazy. I see very young kids yakking and texting and paying NO attention to what is going on. Take that phone away - please!

Best advice anyone can give you about teaching a child to drive is: DON'T

First, 15 is way, way, way, way too young to let a child drive. The age is 17 in our our state (16.5 if they take an approved driving class)--and that's too young, IMO. Do not feel pressured to put your child behind the wheel of a multi-ton weapon unless you are totally sure he's mature enough to handle it. And remember--most teens turn really stupid and careless when they start to drive--no matter how responsible they are in other areas of life. (sorry, just my observation as a parent and high school teacher). At any rate--remind your child that it's not the law who decides when he's ready to drive, but his parents.

Once you've decided that he truly is ready for the responsibility, don't try to do it yourself. Teaching a child to drive is best left to the experts. I hired a good driving instructor for dd, and it was worth every penny. They know what and how to teach in the best way. Much better than those of us who have been driving on 'auto pilot' for the past 20-30 years. It really is the best way to go. And there's nothing wrong with making it his responsibility to pitch in for part of the cost. It will make the responsibility that much more real to him. And he'll take driving that much more seriously. Then, if he wants to drive your car, once he's passed and gotten his license, it's wise to make it a condition that HE pay the extra insurance you'll be assessed for an underage driver. If he can't afford it, he can't afford to drive, right?

As you can see, one of my big things with teaching teens to drive is teaching them not just the mechanics, but the serious responsibility that goes along with taking the wheel.

I got a state drivers manual, read thru it, and was shocked at the signage, many of them I couldn't even remember. A stop sign is red,I know, but how many sides? Six or eight? Both my kids took the written test before getting their learner's permit. Heavy on questions on drunk driving, driving while sleepy or while taking legal drugs-prescriptions, even OTC cold remedies. Both also took Drivers Ed. The older thru high school,the younger thru a private driver training school. They each got a certificate, good for money off our auto insurance. Biggest problem with teen drivers is distractions, such asradio,Ipod,cell phones, even friends in the car. Make some rules about using the car, like only one friend allowed, no driving at night, whatever else you think might "distract' your teen.

Steph, if you have a large old cemetary, windy, curvy road, with many intersections..take them there to practice. during the week when it's not so busy. then regular road.
No cell phone, No radio (even if they say it relaxes them)
limited conversation. Here in cleveland a local tv station sponsors a "accident avoidance" clinic/course that does cost but I would love to get my 20yo in on...had her liscense a month and had an accident with my little car, stupid move, didn't look before changing lanes. Told her she didn't have to focus on what was next to her just notice that there was something there. Debby

I think the more a kid drives the better they are.

I think they should start driving young (supervised) and drive as much as possible.

The 14.5 age for a school permit in Iowa is young - and some kids shouldn't be driving. Some parents do say no - they know their kids and they are right.

The Driver's Ed teacher can also say no - and that kid has to pass a test with the DOT - and that is VERY difficult. They don't pass if they don't have the skills.

As soon as my kid gets that learners permit at age 14 - I let them drive me everywhere in every condition. They drive me home from every athletic and school event. They drive me to the grocery store - every errand that I go on.

They are aslo farm kids who have driven different kinds of vehicles from age 10 or so. They are not allowed to drive a car or truck down the road - but they do bring pickups thorugh pastures, down closed roads, etc to us. They also drive tractors, gators, etc.

I think my 15 year old is a pretty good driver. I also realize she is 15 and that in itself has issues. She has no phone in the car - she has no passengers in the car either. She goes only to school and back home.

You want to be somewhere that is scary - go to the school parking lot about 3:30! I can spot the kids that don't get a lot of instruction. They don't even look behind them when they back out - YIKES!

I was a farm kid in 1944 when farmers were short of workers, after 5 years of war and got a licence at age 15.

No tests, no nuthin'.

But driving was a much different kettle of fish, to mix a metaphor, in those days.

Our province has rules about how many teens can be in the vehicle with a beginning, probationary driver and in the beginning such a driver must have a 4-year licensed driver sitting beside him/her for a number of months, until s/he passes an interim test ... and not driving in late night hours (midnight to 5 a.m.), or on expressways.

The driving instructor gave me some good advice and clipped some of my bad habits wings during our two trips together (about an hour and a half each) which, with some classroom instruction, runs at $80.00 per session.

On Sunday he said that he guessed that I was good for 5 years now znd his wife gave me a high five ...

... and I replied that my retreaded licence expires ...

... next January, at my 80th birthday.

People of that age must have a group training session (which I've heard some say to be quite useful) and a written test every two years, with some being required to take a driving test: I don't know the criteria involved in choosing who must do so.

It seems to me that a driving test is most important, for everyone: that's where the rubber meets the road!

Good wishes for safe driving, everyone - for you and yours (and others near you).

ole joyful ... appreciating being able to drive where and when I choose, again!

P.S. In my opinion, using hands-free cell phones is almost as dangerous as using a hand-held one ... it's the distraction from having one's full attention on the road and the nearby drivers that's the problem.

o j

I envy those of you with kids/grandkids who are getting their learners permits. Our 15 year old grandson has begun having seizures- lots of tests- no known cause. He has to be seizure free for 6 months before he can get a permit- frankly, I think 6 months is not long enough. I feel so badly for him because of what his future holds, not just about driving.

Patience -and a lot of it. I taught my 18 yr old step daughter to drive when she was 16 and I think she is a very good driver. My DD is 15 and counting down the days to getting her permit. They have driver's training in school so that helps but they still have to have a ton of hours of driving in prior to getting their license.

I agree 100% with getting the cell phone out of the car. Do old phones work just to call 911? I have lots of them.

Also in California you can't drive with anyone under I think it's 21 maybe 23-24 in the car for one year. You would not believe how many of step DD's friends' parents did not abide by that rule. It shocked me really. It's for their kids own good. Our DD didn't like it but she did it.

I was a farm kid in 1944 when farmers were short of workers, after 5 years of war and got a licence at age 15.

No tests, no nuthin'.

But driving was a much different kettle of fish, to mix a metaphor, in those days.

Our province has rules about how many teens can be in the vehicle with a beginning, probationary driver and in the beginning such a driver must have a 4-year licensed driver sitting beside him/her for a number of months, until s/he passes an interim test ... and not driving in late night hours (midnight to 5 a.m.), or on expressways.

The driving instructor gave me some good advice and clipped some of my bad habits wings during our two trips together (about an hour and a half each) which, with some classroom instruction, runs at $80.00 per session.

On Sunday he said that he guessed that I was good for 5 years now znd his wife gave me a high five ...

... and I replied that my retreaded licence expires ...

... next January, at my 80th birthday.

People of that age must have a group training session (which I've heard some say to be quite useful) and a written test every two years, with some being required to take a driving test: I don't know the criteria involved in choosing who must do so.

It seems to me that a driving test is most important, for everyone: that's where the rubber meets the road!

Good wishes for safe driving, everyone - for you and yours (and others near you).

ole joyful ... appreciating being able to drive where and when I choose, again!

P.S. In my opinion, using hands-free cell phones is almost as dangerous as using a hand-held one ... it's the distraction from having one's full attention on the road and the nearby drivers that's the problem.

o j

We found that one of most nerve racking manuevers was learning to parallel park, especially if real vehicles were involved. Here's what we did. We set up practice situations using cardboard boxes. First, find a place to practice. We used an empty street in a new subdivision undergoing developemnt. A school parking lot after hours is a choice also. Set up the boxes to simulate two parked cars, at first, allowing plenty of space, then practice parking between them. As confidence builds, reduce allocated space. Be sure to practive parallel parking for both sides of a street, because this situation is found on one-way streets.

If the wind begins to blow the boxes around, add a few rocks in the boxes to keep them on place.

The new driver gets an ice cream treat when he/she can consistently parallel park without smashing or moving a box.

I taught myself to drive a stick-shift when I was fourteen. Stupid, but the pickup truck was in the driveway, my parents were gone for the whole day, and I wanted to go buy some fabric. Not downtown, but at a big-for-the-time shopping center which had a fabric department. So off I went, with my baby brothers in the seat with me. We made it back fine. Like I said, just stupid. Later, not knowing I had been driving the 40's pickup, my dad succumbed to my begging and said he'd teach me to drive. After one session, he bought a $25 car (yes, you could still get them then) and told me to go out on the country roads and learn. Can you imagine this now?

Later, many years ago and in another life, I taught my much younger brother, my stepdaughter, and my son. Brother was easy (he has gears for brains), SD fought me tooth and nail about driving a manual shift, and son was easy. He had a little problem with thinking he was the only driver in the parking lot and crashed into a Mercedes! He paid for it, too. Learned a lot about mirrors.

SD taught all three of her sons to drive her beloved standard-shift Toyota. Brother has never had an accident in his life, son has never had another. SD had one while still living at home: slid on an icy hill on the way home from work.

Empty parking lots are great places to learn all kinds of things, and I used them. Also impressed upon them all (eventually) that parking lots are some of the most dangerous places! Even if you're looking, someone else might not be! Parallel parking was taught with sawhorses. We carried them in the trunk and set up as needed. A really satisfying bump when one was hit, and the car was already beat up enough it didn't matter.

Many years ago in another life.

This is exactly the practical, experienced knowledge I needed. ;o) Thank you.

I have read a lot on the state website for drivers licenses. It is very thorough, very helpful, I have lots more to read yet. He will be required to take a driver's training class, I knew that. Unfortunately, our school district does not offer it. We will have to go private, and the cost is $650 for 30 hr class (the min. requirement) + 10 hr driving. He also must have an additional 40 hours behind the wheel with someone 21+ (Mom and Dad!) He has to have the permit 12 months before he can test for a license. The license he can get at 16 has a lot of restrictions. Maybe we should make him save/pay for the class, that'll slow him down. LOL. Seriously, I think 1/2 is fair, considering what this will do to our insurance!

The website has pages and pages of PDFs for parents of new teen drivers. But ya know, that's only the rules. I needed to know what you more experienced parents have been through.

BTW, DS is "The last person in the whole school without a cell phone!" LOL. We will likely get one for him eventually, for the practical side of having reliable communication. But I'm hoping that by putting it off so long he will beyond the age of using it as a "new toy" like his peers.

He is a good kid, he really is. A good student, responsible. But he's a little "blonde" as we tease him. He hears a lot about the responsibilities and risks of driving. He is named for my cousin who was killed in a car accident at 16, a passenger. So he hears a lot about that, how fast it can happen, the effects on everyone else. DS is cautious, just has better hindsight than foresight, ya know, typical teen.

Ugh! This is all getting harder! Parenting, I mean. The decisions at this point have far greater consequences than up to this point. I'm sure I'll be back often seeking the wisdom of those safely past the teen years, with no one in jail or rehab. LOL.

I'm still waiting for a Wednesday off to take Alex to get his permit. It won't happen till the end of the month. He's not in any hurry which is fine by me. I'm not looking forward to him getting behind the wheel. He has driven before, when he was younger, up on the mountain we used to live on...so he's not totally new to it.

My "young" driver is now 21. Never a ticket.

His only accident was with me in the car, just 2 weeks after getting his permit. He was doing about 20mph, and watching a cyclist approach us. The cyclist was weaving all over the road (riding a very steep uphill grade). As I cautioned Paul, a freaking deer jumped from behind a parked car and crashed into the passenger-side front fender.

The deer ran off - probably OK. We had no injuries, but the van had to be towed.

While I don't advocate this method of training young drivers, LOL, it DID make my son very cautious!

On a far more practical note, once my son had his permit, I had him drive to school daily with me as passenger, and I drove the car home. Reverse in the evenings.

NO passengers until he'd been driving 6 months.

No kids but I taught my nephew to drive. He was quite surprised when I pulled into the cemetary for his first driving lesson! I figured there's no traffic and he couldn't hurt anybody there. Lots of long winding roads looping around. I also told him if he didn't learn to be a good driver this is where he'd end up!

we had (in 1988) a very good driving course in ca thru the school system...my dd who attended there is at 34 a responsible driver...wish i oculd say the same for the 3 who learned in mi...

in fact when we moved to mi, she (at 16) drove our one car almost the entire way...(i was driving the other) i did use ideas and safety methods my private instructor (when i was in hs) and thru classes when i worked for the phone co...

dh taught them to use a stick shift, as well...

DD took Driver's Ed classes and we let her drive around the subdivision and empty parking lots. She thought she had it all down pat until the day she got her learner's permit and I let her drive home. It's a lot different having to stay on your side of the road with cars whizzing by. lol

We let her drive everywhere we went including vacations the year she had her permit. She's had her liscense now for 3 years and is a very safe driver.

Hi like to learn,

Do ya figger that the inhabitants of the cemetery may have gossiped about your nephew's driving capability?

o j