As this forum proves over and over, there's some people who choose to be offended by anything! I think some make it a hobby if not a profession! :)

But the problem here is she has the right to reasonable quietness. Does she know the people at all? I'd approach them and calmly talk to them about it and suggest the area rug and pull the bed away from the wall a bit too. Tell them the problems and see if they can't work something out. If your daughter is being bothered, likely other neighbors (next door specifically) are probably being bothered too. They'll likely all be embarrassed a bit, if they have a conscience, but if they're reasonable people they'd probably appreciate knowing so they can do something about it. I doubt they're doing it to maliciously disturb people.

If after some reasonable attempts they aren't willing to try to accommodate a bit, then I'd complain to the landlord. A police call in the middle of the night would be a surprise they wouldn't like. And there's the other "old" options of banging a broom handle on the ceiling, but that's tacky too as would be a note under the door. They'll doubtlessly know from whom it came.

I think being upfront with people and giving them a chance is always the best approach to a problem. Otherwise she'll sulk and complain and nothing will change.

Maybe it a not just "two" but several coming in and out for whatever reason. Me I would either talk to the landlord, or pound on their door and scream at them-but seriously, tell her to be careful and talk to her boss at work so it does not affect her work performance. Not sure if the landlord can "legally" do much, Does this happen every night?

My friend experienced this. She lives in a townhouse and shares a common wall with her neighbours. Both my friend and her young neighbour couple had their headboards up against the same wall. My friend ended up moving her bed to the other side of the room and ran a fan at night to mask the noise. She got her needed sleep and her neighbours ended up with 2 beautiful babies. LOL

Our neighbourhood experienced this problem a few years ago in the summer with my friend Tom across the street. He had a new girlfriend who was quite "vocal" and his open bedroom window faced the street. You could see people walking down the street and covering their kids ears LOL. I remember one kid worried about this lady who was screaming and wanted his Mom to go help her. LOL Many of us around here like to sit on our porches and talk back and forth. We had fun that summer laughing about Tom and his noisy girlfriend. Rob next door would say "get the beer, the show's about to start" LOL My brother was here one day. He had gone to highschool with Tom and when Tom came out of his house he yelled over "you're the man Tom" and laughed. Tom asked Paul what he meant so Paul told him. He was astonished that everyone that walked by his house that summer and all the neighbours had heard his girlfriend. A few years later when Tom and I were sitting on his porch we joked about it. He has since rented his house out and moved in with that girlfriend and the families can safely walk down the street again. LOL

We all still laugh about that "summer of love"

Anne

I vote: talk to the couple themselves.

Made me tired just reading the post LOL

Does this happen every night? I'd talk to the landlord first and see if the issue gets resolved. The neighbors may not be aware they causing that much noise.

I think your daughter should think long and hard before saying ANYTHING to either the couple or the apt. manager. There are a lot of possible scenarios where doing so could put her in a lot of danger.

Why doesn't she look for some direct alternatives? A white noise machine? a CD player loaded with her favorite relaxing music with headphones? Leaving the TV on when she goes to bed? Rearranging her apt. so her bed isn't right under the atheletic neighbor's. There are a lot of things she could do to minimize the effect of their acrobatics. And who knows, maybe it's a new relationship and things will be cooling down in the near future anyway.

I don't see how talking to them (or the manager) would put her in danger? This exact same thing happens at my apartment. All hardwoods, so the apartments above and below each other can hear anything each other does. I had the same problem, but it was my sister and her boyfriend living below me so I just told her to try and keep it down a bit. Nobody needs to hear their family members doing that! LOL

Luckily she just moved though, so it should be interesting to see who moves in.

If I were her, I would just leave a note or talk to them face to face if she knows them at all. I'm sure they will try and be quieter. Otherwise, not sure there is a lot she can do.

Cynic, I didn't get the feeling that the daughter was offended, just suffering from lack of sleep. I like some of Azzalea's thoughts concerning changing her own apartment's arranging.

My next thought is the woman (Rob Reiner's Mom, by the way) who said the famous line in "When Harry Met Sally": "I'll have what she's having!
LOL

If it were me, I would tap 2-3 times on the ceiling with a broom handle at the appropriate times. These people probably have no idea they are disturbing others, and most people would not want to be awakening their neighbors.

This happened to my son who gets up at 3:30 a.m. to go to work--he wasn't aware he was so noisy, but neighbors tapped and he now keeps the radio down very low and is as quiet as he can be.

I agree with those who say just talk to them. They can't fix something if they don't know about it.

I think I'd try changing the area where the DD sleeps, run a fan or white noise machine, sleep with earplugs.. that sort of thing before approaching the neighbors. I doubt they can keep up the current pace for long anyhow.

With the way the forum has been going lately, I'm surprised someone hasn't jumped in to defend the noisy neighbors with something like "Poor neighbors! Leave them alone, the 'friskiness' may be the only joy in their lives.". LOL

LOL Lydia!

I don't see how she would be in any danger talking with the landlord or the neighbors directly. I remember years ago having a bachlor live above me and he had wall-to-wall carpeting. Some nights it sounded like his bed was going to come crashing right through the ceiling. My roommate finally joked with him about it and the noise stopped. When I lived in apartments, I always kept ear plugs in my night stand. Floor fans provide a nice white noise.

Linda, when you said when you used to live in apartments I thought you were going to say you moved the bed away from the wall.
LOL

It has been many years since we lived in an apartment but I remember we had to have rugs. My MIL also had to put rugs in her apartment as the floors were not allowed to be bare for that reason. It doesn't matter what is going on, rugs mask the sound of things falling, people running, footsteps etc.

I was trying to keep my answer short, but since so few understood what I meant, here goes:

2 scenarios jump immediately to mind given the frequency and timing of the noise.

One--she's got a 'professional' living above her. People engaged in illegal activites generally don't take kindly to being told to tone it down, and often have the kind of friends who will be glad to assist in toning down the neighbor.

Or--what if--and I think this is more likely--it's a couple where one is somewhat sex-addicted and controlling, and possibly 'forcing' the issue with the less assertive partner? A guy like that thinks very little of women in general, and a woman who complained could possibly be putting herself in danger.

Since she apparently doesn't know this couple, she has no way of knowing what kind of people they are.

Yes, most of us, when told that our activities are bothering someone else WOULD try to be considerate and help find a solution to the problem. BUT not all people are like that at all. She has no way of knowing if they're the type who will thank her and buy a rug and thick padding OR the type who will key her car the next time she isn't looking--and there's far too much of that sort of thing going on these days, unfortunately

I just think a single woman, living alone (if she is), needs to be a bit circumspect about starting a feud with a neighbor she knows little about. My dd recently had a different kind of incident at her condo. She had the good sense NOT to confront the 'perpetrators', but took the proper steps to protect herself against what they were doing, without letting them know she wasn't happy about the situation. I know that's oblique, but it's the best I can do, without identifying the situation too much.

Please, do tell your dd to be very careful--these days there are far too many angry nutcases running around loose.

It always amazes me when people think that the noise they make would never disturb others, or even just be heard. I creep around MY OWN house like a quiet little mouse if Woody's asleep or if we have company. I'm the same in motels, too. I whisper and keep the TV low, hating to make noise in case it bothers someone.

My father, on the hand, makes NO effort to be quiet in a motel room and I nearly had a stroke from the nervousness it caused me, I couldn't get him out of there fast enough, I was mortified by his loud voice at 5 AM. I never traveled with him again! I couldn't stand it.

I would find out the peoples' phone number and call them one morning and ask them if they knew that at least 3 other apartments could hear them "exercising". lol

Nah, I wouldn't really, but I would tell the landlord, it's not fair to lose sleep over their inconsiderations.

My mischievous, quite unhelpful thought ...

... suggest that they get a hammock?

My thought would be that I'd knock on their door, on some innocuous errand, if I could think of something plausible, and scope the people a bit. Then perhaps I'd have a better idea of what was appropriate.

But - I'm an old man, not a much younger, more vulnerable, single female.

Does she know whether the tenants are a couple? My mischievous mind also wondered whether the apartment might have taken on a new role as part of the red light district.

ole joyful

Talk to the couple.
Do not talk to the landlord. None of his business and he can't do anything, anyways.
Having to listen to lovemaking is part of apartment living.
And, call the police? I'm sure they'll come running over. Not.

Thank you for all your responses. My DD has no idea who lives above her. She says it pretty much happens every night, but on weekends she doesn't have to get up at 6:00 a.m., so it's mainly an issue during the week. DD can't really rearrange her apartment, which is very small with only one bedroom, so there is nowhere else her bed can be located. She already has a fan running in her bedroom as it's getting quite warm and the apt. isn't air conditioned, but she says it hasn't stopped her from being awakened by the vibrations against the ceiling. I've suggested using ear plugs as well, but DD is worried that masking/blocking all sound might solve THAT problem, but cause her to sleep through her alarm, or worse yet, a fire alarm.

DD's hesitant to poke the ceiling or speak to them in person, in case it angers them, as she has no idea what kind of people they are, as Azzalea mentioned. She thought putting a polite note under the door might seem less formal than asking the landlord to intervene, at least as a first attempt. Between leaving a note, or asking the landlord to speak to them, which would you do?

I'd put a note under their door that read:
"A lovely thick area rug under your bed, would allow me to sleep through the night in my bed. Thanks." and then draw a smiley face if she wants to make it a light tone.

Jodi-

A couple of thoughts -

1) just talk to them. I once had this same thing going on where I didn't know the guy very well and didn't know the girlfriend at all. I could hear them most every night with the headboard bumping up against my wall. I ran into him in the laundry room one time and kidded him about hearing him and his girlfriend - he was so embarrassed and thanked me for letting him know. I never heard them again and I'm sure he was more careful in any other place he lived.

2) If DD knows any of the other residents who share a wall, perhaps chat with them to see if any of them hear what's going on. If she's uncomfortable being direct with the noisy neighbors, perhaps a note under the door would work, and write something like what Jodi suggested, in a light, playful tone. If other people are hearing it as well as DD, then the noisy people won't know who left the note. And wording it like Jodi suggested doesn't incriminate the person who wrote the note. Meaning the noisy couple won't have a clue who wrote it nor have a clue who all can hear them.

The timing of this thread it interesting, as I have been having issues with this as well. I live in a building that has 8 different apartments. The couple in question live across the hall on the upper floor, we are on the lower floor. While I don't hear them every night, when I do hear them, it is VERY loud. The first night my windows were open and I thought that I heard a woman crying. Within minutes I realized that she was NOT crying. Last night, my windows were closed. First I heard a loud banging noise coming from out in the hallway, and then I heard her screaming. I opened the front door and she was screaming out so so loud.

Now, I'm somewhat on the fence about this. I find it comical and rude at the same time. Either way, I really don't feel all that comfortable hearing the act taking place. Last night I screamed "I'm about sick of hearing you two having sex all the time!"

What I don't understand is, she HAS to know how loud she is. If she absolutely MUST be so overly vocal, why can't she close her window??

I like Jodi's idea of a note though. If I hear them again, I will do that.

I wish your daughter all the best in hopes for a full nights sleep real soon. :)

Denny and I used to pound on our ceiling with the broom handle.....it wasn't long until you'd hear someone leave.

Put my name to Jodi's post. I would leave a friendly note.

DD called last night. She happened to run into the landlord while returning from work and decided to ask what is the proper protocol to handle this problem, as it's her first time in an apartment. Well the landlord told DD that in fact, the upper neighbour and both side neighbours have already been putting in complaints of the same nature! Apparently a couple originally lived in the unit, but they moved out about 6 weeks ago and sublet it to a single woman.

The landlord said she has already spoken to the woman, who was completely unapologetic of the fact that none of her neighbours could sleep. When the other tenants continued complaining, the landlord warned the woman that (although she can't be kicked out early) she can be refused renewal of her lease when it expires on June 1st. Since the woman was unwilling to even address the problem, she's been told she cannot renew her lease, so they'll be free of her in a few weeks. The landlord was amazed that DD hadn't complained prior to now, especially since she's in the unit (& bedroom) directly below. Anyway, she won't have to put up with it much longer.

Thanks for the update. I had just thought of making a recording for the upstairs tenants. LOL

Moni

I didn't read all the responses, so maybe this was already addressed. Since this seems to be going on and off all night long, maybe she has a little business going.

I'm glad to hear the problem is being solved.

Heatherinohio, next time yell: "Haven't the batteries in that thing worn out YET?!!!"

Excellent update! Hurry up June 1st. I think I'd be leaving fliers about sexually transmitted diseases in the hall leading to her apartment. :) lol

Aww, I am too late with my excellent suggestion.

Bake them some "salt peter" cookies ;)

Who is truly only joking and would NEVER NEVER suggest putting anything in a persons food for real.

Where were all of you funsters prior to the "all's well that's (almost) to end well" message came through??

ole joyfoul

P.S. Sometimes a few quiet words at the right time and place (and to/with the right people) are really helpful when one faces a dilemma.

o j

des_arc_ya_ya, the OP has said her daughter didn't want to offend them and I was merely pointing out that some people will be offended if you say "good morning" to them! Sometimes you can't win. :)

Glad the problem is being resolved, so far anyway! :) Hopefully the new neighbors won't have the same issues.

LOL, Dances!!

Sorry, Cynic. I completely misunderstood your post. :)

Offer to make videocams??

o j

Since all of you are missing sleep anyway....... and since she seems to have a regular schedule.................
Maybe you should all be standing in the hallway to greet her next guest!

& give them cards from 1 to 10.

From 1 - 3 (possiby 4) ...

... and retread them on the way out - a shame to be wasteful, right?

ole joyful

omg talk about embarrassiing! we had an end unit with our door facing the walkway...as you were standing at our front door this very young couple's bedroom window was there...had a houseful of dh's fellow navy buddies when they "let loose"...needless to say it was quite an evening, lol...we moved soon afer...

Do you have a voice recorder?
Record the, well, humm, activities then play it back, at full volume during the lull.....

Good luck!

Lori