You're are so right, I can't stop laughing. I agreed with you on that forum about it being funny. LOL, nice to have people with the sense of humor that OP has.

Now tell me, how do you get to the Garden Junk forum on your own without your link to guide me?

I found it funny as well, maybe because I am from NJ as well. I live in a charming town with many capes, cottages, and colonials, in which many have been transformed into beige vinyl sided mcmansions, so I can feel her frustration. Every single thing she listed, I've seen it here, and I found it funny.
And yes- I buy flowers as Shoprite :)

I think it's all in the way the OP said the things they said. I didn't take any of it personally because I think it was written to make people laugh, not feel badly.

I just love that forum. Was browsing some of the posts and there are some very creative people on there. I'll be checking in often. Add me to the "tacky" list I suppose.

Wow, some of those other posters sure got their panties in a bunch!

My favorite was #11 - Two Chairs next to each other in the front yard.
Even on a nice day, no one occupies them. Because you're on display like a museum diorama, because you're getting bitten by midges, because you can't sit there and drink beer and smoke Marlboros without attracting the wrong kind of attention, because you don't live on a street where ANYthing is actually happening to watch and there's no open sky view across the street and because we don't live in an ear where your friends stroll down the road to come say hi and sit next to you. The chairs are so silly no one even steals them.
And I'm the owner of a back yard bench that will probably never be sat on.

Is anyone else having problems with the link?

The link didn't work for me, either, I get this message -

Whoops!

I couldn't find that message, but there are plenty more in the Garden Junk Forum.

You also might want to look at the complete list of GardenWeb Forums.

Sounds like someone had it pulled. That's a shame, it was funny.

I guess I got to look at it just in time - it looks like it has been pulled. They really are sensitive about their junk garden art! I found this thread about what I consider to be pretty much an eyesore of a front yard rather telling.

Wow, if they couldn't find the humor in that then I don't think I want to go hang out over there. Too serious about junk in the garden. I'm not sure that's healthy.

Wasn't it basically saying that "art/junk" created from recycled stuff is tacky though? Sometimes those jokes come across as a little passive-agressive, IMO, whether that's the intent for posting them or not.

There are, however, far greater things at which to take offense. ;-)

AJ, it was the way it was written that I found so humorous. I didn't take the person writng as really being serious because the spin and humor was really comical. It sounded like a stand up comedy act and not someone's personal thoughts. Not like here when people get to trashing different decor styles. LOL

Did you see Dilly Dally's spin on Craig's list ads? That's how I took this poster's comments. Just as funny "material" not personal attacks. Dang, I wish I had copied it.

You KNOW one of them must have copied it, and prolly would send it by request to us, their sisters in decoration. Anyone buds with someone over there?
We can send it around email.
BTW, do y'all remember when they would send bad people to Disney for a while? Do they still do that here?

No, they just stop person from posting. When I was banned after being reported for something I said on HT's, I could view, but couldn't post.

Oh is THAT why you don't post there any more, Bru? I thought you just stopped because the election was over.

Would anybody care to tell us what we missed on this link that has apparently been taken down?

I can't say exactly, but the OP made fun of every garden nick nack and design you can imagine. That's what made it funny, they left no stone unturned, so to speak. They talked about the shiny balls some people have and how bad they looked, etc. They talkabout about people who shop at grocery stores for their plants and their ill placement of them. Talked about innappropriate landscape design, using different items in the garden for decoration. I'm going to risk it and go post a message over there and ask the OP to e-mail me the post. If you don't hear or see me again, you'll know I shouldn't have done that. LOL

Posted by vikireed New Jersey (My Page) on
Wed, May 6, 09 at 9:49

I've been enjoying the older 'what not to do' in the forums. I'd like to start a new one because there are things left unsaid.....

Fully agree on the shearing forsythias, the over and misuse of landscape lighting, the dairy queen twist of stark topiaries, for sure dyed mulches gotta go, too many evergreens, bug homicide and plastic flowers-including plastic ivy trailing up mailboxes...

HOW ABOUT:

1. A landscaping look that starts with incredibly uniform stone veneer cladding on their house? It just has the rustic appeal of a plaid jacket and sets a bad tone for the rest of the yard.

2.Grand, Doris Duke style circular driveways....carved from small front yardage on lots that used to have old homes but now have ranches converted to two-stories (kind of like wearing a tiara with overalls).

Let's not even forget the binary code looking arrangement of immature bushes, shrubs and grocery store annuals that border and fill the big center display of these circular drives. Reminds me of the drunk guy at the party who's friends drew a frito bandito mustachio on his face before he sobered up.

3. The ubiquitous Water Feature To Nowhere. We've all seen it. Someone establishes a round or kidney shaped water feature as close to their external front porch outlet as possible , whether it makes sense or not. It's small, and set so far back from the road that no one 'enjoys' it, and the owner probably isn't sitting at the front window proudly gazing while unable to hear the trickle because of the street traffic. These infamous things of non beauty also often feature fibreoptic color changing schemes and instead of a spray or spew the water gurgles like a water main busted in the middle of Brooklyn.

4. Gazing balls and other balls. A single gazing ball on display is distracting. If you pulled into your driveway and saw a teaspoon laying there, it would have the same artistic flow. They're meant for secret spots full of soulful personal touches. Seen in the company of blue glass bottle trees and interesting boulders. Where they can be really examined and where they have the scale to work in their surroundings. Gold is NEVER a good idea unless you're royalty and it's real.

5. Wind Chimes with handy craft danglers. You've seen them. Every size and length...some yards and porches are cursed by them...like a mechanical wisteria.

Sometimes the chimes reflect a personal collecting fetish...like Betty Boop, the Pittsburgh Steelers, or Dachsunds and Dragonflies. Often they are hung so close to their homes that any severe weather results in a thoroughly violent raking of the owner's siding not to mention not a single musical tone. You get the feeling that if you came in the night and added, oh, 29 or so new sets of chimes, the owner would never know.

Too much of one element, like "tacky" or "cheap" is not a design choice unless you consider wearing all yellow from shoes to top...a design choice for every day.

6. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!! I'm not a hater, I love a good celebration much as anyone , even more because I'm an obnoxious child at heart.

But...the flags...the mailbox covers...the door coverings...doorknob adornments...it takes more effort and thought to remove them than to throw them in your cart at Lowes after a post -holiday price slash. Please stop it.

7. Mosquito Lovers Buffet! Don't you love it when a neighbor abandons efforts to use their composter... leaves the odd trashcan or container where the wind took it...pretends the filthy kiddie pool isn't really there because they're not using it...pretend their clogged gutters are still directing water somewhere...imagines the slime green bird bath is performing a real aviary service....when in fact all these containers and more are collecting mosquitio eggs and hatching creepy looking larvae which turn into the reason you can't put a fire pit in your back yard or hang outside past 2 pm in the summer.

8. TIRED OF TIRED? Recylcing is good. Cutting a bunch of tires in half to make a garden border that looks like a rubber loch ness monster is not. Being green is important, sticking a tire at the highest peak on your curb appeal and filling it with purple and yellow pansies is something you do when you've run out of coffee cans or old toilets.

9. McMansions where farms used to be. There's a reason those 1-2 million dollar 'homes' have no mature trees, no wild deciduous organic appeal, no shade or heart.

WHy don't you insist on trees that are at least 10 years old and not 9 months old when you pay that much for a chicken coop?

Because they're sitting on 1/2 acre 'lots' that used to be rows of cabbage and strawberries. Where fertile red dirt once filled the air and town with living growing things and the sounds of tractors and open skyline with fantastic sunset views and bushels of giant eggplants and cantelope sweetly filling the nose of passers by....now we see cheaply made 6-8 car garages attached to vast and poorly insulated high end warehouses. The facades are faux stone and brick...but only on the front. The windows from their world too small and out of whack with the logical beautiful sensical structures that used to fill our historic townships. The plantings are anal and no maintenance and it shows. WHen the owners look out their side windows...they see their neighbors watching tv just a few feet away...just enough room in the back of hte property for a spanking new barely to be used $12,000 redwood swingset playgym. These artless buildings seem to actually frown and have no shame or guilt for being what they are where they are.

9. Iron fencing. It's the ultimate statement. "I need to cordon off my property but I don't care if everyone can see into my yard or climb over the fence. Mostly I never want to think about the fence again, so what if I don't have a victorian 3 story, I never have to paint this badboy, and it has an electronic gate!

10. STUCCO. This is a trend that I mention because it infests the rest of your landscaping choices. THis is not Southern California. This is not Italy or Spain. Stucco is uggo. Just like you can't have a cactus or a giant Palm tree in your yard , you should just back away from the stucco siding, the claypot roofs and adobe color schemes. This is a COLONIAL HISTORICAL area. Not a potential 'hot property' listing for your personal investment adventures.

11. Two Chairs next to each other in the front yard.
Even on a nice day, no one occupies them. Because you're on display like a museum diorama, because you're getting bitten by midges, because you can't sit there and drink beer and smoke Marlboros without attracting the wrong kind of attention, because you don't live on a street where ANYthing is actually happening to watch and there's no open sky view across the street and because we don't live in an ear where your friends stroll down the road to come say hi and sit next to you. The chairs are so silly no one even steals them.

12. A single small boulder. Not a honkin spectacular huge specimen which looks like you mugged Central Park West's woodlands....Just a smallish boulder sitting all alone at the head of your driveway....or off center in the front yard. What are you trying to say with this one rock? Is this where you buried your last victim? Do you think it will grow into the massive gorgeous boulder from Kentucky we all dream about possessing? Shhhh, shush shush...don't answer. Get the rock company, at least 6 or 7 rocky friends. Make a tiny suburban stonehenge or pyramid or something more declarative. It's a boulder. Either it should make a statement or be given to a turtle to catch rays on.

13. Grocery store gardeners. Heather is just heather, lavender too, and no matter where you get marigolds or pansies they're still what they are...but if your sole consideration and main sources of garden life and supplies are Acme or Wegmans, you don't deserve to garden.

I get it, in late September when the front of grocery store is full of end of season sales, I say go for it. Plant it, overwinter it and you've got a great deal.

But if you fill your yard with all you can fit into your Shoprite cart then you've not only paid too much but you lack vision. Just get a hanging tomato plant set up and pay someone to do it for you. The cost would be very similar.

14. Lord Of The Crazy Sunflowers. Sunflowers rock. Especially the unconventional ones. But on their own , it's a bit like seeing a serial killer chained to your front porch, or a bunch of serial killers. Maybe they're just cousins 5th removed who fell off tractors and they eat cereal out of a trough and hamburgers by the dozen on Friday nights for somethign special but they are chained to your front porch or iron fencing ...just staring and hovering and watching you...

15. Coral Bells, Coral Bells, Hostas all the way...Oh what fun it is to plant mums all night and day-AY! I know they're asy to propogate and they're like free plants all year every year, but EVERY DIY garden, curb appeal, landscape show slaps these perrenials down in military rows. Mix it up, it's bad cake design.

16. Statues: Things That Stare At You With No Eyes....
Doric columns and Sitting Lions belong in front of libraries and court houses, stop it. There's a reason that 8 foot Neptune with Triton Statue is STILL sitting in the garden center, 30 years later with an $800 price tag. Cherubs are worthless if you can see the joiner seam all the around their fake baby bodies. Stop with the statues of Frogs Doing Human Things.

Commit or run screaming. I had a neighbor who had fake deer, fake kitties on the roof, fake birds, fake bunnies, chipmunks, squirrels, turtles, frogs, raccoons, mice, beagles, and lizards everywhere. In the yard, on the roof, on the front porch and front stoop, holding lamps at the end of the driveway by the mailbox, crawling up the mailbox post....THAT was impressive and I had NO problem with it. I fully expected a plaster Snow White to come out to the car with a thermos of coffee every day. I smiled when I walked or drove by.

But STOP putting statues that don't express an artistic movement you love and understand, a gardening movement you want to emulate down to the "T", or something of true one of a kind beauty without being hideous. Gnomes cannot be hollow or plastic. Japanese characters on stones made of resin are QUESTIONABLE at best. Dolphins leaping-painted or no...probably belong at your local Marina or seafood restaurant at best.

Keep trying. No one's got a green thumb to start with. But make the effort. Don't sleepwalk through it. It's a flower bed, not a Snugli.

Great timing, I just posted a message over there about the thread that will most probably get me reprimanded or kicked off. LOL Thanks for reposting.

Bru, thanks for the synopsis.

Msventoux, oh my gosh, that's hysterical! Whoever wrote that should be a professional writer. I don't know how you did it, but thanks for sharing that with us. I can't imagine how that would upset anyone becaue it's so tongue-in-cheek funny. I mean, I have one, single, solitary gazing ball with no blue bottle trees, and I'm not in the least offended. Oh, there now I admitted it!

That post is too funny!! Thanks for posting! I personally find it funny not offensive.

Brutuses, i don't think anything will happen just for a request.

In the old days, if you did something bad, you would get sent to the Disney website every time you tried to log on, until the webmaster thought that you had done enough penance and then you got to come back.

I searched for the OP's name but the only thread that came up was the Queen's Throne thread, and her post must have been deleted/removed; I can just imagine what her comments were on an old toilet repurposed as a planter in a garden, tank and bowl have plants in them.
Skip on by, I say; and to each his own.

I'm assuming she was not a regular poster on the Garden Junk forum so her thread would have been interpreted as critical and targeted.

msventoux, thanks SO much for tracking that down and posting it here. Hilarious!!!!

Now I gotta go get a carton of Marlboros and park myself in one of my two garden chairs...

Oh, and here's the Queen's Throne thread, if anyone's interested...

Here is a link that might be useful: Queen's Throne

Oh yes Lucille, it's called "being disruptive". LOL, the powers that be talk to us and treat us like we're in pre-K.

I'm not sure if it was the original post that was offensive. Some of the responses were pretty rowdy. There was a good one about a gazing ball and one's secret spot, but I can't repeat it here. LOL.

Brutuses, I've been checking for a post from you, I'm glad you're still here.

Queen's Throne... seriously... would you put that in your yard?

Thanks Lucille, I guess I wasn't "disruptive" after all. LOL

Funny! I loved that. What a hoot. (I totally agree with the tire thing. I don't get it.)

Oh boy some of those folks have no sense of humor. Sounds like this could be the person who had it deleted. She seems to have internalized that original post. I so want to answer but I know I'll end up canned so I'm keeping it zipped. LOL

Posted by susiewantsroses (ddsetidwell@cebridge.net) on Fri, May 8, 09 at 17:33

It was a "Computer Troll". They go to various Forums and post inflamatory remarks to get attention. And it worked. It's like going in Mcdonalds and shouting veggitarian slogans. This was the wrong forum for those comments. The reason we have so many different forums is so everyone can find areas to 'harmonize', not insult. We are not a garden art 'debate Forum'. We are here to offer encouragement and inspiration to like-minded garden art lovers/crafters. I'm not even sure if their comments would fit on our 'conversations' side of Garden Junk.
We do not come to criticise and be diverse. Maybe they can just create their own "Hate Forum", it is a free Country.

Hi everyone. I'm from the garden junk forum, that is, that's the forum I most frequent. Although I wouldn't put a toilet in my yard, or at least I thought so until I saw the link below, I think its ok if others want to.
I was surprised that vikireed's post was pulled. We do have a tradition of not trashing each others taste and being polite, warm and supportive which I like a lot. I've been on forums where a mispelled word is enough to set someone on an angry tirade, which I don't like. However I'm very surprised at the censorship and the idea that we apparently need to be protected to this extent.
Brutus I hope that the fact that you don't like everything that we do doesn't keep you away.
By the way, Susiewantsroses is a lovely person who creates amazing things in her yard. I don't agree with her about the censorship which I have said in the thread that Brutus started.
Now I'm worried that even posting this might send me to the farm, er I mean Disney.
kathy

Here is a link that might be useful: Mosaic planter

"We do not come to criticise and be diverse. ....... it is a free Country. "

If it is a free country, a little criticism is OK.
Honestly, I read the original post and it was funny. It is OK to laugh at yourself and others occasionally in a comfortable way, I didn't see anyone was really out to flame those kinds of decors.

I've been reading but not been posting here lately and I have often enjoyed lurking on Garden Junk. Coming out of lurkdom to chime in.

The way I see it, a big problem was that the original post was made by someone who was not a regular forum member and it seemed inappropriate for the forum. It just felt mean- spirited. Even if this was not the intent, it was an inappropriate place to post it. If you are not a regular reader of the forum, you probably just don't get this.

My question is this: why do people on this forum get to decide if members of that forum should be insulted or not? Why not just enjoy the post? Really no need to keep on and on about how the other forum members are so sensitive about it.

It would be like a non-regular coming here and posting a hilarious dig (that they probably copied/pasted from somewhere) about various home decorating styles. It could be really funny, but it might smack a bit too much of making fun of what people like/enjoy on this particular forum. Then it might get re-posted on another forum, much to the amusement of folks there who find it hilarous and who think posters on the HD forum are just overly sensitive.

I don't agree that the thread should have been pulled, but I do get why some GJ posters took offense.

Going back to lurkdom, where I'm sure I should have stayed

kathy, after hearing Susiew/roses go on and on, I don't think I'll be participating over there, but I'll definitely be checking in to see the creativity of some of the posters. She doesn't sound much like someone with a sense of humor. I like to joke a lot and I don't think she'd take too kindly to my brand of Southern humor.

Fussy chicken, thanks so much for that editorial of things. It would be nice to hear from members other than just when they want to chime in to set us straight on certain matters and let us know what things we are doing wrong. LOL

Not to change the subject but.... I find it a bit unnerving when people lurk and never come to lend a hand or give support or pay a compliment, but rather sit in wait for a contraversy so they can swoop down to give their expert opinion and let the regular posters, who actually come here to discuss decorating, their pets and have some fun, how very bad they have been. I find it creepy knowing so many people are out there just waiting for me or someone else to say the wrong thing (in their opinion) so they can jump in and set everything right.

I think fussy chicken is exactly right. I remember when someone did post "decorating digs" on this forum and it got many members upset. I thought the post was funny. I actually thought it sounded like a stand-up comedy act. (The poster was a relatively new member.)

FC shared a perspective from her involvement on the forum that prompted this whole thread and her point is valid whether she's been posting recently or not. I will live to regret this but the door has been opened to the dark side and I'm walking through. This is a public forum. It's not a private group with rules about posting to maintain membership, but if that was the case, I'd be outa here in a nanosecond. We have no idea who is 'out there' posting only occasionally (or not at all), or for what reasons, but it's their business. I had read this thread but didn't post till now - do I get my hands slapped for that? KK is right and I remember that decorating digs thread - it did get some rank and file riled up.

It's a full moon people - be careful!!

I think I probably make as many 'decorating mistakes' as any, probably more than some. Well, probably more than most. But I don't mind laughing at the mistakes I make. I'd love to see the 'decorating digs' thread if someone can dredge it up.

Hey you all. I'm coming out of lurkdom to tell you this.

After reading that hilarious post, I decided to look up the name on the web. I found many articles written by a Viki Reed with the same kind of humor. This gal is such a hoot!

Go have a look. She's hysterical!

I think it was on the funny side.

I am so guilty of the apparent yard no-no's

#5- How can you not love the sound of chimes?

#6- yep, wiped Target out of clearance Christmas lights- planes will probably mistake me next year for a landing strip.

#14- the kids love to plant these and just to jazz it up we planted 12ft jumbos and 4ft mixed colored...it gives them something to play in- we don't have the $12,000 redwood play gym at our McMansion :)

#15- Just put out 15 hostas- putting out another 15 this week. Coral Bells- yep lowes had them marked down to $1.50 and I bought 10 of them.

#16- Gnomes. Need I say more. Not too many but they do lurk in planters and beds.

So about the tire thing- it is very common here in the south. So many farms what to do with the old tires? Someone in the junking forum once posted about turning old tires into the flower planters, actually shaping them like petals. They were pretty cute but DH said that was taking it too far.

lana 1 I searched but can't find anything. Can you post a link? Thanks

grooomingal, I use to have some old tires planted in the back yard of a rental many years ago. They were there so I put them to good use. Nothing wrong with recycling, especially today with all the waste ending up in landfills polluting our world.

Brutuses, below are a few of the ones I've already read. There are plenty more. Just google "Viki Reed". On thewax.com website's, there is a listing near the top for "Contributors", click that and go the Archives, where she has other articles. Some of her articles seem serious with just a touch of humor, as if she just can't help herself. I've sat here and laughed till I had tears rolling down my face. I really don't know if it's the same person that wrote the above garden post, but she "sounds" the same to me.

This first one you'll need to scroll down just a little to the one titled "Smiles, Everyone!, Smiles!

http://www.subbrilliant.com/9904subarc.html

http://www.thewax.com/3-11/plan.html

http://www.thewax.com/3-5/wwbm.html

http://www.angelfire.com/hi/braincandy4u/retarded.cat.html

http://www.thewax.com/3-7/burn.html

http://www.disinfo.com/archive/pages/article/id924/pg1/index.html

http://www.thewax.com/3-3/figh.html

http://www.disinfo.com/archive/pages/article/id1680/pg1/index.html

LP

I love the Garden junk forum---a TON of very talented and creative people over there.

And those garden tire planters- my mom had one of those when I was growing up and now I wonder what ever happened to it. I remember always painting it white and from my memory, it was beautiful but maybe that was with flowers haha!

I admit I started to read the post everyone said was so hilarious but I really did not think it was funny. I wasn't offended, I just did not find the humor I guess. Maybe I quit too soon, but when people use sarcasm to make fun of someone (who obviously was not laughing from the description of the replies posted by GW junkers)it annoys me.

And as far as those who lurk or only occasionally post, gotta start somewhere I guess. I seldom post myself, but then again I only visit here a couple of times per month. I do think and appreciate so much the warm, friendly tone this forum has taken...I think it used to be less so in years prior.

Garden junkers: keep up the good work! I for one love seeing the pictures and hearing the ideas =)

Stacey =)

thanks Lana

lana, I stumbled on your #6 link, the one that has 924 in it, it's a hoot......

I hope Viki Reed comes and spoofs the Decorating forum,
are we ready for it ? lol.......

You are right Brutus. Your humor is probably too subtle for us Junkers. It took me a full 24 hours or more to realize that you were being ironic in your last. :)
kathy

I lurk here, a lot. I don't usually have much to say, although I do enjoy your posts. I posted on GJ for a long time, but that was a long time ago. Things evolve, a bunch of new ones join up, and the forum changes. It is the way it is supposed to be, I think.

I am coming out of lurkdom to tell you that I do have some of those tires in my garden. They are painted all sorts of garish colors, and I actually grow vegetables in them. My DH cut them for me, and spent time turning them inside-out for me, and I am not going to hurt his feelings now by not using them. Besides, we have the most unbelievable black gumbo soil here. None of this nice sandy loam for us. God gave us soil that has absolutely no air in it, slick as boiled okra when it is wet, adobe when it is dried.

So, we grow in raised beds, and these cute little beds are perfect. Fill them with good topsoil, good compost, and we can grow anything. A tire will grow 2 or 3 nice tomato plants, a couple of peppers, a package of lettuce seeds, or beets, or carrots, or maybe an eggplant or a couple of zuchini plants. I can weedeat the pathways to keep them neat. The tires do hold up very well to the punishment of the weed whacker, and they will last longer than all of us will.

I guess I could paint them all green so they wouldn't stand out so much, but it's just a vegetable garden. And my grandkids love them. They each have a little salad garden in their own tire! LOL

Janie

Janie, your "tire bed" sounds adorable! Then again, I'm a sucker for anything bright, bold, vibrant - ok, even garish! Things like that just make me feel happy, and I love the fact that you've repurposed/recycled something that might have otherwise just gone to the landfill. Good job! :-)

Janie, I loved reading your post. Gardening is not my thing, but I wish it was. If I had a garden, I'd want one like that. Your garden sounds amazing.

I am the guilty poster of the garden junk posting. I just want to clarify one thing again. I am (or at least am more so in planting and prep season) a regular poster on gardenweb. Just not any particular forum. MOre than any I find myself in the Atlantic East Coast New Jersey forums because that's where I live. But I constantly ask advice on everything from propogation, groundhogs, plant identification and more. This year my yard is trashed from hurricane sandy and i still have huge pieces of trees everywhere and peony eyes coming up under 7 inches of dead leaves and twigs. I wrote from the heart , tongue in cheek, am not a troll and I am so moved and happy to hear so many people riffing on the post and even the haters who need to find something negative about the posting. Promise, there was no ulterior motive-just had something to say on the subject.