How do you cope with major doubt?? You have done it...this is the place! Next evening you will have your answer from the one place that understands.

You just have to move on and trust that each decision is the right one. For us, we kept the samples of each item (the cabinets, countertops, floor, backsplash) with us all the time. The hardest decision was the cabinets because they take so long to arrive.

We're now in the middle of the plumbing phase, and I'm still debating if I did everything right. The good news is at a certain point I finally decided I couldn't review each decision another time -- I was driving myself nuts.

Anyway, be happy with the decision you've already made and focus on all of the others yet to be made. Try not to look back. I'm sure you've done a great job. (And then go have a glass of wine!)

You need Bee's wine glass that holds a whole bottle! ;).

Can you post a pic of your cabs and counter choices?

About a year ago, a member posted her 10 commandments of a kitchen remodel. Some of it was hilarious, but one of her commandments has always stuck with me. "Never go back and revisit a decision already made." Once you've decided on a faucet that you love, for example, don't spend a dozen hours in the wee hours of the morning looking at faucets on the Internet wondering if there is one out there that you will love more. You fell in love with the faucet for a reason so go with your gut and spend those extra hours researching the next item on which you must decide. Not that I've ever broken that commandment or anything........;)

I think for me it really was just a leap of faith. The faith in myself that I had done my homework - looked at upteen magazines and internet pictures, discarding that photo and then this one until a theme started to occur. A theme of colours and styles that I liked. Which ones did I stare at and drool over, which did I want to touch. And then looking at the real thing in my space with the light that I had, could I imagine myself opening that drawer, what did i want to see when I came into my kitchen - light or dark, painted or stained.
When I went to the granite yards which granite did i keep going back to (unfortunately the granite that i LOVED I couldn't afford to put into my kitchen but I could afford a small piece for my bathroom - I still LOVE it), which was I drawn to - busy or quiet.
I still had doubts as to how it would look when all was done but I didn't doubt the decisions that I had made. By that I mean, was it going to give me the quiet, calm look that I wanted given the products that I had chosen.
It is hard, of that there is no doubt. Did I question my choices when all was done - yes, but I question my decisions less and less because the function of the kitchen is remarkable and the beauty of it is undeniable. At least for me and that's what is all about.
My ramble is finished. It's hard to explain.
P.S. You can always post pics and we'll tell you how it looks.

I think it can be useful to pull the major components together before you pull the trigger. With my Mom's we sorted and sourced all the major elements then ordered. Things might evolve but like a recipe your making substitutions at that point not starting from scratch. As I plan\save for my own I have to confess I couldn't shut out the voices until I decided on a colour that I really wanted. The colour and where I could afford to put it dictated the rest (so far).

Look at kitchens you like and then look how they are colour blocked (do the counters blend with the cabinets or contrast, does the back splash match the walls or the counter). Hopefully you will find a pattern.
This can keep you out of trouble and away from tempting things that in isolation look great but don't serve your overall vision.

Some folks can do it a piece at a time and it turns out great - I can do that for a living room but not a kitchen.

I love Florantha's thoughts! Ditto!

Seeing other nice kitchens in the cabinet color you chose helps. Don't order anything else for which color matching is important until you are sure your cabinet order is in a no-return state.

I don't think I have any artistic cell in me, but my DH is leaving the decisions to me, so I have the major doubt from time to time. There are abundant gorgeous white kitchens around; otherwise, many kitchens are in darker color -- very classy. But we don't want either. We have a galley kitchen and we want warm and bright, so we are going with honey/wheat color. I got the impression that it's easy to get that "washed out" look with the color. I'm trying to pretend to be artistic to prevent that from happening by adding some black accent, but oh yeah, I do have doubt from time to time.

When I get in that self-doubting funk, my DH always tells me, "whatever it comes out to be, it'll be much nicer than the kitchen we have now." That helps.

I would be surprised if there were any readers here who said they did not have doubts and second thoughts about their choices. I would bet that most of the people people who feel "sure" are either those who have not given it a lot of thought, have not looked at the many choices, or who have abdicated and allowed some "credentialed" professional to make the choices for them.

Of course there are a few people who are just sublimely confident and know exactly what their kitchen should look like. Not sure that these are the people who wind up with the most lovely kitchens . . . .

We have all been there. And, sometimes, things don't look quite like you thought they would, once they are in your space. But, as stated above, there are so many choices and ways to get around things. Many posters have mentioned that it took a week to get used to and love their kitchen. Others have been lucky from the start.
If you did not order yet, post the cabinets and the counter choices. You will get lots of good advise.
Also if you look at the FKB you will see similarities in how people seem to choose which granite with what color cabinet. We did the granite after the cabinets were installed. Is there a reason why you feel you need to order the counter at the same time as the cabinets?

I think if you have major doubt, you should not go forward. I think if you have minor doubts, that is perfectly normal.

Wow, thanks for all the replies!! They are very much appreciated!! Just to explain a little more, we picked the cabinet stain (light cherry) because our kitchen is smallish and we don't have a ton of natural light. So we were both concerned dark cabinets would be too dark.

The countertop is sort of dark though, cinnamon spice zodiaq. I totally love the countertop, but I am not sure if it really goes with the cabinets (Diamond Reflections Jamestown light Cherry), or if it is going to look bland. I think what also threw me off is that yesterday, we took pics of everything. But the pics look completely washed out, nothing like everything looks in person. So I can't even post pics in this thread cause the cabinet and countertop colors look way lighter - and completely different - in the pics than in person.

Hubby is getting fed up with my second-guessing and says what I need is a show room with everything coordinated already and then just point at the kitchen I want, and order. I think he is right, ha.

Oh, also forgot to mention, the cabinets are a done deal, but we have not ordered the countertops yet. We still have 3 - 4 weeks until the cabinets are installed and they measure for the countertops to make our our mind re. countertop color. I really do love the cinnamon spice though, and hub does too. He really wants those and is not too happy about my second-guessing the color.

If you have doubts, listen to your 'little voice' and find out what's bugging you.

From what you've written, I would say you need to make sure you have a REALLY good lighting plan. If you like the dark, warm finishes...go for it! But, if you're concerned they'll look too dark, make sure you get some help (maybe here?) designing your lighting plan.

It will be worth it, so you enjoy your beautiful new kitchen...and it feels warm and inviting...not dim and depressing! Now, go order the finishes you love and look at some wonderful under cabinet, pendant, can, overhead....etc. lighting! :)

Unless something changes my mind, I'm planning on shopping for my countertop after my cabinets have been installed. At this point, even though I can borrow a sample door and go put it side by side with countertops, I'm afraid I don't have good enough visual imagination to make a right call. Can you wait on your countertop purchase if you are so unsure?

What helped me to get through the process was to take the decisions one at a time. There are so many choices to make in a kitchen remodel. Each one builds on the next, but once a decision is made, it's helpful to think of that decision as "done" so that you can focus on the next choice. Of course, sometimes our choices need to be reconsidered, either due to our own change of heart or due to an unanticipated issue that arises.

I had a major case of second-guessing hit me just as my choices were actually starting to be implemented. It's frightening because so much money is linked to many of the components of our kitchen design. It's not the same as buying a blouse in one color, deciding you should have selected the other color, and going back to the store to return it. Once things actually are installed in your home, you can't always easily undo your choice. And until things are installed, it's sometimes difficult to envision exactly how they will look. That's what makes this process so maddening.

Don't let the appearance of your washed-out photos influence your choices. It's very difficult to get an accurate representation of tiles, countertops, and cabinets in a photo. Make your choices from the samples viewed in real-life and in your own space. From that, pick what you like and move on to the next exciting choice!

Lavender, we are going to re-do lighting too, add under-cabinet lighting, as well as replace ceiling lights. Plus, we are not going to replace the cabinets above the kitchen island (which separates the kitchen from the dining room) and instead have 3 Pendant lights installed in the soffit. Can't go for the dark cabinet finish cause the cabinets are a done deal (ordered). But I would really love the cinnamon spice countertops which we plan to run up to the edge of the cabinets. So lighting will definitely help with that.

Mudworm, the countertops won't be ordered until the cabs have been installed, but we would really like to go with the cinnamon spice, if possible. It's such a rich, pretty color. I looked at the other zodiaq colors and that was definitely my favorite. But of course, none of the other colors were displayed as full countertops at the store, so it was really difficult to judge a color from just a few tiny samples. I wish there was a way to look at all of them in full size in person.

Dreamweaver, that is exactly what is frightening, all that money and the knowledge that we are stuck with our choices even if we don't like the final result. And you also hit the nail on the head re. the difficulty envisioning how everything will look in a particular kitchen space. And like I mentioned above, even taking the samples home doesn't help much because the countertop samples are so tiny, it is almost impossible to envision how it will look full-size.

With the cabinets being a done deal, don't second guess yourself on those. I would wait for the cabinets to be installed before deciding on the counter color. When color are close it is harder to know for sure. Don't let the company push you. There are many quartz companies out there and one may have a color that you may decide you like better, unless you are stuck with having to use the cabinet people for some reason. I looked at as many showrooms that sold quartz as I could before my decision.
There are so many variations of flooring colors I can't imagine that being a problem...so just take a deep breath. Once the cabs are up and you decide on the counter, you'll know if you need to lighten up the floor or go darker. Some contrast is good, you don't want to too much of the same color overload, that can be tiring down the line.

I think we all make these decisions and have a few of those sleepless nights wondering if it will all come together, the same way our brain sees it. I did at least!

Nancy

Nancy, definitely going to wait to decide on the countertop until the cabs are in. But we do have to pick the tile color this week because the floor has to be replaced prior to having the new cabinets installed. The old cabinets were custom and the floor was tiled around them. The new cabs are different sizes than the old, so we would have to patch tile around them which would look awful.

The good news about the floor is that we were afraid it was laid over linoleum because there is a piece of linoleum below the dishwasher area which wasn't tiled. But hub chiseled some tile away this weekend (which re-enforced his decision to pay someone to remove all of it, ha) and there is just concrete underneath. We were concerned about asbestos in linoleum and now, thankfully, that is not an issue. Still have to have the popcorn tested though. :o)

petra, we are building a house right now and one thing I have learned through this process is to trust the doubts you are having. I have found that when things are truly "right", and what I deep down want, i haven't had any doubts. When I let my husband talk me into something that wasn't quite what I wanted, or hastened my decision despite some nagging misgiving, it was wrong.

If you are able to catch your cabinet order in time, you may be able to hold it up until you are very sure. You will be living with this for a long time and should not let a kitchen designer or anyone else push you.

I'll give you an example of something I knew wasn't right, but let others talk me into it. My kitchen window. It is 8 feet long and will be just above the backsplash to allow for electrical outlets to be placed. (Otherwise I would have gone down to the counter with the window). I was talked into double hungs (3 of them in a bank of windows) despite the fact I was concerned about the center of the window cutting into my view outside. It was not a cheap window.

Well, the window came and was installed. I walked in the house that I am loving each and every day and started crying. I HATED the window. The center of the windows cut my view exactly at eye level.

I had originally wanted a slightly larger fixed center pane with two casement windows on either side (a triple casement) but had been talked out of it due to safety concerns of the window opening into the porch a bit. My gut knawed at me about the double hungs, but we ordered them anyway.

My new kitchen window arives this week. I will put a wooden barrel by the window with flowers on it so no one walks into the window. I am at peace.

Mine was "only" a $2,000 mistake. Kitchen cabinets cost a great deal more.

Sandy

Sandy, thanks for the cautionary tale. I am so glad you got the windows you wanted after all. I can't undo the cabinets, but I do like them best out of all the ones we looked at.

But I AM going to make darn sure the countertops we pick DO go with the cabinets, even if it takes a while to pick a different color and holds things up. I think right now, the main problem is that I like everything separately, but I am not sure if all of it goes well together. But that's okay because we are only locked into the cabinets and everything else can still be changed.

I made an appointment at a local tile shop for tomorrow afternoon. They said they are happy to work with samples and try to find something complementary. I think once we find the right tile to look great with the cabinets, I will feel better as the floor is going in first. And at that point, it will be easier (I hope ;o) to pick out a countertop which will look good with everything else.

take your time, there is no rush. i had to take a break sometimes. i had to learn to not let outside forces (cabinetmakers, GC's) pressure me to make decisions or sign on the line before i was ready. it is hard as the economy is not good so folks are really pushing for work. take your time, do it on your schedule. live with your samples and percolate until it feels right or make necessary changes.

petra, I am glad you are slowing down with the counter and backsplash. One poster mentioned that each decision builds on the next and I think that is true for most.However, I had difficulty with the backsplash and in hind sight, I would have picked a different counter. Like you, my DH doesn't like shopping and went along with the granite guys when they said " Everything goes with white cabinets!" So not true. Things worked out but it took longer than it should have with much aggravation thrown in along the way.
Really take a good look at the FKB and get ideas for how you want your kitchen to look.
My advise to you is, as you pick your counter, think to the next step of the backsplash. Each element will influence the other.

Babushka, that is good advice. We went back re. the countertop and talked to a different design guy who said point blank he thought our countertop choice is way too dark with the cabinets and a small kitchen. I think that's exactly what I needed to hear because I realized that is what's been worrying me. So, we are going to go with something lighter and I feel much better about the remodel. I still love the cinnamon spice, but it's just not going to work for us.

We had a really great experience at the tile store today, they weren't pushy at all and told us to take our time and come back and look as much as we want. We actually found some tiles (Rago Boardwalk) we both really like and which go with the cabinets and wall color I had in mind and, if we decide on a lighter countertop, they'll go with that as well.

Ellendi, the quartz will be run all the way up to under the cabinets which is great because I think having to pick a backsplash on top of everything else would do me in. :o) I just don't know how people do this professionally, it would make my head explode.

Petra, sounds like holding off on the counter is one step towards solving a problem and putting your mind to rest. If the counter was the problem (dark), then don't do it! I didn't choose my counter until the cabinets were in. I think you get a much better visual of your space and what will look best after the cabs are in.
Good luck!

Joan, I totally agree. It will really help to have the cabinets installed before picking a countertop color. But I do wish they had larger countertop samples, it is so hard to choose a color which is not on display in one of the model kitchens just based on a tiny sample.

hi petra...

just wanted to say how glad i am you figured out what was worrying you and are on your way to making a better choice now.

also, see if you can get the store to loan you out a 12"x12" sample of your countertop. zodiaq and some of the other quartz companies will sell you them online, usually about $50, but once you make a "final" decision, it might be worth it in the long run.

good luck!

Hi ironcook, thanks!! I am glad too, it was hard to pinpoint exactly where the unease came from, but once the countertop issue was addressed, everything felt better. The kitchen guy gave us the biggest sample he had, a 4 x 4 piece of a nice countertop color, also zodiaq, but Cappuccino. It is light, but not white, and has different color flecks in it. Still not as nice as a 12 x 12, but better than the tiny sample. Plus, they have a display with a full-size island done in Cappuccino at the store, which makes it easier to assess.

Ellendi -
I'm curious - with white cabinets what did you end up going with for the backsplash? What were people talking you into that you didn't like? I ask b/c I am going the white cabinet route and am processing the plethora of backsplash options.
Thanks.