Check out garden clubs and the cooperative extension in your area. IF you can't find someone that's already working with hypertufa maybe you can get someone interested. Billie

I'm in NW Indiana too. I might be interested... haven't been real into gardening for a few years and would like to get motivated again. Keep me posted... live near exit 1, I-94.

Linda; I'm so very sorry you were diagnosed. I know that no matter what I say, it will only help so much. You are the one that has to deal with this every day. The best tips I can give you are to go to Cancer Compass; there is a great message board. Since it sounds like you have 2 different types; you should post in 2 sections - one is brain - and depending on what type was found in the hip area, there is another section for that. I wish I'd found it sooner as there are different ways to treat what my hubby has (oral). See if your cancer center has the book Patient resources there is a lot of information there on where to get help - financially and for your type of cancers. Hopefully you will not be losing your health insurance like we just did. Also have your hubby do the family leave paperwork. From what I was told, some will get paid leave while others won't. I don't know what the difference was; we never got that far; we did not qualify for paid leave. Have they given you anything for pain? Look up Actiq pops - this was the best for pain when hubby has pain. You are able to control how much pain med you take so that you don't have to be loopy all day. Did they give you a notebook to keep track of your health info? I just scrolled up and see you posted today.. I missed it since I last read. I agree that things happen for a reason; or at least I think this is what you're saying. We had our house for sale in 2007; sold in 2008 - hubby fell off of his car carrier 10/07 & we almost did not move. We were going to give up so many times but the house sold; then the market crashed. We had hard times & at times wondered why we did move.. but on the bright side; had we not been here, he may not have had the treatment he did. At the link below, there is a booklet called 5 wishes; save it to your computer. You can download Cool PDF Viewer, open 5 wishes and you are able to print it. 5 wishes is written really well. We've filled them out just in case. If there is anything I can do, please send me an email. ~Hugs Here is a link that might be useful: 5 wishes

Carriboo, I too lost my husband through a traumatic and unexpected death. I am 39, and like you I know I have a lot of my life to live, but I am completely devastated by my husband's death. I too feel lost, empty and lonely. He is dead fifteen months now , and I can really identify with where you are presently at. I too felt noone could help me. All my friends and family seemed completely inadequate when it came to dealing with my emotions. If I was overwhelmed, they would want to quiten me with cups of tea or medication. I needed to express all the turmoil, but noone was capable of hearing me. I would cry alone night after night, and listen to Katie Melua. She became my best friend. How sad is that? I wailed as she sang "I cried for you", and all my tears just echoed back at me. After three months, I realised that my deep agony had to be heard and witnessed. My friends and family were not up to coping with my extreme pain, so I found myself a therapist. I had to try a few different forms of therapy before I eventually found the right person. He continues to hear and witness my extreme emotions. It is vital that you too find someone with whom you can openly express yourself. Carriboo, you cling to his friend for as long as you need to. He will let you know if he has had enough of you. I cling to my husband's brother. He clings to me. His friend is hurting too. Cling to him. Don't do all this alone. You have to let it out, or you will become obliterated by all of this. Just last night, my husband's football club called me to ask if I wanted to present a trophy in his memory. It felt like I was just told that he had died. My body went into extreme shock and I was screaming. I called my mum and wailed down the phone. I called a friend and she came to stay with me. I am now at the stage that if I have to let out my extreme agony, I refuse to do it alone. People, despite their discomfort, are just going to have to deal with me. I hope you get to this point too. My therapist told me that if I always curl up, and cry alone, then I am keeping my agony inward. Carriboo, we have to be seen and heard when we are at our worst. Friends and family just have to look at us in the depth of our agony. They cannot take the pain away, but at least they can sense our hell, and that is better than crying alone and receiving absolutely no response. Love from one broken soul to another.