Lellie, yours is a red rat snake, also. Very pretty! I really think these guys are beautiful, and they don't seem to be as common as the much larger yellow rat snake. (Maybe that's just my perception. I don't really have figures on this.) And I've been bitten by several snakes, but always when I tried to capture them. I learned I am NOT as fast as a yellow ratsnake, for sure, so I don't even try to catch those any more. I do fine with ringnecks, garter snakes and a couple of others, but I don't try for the rat snakes or black racers. They are fast and the black racers, especially, can be ornery when threatened. Wish I had a red rat snake here. I had one at my last house that would often curl up inside our grill, so I had to learned to check inside before lighting it. Marcia

Hello all, I lucked up on this site by trying to find answers to my situation. My spouse is cheating on me with his co-workers. He denies everything of course, but I've been able to gain access to his (our) bills that he hides from me. I discovered that he has been talking to several women, but one in particular that's going on know 1 year (she knows he is married). I found out that he has paid her phone bill by being noisy and discovered later that he has paid her phone bill a month earlier and the month after he and I discused it. I also found out that the two meet for breakfast, lunch and dinner frequently. My husband works midnight and I work days so he has the day to play. He works every night and volunteers for overtime, so basically we spend one night together maybe every two weeks. We have sex once a week, but he knows that I love sex and could have do it more then once a day. I also found out that he advertises online as a married man looking for a single women for a discret relationship. This sacred the hell out of me! When I try to talk about my feelings and hint to him about what I know he totally goes off and wants me to shut up. He refuses to go to a marriage counselor dispite me telling him that it hurts me that he wants female friends (the secret ones). He tells me that he loves me and is in love with me and that there is no one else in his life and that he is just friends with the females. Is there any advise?

I am very sorry for your loss of Ernie and the grieving that it is causing both you and Jack. It's very possible that Jack has developed stress-induced cystitis which is causing his inappropriate eliminations. You should take him to the vet for a check-up. Also, continue to spend lots of extra time with him, comforting him, trying to help him over his grief. This is exactly why I always make sure my other animals can acknowledge the body after one of them passes. I have found that it reduces or eliminates grieving and stress in the other animals as long as they can see and smell the body. Otherwise, they have no concept of why their companion simply "disappeared" and never came back, and that can be extremely stressful and frightening for them. I try to have my animals euthanized at home, but if that is not possible, I always bring the body home and lay it on a dog bed in the livingroom overnight so that the other animals can acknowledge the passing. It's amazing how readily they can accept death as long as they know that's what has happened. Laurie

I agree with jenkins that CPS should be called, if they haven't already. The mother is an enabler of his behavior and if she continues to believe nothing is wrong, the boy will never get the help he needs. I'd get a good attorney and petition the court for supervised visits between the mother & boy and NOT stop fighting for them until the court appoints supervised visits in a neutral place by a neutral party. I would like to know though, why you are still considering marrying this man if you feel nothing but anger and disgust towards the child. Clearly, this situation will make anyone normal human being wince and feel what you have because it's abnormal and morally incorrect. But do you really think that marrying his dad will make those feelings go away? The boy isn't going to go away either just because you marry his dad. If you really have been reading posts on this board, then you probably know by now that most people who enter marriages on not the best of terms, such as yours, do not get any better. Most often, they get worse. And you already have a biological mother in denial who refuses to believe that her child has the potential of causing serious harm to another human being then exposes him to more situations that will encourage improper behavior. Are you really willing to deal with this day in and day out? Also, you never mentioned if you and his father would want children of your own when or if you marry. Could you honestly expose your child to this boy knowing that he may try to cause harm to that baby?