That is such a shame, so sorry for your loss there Dave. Quite a few factors have to be taken into consideration when rating a rose for cold hardiness and also disease resistance, is it on its own roots, or grafted? How old is the plant? Did you have extremely cold temps with snow or without snow? Was it exposed to alot of rain and/or wind? How deep was it planted? Did you prune it last year or the year before? And these are just a few ??'s that you have to ask yourself, and not just you Dave but everyone that grows roses. Now for disease resistance..... What zone do you live in? What state do you live in? What is your weather like in the summer...do you get high humidity or low? Do you get alot of rain....and would that be in the morning or at night? How old is the plant? Is it planted near a wall or fence? Does it have good air circulation around it? Are you feeding it regularly and watering it this much but not too much? What kind of soil do you have....have you had it tested? Is it on its own roots or grafted? Now I am sure there are more questions that anyone can add to these that I've posted. But the bottom line is that these questions should be taken into consideration by rose producers and hybridizers before they put them out on the market and in magazines with fancy pictures and "false promise" advertising. Or you could grow your own.....

Wow, you all are so kind and welcoming! Thanks! Let's see, to address a few comments: Yes,it's flat...but not as flat as Nebraska! (as we like to say) Actually, I live not far from the Loess Hills, which can give the lower parts of the Ozarks a run for their money. Lucy is my special baby cat. I have 7 others (people keep dumping strays on us) but Lucy knows she's Top Cat. The monarchs in the photo are congregating on a silver maple. They do that every year prior to migration, now, and it's tremendously exciting. That photo just shows a small portion of the sometimes HUNDREDS that flutter down and settle for the night... Yes, there *are* days when it seems like Heaven...but then there are days like now--it's 5 below and the wind is howling--and those days when it's 105 and you can fry eggs on the sidewalk....or those days when the humidity is SO thick it literally makes Hot Fog...or those days (since we live on the Buffalo Ridge wind plane, that stretches all the way up to Canada) when the wind blows so much it peels the shingles off the roof and tosses over my heavy teak bench. We didn't realize it was SO windy when we bought the house (the sellers having been blessed with three windless days, to sucker us in ;-) but WOW did we learn about it next spring. Our arbor blew away! It just howled for days and days, and we have the Big Blow every spring and fall, like clockwork. I'm not a lightweight and it literally knocks me over when I'm on my knees trying to plant or weed. The old farmer down the road just laughed when I expressed surprise at the wind: "Wahhhlll, why do ya think all those windmills are around here?" he chuckled. Duh. I didn't notice, right away, that all the power lines on my street are buried underground, too. Anyway, it made for a lot of interesting challenges the first year. My husband had to go around and sink stakes in the ground to keep the benches and arbors from toppling....I have to stake ALL the delphiniums asap--no exceptions....and I've watched all my young apple, pear, and peach trees grow on the diagnonal! They all lean north! Well, enough rambling. I'm looking forward to hearing your spring tales from those of you who live in warmer climes. I can't do much till April, myself.

Hi Cup, I too wish I had stumbled upon your question sooner. This is a long reply! My daughter is anorexic. She is 29 years old and told us of her condition a year and a half ago, just weeks before her wedding. I cannot tell you how shocked I was. And we are very close. She kept it from us, as well as her fiance, for well over a year before finally coming to grips with her problem. One poster here was so correct: Watch for excuses for not eating: "I already ate." "I will grab something out." It is heartbreaking to see your beloved child lie to you, but you have to realize, as another poster mentioned, that when someone is in the depths of an ED, "the voice" takes over. "The voice", AKA "Ed", as he is referred in the eating disorder world, is in control. He will convince your daughter that she will only be happy if she listens to him. Everyone else out there - parents, friends, boyfriends - are out to make her FAT. So here's my two cents, for what it's worth. 1. Good for you for getting help now. My daughter admits she had unnatural issues with food going back to high school. (obsessed about calories in everything). She is very petite so when she only ordered an appetizer for her dinner, we thought it was because she had a small appetite. In fact, ED was telling her she didn't deserve the dinner portion. She hid it from us, and really from herself, for so long. By the time she sought professional help, she really had been dealing with food issues for ten years. 2. See if there is an Eating Disorders Center in your area. My daughter started there. Five minutes into her interview, she was told "You are anorexic." All she had to do was describe what she ate, and why, and that was enough. The blood work just confirmed it. They can also point you in the right direction for care. It is so important that you seek professionals who specialize in eating disorders. Many physicians are still very much in the dark. 3. My daughter had found that a support team of three is essential: an MD to do lab work every few weeks, a nutritionist to keep her on a food plan, and a therapist to help her work through her issues with food. My daughter also went on medication for anxiety. This has helped her sleep, but does not make the ED go away. 4. Read "Life Without Ed" by Jenni Schaefer. It reveals just how victims of EDs think. It is a real eye-opener. Your daughter should read it too, as I am sure she will much to identify with. And it is remarkably uplifting. This is the only book my daughter's nutritionist suggest she read. Be careful as many books out there on EDs can be rather dismal and dark. 5. Does your daughter spend much time on the internet? See if you can check the history of websites visited over the past couple of weeks. There are many of what they call "Pro-Ana" sites out there, where young women support each other in their efforts to starve themselves. They praise each other for going all day on an apple, offer suggestions on how to sneak in exercise (i.e. "stand when you can, because standing burns more calories than sitting"), and how to purge after eating ("Throw up while taking a shower.") It's pretty shocking. 6. Here's the best website out there for parents of children with EDs: www.somethingfishy.org. There is a wealth of information and support there. 7. Also be prepared that without intervention, your daughter will most likely undergo some personality changes, which can be painful to witness. Without help, she will be happiest (so she thinks) in her own little world. She will find excuses for not hanging out with her friends. The loving cheerful daughter you always knew will often be irritable, inpatient, and sometimes downright rude. (after all, she's hungry) I know it is hard to believe this could happen, but truly the description of your daughter, and your relationship with her, could have been written by me two years ago. 8. Remain hopeful and trusting that your daughter wants help, but always keep an eye out for signs indicating otherwise. Daughters, being the people pleasers that they are, will often tell you what you want to hear. It makes you happy and of course, gets you off their back. When she begins to eat more, make sure that she is not heading for the bathroom a few minutes later. Or saying that she is going to go out for a "little walk". I hope I haven't come across as too blunt or too insensitive. I only wish I could turn back the clock to be where you are today. You are so fortunate to have your daughter at home still. If only we had a clue back then. But now it is my daughter deciding what level of care she needs and what she wants to share with us. Her progress, or lack of it, is her own business. And so what about my daughter? About a year ago, she took a leave of absence from work to enter a day treatment program for several weeks. (She refused residential care.) Unfortunately, as soon as she was on her own, she started falling back into old habits, and wound up taking another leave of absense to do the whole thing all over again (think rehab). Now she does seem determined more than ever to make a full recovery. She is fortunate to be surrounded by a loving supportive husband, close caring brother and friends, and of course, parents who love her to pieces. But sadly, we cannot make her better. She has to do it herself. I miss her terribly. It's like we lost a piece of her when this insidious thing took over. She is taking baby steps toward recovery, and I too am taking baby steps to recover the relationship I treasured for 27 years. Good luck to you, and please keep us posted. Deb

For your shoes I would suggest getting something with a kitten heel instead of flats. Kitten heels are only 1 or 1 1/2 inches and have a scuptured elegant look to the heel. They should be fairly comfortable for all evening wear, no worse than wearing 1 1/2 wide heeled shoes. Flats do not give a woman a graceful walk but more of a 'waddle'. Wearing flats to a formal event may make one feel "dumpy" while walking. Go with a more pointed toe for a dressier looking shoe, rather than a rounded bump toe shoe which looks more casual. Nice black 1" kitten heel pumps in black velvet: http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/6972303.html I Googled *kitten heels* and found tons of nice styles with 1 or 1 1/4 inch heels in all prices ranges: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0009K8ACQ/nextag-apparel0c-20/ref=nosim Since your skirt is going to be french blue satin, you can get satin shoes dyed to match at any bridal shop. They will have a selection of both heels, flats and kitten heels to chose from. Avoid getting the Mary Jane style flats or heels, as the look is too 'adolescent'. A matte finish top and a shiney skirt is going to attract attention to your hips and not every woman can look good in a shiney skirt, expecially if the skirt is a lighter color than the top. Go with and all over color if you can. One color from head to toe will make you look taller and leaner. What was wrong with the light colored top that is shown with the light colored skirt? It looks like it matches perfectly. If you need long sleeves maybe a black taffeta bolero jacket that exposes most of the embroidered top and covers the arms? Don't forget to pay atttention to your hosiery. Around the holidays you can find nude hose with a shimmer sheer look. Small details like this will look more elegant. Don't wear black hose with a long skirt. Black hose should only be worn with short skirts. And do not wear closed toe hosiery with open toe sandels. Get the open toe hosiery. As far as make-up if you do chose to go to have it done at a salon counter have it done once before hand to make sure you and the cosmetologist are on the same wavelength or at least talk to them ahead of time so that you both know what look you want. If you are going to get your hair done at a salon for the event, have the stylist put in a sparkley hair accessory rather than wear the rhinestone pin attached to the sweater. Maybe the sweater pin can be converted to a hair accessory or you can find one at the department stores? The stylist will know how to anchor a hair pin or barrett so that it stays put.