Ditto here too... Tired of it all. Hubby & I are newly retired. I was thinking of having a cleaning person at least once a month. I don't know where to being. I was thinking about an agency because they are bonded and insured. Raven,how did you go about finding your help?

Strike! Seriously, it's time to have a chat with him. He 's home now....he needs to participate in the household chores. My parents worked it out so that Dad did all of the vacuuming, grocery shopping, and a fair amount of cooking. They also went out for meals more often. She had more time to do things that she wanted to do and felt a whole lot better about the division of labor.

Of course, he still did all of the yard work, gardening, repairing, house painting, window washing, snow shoveling, etc. He was never a person to be idle for very long.

I hope that you can have that chat with him before too much more resentment builds up. He is probably clueless about how you feel.

DH does most of the day to day stuff. I just can't manage 4 flights of stairs any longer. One wash load is up and down three flights of stairs at least 3 or 4 times. I am unable to get down on the floor to scrub three toilets and tubs. (Well, I could get down there, but wouldn't get back up). I have a gal that comes in every couple of months and does the deep cleaning stuff. I'm very fortunate.

I never liked it, and was never very good at it. There is always something more interesting to do. As a widow, my role model is Emilie, a dear friend I met 40 years ago, when I was 30 and she was 82. She said at some point she gave up doing things she disliked, except for the absolutely necessary. Housework did not fit into that category.

Emilie had several daughters-in-law who came over and "mucked out" (her term) occasionally. I wouldn't want that, but I clean sporadically . . . usually when I notice it's needed. My standards have never been very high. LOL

Cmama, presumably your DH spends something on golfing, whether it's greens fees or a bag of clubs, so it would be reasonable to consider paying for some household help for you. If that isn't feasible, it may be time for him to share in the work.

I think there's an age/generational component to this discussion.

If both members of a couple work, or if both don't, today's view is that the housework should be divided evenly. Just like parenting duties, and why a working parent should take the majority of kid stuff on weekends if there's a stay at home parent handling Mon-Fri. There's no gender component to housework.

Old dogs can learn new tricks, but situations many describe shouldn't have happened in the first place. Old dogs whose disabilities or inability to adapt are obstacles to dealing with daily life get euthanized.

yes I write my shopping lists in the dust on everything!! lol....

Susan, I plant flowers in my dust. Living in Florida, one can't possibly have a clean house, what with all the sand and dust, so I straighten every day, vacuum a couple of times a week, scrub the floors once a week and call it 'done'. Dusting gets done whenever I'm stuck in the house for some reason, and if someone doesn't like how I do it, they can do it themselves!!

I am washing baseboards, a few at a time - they'll get done when they get done.

I have gotten mine either from a friend of a friend etc or someone that came by and left a flyer in my mail box. I do interviews and I do check references. I prefer not using a service. Having hired individuals that had previously worked for many of the services I preferred not to contribute to them, but to the individual instead.
I like to have someone that lives near by and has a flexible schedule, I usually am always flexible with my schedule too.

I start out with a list of what I want done each time and what can be done randomly and not as often. They learn pretty quickly what I expect and I go over everything each time for a few times till I know they have it down. I also tell them what I will pay for what I want done and I am pretty generous never had a problem with that. I am extremely easy to get along with, my current gal says she wishes all her clients were like me.
I buy all the cleaning supplies because I choose what I want used in my home. I have a great Shark vacuum cleaner and my pantry is super well stocked with what ever she needs. She only has a rolling mop bucket with a wringer that she brings with her.

She also helps me with other stuff, if I need someone to go with me somewhere and help with my wheelchair etc she will do that. She takes me to vote, get my drivers license renewed, on some shopping excursions. I pay her accordingly.
She worked elder care for many years so she is great with being able to help me. I am the lucky one in this situation.

Hi C-mama,

Tell the ole bugger that if he wants to C-mama do anything but sit on her ass ...

... he'd better get his ass in gear and share some o' the housework!

o j

I hate, hate, hate it. I would rather weed a thousand flower beds than clean the house. It is just unending. Thank heavens I belong to book club and we meet frequently at my house which forces me to give the downstairs a thorough cleaning every so often.

The whole house is never clean at once. I give one room a good cleaning at a time. The kitchen is just never done and neither is my bedroom. The den is my "command center". I am surrounded by papers. Every day the mail is filled with useless junk. Sometimes I sort it over the recycling.

My house is so dusty, due to forced air heat, I think.

Anyway, I try to keep up because I don't like a dirty house, but I have to force myself every inch of the way. Bending is getting harder as I age, so that makes it worse. Glad to hear I have company.

I finally got a cleaning lady to come out once a month after my surgery, I got a left knee replacement two years ago, age 65. My husband had been telling me to go ahead for a long time but I thought it was wasteful...now I'm glad I did. She does the scrubbing of the bathrooms, kitchen, floors, otherwise I do vacuuming once in a while and daily keeping up with stuff....it was a good idea.

I always have the best of intentions - funny how that is. But I at least make sure that the very basics are done every day - such as doing the dishes, taking out the garbage, hanging things up etc. But since we have a double-coated dog it doesn't take long - say 5 minutes - for fur to be everywhere again even when I do vacuum.

raven - my husband has selective hearing also. When I really need to get his attention I just call the dog who gets him. I did this outside of a store and another woman who had been trying to get her husband to notice her as he stood there with their dog, did the same - it worked.

One suggestion looking for someone, is if you have a large medical center/college/assisted living check with them to see if some of the girls/guys working there might want to earn some extra money. I had a gal who is a nurses aid help me out and she was great and because she was a bit older than most and many of the people knew her I could trust her. She really was a big help when my hubby was so ill. She knew exactly what to do when he had some health issues.
Just a thought.

I get paid to do housework kinda work.... LOL, cook, clean serve food etc... by working in a school kitchen.

But I prefer to have a clean kitchen, and clean (without dust bunnies anyhow) floor, and my bed made.

Thus, those get done pretty regular.

My bathtub is my problem. When I get in, I don't wear my glasses, when I get out, still don't and then I shut my curtains... and it is invisible.. LOL, just realized this morning when I put my bath rug over the rim (I was wearing my glasses) that my bathtub is dirty. LOL, better clean it.

Moni

Like many others I am getting older and just don't "do" much anymore. DS lives with us, cooks and cleans, helps DH with garden etc. etc.. I hate seeing the dust that is missed, mop boards never done or windows not washed...but, MUST bite my tongue and be grateful that it is only the "little" things that I have to overlook. And when he is gone, I usually clean the stove, take care of the dribbles on the cupboards and finger prints on the doors. Life is just (usually) too short to make a big deal out of those things. Good too, that eye sight loses the ability to see well too.

While I was a SAHM I did *everything* inside and outside the house. DH would clean gutters, shovel snow if it fell on weekends, etc. He worked in the city. I did the work at home. We continued much the same way after our DS left home. DH mowed the lawn for a few years until we hired a lawn service.

When DH retired, he started to do more around the house. Now he cleans the toilets and will vacuum and even dust when I ask. (I have mild asthma and wonky hips, despite hip replacements.) He unloads the dishwasher at night. He makes our tea in the afternoons.

He helps me make the bed; folds laundry; walks the dog; runs errands; brings us DVD's and books from the library; takes care of the garbage and recycling; washes the easy windows a couple times a year; sets up the screened porch and puts it to bed in winter.

We have a garden service that will also clean gutters. We have a snow plow guy. I have hired a cleaning crew a couple of times, years apart -- and will be leaning on that more as we age. We hire a window washer for the small pane and tall windows.

We built our home to be as easy-peasy as possible. It's single level, 2900 sq ft, all hardwood flooring, with tile in 'wet' areas. Area rugs go out to be washed. My central vac makes floors a breeze, and I really only need to mop the back hall, breakfast room and kitchen often. Having a newer, very 'tight' house with Aprilaire filters on the furnace helps. We also have enough *space* and storage to keep down the clutter.

I was fortunate that my DH 'came with' neat habits -- and expectations of a clean and uncluttered home. If he has to help keep the house, he's happy to do so -- although I had to teach him because he grew up with maids. I've given up thinking he will ever *cook* though! And after fifty years, I am thoroughly tired of making dinners. OTOH, he will eat anything I make without complaint.

It's pretty much up to me. My DH does more than his share will other things, but I too am just tired of doing it.
DH never wanted us to have cleaning help because he doesn't like the idea of a stranger going through our things. But, I am slowly convincing that it's just taking it's toll on me. I like doing the house all at once but it is back breaking.

i try to keep clutter to a minimum. Since putting in my kitchen, actually it's been five years, I do do keep it clean at all times. But, the rest of the house it up for grabs.

I hate cleaning so I have had a cleaning lady for several years now. My first one retired so I had a two person team for about 10 years and suddenly they started to slack off, and after several warnings, I hired a new lady. So far, she is great. If the mood hits me, I will clean with her, like doing the windows or washing the knickknacks.

Kristina comes every two weeks and I just have to tidy up in between. It is worth every penny.

After my DH retired he would help me with the cleaning. He hated doing the yard work so we haired someone to do that. I finally told him that if he could have someone do his work that I felt we could have someone come in and clean the house. He didn't like that idea. I asked him if he was ready to do all the vacuuming, washing floors and cleaning bathrooms. He said no and decided that hiring a cleaning lady was a good idea. I found her through a friend and she was great. She got sick and couldn't do it any more but her daughters clean houses. So I now have her girls cleaning house.

So everybody is happy. I cook and DH cleans up the kitchen and does the dishes and takes care of the dishwasher. He also takes out the trash and folds his own clothes when I do the laundry. He and I do the grocery shopping together and he carries everything in and helps put it all away.

Life is good.

I have someone come in every two weeks. It's a better retired life when the heavy cleaning is done and I just have to deal with the day to day. Besides that some of the heavy cleaning I just can't do anymore. My house stays pretty clean all the time. Hubby does not do a lot unless I am sick or ask him, but then again he does all the outside work and maintenance.
Edited to add that yes, I am also tired of it! LOL

This post was edited by hellion on Fri, Apr 25, 14 at 6:50

I remember going to a retirement dinner after I retired and talking to one woman who told me that she told her husband after they retired that she wasn't doing anymore cooking and they ate their meals out. I bet she also had a house cleaner although we didn't talk about that.

I'm nearly 62, fortunately my health, back,knees, etc are still in good enough shape that I can handle most housework. But outside I need help. I don't have the strength or knowledge how to do heavy work, I have hired help to do lawn cutting,and spring and fall cleanups. And I've had to hire a company to fix my fences. We had a hard winter, one wooden fence collapsed and our plastic gate cracked in two. All this costs money...

It also helps to downsize from your family home to an apartment or condo that is manageable to clean. I find that not very much dirt tracks up to my fourth floor apt.

I don't love it, but I don't love living in dust and mess either. Between commute and work, I'm out of the house 11 hours every day, 5 days a week. I have a housekeeper who comes in every other week, and in the off week my husband and I split the cleaning.

When I do take vacation (which is usually a day here or two days there) I do the stuff that doesn't get done on a weekly basis - steam cleaning grout, touch up paint, windows etc.

Don't love it - but feel great when it's done. And it's good exercise :)

cmama, after thinking about it, I think you should tell your husband that you are going to take the same amount of money that he spends on his leisure time (green fees, equipment, clothing, meals out etc) and you are going to spend it on a housekeeper once or twice a month.

That way you can have the time and energy to spend on whatever hobby YOU wish to take part in.

am i crazy or does it seem like there is more dust these days? and not the darkish stuff from being on a busy street (we are at times) but white dust...do you suppose the electronics help attract it?

oh and add ants this week! was hoping the rough winter would freeze them away...guess not....

When it was just the two of us, I finally got a cleaning crew every other week. I rarely clean in between, and getting ready for their arrival keeps me from letting the clutter accumulate. We still have our big house but it is a bargain in today's real estate world as it is almost paid off. We could not buy a one bedroom condo from the proceeds if we sold the house. Besides, we can have the kids and their families all here at the same time for overnights, and that it something we love to do.

I highly recommend hiring cleaners every other week.

I must be the odd one here. I really don't mind doing housework. I guess it seems easy now compared to when I had 4 children at home, grew a big garden to can and freeze, and took care of chickens and a couple of cows.

I must be the odd one here. I really don't mind doing housework. I guess it seems easy now compared to when I had 4 children at home, grew a big garden to can and freeze, and took care of chickens and a couple of cows.

I dont mind it, either. I do a little something every day and Robert helps out with the big stuff. We've been discussing having a service come in once a month to do big stuff.

It really helps that we are both good at cleaning up after ourseves most of the time.

I hate it most of the time, but every once in a while I get a burst of energy and will turn on some loud music and kill myself. I wish I felt like doing it more often but I work long stressful hours and want to vegetate when I get time off.

My house is a mess usually. It's embarrassing especially right now. Half the carpet in the livingroom is gone along with the hall carpet. Lauren and I have been pulling it up for weeks now, a little at a time. We are going to put down laminate flooring and I'm hoping it helps with the dust and cleanliness of the house. The carpet was just gross. All those years steam cleaning it did nothing, from what I found underneath the carpet...piles of dirt. So nasty. Can't wait to be able to afford to take up the carpet in the last two bedrooms too.

I have two inside dogs, one with long hair....means dog hair all the time.

Two years ago I moved into a smaller house and have a much smaller yard and that helps.
I'm retired and so have more time to do stuff 'a little at a time'.
But also, I'm not a perfectionist, I don't dust the ceiling fans and baseboards constantly.
But I also took some steps to make the process easier- got rid of the huge heavy sofa/loveseat that was becoming impossible to clean behind and around, and got easier to move Ikea pieces, got a Shark rechargeable hand held vacuum to deal with pet hair (I have dogs and a cat) and have a Greenworks rechargeable battery powered mower that is lightweight and fun to use.
And now that my sons have girlfriends, some of the family gatherings are at their homes:)

I'm not afraid of housework ..
... can sit down beside it all day and not be bothered one bit.

o j

P.S. Ellen di ... do I hear you correctly ... that there's no "do do" in your new kitchen?

(If you don't get my drift ... read your post again - carefully).

o j

I feel like Kathleen. My hours are long, and I often have to do work from home too. I also just want to vegetate when I have down time.

I also am embarrassed by the state of my home. I feel a little like a hoarder. Not only do I have all the stuff we've accumulated over the years, I now have tons of teaching supplies taking up space. I don't have time to clean or cook. Thank goodness my husband is so wonderful and washes laundry every weekend since I started working or we wouldn't even have clean underwear! I just don't have any time right now. Hopefully in another year, things will calm down a bit. I will be able to look for a job closer to home, and I won't have all the extra paperwork.

I can make a living OR clean the house. Guess which one I do.

I have never liked housework. It got pretty bad by the time we moved up here. This house is twice as big as the one we had in GA. So I set up a cleaning routine, so that over the course of a week everything gets cleaned. Although since I have been having so much trouble with my back and Molly working so much things have been piling up. Gonna have to get Tony & Sam(when he gets home) to pitch in and help too. With my back problems there isn't much I can do. Heck, I can't even empty out the dishwasher or load it. I haven't run a vacuum in years because of the strain it puts on my back. I have to get specific with Tony. He cleaned the toilet in our bathroom and said he cleaned the bathroom. I had to bust his bubble and tell him that no, he didn't clean the bathroom. he cleaned the toilet. He didn't clean the vanity, the mirror, the sinks or the bathtub, the shower stall or vacuum the rugs....he said he would go back and finish, but that day hasn't come yet.

I have a cleaning service and they come every other week. They are great. I got their name from a family member who had used them. They clean everything and make the beds so if we strip our bed in the AM and leave clean sheets they remake it! We also have a lawn service to cut the grass. My DH is disabled and I am just not willing or able to do all the bending down etc that cleaning requires. I also get help now with garden activities that are hard like digging new beds and mulching. Life is short and I plan on enjoying it!
Joann

When we lived in Ohio and we both were working full time, I had a mother of one of my students who came in once a week to clean for me. Now that we have been here in GA I really don't know of someone to get to help me and I sure do need the help. I just can't do a lot, being older and handicapped. It is very frustrating. My dear younger neighbor works full time, but she helps me as she can and we sure do appreciate her. I'd like to find someone to come, even once a month and would like to get a lawn service too. Hubby is just not able to do things like he used to do either. This getting old sure has its drawbacks.

For some of you who would like to find some paid help for heavy housekeeping, I imagine that you have connections in the community, through social or sports organizations, book clubs, religious systems, former workmates, etc.

Perhaps if you did some checking some people there might know of persons who might be interested to help.

If you have a community college, trade school, etc. it might be worthwhile to hang around there a bit, get to know a few teachers, and you might find that some young people would be happy to help you, especially if they were able to make some choices about the work, or have some give and take with the "boss", etc.

While the social connection with others their age would not be as attractive as working at McD's ... the pay might be better, and hours of work would likely be somewhat negotiable.

Worth some thought, maybe.

Good luck with finding a more attractive path.

ole joyful ... who has paths through his rather messy house ... to most rooms

definitely vote for the cleaning person.
And for your hubby getting off his duff and pitch in!

Oh, how I LOVE this thread! I can finally say "I HATE housework"! I always felt that my husband compared me to his sister, who is a COMPULSIVE housekeeper. Okay, I read somewhere that people like that are motivated to take constant care of the house to make up for some other shortcoming. I don't know how true that is, but it makes me feel better. My husband has passed and his sister is now in an assisted living home, due to Alzheimer's. She is a really good person and I wish the best for her, but it was sure difficult to keep up with her example, no matter what her reason.

My husband and myself didn't get along all that well, so I don't consider myself "the grieving widow". I do feel much more relaxed now, even though I can't afford to hire all the help I would like. I have someone who cuts the grass every two weeks, but that's it. If it snows, my daughter's boyfriend plows my driveway, as it is over 200' long. I'm very thankful for that. I have to say, my husband ALWAYS worked and took care of the yard, the cars, and any necessary repairs, while I did the housework, the bills, and managed his business (he was in the fence installation business)--he just wasn't very good at any of that.

I live in a big, old house and it is loaded with our "stuff". My daughter and her autistic son live with me in an apartment over the garage (she is divorced for quite a while now) and we can't even think of moving because of all the stuff we have accumulated. I think a housekeeper would just give up, it's THAT BAD! I'm 68 years old, so it's difficult for me to tackle this mess, but I keep on working on it. We plan on having a HUGE garage sale in the spring and I hope we get rid of a lot of things--the problem is, I'm a real collector and I don't feel like parting with a lot--I'm glad my daughter appreciates my things, as they are (or at least, have become) very expensive. Many things are definitely not garage sale items.

I also own a house about 8 miles from here that gives me a rental income. But living on Long Island, NY, that means a lot more property taxes to pay so I don't wind up with too much extra. So I still can't afford a housekeeper! I guess you could say I'm "property poor".

And I know someone mentioned that someone stole from them, but I have so much stuff, I don't think I would even realize if something was missing! Having too much "stuff" is a drawback for several reasons!

My eyesight is not what it used to be, I have trouble seeing dust sometimes :)

I have been proactive in helping myself not be overwhelmed. I ruthlessly got rid of clutter, I estimate that I have 1/4 the 'stuff' I had just before the move from my previous house 4 years ago. I also got rid of the huge heavy sofa set and replaced it with an easier to move set. Got rid of the 'regular' dishes and now use my 'nice' set for everyday.

And especially since I have dogs and a cat, I've learned to live with 'less than perfect'. I clean and vacuum, but I no longer vacuum daily. The ceiling fans are dusted only twice a year.

And I've been around long enough to pick up tips and techniques that help. Since I have all those dogs going in and out, I haven't instituted a 'no shoes' in the house rule, but I do have a pair of garden shoes near both doors so that I don't track in dirt after gardening.

And I have a service to cut the grass, that is a major help and time saver.

Lucille, how on earth, did you find this old thread?

Moni

Lucille isn't the one that brought this up, look above her.

Moni,

The person who posted just before me posted to it and brought it to the top. It is certainly a perennial subject, I can see how people might tire of housework after a number of years.

MsGenie, you don't sound unhappy so maybe there's no reason for you to make an effort to change your situation. But you did say you're working on your mess, as you call it. So here are my two thoughts:

One, if some of the pieces in your collection have become valuable, perhaps now is the time to sell them. I don't know what kind of collections you have (furniture? art? knickknacks? vintage clothing?), but eBay and Craigslist are possibilities. If you have antiques, selling to a dealer might not bring as much money, but it's easier. Selling off some valuables--especially ones you won't even miss--could make a significant difference in your income.

The other thing is if you don't do anything about your mess, someone else (most likely your daughter) is going to have to deal with it at some point. This is something I think about myself, and it has kept my own "stuff" from getting out of control.

I don't like housework either. If I could afford to hire someone, I would.

And Long Island was a big part of my childhood and teen years. Fond memories!

Lucille, the post above yours did not show up, when I was reading. Apologies!

Moni

Hi Alisande, You're absolutely correct, I'm not unhappy! What I mostly collect is "heads" and other body parts, like hands. I know that sounds crazy! If you are familiar with antiques, I collect head vases, which are actually planters where the plant, flowers, etc. go in the top of the head. I started collecting them way before they became popular and collectible, so I picked up many of them at garage sales, flea markets, etc. for 25 or 50 cents. Many of those are worth $100.00 or even much more now. Fortunately for me, my daughter really likes them and I don't have any other children, so she will get them all along with the houses. So I don't really feel the need to get rid of stuff (except to clean up) as she doesn't have her own house and can live here with my things. Both houses are paid for (no mortgages) but I hope she will be able to afford the taxes. The real reason I want to clean up is in case she finds she has to sell one of them.

I also collected life-size mannequin heads that are reproductions of old ones (made by a retired dentist, so he was very "picky" about his work) and they are absolutely beautiful (hand-painted--he had to get someone to teach him to paint but he knew how to make molds from being involved with dentistry). I purchased them from him on eBay and he was exceedingly popular, so I had to pay a lot for them. I could probably sell them on eBay and get all my money back and then some, as he recently passed away. I used to sell vintage hats and that's what got me started on the mannequins. Once I had one, I HAD to have more!

I feel I would miss them a lot because I have them out for everyone to see (and I do still admire them)! And I don't think I could bear selling my heads, small or large!

The only thing I could sell that I don't think I would miss too much is my jewelry. I have a lot of it, including quite a bit of gold (bought it from scrap places when it was inexpensive). I had an antique shop for 22 years and I was located right next to a gold and silver buyer, so the temptation was always there. It's something I could consider and just keep the most important pieces.

So thank you for taking an interest in my predicament! Genie

Sounds good, Genie! Thanks for sharing.