I felt halfway over my cold today, when the weather was supposed to be the highest in a while, 42 F, and even kind of sunny. After a few non-postponable family commitments, I put on a scarf, hat, and down coat and headed out at 2 pm to make tracks before the sun went down at four. Dashing back and forth between the garage and the back yard assembling tools and my huge tray of bulbs, I chortled, "It doesnÂt even FEEL cold!" I decided to start with the little bulbs like chionodoxa that needed shallow 3 inch holes, thinking once I got those done I would feel a great sense of accomplishment. Then I started digging my first little hole. I thought, "WhatÂs that yucky white mold under the mulch?" and plunged my trowel in. Or not. (Did I hit a rock? Move trowel over, try againÂ) Nothing happened. The trowel did not go in even an inch. ThatÂs when I realized the funny looking white stuff was not mold, but ICE CRYSTALS. The ground was already frozen! In mid-November! IÂve planted later than this before! How can this be??? I got a pickaxe and managed to plant maybe 50 before the sun was too far down to continue. That is, if you can call it "planting" when you put a chunk of frozen dirt on top of a bulb and canÂt press it down knowing that if you do, you will crush the bulb. 3 inch deep hole, hah. Those chionodoxa are an inch down if anything. 50 down, 650 to goÂ.ItÂs supposed to snow tomorrow.

I have "Crafting ADD". I'm like a bee. I get bored with the current flower & search out something new & different. IF (& only IF) I have a deadline...do I ever really feel motivated to finish anything. If it's a "just because" item with no deadline, I may or may not finish it. If it turns out too hard or time consuming, I may scrap it early on & find an "easier flower". Often times, I have to be in the right mood to work on a project. I just took a self exam on my passions/what motivates me & discovered that if I don't feel confident I can do it well, I probably won't even start it...or I'll drag my feet & go do something else...even something that I hate doing (dishes!). Every excuse in the book... On Friday, I had to pick paint color for the bathroom so my DH could paint. I've known for months that I needed to come up with a color. I love color, but the decision is "monumental" in my brain because you have to either a)live with the color chosen or b)repaint (double work!). BTDT...had to repaint the repainted 2nd bathroom a few months back because of bad color choice. I became paralyzed at the paint color display... Finally made a choice...DH likes it (Maybe because he painted & doesn't want to have to redo???)...I think it's going to have to grow on me...and I STILL have to find matching towels & decor... Groan...

hmmmm....tough, but good question kay.... even though I don't believe in astrology, as a Leo, I do see myself as brash and overconfident(outsiders might see it as cocky and be turned away...so what?) I think of myself as a person that faces things up front and just deals with them....whether they are good or bad results doesn't matter, you just have to be satisfied that you made the wise decision and move on. If I dwelled on every mistake that I have made, I'd be living in a cave....as it is, I tread carefully and hope I never step on thin ice ever again. As far as greater beings controlling my life, I agree...but I believe I am a deist by all definition. Thinking logically might send me to hell but my only regret will be that the beer will be warm. :)

Thanks for all your responses. I have really enjoyed reading them and have thought a lot about myself and what defines me to me. I've always wanted to write a biography for my kids but I'd get bogged down in details and give it up after I'd written way too many pages on the first two years of my life. Now I'm going to write a very brief account. My parents were blank. I grew up in blank. Just the facts, you know? I was just talking to my daughter and asked her if she knew how fast her dad and I left our small home town to live two hours away in the city. And fifty years later we are still here. She had no idea. Anyway...i sent M (my daughter) your responses last night and called her this morning to see if she'd read them. She likes them a lot and I will send these new ones. She said she is feeling better about her identity and thinks it is the fact that it has only been a couple of weeks since school was out that is making it an issue at all. I think Gscience is right that this may be more of a thing with people who teach because they live and breath their job 24/7. We always thought M would be a lawyer because she was so ready to argue and run all our lives from a young age. However, after her education, all this was channeled into being a teacher and I think she is probably a very good one because she genuinely loves her students and has a lot of empathy for them as she was not a good student until she got into high school. Lars, I love personality tests and really enjoyed your account. M says she has taken the Meyer-Briggs test but has forgotten the results. I really admired the way you let all of us weigh in on the house you just bought without showing an ounce of sensitivity about our criticisms. I think you must be a man who is comfortable with who he is. As for me, I have always tended to define myself as how other people define me. I've never had a good sense of who I am. Now that I am seventy three I am beginning to change that and give value to what I think and discount other people's opinions. It's about time, right? April, I am a INFP-T. The T stands for turbulent. I've never really looked into what that means exactly. I think that is a recent addition to the test. I suspect it means that my emotions are strong and ever-changing. I react strongly to everything. My mother was that way. We all tiptoed around her and didn't tell her things because she always reacted so badly to everything. My goal in life was to not be like her. But I am. I react very quickly but I'm over it in a minute. My husband, on the other hand, doesn't show much emotion but he doesn't get over things easily. This is getting long but I really enjoy the subject and hope to hear more from all of you about it.