Everybody needs a hobby!

I am simply obsessed with decorating ANYONE's house or home.

I will re-arrange items in stores. In restaurants. In hotels. DH simply edges away from me and pretends to be absorbed in the menu or the plants ....

I TRY very hard NOT to move things in other people's houses. However, I will ASK if I can move a small table closer to my chair or switch on a lamp.

I do ask about their homes, their artworks (including photos) and their gardens. They might say "Oh - We don't think about those kinds of things ...." I do feel a bit weird -- like I've just inquired about their sex lives! LOL! :)

All of this strange behaviour has garnered some very odd looks and comments .....

Especially at my home .....

Here is a few of the remarks:

"Wow, its so clean, you must spend all of your time cleaning!"

"Do you read those books?"

"You must spend all of your time shopping -- your DH must HATE that!"

"Who actually CARES about paint colors?"

"Well -- YOU have NO children so you don't have anything else to do!" (that type of remark is particularly unkind.)

And my favorite:

"I wasn't expecting THIS." (Just WHAT does that remark mean????)

Jan at Rosemary Cottage

Maybe I shouldn't admit this. My husband thinks it's a bit odd....if we go anywhere at night he drives and that way as we drive past houses I can look into windows and see their decor. I'll make it clear - I don't get out of the car and peep in windows, I simply glance in while I'm sitting in the car as we drive past!

my hubby did at one time. We had lived in our home for about 8yrs before I decided to really started painting and decorating. The kitchen was the 1st and I swear I must have had 20 samples on the walls so I suppose he was right, but since being on these boards and getting a little better at choosing my colors he has gotten used to it. We only have 2 more rooms in our home to paint and I am a bit sad that I have run out of walls (for now)

I can't think of many more things that are as wholesome and healthy and beneficial as having an "obsession" with one's own home! It is, after all, the place where most people spend the majority of their time. It's the place where most people make the majority of their memories. They laugh and cry and eat and sleep and make love and argue there. If there's any one place that should be an obsession, it's a person's home, right?
:-)

Maybe, auntjen, but there is such a thing as feeling satisfied with what you have. I am that way. Yes, I love my home - the way it is. I'm satisfied we got it right, and I have no desire to change things. Oh, I tweak a little here or there, but I'm happy here the way it is, have been for several years.

My sil is always painting walls, buying and selling her furniture, working on some project or other. She says she is happy doing those things, but I wouldn't change lives with her for anything. She is always after her husband (my brother) to move the furniture, help her refinish things, etc., and it drives him nuts. They are at cross purposes and they argue about it.

I suppose if two spouses like to do those things together, it's OK. Hub and I love our home as it is. Just don't feel the need for change for change's sake.

Sherry

Obviously, once you're perfectly satisfied with your home it's a moot point. But for those who are still in the process of "getting there", I think it's a most positive pursuit.

All my friends did. When I was a SAHM I took advantage of that time and we worked on our home. But we did spend too much time I must admit. So when we got the new house we worked really fast, other house took 10+years, to get the house pretty just right. We wanted the yard to be low maintenance and to come home and relax. It does bug dh that the formal living room is not done and we need to complete the family room as it has been 5yrs here. We were set to complete this winter but I am on medical leave while having chemo and funds are shorter. So I promised him that when I get back to work this Fall we will have both rooms done by Christmas.

I am not a materialistic person but it does bother me when I go to my friends homes and they are all messy and nasty. They are SAHMs and do nothing all day. They don't have to decorate and get all fancy but they could at least keep the house somewhat clean and orderly.

I am sure I will get flack for saying that but I was a working mom with my first baby, then was able to take 5yrs off with second, then returned to work as I was bored at home, even with two small kids. My SAHM friends would always tell me how busy they were but I could never figure out what they really were busy with. At least I still keep a nice home, work on projects, take my kids to school every day and cart two kids around all week long. Now, add chemo treatment to my schedule.

What was always funny was how my friends would come over and say how nice my house was and how we must make a ton of money, etc. It really bugged me. I would remind them that while kids napped I would do stuff and when they were awake I would stop, and no we are not rich, we just do everything ourselves because we cannot afford to hire anyone.

I must admit that dh is burned out on doing stuff, which is why I am glad most stuff is done. Now it is just maintenance. Pool parts break, bark needs refilled, roses pruned and baseboard paint touched up. At least we no longer need to hang molding, install outside lights, build anything.

Oh, and with everthing else I do, I scrapbook. Just picked up 1500 pictures to do both my kids books. Maybe I am part energizer bunny???

It seems some people never get there, that's all I'm saying. I think the OP is having a blast doing it for 8 months - We did when we first moved in, too. It's people who can't stop decorating and changing things that I don't understand. There seem to be a lot of people like that, I'm just not one of them. And that makes me happy.

I'm with Aunt Jen! There is no place like home and nesting to make it the perfect spot for you and your family, is perfectly normal. I may drive my DH crazy with it, my daughter and her DH think I'm nuts too but they all love seeing the finished results and often times my DD & SIL come back with thoughts of doing the same things we do. :c)

I love walking into my 'obsession'! ;o)

You have to remember that the older generation, for the most part, did their homes and then left them. I know my parents and in-laws are stunned when I move furniture around or change the colour of a room. For them, once it's done, it's done. They bought new furniture once or twice in their lifetimes, they couldn't imagine change for change sake. I swear, my mom has the same niknaks in the exact same arrangement since she bought her house 12 years ago. She found the perfect spot for sofa, tables, chairs, etc., so why would she move them? She just can't fathom the "need" to decorate.

I understand where Shermann is coming from. I've never been told I'm obsessed with our home, and I'm not constantly changing things (big changes anyway). However, I think decorating is an ongoing thing and that a home evolves, so I do tweak, etc. but I am also content with our home. Of course their comes a time that a room needs redone, furniture needs replaced, etc.

I don't think you have to be obsessed to make your home a place you love. I'm a nester myself but that doesn't mean redoing things constantly. Our home is our *safe haven* but we are not obsessed, there are too many other things we love to do!

tina

I am sure I have a friend or 2 who seem confused about how much my DH and I enjoy working on our home. Thank goodness that we both enjoy taking pride in our home. I think the confusion might be in that some think people do projects/upgrade/paint their homes to impress others........that is not the case. For me and my family it feels good to come home to a place that is truly ours. By doing these projects together, or even choosing things and having others do it (wouldn't that be nice) it turns a house into OUR HOME.
Maybe people think it is an obsession, but if it is, there are worse things to be obsessed with!!!!

My parents never did anything with house at all until it burned halfway. They were forced to redo kitchen and actually did a nice job. Really pretty dark cabinets. Unfortunately they never did the countertops. One side of room had either a piece he got on sale at store or it was salvaged from original kitchen. The other counter was a piece of particleboard. They stayed like that from 1975-2001ish when they finally sold. It was so nasty wiping them down. Surprised we did not all end up sick.

I too agree, it is more of taking pride and feeling happy in our surroundings. I never try to impress anyone but myself.

My dh gets a lot of flack from my family whenever he buys something. "oh, look who got a kayak" or "look who got a new tv". It is really annoying, the man works hard and likes a really crips picture on his tv. At least his kids are clean and wellfed first who cares what he does with his money.

We have some relatives and friends that think we're a little overboard. I've stopped with my centerpiece displays for holidays because people got all weird on me. It was fun for me. Wasn't trying to be "upper crust". I want to get the house DONE with tweaking here and there. Probably update later in life. Good news is by the time we'll be wrapping up our house my sister and BIL will be in their new one. :)

Jan - Oh, I hear ya! The comments at times make me smile, other times they can flat out irritate. My latest ones were

"Why is your art so low?"

"Why do you have that picture there? It doesn't go with the stuff in your room." - I like it and besides, it was GW approved. ;)

I also am tired of the,"That'll all change when you have kids" comments. Um no. I will continue to care what my house looks like as well as keep myself (nails, hair, makeup, etc.) nice.

I've heard the "rich" comments lately in a not so nice tone. Just because I care what my house looks like we're rich? I'm all about thrifting thank you.

I'm not sure why some people act like this hobby is different than any other. Some people really get into watching sports. For me, I'd rather scroll through decorating blogs.

Anything in life can get out of balance.

Well Kam that sounds like a very mother-in-law type of thing to say....it is something I might think but I would never verbalize to my grown kids....some things are better left unsaid, you know what I mean?

I know i've left 'an impression' on cetain people, but never thought it would be my two son-in-laws. When DD #2 married, her DH kept saying to DD, 'your Mom needs to go shopping with you and pick out some pictures and stuff, the house looks bare'~I thought that was hilarious! We went shopping several times, and I 'helped' DD choose everything from vases to art. I also made curtains for the kitchen/eating area, as well as flower arrangements. He says it now looks like someone 'lives here'. I'm glad we did everything before I moved to TX!

Youngest DD's husband always asks my opinion~the other day it was 'how high should the ceiling fan be?' What the heck do *I* know about ceilings fans? He also asks my opinion on paint colors before he buys, and always gets what I recommend. I think what it really boils down to is we're both anal retentive Virgo's, and agree on most things. ;o)

We also just bought our first home and moved in 7 months ago and for the last 7 months it has been work, work, work! But we (mostly *I* lol) just want to get the place feeling like ours, so that it feels like our home.

My mother doesn't believe the amount of things I have bought and returned since we moved in! But sometimes you don't get it right on the first try ;)

I will admit that I drive my husband a little crazy though because I jump from room to room and from project to project.

I am sure quite a few would say I am "obsessed" but it's my first house and I think I have the right to enjoy it :) and I have received lots of compliments and some family members have started asking me for advice with their homes too which makes me feel good.

i get on kicks. im on one now and lovin it. what an upper to walk into your own house and loving all the visuals. i'm always going back and forth to the stores, buying, returning, making mental notes of what i see and where it can be used.

lately, i've been trying to pare down. i've always like traditional, but in my old (er) age, i like a cleaner traditional. i store items in the garage and every once in a while i go "shopping" in the garage maybe to switch things up.

I just have to make one quick comment before I admit to my degree of obsession: Please don't say that SAHMs "do nothing all day." That just is not true, and I'm sure if you were a SAHM for any period of time, you must know that. Now, I have no intention of stirring up a big debate, but I had to say that.

Anyway, I am similar to DeeDee only with me, it's walking. I will often walk at dusk, because I know that people's lights are on in their homes and often they haven't gotten around to pulling shades or curtains yet, so I can peek in (don't worry, I stay on the sidewalk) and analyze their decor. Along the way, I redecorate their rooms in my head. As in, "Ugh, need to get rid of that wallpaper. I like the artwork, though. Maybe use that green from the print and paint the walls..."

I don't fully redecorate my own home often, but I'm constantly tweaking. We also have had a lot of construction projects. Today I had a friend tell me "I've known you for almost 10 years and it seems like you have always had a project going on." This came from a friend who decorated her house once, 10 years ago, and never thought about it again. I guess we're two extremes!

When I was younger with my kids I was content with how the house looked. It was always neat, clean and freshly painted. I also got those remarks "wait until you have kids" and then when I had kids and the house still stayed nice it was "I bet your mother helps you out".
I am not sure when the obsession started but probably as I found myself with more time and money to make changes. I had to laugh at some of the statements here like "I ran out of rooms to paint" and "we drive around at night and I look in people's homes" .I do the same. Some people (many on this site) just have a knack for decorating and it comes quite easy. When I see some of the homes here or rooms in magazines or when visiting somewhere, I go home and re-evaluate my home thinking "why can't it look like that"?. That just starts me off on a new mission of trying to get it right. People who come to my home think I am nuts and love my home, but I just see the wrong paint color, mismatched area rugs, etc. Luckily, this only happens in spurts of when I am deep into it. Once I get busy with something else, I can then sit back and enjoy what I have accomplished. Right now it really bothers me that I didn't get my living room color right and maybe it will take re-painting to put this obsession to rest. I can probably guarantee you that after my daughter's wedding I will be back on this site looking for everyone's help a bit wiser from all I learned here.

Before anyone gets miffed, I just want to point out that what Shannon said, was, that HER friends were SAHMs who don't keep their homes neat. She was not making a judgment of Moms in general, just the ones that she knows. I think that's fair. Most of my working mom friends work themselves into a frazzle. They keep their families going, their homes neat, and all do volunteer work too. That doesn't mean I think all moms who work outside the home manage their time well, just my own set of friends.......

I just got teased by the girls at work for my constant painting and other decorating. They haven't even been to my home. They just judge me by what I talk about. And it's mostly fair. I do keep working on my house. My mom would be apalled if she lived close enough to know about it. She only upgraded things that were worn out. And that was so much more cost-effective than what I do. But she also only did the bare minimum of cleaning necessary. I don't go along with that. My childhood home only got dusted once or twice a year. My current home has dusty nooks, but mostly, we keep up with it.

I think that in my case, I enjoy fussing with my house and paint and fabric. It's almost like a little hobby.

Red

Does anyone say I am obsessed? You tell me. I'm not a medically-oriented person, I rarely take so much as an aspirin and even had my babies at home without any kind of meds, but tomorrow I am going to the doctor with a home-decor-based injury.

Go ahead and laugh, but I spent so much time shopping online for my new foyer light fixture, I gave myself a repetitive strain injury in my mousing arm. I literally think I need a sling and some physical therapy.

My mother, best friends, and children practically threw a party when the fixture was finally installed, they were so glad the search was over and they could be free of hearing about it!

You have to remember that the older generation, for the most part, did their homes and then left them.

Wasn't like that in our house. Furniture was rearranged at least twice a year and every couple years rooms had to be painted. I won't tell you how long it took dh & I to repaint our rooms. And furniture being rearranged? Not happening here. Now outdoors it's a totally different thing, but that canvas seems wired for constant change. We're all different.

Actually come to think of it, my Mom says my Grandma constantly moved furniture around etc. when they were young. They got to help and hated it over time. My Mom and her sisters never move their furniture. lol

I have always been obsessed with my home. Be it at my apartment at nineteen or This Old House now at sixty. It's my drug of choice and this is my support group, so there.

....Jane

Wow, thanks for all of the responses and discussion. Glad I'm not the only one! I guess everyone has their thing, whether it's home decorating, cooking, traveling, cars, sports, etc.
Jane- you crack me up!!!

I like home decorating so much I opened a store! I actually didn't buy a lot of things, but have always loved looking and helping friends and co-workers. The love for the perfect curtains also led me to many books then many conferences to learn more. I move my furniture rarely, my house is not designed in a way that I can do that. But I love to change up pillows, candles, pictures, rugs, all to a degree. Painting is the same at home for 10 yrs (for most rooms!)---but we change up the shop often enough to keep me happy.

Whether or not it's a "healthy" obsession is determined, imho, not by the what, but the why & how.

Let's say that two people are very engaged in home decorating, gardening, etc.

Why?

Person 1) Because it's interesting, creative, fun & meaningful to use color, pattern, texture, plant life, & so on, in an effort to express myself & share these joys of life with others.

Person 2) Because I want to make it clear that I have considerable discretionary income. I want to impress the neighbors & hopefully make them jealous. I want to acquire status among my peers. I want get lots of praise for my stuff so I can feel good about myself.

Both of these individuals may spend a considerable about of time, energy, money & other resources on the same kind of activities. Both may be labeled by others as obsessed. But I think motivation matters. It's always fascinating to me to observe this phenomenon in all areas of life. It's not the what, but the why & how that tells you the most about a person.

If anyone wants to see obsession, visit a historic district or a 100+ year old neighborhood being brought back to life, although decorating isn't as paramount as restoration quality/details. Even little kids have opinions! Years ago, I had neighbors over for the first time & was pointing out different architectural features on the main floor when their 5 year old daughter says (in a bored, expert consultant voice), "okay, can I see the upstairs now?". I was expecting to be critiqued!

Reading through a few more responses.......I was thinking about something that frustrates me just a bit...

My co-worker (calling her Lisa) enjoys a lot of outdoor hobbies. She only works 3 days per week and on her off days, plays golf, flys a plane, rides her Harley, and cycles many miles, often entering marathons and 'rides'. She comes back to work each day talking about the ride to the coast on her Harley, flying to Southern Ca in her plane, training for the 100 mile bike ride, etc. Everyone listens with interest and she shares her pursuits frequently during the day with customers too. But if I get asked what I did this weekend, and mention repainting the bathroom or making curtains for the living room, they all roll their eyes and make comments about my "obsession with decorating". It's all in good fun, I laugh and agree, and we all enjoy our mutual teasing. But I sometimes take a private moment to wonder why my occasional house tweaking gets so much commentary, while someone obviously addicted to fun takes no flak? (Plus, I have to wonder when she has time to do any regular house maintenance, of the dusting/sweeping/cleaning variety...?)

Red

Red, don't really see how you can compare the two passions. I think most people would find your co-workers' activities more interesting, unless of course they love decorating the way you do.

Great food for thought, Red! Yes, you raise an interesting question, indeed.

There has been a backlash over the last 15-20 yrs., if I'm not mistaken, toward the domestic front. All those jokes, snide remarks, & general brushing off of Martha Stewart, for example, stemmed from this camp. (Granted, MS does not serve as a role model for us all, but, ykwim!)

Expressed & promoted is the bias that anything remotely domestic in nature is a waste of time. Women should be more enlightened. You're supposed to move away from such activities so that you have more time to spend on more admirable pursuits such as Harley riding, any kind of sport, or bold adventure. It seems to me like a rejection of the feminine. Your friend's "fun" time sounds so macho to me, & that's what wins women kudos these days. When we do sterotypically feminine things, it's derided, dismissed, & demeaned. It's so very acceptable to make snide remarks like your coworkers do (fortunately in your case, at least with humor) regarding attention paid to the hearth & home. Does that ring true to you?

My husband died last year. My (our) home is a treasure for me. Full of love and memories. Of course I love maintaining it. Now all those projects fall to me. That keeps me busy. I come home each evening to ..... no one, really, its an empty nest. So all my projects are a healthy distraction, a goal, a hobby, etc. Wonderful comforting results that also increase the value of this investment.....

Obsessed, prob not, very involved in my house, definitely.

stinky-Gardner I agree wholeheartedly! I have many other interests but this is my passion and I am proud of that passion.
I was trying to explain to my husband why our home is so important to me. It's not that he doesn't like our home - he just doesn't quite get my interest in it. Here is what I wrote to him:
Home is powerful. Home is the base. Home is where good things start. Being surrounded by beautiful things makes me happy. A room that is beautiful, practical and organized gives me peace.
sistersunnie, I am so sorry for your loss.

My DH....oops :^)

Oh I'm sure some people think I am but I don't care. It's what I love to do and it makes me happy.

Yes, that's how I ended up here in the first place ;^D
But . . . I find that those people are always running to me asking for advice with their decorating problems. Being "obsessed" does have it's up side!
Lynn

I'm sorry...only an idiot thinks that any SAHM or any mom in general does "nothing" all day long. That's beyond insulting and rude.

My house today....well it was easter on Sunday and DH is 4. He got grass in his basket...boy does that boy love grass (I got the paper kind knowing he'd make a mess with it). It's all over our elegant home...from the outside it looks like a fabulous victorian mansion...from the inside...well it's easter grass hell because this SAHM was painting the dining room (14' ceilings, wall paper removed, floor being repainted etc). So my home is a SAHM home and it's a freaking mess and if you so much as come near it and say that I do nothing I'll hit you with a paint bucket...hard and I'm not kidding.

So, umm were was I? Am I obsessed....sunnie, I read something into your post...."Emotionally invested" in your home is what I'd call you. You have had a terrible loss, but have kept a part of those memories within your home. I would imagine that's a great comfort to you...it would be to me I know. Your loss saddens me, but the fact that you have your home to wrap you in good memories puts warmth in my heart for you.

I'm new to my house...I'm already emotionally invested in it, obsessed, and well overwhelmed with the resposability of it. It's a national treasure (or so the plaque on the door says) but it's 12 dirty bathrooms and some really ugly red carpet to me (which is gone in one room now LOL). It's a big fat box, full of history that astounds me. We bore tourists with stories of it (they want to book a room so that's their tough luck) and we have taken to caring for the graves of the original owners...their personal effects are given a spot of great honor in our music room and a large library cabinet will be dedicated to them when we're finished restoring their and our home :) We feel like they are family because we sleep in the bed the original owners wife, and probably he died in (we've changed the mattress since then)...um obsessed???? No not me LOL (ok just a little).

There is nothing wrong with being obsessed with your home as long as your family is too. We're hoping for a home like sunnie's....where memories are so tightly interwoven into our home that it's a part of our life as well. A home that provides joy and comfort when we're here and when we're gone. What more could one ask for :)

Aside from a housekeeper....heh heh

Well our modest rancher and large yard housed a family - a family of four with all its accessories and activities for over 20 years. Of course it is loaded with good memories. It is the base from which all of us launched each day. It is the place of comfort for my grown children. It was the place of confinement during his illness and the place my husband spent his last days. It was were we planted our young feet, brought our babies home. It was the casing in which we stuffed our monies, our efforts (read sweat equity). We thought to move several times as the family nearly outgrew the square footage. BUT as luck and circumstances went, we never did. I thought to leave it after he died, the memories were nearly overwhelming. Was wise to not make that hasty decision. It is now the place that keeps me busy, wraps me in a hug when I get home at night, the therapy on bad days. A warm and welcoming beacons.....

I really do sound obsessed! UGH!

"I'm sorry...only an idiot thinks that any SAHM or any mom in general does "nothing" all day long. That's beyond insulting and rude." --pretty much sums it up :-)

"So my home is a SAHM home and it's a freaking mess and if you so much as come near it and say that I do nothing I'll hit you with a paint bucket...hard and I'm not kidding." - LOL

Sistersunnie - what a lovely description of a family home!

Somewhat fitting for this thread...

A man comes home from work one day and nearly trips over an empty Cheerios box on his way in the door. As he looks around the house, he sees the Cheerios strewn about the house, sippy cups laying randomly on their sides with small puddles of milk under them, pots and pans and tupperware containers spread all over the floor of the kitchen, magazines ripped apart and spread throughout the house, and other various sorts of chaos. Then he sees his kids running around either partially dressed or completely naked and screaming. He says to his wife "what happened in here?" She says, "remember yesterday when you asked me what I do all day? Well, I didn't do those things today!"

Here'a another take. I think OTHER PEOPLE ARE OBSESSED WITH MY HOME. They come over and start telling me what they would do with it. :0)

A couple of interesting parallel topics going on here!

On SAHM busy/not busy. I agree with both camps. My own story: I worked FT till my first child was born then went PT, starting with a truly minimal time commitment (9 hours weekly, 3 hour days) and finally going FT when my youngest was a junior in HS. So I often felt like a true hybrid, neither WOH or SAH.

In my opinion, anyone home with a young child or children, ie preschooler, is working damn hard! Taking care of kids their first few years from birth to school age is just a huge amount of effort-physically, emotionally and organizationally.

But once the kids are in school all day I don't think SAH life is all that taxing. I know, I know all the reasons it is: the SAHM does all the housework and driving and budgeting etc etc. But, most moms who work outside the house have many if not most of those commitments and have to do them while also going to work every day.

Frankly, by the time kids get to middle and high school I think SAH moms have a pretty cushy life. That's my story and I'm sticking to it :). Anecdotally, I also have observed among my SAH friends that those HS parenting years, especially as they end, are when mothers feel motivated to find something to do with their lives outside the house.

Now as to obsessing about one's home, sign me up for the club. I am in AuntJen's camp (of course). Home is the most important part of building a life and a family, so to me making it the best place it can be is a priority. I don't actually *do* nearly as much as I think I should be doing. But for me the dreaming and planning and shopping and thinking is the joy of it, because that lets me consider such a wide range of possibilities. I also love looking at decorating and home related projects that others are obsessed with. This forum, blogs, friends' homes...all are fascinating to me. As someone who believes people reflect themselves in their homes, the way in which we choose to feather our nests is an unending source of interest.

Ann

I rarely come to the decorating forum but posted a question today and this thread caught my eye. It's an interesting read. I'm in the NOT obsessed camp. Under different circumstances I might be but I think I might be a bit too frugal to get very obsessed about it. I lean more toward not getting rid of things that are perfectly functional and not purchasing things that are going to quickly become so dated that I'm going to want to get rid of them when they're perfectly good. I also work a lot in an executive level position and I'm just not home that much to get obsessed about the decor. We also have two homes (weekend lake place) and between a more than full time job and managing the two homes as well as finances, meals, exercise, etc. I just don't have much time to spend on decorating.

I do love home and being at home in my free time. I'm really a homebody. And at times - like when I'm riding my exercise bike - I ponder changes I'd like to make to my decor. And if I didn't have to get up and go to work the next day I'd probably go to work on the decor. But since that's not the case it just isn't a high priority for me. For now my only priority along those lines is remodeling my 38 year old bathroom - not because it's esthetically unpleasant but because it's falling apart.

I am obsessed a/b decorating. Not so much a/b my house. I spend more time reading, thinking, sketching than actually doing any decorating or remodeling on my house. When I do other people's house, I can get things done so quickly. But when it comes to my house, everything moves at snail pace! I don't have the self-imposed pressure of having to have things done so I just let things slide. I bought this sofa with the intention of reupholstering it and now, 2 years later, it's still sitting in the living room in it's original musty moldy fabric LOL :-D

I agree the roughest part of being a SAHM is when the kids are young. When they are a bit older & in school, you have the morning away from the kids but once school's out, it's crazy with their 1001 activities. Most SAHM moms I know with older children volunteer at school in the morning, or work in the morning until kids are out. Some went back to school so they can work once kids are in college, some open their own business. The hardest part is to find a job that allowed you to get out early at 230 pm to pick up the kids.

Dh want to be a house husband once my youngest in public school. He has it all planned out: drop kids off at school, go to the golf course play 1 round, pick them up at 3pm. Goes home fix them (and himself) a snack then take a nap. LOL :-D

My sisters are working moms and I think they have it tough. After working all day, they still have to deal with homework, chores, cooking, etc. They have pressure on their jobs too whereas I am pretty much my own boss. Their kids can't do any extracurricular activities like piano lessons or dance or sports because nobody has time to shuffle them around. Another friend of mine has a full-time live in nanny who drives the kids to school & all activities. Someday she said she doesn't even get to see them awake.

I think once my DS2 is in public school, I'm going back to work the morning shift 6am-2pm. That way I won't miss out any of their moments. However, that means I won't have the morning to dream, sketch, and basically obsess a/b decorating. :-(

Sistersunnie, your description of what a "home" is to you brought me to tears. I am so sorry for your loss and so happy that you find comfort, joy and peace in your home.

I have a neighbor who only looks at a home as an investment. He is quite wealthy but will only put money into his house if he feels it will bring him a financial gain. He never thinks of a house as a home. I think, IMO, he is missing out on the meaning of a home.

SAHM is the toughest job on the planet, imo! Just the toughest!

I'm just a SAHW! Have never had children. I'm constantly in awe of women who work whether they have kids at home or not. Can't even imagine what it must be like to work all day then come home & do housework, yardwork, errand-running, appointment making, bill paying, etc. SO many women I see around look hurried, harried & hassled...no wonder!

Even without kids, I feel I work hard, but can't imagine adding a job or kids (or both...!) to the mix. But, if I should need to work someday, will have to drop a lot of stuff I do at home.

Redbazel, thanks so much for setting the record straight for me. I was speaking specifically about my friends who could never believe all the stuff I did while a SAHM. They always said they were so busy but could never tell me what they did all day and their houses were a mess, had kids but no activities to go to or anything like that.

I must say that for myself I managed to get a lot done when my kids were little because I took advantage of naptime. But now that both are in school and I am back to work I still manage to get the same amount of stuff done and I am not frazzled at all. I think I am just a good time manager or something. When I was a SAHM I had friends with the same age kids as me and they could not get dishes done. They would always ask me how I got stuff done and still did home improvements/decorate.

As for now, I am on medical leave due to my chemo treatment. Although side effects are limiting me right now, I still have to get stuff done somehow. DH has a very hard job and regardless of my health he does have to work. So I manage my time around how I feel each day and stuff just gets done. Again, I think I am just a good time manager.

My BIL has been out of work for two years and tells my sis he is just too busy all day to do any yard work or clean his office. She cannot figure out what he does all day. They have no kids and yard is pretty much a jungle. Maybe he is hanging out with my friends who I cannot figure out what they do all day? lol

Again, no intention to slam any SAHM who does work her tail off. Been there, done that, kinda doin it again.

SAHMs : yes it's a very important job, I've done it . But it also has good fringe benefits such as the ability to put things on hold, workwise. More freedom than an outside job would have. I used to do a lot of DIY projects while they were at school. Like Shannon said, it helps if you're a good time manager.

It also depends on how many kids you have and how needy they are.
How demanding your partner's job is and if he/she helps out in any way.